The modern dating world isn’t exactly filled with romance and deep conversations anymore. From swiping right to double tapping, affection seems to be shown online more than any other way. Sadly, this doesn’t exactly get our hearts beating as fast as a bouquet of unexpected flowers could. The romantics in us still believe true love exists and are hopeful more meaningful encounters will make a comeback, but here are a few ways to get out of a date — ya know — just in case.
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1. Tell a white lie
White lies are what make up the majority of excuses we have listed below. Zara Barrie, Senior Sex and Dating Writer at Elite Daily, explains why telling white lies are sometimes necessary. "If you need to get out of a date and you don't want to hurt their feelings because they're kind people and rejection sucks--I think telling a white lie is okay,” she states. We can definitely get behind this idea of sparing someone more heartache than they deserve. From blaming it on minor family problems to an impromptu work event, there’s always room for a little kindness when it comes to letdowns.
2. Say you’re sick
This seems to be the go-to, classic way to get out of a date. Rachel Petty, a senior at James Madison University, says, “It always works to say you aren't feeling well or came down with something. No one wants to risk getting sick!” This can be true for many people — nobody has time for a cold.
But on the other hand, Barrie believes this particular lie can backfire if you truly don’t wish to date this person at all. She explains, "Don't tell a fleeting lie, like 'I'm sick.' If they like you they will try and reschedule with you.” So, if you’re feeling desperate and need to get out of a date ASAP, saying something like you’re sick (maybe even providing gross details) is a good way to shut down a situation, no questions asked. But if you really want to end this possible relationship, and not see this person again, you’ll need to be more honest with your reasoning.
3. Tell them you’re focusing on yourself right now
This is better than “I’m sick” if you’re trying to end all ties completely. Barrie suggests saying something like, “I'm actually not in a place to date, right now. I thought I would be honest with you. I'm focusing my energy on cultivating a healthier relationship [with] MYSELF." Preach! We are all about self-love and inner happiness. After all, there’s nothing better than loving yourself first and then entering a relationship.
If you’ve already been on a date with this same person, however, it can be a tad trickier. This is where you can try saying, “I thought I was ready to date, and I enjoyed our time together, but I’ve realized I’m truly not there yet and I don’t want to waste your time.” This is more upfront, which is good, and it alludes to the fact that you need to spend more time alone.
4. Say you’re still not over your ex
Similar to not being ready to date, you can blame your sudden lack of interest on your feelings for your ex that haven’t quite faded away. Barrie recommends saying, "I think you're an amazing person, but I'm still a bit hung up on my ex, and I don't think it's fair to you," which is very true. Being upfront now will save both of you a lot of disappointment down the road. It can be difficult to compete with an ex sometimes, especially if you’re still not over them, so why drag someone else into your unfinished business?
5. Just be direct
Of course, there’s always the option of true honesty. Olivia Hennedy, a senior at Bishop's University, shares her thoughts: “It’s always difficult to let someone know that you aren’t feeling the same way about them as they are about you,” she says. “But at the end of the day, it’s always best to be honest with yourself and them. It’s not fair to string someone along especially if you’re unsure about how you feel.” We couldn’t agree more. Letting someone down doesn’t have to be harsh, but it’s better to be upfront than give them false hope.
We hope you ladies find an SO worthy of you and all you have to offer. In the meantime, keep putting yourselves out there and enjoying your time alone. Dating can be fun if you give it a try, just be sure to stay safe and be courteous of other people’s feelings, which may include telling a white lie from time to time. Happy dating!