The 20 Worst Parts About Winter Break, as Told by Amy Poehler

We count down the days until break begins, and by the end we are counting down the days until we go back to school. I think it’s easy to say that winter break is the biggest love-hate relationship of every college kid’s life. Christmas cookies, holiday shopping, seeing your family and ugly sweater parties. The list of things we love about winter break could go on forever. But, what about the stuff we hate? The much anticipated question, “how’s school? Have you picked your major yet?” and even worse, the terrible gifts that you absolutely hate but pretend to absolutely love. Winter break is great, but it also comes at a cost. Let’s take a look at the 20 parts about winter break that we absolutely loathe.  

1. You have to make-up for all of the doctor appointments you have been rescheduling for the past four months. It’s finally time to get updated on your Hepatitis A-Z shots and finish up all of those ones that have like, 50 parts to them. 21 years old and you still want to punch the nurse when she comes at you with those needles…

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2. Procrastination means you are stuck Christmas shopping with all of the crazy mall moms.  As it turns out, your genius idea to do last minute gift searching wasn’t so genius after all….

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3. Your whole family wants to know how school and work is going, and the story of your over achieving cousin’s life ensues. Apparently she developed some cancer-curing medical laser. Big whoop.   

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4. You are so poor that you actually have no choice but to go back to work

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5. You miss your roommates so much it actually hurts. You usually know what they had for breakfast and the last time they went to the bathroom, but now you are all out of the loop on their life in the past three weeks.

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6. You forgot how flippin’ boring being home is; no house parties or college bars. You are so bored that you and your friends decide to do the only thing there is to do in your hometown…. go bowling.

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7. You keep your head down and sunglasses on when you go to the grocery store for your mom, until you hear the dreaded, “OMG Katie! Is that you?! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Crap…

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8. Your aunt tries so hard every year to get you a great gift, but she seems to forget that sweaters with fringed sleeves and musical snow globes aren’t really your thing. You attempt to look and act as enthused as possible …..

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… and cue your mom.

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9. Your parents drag you to their work holiday parties, because “all of my the other co-workers kids will be there, and they’re your age!”

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10. It’s been a while since your mom has been there to check-up on your every single move- “what are you doing?”, “what time will you be back?”, “who all was there?” Now you even find yourself annoyed when she asked what you had for dinner.

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11. There are always at least a few days of your break that you spend in a flu-like misery. Being home is like some trigger to your immune system. Just because you are in your own bed with your mom around to take care of you, your body automatically thinks it’s okay to get sick.

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12. Your relatives seem to forget that you turned 21 a year ago, and they have these huge concerns about your drinking habits…

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So, to protect your dignity and save yourself from getting the “responsible drinking” talk one more time, you find it easier to just sneak a few drinks when Grandma isn’t looking.

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13. On that note, you have some of your worst hangovers over winter break. Between reunions with old high school friends, holiday parties, lonely wine nights and New Years Eve, your head has never hurt so badly.

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14. All of your coupled friends can never hang out because they have to go to their boyfriend’s family Christmas. Plus, you and your few single friends are left to grieve together over the millions of Instagram pictures of promise rings and secret weekend getaways to some romantic ski lodge.

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15. Your mom has an increased concern about your strict Lean Cuisine and Spaghettio diet. She gingerly leaves you “Green Monster” health smoothies on the counter in the morning and cuts up fresh fruit for you to eat before she leaves for work.

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16. Your hair is practically fried from having to wash, dry and style it every night for some sort of Christmas festivity. Showering starts to feel like even more of a chore than it did before.

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And you are running out of outfits and ugly Christmas sweaters to wear.

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17. Due to the fact that your parent’s Christmas break is only about four days, they are secretly hoping they can trick you into doing some weird last minute and forgotten chores around the house, like separating the Christmas bows by color and dusting the knobs on the china cabinet

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18. All five of your cousins conveniently got the lead role as Jesus in their Christmas play, which means you have to stare at hand-painted, cardboard nativity scenes every Sunday night of Christmas break.

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19. No matter how big or small your family is, there is always that lingering uncle or second cousin twice removed that you have never met. And to top it off, you can never remember their name. “Is it John? Or is it Jack? Screw it, I can’t remember.”

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20. Perhaps the worst part of winter break? Your parents continuously nag you to get off the couch and be productive. You know what mom and dad? I slaved over a $600 textbook all semester, living off of five hours of sleep. I am going to be as lazy as I want and I don’t care what you think.

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So, there you have it; the 20 most awful, terrible, despised parts of our winter break. But hey, we better learn to love even those parts…. because one day, a month long winter break will be a thing of our past.