It’s no secret that scouring vintage in-store or online is every fashion girl’s go-to way to pick up standout, one-of-a-kind pieces that make any outfit look extra fab—but what about the shopping strategies that help you find those super-cool vintage pieces in the first place? We got the inside scoop from Shareen Mitchell, owner of the NYC and LA vintage boutique Shareen, about the secrets to vintage shopping like a pro.

Look for the classics

When it comes to vintage shopping, it can be difficult to determine which pieces to buy vintage, as opposed to which you should buy new. Should you stick to on-trend items, or go with the classics? What are good vintage investment pieces? Mitchell says it’s all about the classics.

“Anything that would be considered a classic, timeless piece like a blazer, a pea coat, a classic shaped dress—those you can buy vintage and they will look like the very best designs today,” Mitchell says.

There are certain items that never go out of style, and these classic pieces can easily be bought vintage because they translate seamlessly to today—and every girl needs some timeless basics in her closet. Buying classic pieces like an LBD, blazer or coat is also a foolproof way to avoid the “costume” look that some vintage pieces have.

Some eras work better than others

If you do want to buy a trendier item, paying attention to what era an item is from can make a world of difference when it comes to what works today, and what could end up looking costume-y. Mitchell says that certain eras are much more relevant to current trends than others.

“Things that were made from the '50s through the '70s or anything from the '90s translates best to today,” Mitchell explains.

With the exception of the intricately beaded dresses from the 1920’s, it is generally much more difficult to make anything from the 1940’s or earlier look relevant to today. Likewise, Mitchell advises that anything from the 1980’s doesn’t translate well to current trends. What does work? We love mod 1960’s dresses, classic coats and blazers from the 1970’s, and 1990’s grunge-inspired pieces, which are super on-trend right now!

Shopping online? Measure, measure, measure.

Prefer vintage shopping from the comfort of being curled up in bed with your laptop? Mitchell advises that you get familiar with your waist measurements.

“I think fit issues are really the biggest issue in regards to vintage shoppers online,” she says. “It’s really important to learn how to measure your waist; unless it’s jersey or polyester, vintage sizing is related to the waistline.”

It’s a great idea to take a quick second to break out that tape measure, collegiettes! When measuring your waist, measure at the narrowest part of your body, below your ribcage and above your belly button. Once you know your measurements, make sure to ask the seller for measurements before ordering something, so you know exactly what to expect when you pull on your new find for the first time!

DIY is your BFF

When it comes to the dressing room, never rule anything out just because you don’t love it at first sight—small details can easily be changed with a little DIY! Mitchell says that the craftier you are, the better when it comes to vintage shopping—even if it’s something as simple as cutting the dress to shorten it.

“Most vintage dresses are too long; you’re not going to want to wear them past your knee,” Mitchell says. “If you take a sixties dress and cut it short, you’re going to love wearing it with a pair of boots, and it will look modern.”

Other ways you can DIY your vintage finds? Mitchell also suggests cutting the sleeves off a fur jacket to turn it into a vest, since the fur hides edges of the vest if they aren’t sewn.

Keep current trends in mind

It seems counterintuitive, but paying attention to current trends can help you make better purchases when vintage shopping. That way, what you do buy blends seamlessly with the rest of your wardrobe, and you avoid pieces that may look too much like a costume.

“I think the most important thing is to look for something that’s relatable; something that doesn’t make you look like you’re in a movie based in the 1960’s,” Mitchell says. “If you’re more educated about what’s on trend, the better of a vintage shopper you are.”

Next time you head out vintage shopping, try bringing along some of your favorite runway looks. The cool rocker vibe of the S/S 2015 Saint Laurent collection? It’s easy to achieve that look with some 1970’s pieces like a vintage leather jacket or a flowy boho dress!

Vintage shopping is a great way to add unique and one-of-a-kind pieces to your wardrobe, collegiettes! Do you have any favorite vintage finds in your closet?

Turning 25 seems like the time when we’re supposed to have our lives together. We should be semi-established and debt-free, and, most importantly, we should know what we want to do with the rest of our lives—right?

The reality is that a lot of us are still figuring it all out. We might have landed an awesome job, finally met the perfect plus one or moved to a new city, but inside, we’re freaking out. Am I making enough money? Is this the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with? Is this the career path I really want to be on?

RELAX! You survived the crazy and exciting world that is college, so you should be able to handle anything. But you’ve still got some learning to do. A lot of things that are perfectly acceptable (and expected) in college are not well received in the real world, especially when you’re about to turn 25. Read on to learn 15 things you should know how to do before you turn 25.

1. Make a meal that is (almost) as good as your mother’s cooking

You’re not always going to have your mom around to cook you her famous lasagna or melt-in-your-mouth chocolate-chip cookies. In college, you might have survived on microwaveable meals and grilled cheese, but it’s time to actually start cooking (and not just Pinning) those recipes.

If you’re not ready to graduate from mac and cheese, though, there are ways to transition from college staples to real world meals. You might be surprised to find how easy—and inexpensive!—home-cooked meals are. Go grocery shopping and pick out your favorite fresh ingredients, and then have some fun in the kitchen. Open up a bottle of wine, turn on some tunes and let the cooking begin.

2. Host a (classy) party

You’re at the age where you should be hosting classy cocktail parties instead of throwing ragers. You don’t have to entertain guests all the time, but you will want to have party-throwing skills up your sleeve—like knowing how to cook the perfect small bites, inventing a fun signature drink and using just the right amount of decorations to go with your theme. Try sending out actual invitations in the mail instead of creating a Facebook invite that will probably end up being deleted. And remember that a good hostess does more than just ensure that bar is well stocked.

“Make sure you have a clean house and enough toilet paper for everyone,” says Jilian O’Neill, a Ph.D. student at the University of Alabama. “I’ve been to house parties before with dirty kitchens, and I didn’t want to eat anything. In college it’s different because nobody cares.”

3. Drink responsibly

No more shots. No more binge drinking. No more hangovers. Yes, you can have a drink at happy hour and indulge a little during special occasions, but you shouldn’t be drinking on a Monday night just because you’re bored, and you definitely shouldn’t be waking up not remembering a thing about the night before. It’s important to know your limits, especially when alcohol is at work environments, like an office party or work dinner—you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of coworkers or clients.

4. Distinguish between a casual fling and the real thing

You’re done meeting loser after loser and mistaking Mr. Wrong for Mr. Right. You’re older and wiser now, and you should know that just because he’s buying you a drink at the bar doesn’t mean he wants to date you. By 25, you should know if he’s going to stick around the next day and actually call when he says he will, or if he’s just a one-night stand kind of guy—whether you met him at a bar or on Tinder.

Pay attention to the way he treats you when you’re around his friends. A good guy won’t change how he acts toward you when other people are around. Does he make time in his schedule just so he can see you? Does he remember the little details? Does he show extra support when you’re having a bad day? These are just a few signs that this guy is a keeper.

5. Be a great bridesmaid

Your friends will start getting married soon (if they haven’t already), so you should be ready to stand beside them when they say, “I do.” Being a bridesmaid is a lot of fun, but it also requires some work and money, so make sure you are ready to commit. If you haven’t had the honor of standing up in a wedding before, ask a friend who has for advice before the big day.

“A great bridesmaid is someone who is willing to handle a wedding task (such as organizing a guest book) without asking questions, because the bride is too stressed to function,” says Jilian, who got married recently.

Be prepared to do everything: helping her say yes to the dress, planning the bachelorette party, recording gifts at the bridal party and, if you’re the maid of honor, giving a speech. “A great bridesmaid handles wedding-day problems without alerting or worrying the bride,” says Karli Burnett, who graduated from the University of Michigan in 2011. Make sure you’re willing to do whatever the bride asks—even if she’s being a little bit of a Bridezilla.

6. Ask for a raise

Negotiating your salary is easier said than done, but if you deserve higher pay for what you’re doing—whether you’re asking for a raise or you’re negotiating for more money when you’ve been offered a job—it’s important to know how to have that conversation. You should be able to show your boss or the HR representative all the positive contributions you have made or are capable of making for the company as well as other concrete reasons why you deserve to be making more. Be sure to keep track of any your milestones and accomplishments at work so you have specific examples to offer when meeting with your boss.

7. Set up your own health insurance

Up until now, you’ve probably been on your parents’ insurance plan. All you needed was a little card with your insurance information on it, and the rest was taken care of for you. Twenty-five is the last year you’ll be able to mooch off of your parents when it comes to health insurance, so make sure you do some research and find an insurance plan that works best for you, whether you use the insurance plan your company offers or find one on your own.

8. Write a check

In today’s digital world, it might seem like writing checks is a thing of the past, but there will be times when you need to write one: when paying rent, putting down a deposit on a new apartment or paying back your roommate for last month’s utilities. If you’re 25 years old and still mixing up what goes on which line, well, you’ll want to figure that out!

9. Save your money

No more impulse buys or overspending on things you don’t need. Start keeping track of your money and limit unnecessary spending. Download an iPhone app such as Mint, sit down with a rep at your bank, save your receipts and avoid putting more on your credit card than you have in cash. You can no longer list “Mom and Dad” as a source of income anymore (except for in emergencies... right?!), so setting yourself up to be in a good financial situation now and in the future will go a long way.  

10. Travel alone

You will have to travel alone sooner or later, whether it’s for work or for fun. Learn how to pack light with just the essentials. Get to the airport ahead of time—no more last-minute races through security! Try new foods, explore town on your own, wander into a coffee shop or hang out with the locals.

“Go out to dinner alone—it’s very empowering, and you get to take in everything around you without really entertaining someone,” says Erika Dolowiec, a medical student at Lake Erie College of Osteopathic Medicine. Before you travel alone, make sure you tell a trusted friend or family member where you’re going and check in with him or her occasionally so he or she konws you’re okay.

11. Avoid hitting snooze

You don’t want to be late for an important meeting or sleep in until noon on the weekends, so resist the urge to press snooze five times in a row. Even if you aren’t a morning person, you should reset those circadian rhythms and learn to wake up at a decent time. Go to bed around the same time every night (even on the weekends) so your body gets on a regular schedule. If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night tossing and turning with a million things on your mind, try lying still and focusing on your breathing. If this doesn’t help, read a book to help you fall back asleep. Waking up early (or at least on time) will pay off—you’ll have time for breakfast and you won’t be rushing around the house looking for your lip gloss or driving like a maniac so you can make it to work on time.

12. Go house hunting

We’re not telling you to go out right now and buy a house, but we are telling you to start learning the basics of house hunting (or apartment hunting). You may have been living with roommates for the past few years, which isn’t a huge transition from what you were used to in college, but finding a place to call your own—not surrounded by a bunch of other people in their 20s—might feel weird at first. But one of these days you’ll need to move out of that comfort zone (literally), so you should be prepared when it actually happens.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself when looking for a new place to live: Are utilities included?Is there a garage?How long will my commute to work be?Do they allow pets? Just watch an episode of House Hunters, and soon you will be throwing out phrases like “crown molding” and “open-concept floor plan” like a pro.

13. Do your own laundry

We tell you this before you head off to college, but on campus, you can get away with signing up for laundry service or waiting until break to bring your dirty clothes home. Perhaps you’ve even gotten away with getting wash and fold over the past few years, especially if you live in a big city where you don’t have a washer and dryer in your unit (in other words, the best excuse for not having to do your own laundry!). By now, though, you should definitely know the basics—like separating lights from darks, knowing what fabrics should be washed in cold versus warm water and even how to hand wash delicates without ruining your new, expensive goods (because your real-life wardrobe is going to be worth a lot more than your college clothes). You’ll want to invest in an iron and even a small steamer, too—those button-downs you wear to work every day aren’t going to iron themselves. It’s important to look put together in the real world, so you need to know how to take care of your clothes properly.

14. Stitch a button

Sewing may seem old-fashioned, but it’s a great skill to have. There will be times when your boyfriend will find a hole in his pants or a button will be missing from your favorite blazer the night before an important work meeting. Whether you choose to use a sewing machine or just a needle and thread, you should be able to handle a minor sewing project without having to go to the tailor.

15. Conquer your fears

You can’t spend your life being afraid of everything. It’s time to be brave and challenge yourself by tackling a new fear each day, whether it’s facing your fear of heights, taking the initiative and going for a promotion at work or even taking the first step in starting your own business. Once you’ve overcome one fear, you’ll have an easier time tackling the rest, and being able to see that you’ve accomplished things you never thought possible gives you even more room to grow.

Real life may feel just as new as freshman year did when you were starting college, but it’s no excuse to act like a first-year collegiette! Now is the time to take on more responsibilities, accomplish your goals, speak up for what you deserve and become more self-sufficient. But remember: You might think you’re old by the time you’re 25, but you still have so many more milestones to reach, so we’ll forgive you if you do hit snooze one too many times or still resort to Ramen on some days.

Two years ago, in August, 2013, I left my home, my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my job and my comfort zone to join the Peace Corps. Along with 60 other aspiring Americans of all shapes and sizes, I boarded a plane for Botswana. I was excited, eager, anxious, sad and terrified all at the same time, but I was ready to go. I had dreamed of being a Peace Corps Volunteer since I was 10 years old. At 10 I decided that once I graduated from University, I would join the Peace Corps right away. In a sense, even as a kid, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to help people. So little over a decade later, I submitted my application. 

The premise of the Peace Corps is to send skilled American volunteers to countries in need around the world while also encouraging cross-cultural exchanges between Americans and host country nationals. As Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) we willingly leave our cozy and safe lives to go work and live in a strange country under potentially harsh conditions for 27 months. Also, as our title suggests, we're VOLUNTEERS – so we don't get paid. Joining the Peace Corps is often catagorized as "the toughest job you'll ever love," and that description is right on the money. It's tough, but I love it.  

For my service, I got assigned to Botswana as a Youth and HIV/AIDS Capacity Building Volunteer. Botswana is a small, rural, desert country in Southern Africa with a population of about two million people and is plagued with one of the highest HIV/AIDS rates in the world. Back in 2013, the count was 25 percent—one in four people had the virus. The damage? Catastrophic. 

The first step I took in my service was training. I took a three-month crash course on everything I would need to know to survive my time in Botswana. In those three months, I learned A LOT but none of it came even close to what I would learn on my own over the next two years. 

After completing my training, I swore in as an official Peace Corps volunteer and headed out to my new home, a very small village called Dutlwe. Population – 800. In Dutlwe, we have half a paved road, livestock roaming free everywhere, one elementary school, a lot of sand... and that's about it. The nearest grocery store is two hours away. The nearest clinic is an hour away. The most common mode of transportation is a donkey cart. I love it. It's home!  Over the course of my service, I've learned how to adapt to lots of things. I've learned how to live without water or electricity. I've learned how to kill and skin an animal for meat. I’ve learned a new language. I've learned how to be very creative in a variety of different situations… and the list goes on. What I couldn't get used to however was the unbalanced gender roles. 

In Botswana, it often seems like the gender roles are set in stone. Men tend to the livestock and crops, while women take care of the home and children. Who deserves more respect? Men. Who matters more? Men. And what's the bonus? OLD men. The elders. They reign supreme. As a PCV, I'm supposed to be patient, understanding and respectful of my new culture but as a tall, strong, independent, young woman, this was not easy for me. As a woman in Botswana, I always had to put men first. I had to serve men their food first. I had to sit on the floor so that men could take the chairs. I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. I could only wear skirts or dresses as a symbol of my femininity and I was nothing without a man in my life. These blatent examples of gender inequality coupled with the constant cat calls and sexual harrassment were a challenge for me, but what I found even harder was seeing the real life realities of what young Batswana girls have to face. As a PCV, I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me. At the end of 27 months, I could leave. Unfortunately, this is not the case for Batswana women. This is their home and their culture and there’s no escape plan for them. 

These troubling facts led me to undertake one of my favorite projects: a GLOW camp. GLOW stands for Girls Leading Our World. These camps focus on leadership, self-esteem, decision making, goal setting, HIV/AIDS education and much more. They are an excellent way to remove some at-risk kids from their daily struggles and introduce them to a positive, fun and interactive learning environment. At GLOW, the girls learn how special they are, how talented they are, how they matter and how they have the strength to take control of their own bodies and their own lives. Even though these concepts might seem like common knowledge to us Americans, they are practically unheard of to Batswana girls. It really shocked me at first, but after thinking about it and comparing my upbringing to theirs, it makes sense! As a kid, I grew up playing outside, learning from great teachers at awesome schools, eating yummy food, getting tons of hugs and kisses from my parents, eating cake and opening presents on my birthday and constantly updating what I wanted to be when I grew up. These girls have none of that. Playtime is limited when you have to take care of your family by yourself. Getting a good education is hard when the quality of schools is so low or if there’s not even a school in your village. Relying on crops in a desert environment with no stable income makes food in general hard to come by. Absent, deceased or negligent parents removes the entire idea of real familial love. Not knowing your own birthday means no cake or presents and all of this and more means never thinking of the future as more than tomorrow. Factoring in these living conditions, I was not at all surprised that most girls have low self-esteem or negative outlooks for the future. It broke my heart. Enter – GLOW Camp.  

For my first GLOW Camp, I partnered with several other PCVs in my area and we brought together a collection of about 50 young girls from our respective village schools to the village of Takatokwane for their first trip away from home. During the camp, even though it was my goal to teach these girls how to be independent, safe, healthy, goal-oriented and happy, I ended up learning a lot about myself too. You know that phrase, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" That's what it felt like to work with these girls. Seeing how neglected they've been, how starved for love they are, how disrespected they've been, how little confidence they had in themselves and how strained their futures seemed, made me truly appreciate my life. Until I came to Botswana, I never really valued having two loving parents. I never appreciated my access to opportunities for a positive future. I never thought about what having access to good doctors and food meant and I never second guessed my own strength, independence, confidence or self-esteem. 

At the beginning of the GLOW Camp, the girls didn't know how to set a goal for themselves. They didn't know what self-esteem was. They didn't know about their own power and strength of being women and they didn't know their own potential. After only a week of working with them, I felt so proud to see all of those things change. The girls were smiling, making friends, playing sports, talking about their futures, commenting on how beautiful they were and standing up just a little bit taller. 

For a number of reasons, my time as a Peace Corps Volunteer has been rough. There have been a lot of ups and downs but through it all, I wouldn't trade my time in Botswana for anything. In two years, separated from everyone and everything I held dear and abruptly confronted with more challenges and hardship than I could have imagined, I learned more about myself and the strength of others than I could ever have hoped for. If an HIV-positive 12 year old orphan girl in charge of her three younger siblings can smile and sing her heart out at a GLOW Camp talent show, then anything is possible. No matter where you're from, or what you've been through, everyone deserves love and happiness and if you believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything. We are women, hear us ROAR!

When she’s not touring the world as one of the world’s most well-known and talented pop artists, Lady Gaga devotes herself to supporting youth struggling with identity, sexuality, and mental health (among other issues) through the Born This Way Foundation, which she founded in 2011. In a new interview with Billboard magazine, Gaga opened up about her reasons for wanting to help others, as well as her own struggle with depression and anxiety.

Her latest single, “Til It Happens to You,” is inspired by her own experience of being sexually assaulted at age 19. “We don’t have to be victims,” Gaga noted of the song’s message. “If we share our stories and stick together, we’re stronger.”

“This foundation was born from the years I spent watching my fans grow up. Many of them were really young: 11- to 17-year-olds in very tumultuous times,” said Gaga, when asked about the inspiration behind starting Born This Way. “As I began to care for them and to see myself in them, I felt I had to do something that would remind kids they’re not alone. When they feel isolated, that’s when it leads to suicide.” She recalled the story of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old fan and activist who committed suicide in 2011 after being bullied for his sexuality.

When she travels with the Born Brave Bus, which sometimes accompanies her on tours and is a resource for fans struggling with different issues, Gaga meets and connects with her fans. Talking about an encounter with a girl named Emma who suffers from cerebral palsy, she told the publication, “She was in her chair, kind of hunched over, but still with this very brave smile on her face. I swore I was in the presence of maybe one of the greatest people. Moments like that make you go, “Everyone should learn from this person -- this person knows what it means to self-empower through adversity, this person knows what it means to be strong when you're not.”

Gaga connects with others so deeply in this regard because of her own struggles with mental health. She brought up the problems that technology causes, in that it cripples us and makes it harder for us to connect with one another. “These kids just want to feel human, but they feel like robots,” she said. “They don’t understand why they’re so sad. There are scientific reasons, which the foundation researches, why you feel sad when you look at your phone all day.”

“I’ve suffered through depression and anxiety my entire life, I still suffer with it every single day,” she added. “I just want these kids to know that that depth that they feel as human beings is normal. We were born that way. This modern thing, where everyone is feeling shallow and less connected? That's not human.” When we see someone as popular and successful as Lady Gaga open up about her own struggles, it helps us to see that our own feelings are valid as well—and that’s why we love her so much!

The shock of finding out that your friend is in an abusive relationship might make you feel incapable of giving her the support she needs. Thankfully, there are many resources to help both you and your friend get through this. We asked experts for the telling signs that you should be worried about your friend’s relationship as well as the steps you should take if her SO’s behavior is unacceptable.

How to tell if your friend’s relationship is abusive

There are many signs that could tip you off that your friend’s relationship is abnormal and harmful. Jessica Ladd-Webert, LPC, director of the Office of Victim Assistance at the University of Colorado Boulder, lists some of the signs of an abusive relationship:

• Your friend’s partner constantly puts her down.
• Your friend gives up on things that are important to her because of her relationship, such as school, family, friends or hobbies.
• Her partner gets overly angry and has unpredictable mood swings.
• Your friend is embarrassed by her partner’s behavior towards her.
• Her partner makes all the decisions in their relationship and is overly controlling.
• Her partner reads your friend’s messages and calls her very frequently to check up on her.
• Your friend’s SO manipulates her with guilt, insults and/or threats.
• Her SO threatens to harm her, him/herself and/or others.
• Her partner destroys your friend’s property.
• Her partner threatens or harms her pets.
• Her partner harms your friend physically, by pushing, shoving, slapping or hitting her.
• Her partner forces her into unwanted sexual activity.

If you notice any of these signs, you should talk to your friend. Then, you two can work through it together.

Rebecca*, a senior collegiette, saw some of these signs. “My friend Kira* went to school a little ways away from me, so I never even met the guy,” Rebecca says. “All I knew for sure was that he was into some pretty scary drugs and … had a lot of anger management issues, and she saw the brunt of that.”

How to approach her if she hasn’t told you

Even if you have noticed that your friend’s relationship is harming her, it’s possible that she is either denying it or hasn’t realized it herself. The right thing to do is to “express concern and empower your friend to make her own decisions,” advises Denisha A. Champion, a counselor at the Wake Forest University Counseling Center. “A person may not realize that they are being abused, may feel very in love with their abuser or feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about what is happening for fear that they are just imagining it.”

This was – and still is – the case for a friend of Ashley*, a sophomore collegiette. “[My friend’s boyfriend] was very insecure, jealous and did not trust my friend at all,” Ashley says. Her friend spent most of her year in her dorm talking to her boyfriend, did not meet anyone new and always defended her partner when Ashley and her other friends tried to warn her about him.

In order to help your friend realize what’s happening, you have to reassure her that you are on her side. Tell her that you’re worried about her and that she deserves better treatment. “Be specific,” Ladd-Webert says. “Avoid putting down her partner’s whole personality. Say, ‘When so-and-so insults you in front of us, I get worried,’” for example.

Don’t make any accusations, and don’t act like you know exactly what the situation is like. Instead, make sure to listen, because “your friend may be confused about her relationship,” Ladd-Webert says. “Use 'I' statements and avoid telling her what to do; make observations about what you are seeing and hearing.”

You should find out the resources that are available to your friend and suggest them to her, but, most importantly, you should “avoid taking control of the situation,” Ladd-Webert says. “Talk with a confidential counselor or advocate who understands the dynamics of intimate partner abuse.”

Finally, don’t forget about your own well-being, because “it can be very hard to see someone you care about in this kind of relationship, especially if they go back and forth a lot,” Ladd-Webert says. Use your school’s counseling center for advice for what you should do for your friend, but also to helpyou stay strong in this difficult situation.

How to react if your friend tells you about her abusive relationship

The best thing to do if your friend comes to you for help is to “listen actively and be supportive,” says Abbey L. Carter Logan, a clinical counselor at the Ohio State University Counseling and Consultation Service. “Take a non-judgmental attitude and just let your friend talk to you so she knows that she can trust you. Let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk or if she feels unsafe.”

Additionally, and although this might seem intuitive, you should always make a point to believe your friend, “even if you personally know the partner and are shocked to learn that [he or she] might be engaging in abusive behaviors,” Champion says.

Your friend is much more likely to downplay the abuse she is experiencing than she is to make it up. “[Kira] told me that her boyfriend would go into a fit of rage, but she always insisted that it was because he cared about her,” Rebecca. “She never eluded to the fact that he would hit her.”

You have legitimate reasons to be angry with your friend’s partner, especially if you knew and trusted him or her, but “do not try to take on the abusive partner yourself or try to get between [your friend and her SO],” Carter Logan advises. “This has the potential to isolate your friend further and will make it more difficult for her to talk with you in the future.”

Finally, encourage your friend to seek out support, and make sure she knows the resources that are available to help her on and off campus. Check out the next section to find out where to go.

Which resources should you and your friend turn to?

You and anyone else your friend has confided in are her first resources; don’t underestimate how much you can do for her. Even if she refuses to go to counseling at first, your ongoing support and understanding could eventually change her mind. “If informal support, like friends and family, respond in a positive, supportive way, this will increase the likelihood that the person in the abusive relationship will seek formal support,” Ladd-Webert explains.

After the summer when Kira reported her boyfriend's abusive behavior to Rebecca, both girls went back to their respective schools. “All I felt I could do was insist that she break up with him and report his behavior with the school,” Rebecca says. After many arguments between the two friends, Kira finally broke things off with her abusive partner and obtained a school-issued restraining order against him. When you seek formal support for you and your friend, a counselor might suggest you do the same and help you with the process.

Formal support refers to “a confidential advocate or counselor who is knowledgeable about the cycle of violence and abuse,” Ladd-Webert says. Thankfully, there are many such services on college campuses. Research your school’s counseling services and find out how to set up an appointment for you, your friend, or both of you. This is usually done over the phone so that you can answer a few questions before the appointment.

With that in mind, don't make an appointment for your friend without consulting her first. Many schools' counseling centers won't let you set up a session for someone else, but even if yours does, you should “avoid taking control or telling your friend in the abusive relationship what to do,” Ladd-Webert says. “She is already dealing with this in her relationship.”

Both the National Domestic Violence Hotline and The Red Flag Campaign are comprehensive websites on which you will find information about abusive relationships, a list of local counseling services and numbers to call in order to get help for you and your friend.

Depending on the seriousness of your friend’s situation, domestic violence professionals will either help her get out of her relationship or direct her to police in cases where there were threats or physical abuse.

Having a friend in an abusive relationship is a horrible situation to be in, and it’s the kind of thing we think only happens to others. Unfortunately, abuse on college campuses is common. According to the Counseling & Testing Center at the University of Oregon, 57 percent of reported abusive relationships happened in college. This is why it’s essential that you know which resources to turn to if you find yourself having to help a friend.

The good news is that your friendly support is one of the best resources for her to begin separating herself from her abusive partner. You should empower your friend, let her know that what’s happening is not her fault and encourage her to seek out professional help. You are strong and so is she; neither of you should ever forget that.

*Names have been changed.

If you love Sex and the City or strive to be a columnist living in New York City one day, Carrie Bradshaw is likely your spirit animal. With so many epic moments, we often find ourselves wishing we could be friends with her. Below are 17 times Carrie was our soulmate.

1. When she lands Mr. Big

2. When she wakes up in Sam’s gross apartment

3. When she gets $1,000 after a one-night stand

4. When she farts in Mr. Big’s bed

5. When she stands up for herself against Big

6. When she gets back with Big

7. When she purposefully leaves personal items at Big’s apartment

8. When she skips the gym

9. When she gets her heart broken

10. When she meets Matthew McConaughey

11. When she tells it like it is

12. When she dances like nobody's watching

13. When she knows shopping is more important than cooking

14. When she writes her column in her pajamas

15. When she orders a Cosmopolitan

16. When she eats leftover Chinese

17. When she looks effortlessly flawless

Which Carrie Bradshaw moment is your favorite, collegiettes?

Whoever said senior year of college was laid-back must’ve been hitting the PSLs a little too hard, because your schedule is the opposite of laid-back. Between writing your senior thesis or completing your senior project, working at your part-time job, applying to grad school, studying for standardized tests, participating in extracurriculars and trying to spend quality time with your friends, family and SO before you enter the real world, you’re living the lives of two people, not one.

Basically, instead of senioritis, you’re infected with the equally potent do-it-all-itis. However, while you may think you can balance quantity and quality, pushing yourself too hard will eventually lead to burnout. Here’s how to reevaluate your priorities so that you can be focused on what’s really important—and, you know, stop every once in a while to breathe.

1. Recognize that you’re doing too much

First, it’s important to recognize that you are trying to do too much. Some common signs:

1. You’re always daydreaming about just one night of good night sleep (Eight hours? What’s that?).
2. Your resting heart rate is about as high as Mount Kilimanjaro.
3. You rely on an extremely complex system of planners, to-do lists, Post-it notes, apps and iPhone reminders to keep everything under control.
4. Thoughts of the weekend are the only things keeping you going.
5. You’re constantly anxious, and your friends know that if they want to hang out with you, they have to secure a time slot at least two weeks beforehand—and you reserve the right to cancel 24 hours in advance.

Do any of these sound familiar? A little bit of stress is normal, especially as you prepare to graduate. But if you’re spending the majority of your time feeling panicky or overwhelmed, that’s definitely not normal. While the local coffee shops may benefit from your hectic schedule, it’s important for your health and happiness that you cut down.

“We live in such a fast-paced culture with such high expectations that it’s no wonder so many people are struggling to find balance,” says Andrea Wachter, a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience.

Your sanity is more important than your resume or GPA—but while you may cringe at the idea of doing less, Wachter says it’s okay to start small.

“Finding balance is an art,” she says. “The good news is that we don’t have to do it perfectly, and a little change can make a big difference.”

2. Write everything down

With your jam-packed days, time is as precious as Louboutin stilettos, so we’re guessing you haven’t taken any time to sit down and lay out all of your obligations. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and list absolutely every recurring obligation or activity in your life.

If you try to see your SO at least four days a week, write that down. If you go on a 45-minute run every morning, write that down. And, of course, include the standard stuff like going to class, studying, working a part-time job or internship and so forth. You should also jot down how many hours or minutes each activity takes.

“I often ask my clients in my therapy practice to take a realistic look at their schedules and see what can be deleted, shortened or shifted,” Wachter says. “They laugh at the irony of them having to find the time to even look!”

Once you have a visual representation of all the things you’re currently juggling, it’ll be much easier to see what’s taking the biggest drain on your time and energy. Then you’ll be ready for step number three.

3. Prioritize

Now it’s time to figure out which items on your list are non-negotiables. In other words, it doesn’t matter whether you want to do them or not: They have to happen. If you’re applying to graduate school, you have to spend a certain number of hours per week working on your applications and studying for the entrance exams. If you’re writing a thesis, you have to set aside space for doing research and working on the draft. Organize your list of obligations in order of importance, with non-negotiables at the top, important-but-not-essential things next, “extra” activities after that and finally, all of the ways you spend your time that aren’t necessary but keep you sane.

For example, a sample list could look like:

• Going to class
• Studying
• Searching for a full-time job
• Participating in my honors fraternity
• Being an active member of French club
• Volunteering
• Taking spin class
• Hanging out with friends
• Going out on Fridays

You can also try making a list of your goals for the next month, semester and year. Maybe you want to graduate with a 3.5 GPA and then travel for a little bit before finding a job. Or maybe you want to secure a position before you graduate. Or maybe you want to network like crazy while you can still pull the “student card.” Whatever you’re hoping to accomplish, putting it into concrete terms will help you track of which of your current obligations are helping you toward those goals—and which are subsidiary.

4. Reduce

Now it’s time to take your list of obligations and see what you can drop. If even the idea of reducing your workload freaks you out, imagine you’re helping a friend figure out a saner schedule as opposed to yourself.

“So many people are really hard on themselves and so compassionate and kind to others. Learn to get off your back and get on your own side,” Wachter says. “You should be motivated by kindness and passion and health rather than an internal whip.”

Although it’s difficult to drop activities that you’ve already started, also keep in mind the choice between quantity and quality. You can either do a billion things somewhat decently or a couple of things really well. In other words, you’re not quitting—you’re choosing the best way to invest your energy and time. Your first priority should be your mental health and your happiness. If it’s impossible for you to stay healthy and happy with your current schedule, you don’t just want a change, you need one.

When trying to decide what to cut, Wachter recommends distinguishing what you feel like you should do versus what you want to do. For example, do you want to be secretary of the marketing club—or do you feel like you should be because no one else will give the role as much attention? Do you want to run a half marathon with your SO, or do you feel like you should because he’s always talking about how cool it would be? If your primary reason for doing something is because someone else wants you to, that’s not necessarily a valid reason to continue.

This is also a great time to go back and compare your priorities with your short-term and long-term goals. Make sure your obligations are helping you make progress towards those goals!

5. De-stress

Now that you’ve simplified your obligations down to the most important ones, it’s important that you treat yourself to a little R&R.

Working out, meditating or doing yoga can do wonders for your stress level. However, if you’re already super busy, they can start to feel like yet another drain on your time. Wachter offers a couple of ideas for how to be more Zen that aren’t time-consuming.

“Bring yourself back to reality. Practice feeling the surface underneath you, noticing your breath, noticing the sounds you hear and what you see,” she says. “There are [also] infinite YouTube podcasts people can download on mindfulness meditation. So if you find yourself struggling to quiet your mind, you might turn on one of those for a few minutes.”

If you have 15 minutes, you can try this stress-relieving guided mediation; if you only have five,check out this shorter video.

Other quick and dirty ways to relax? Try taking a short deep-breathing break, watching a stand-up comedy show on Netflix, making a cup of green tea or taking a whiff of lavender or tea tree oil.

After making your schedule more manageable and showing yourself some love, you should be in a pretty good place. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be immune to the stresses of the upcoming years, so make sure to periodically check in on yourself and make sure you’re not falling back into the overdoing-it trap. Graduating from college will bring some huge life changes and new experiences; make sure you’re not too busy to enjoy them!

The lesson here is don’t call 911 pretending to be Olivia Pope. [The Smoking Gun]

What would happen if college tuition became free? [Quartz]

Texts you send your parents once you move out. [Grown & Flown]

Is ‘Netflix and Chill’ actually a good date? [Maxim]

The untold story of the Ermahgerd Girl. [Vanity Fair]

How ‘Harry Potter’ helped one fangirl. [Fusion]

Would you want to live in a hotel instead of a dorm? [The New York Times]

Amy Schumer says being in love in your 20s is stupid. [Jezebel]

YouTube stars who are millionaires. [Newser]

These pumpkin spice cookie butter waffles sound insanely delicious. [Spoon University]

After 22 cycles over 12 years, America's Next Top Model is, sadly, coming to an end. We are definitely going to miss all the crazy, all the drama, all the makeovers and all the Tyra! This show has definitely taught us some important life lessons—like how to smize and always being proud of ourselves! And we also learned that Tyra knows best, especially when it comes to makeovers. She may have made some questionable choices (such as the lace front beard!) but usually, she is totally on point. To celebrate the past cycles, we've compiled the best of the Ty-overs!

Cycle 16: Brittani

Brittani was already so stunning, but the bob made it look as if she'd just come back from ruling the world.

Cycle 10: Whitney

Whitney was the first "plus-size" model to win a cycle of ANTM. Her original look makes her look way older than she really is, but when she went blonde, she turned into a vixen!

Cycle 2: Yoanna

Can we just take a minute to obsess over her short hair and how it brought out her amazing cheekbones! Let us reiterate: Tyra knows best.

Cycle 3: Amanda

Usually, darker hair brings out lighter eyes, but not in Amanda's case. Her pale blonde hair makes her icy blue eyes pop even more.

Cycle 8: Jaslene

Sometimes more can be better! Adding fullness while also removing some length and going darker to a pure black color made everything about Jaslene just glow. The makeover was simple but the results were dramatic.

Cycle 12: Allison

Who can forget doe-eyed Allison? Tyra took her from Plain Jane to va-va-voom—and we have to say, those long luscious locks only help to direct attention to her eyes. 

Cycle 9: Jenna

This new look is absolutely stunning. The original color and length of her hair washed her out, but with a little help, Tyra was able to help Jenna look like she came straight out of a fairytale.

Cycle 6: Jade

Jade is just as beautiful with natural hair as she is with this super short cut, which helps to accentuate her features!

Now that the show's coming to a close, we're wondering if this means Tyra will have time for new ventures... might we suggest opening up her own salon? We'd like to sign up for a Ty-over ourselves.

This article has been syndicated to Her Campus from Flannel Foxes by Brittni Goshulak, a Her Campus Blogger Network member. Read the full post here.

When you have to spend an entire year in a tiny, white-walled room with few square feet to speak of, sometimes you need to find creative ways to brighten up your space. Many college dorms allow students to decorate their walls in whichever way they like (so long as they're returned to the condition you found them in before you move out!), making this DIY project—confetti walls!—the perfect way to give your room new life.

You'll need:

• Premium painter’s tape (I used Frog Tape)
• 3 colors of paint
• 2 different sizes of isosceles triangles cut out of cardboard
• String
• Pencil
• Paint brush

As soon as you are finished cutting the two sizes of isosceles triangles out of cardboard, take the bigger triangle, pick a spot in the middle of the wall and trace around it. Now take a piece of string, approximately 1 1/2 feet long, and attach it to the big triangle with tape. This will be used to space the bigger triangles out evenly on the wall. Remember this is supposed to look random, but still controlled, so visually the triangles look evenly spread out. Once you are done with tracing the bigger triangles, now place the smaller triangles evenly where there are spaces on the wall and trace.

Once you have all the triangles traced, you can now use the painter’s tape to tape over the lines and create your triangles. Make sure you press the tape down firmly to ensure crisp lines.

Paint your triangles. When thinking about what colors I wanted to use, I knew I wanted the bigger triangles to be a darker neutral colour. With the smaller triangles, I wanted two colors that would really pop and brighten up the wall. I decided on a charcoal grey for the bigger ones, and alternated between blue and red for the smaller ones.

Read the full post on Flannel Foxes.

So many of us grew up playing with dolls when we were little girls. But as we got older, we realized how unlike real women they actually are. With their heavy makeup and insane outfits, they represent a bizarre perception of what beauty is.

So we were beyond ecstatic when we discovered that artist Wendy Tsao is changing the conversation. Using Bratz dolls, a very popular brand with a innumerable design flaws that have long made women everywhere cringe, she removed their excessive amounts of makeup and changed their clothes, turning them into real-life feminist role models in the process.

Nobel Prize winner and education champion Malala Yousafzai, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling, model and social activist Waris Dirie, first Canadian female astronaut Roberta Bondar and animal rights warrior Jane Goodall are among the crop of strong females Tsao decided to honor with spot-on makeovers. And the results are perfection!

Tsao’s desire to participate in such a project began when she grasped just how much children identify with and find comfort in their toys. Rather than celebrating countless fictional characters, she felt that there were just as many, if not more, real women who deserved to have children look up to them. Hence, these inspiring role models were shrunk down to doll size, making young gals’ search for girl power a whole lot easier.

We couldn’t be more thrilled that Tsao created such meaningful works of art with an actual message behind them. Now, let’s get these ladies on the shelf and give our fellow girls real feminists to admire!

What other feminist icons would you like to see in doll form, collegiettes?

Get excited, collegiettes –– Kohl's just unveiled its new Madden Girl Collection, which features super trendy outerwear, cold weather boots and accessories to keep you warm this winter. No matter your age, the stylish cold weather line offers something for everybody! Check out our top ten picks below.

1. Flurryy Women's Duck Boots, $79.99

Adorably durable boots are a must-have in every collegiette's closet. Not a fan of the two-tone look? Don't worry, more color options are available here.

2. Quilted Puffer Jacket, $100

This big bold jacket will have you feeling warmer in an instant. With thumbholes and a removable fur-lined hood, you will surely stand out –– in the best way, of course!

3. Tribal Hooded Poncho, $78

A poncho with a hood and a zipper –– need we say more? There are few better ways to stay cozy and cute than this.

4. Crystal Women's Fold-Over Boots, $99.99

Thesefashion-forward boots will have you staying warm and stylish this year.

5. Faux Fur Jacket, $80

Rock this cream-colored coat on even the most casual occasions to steal the show this winter!

6. Women's Fingerless Gloves, $26

Fingerless gloves are just perfect. They provide all the warmth you could ask for, without losing control of your grip!

7. Chiill Women's Ankle Boots, $69.99

Don't miss a step in these comfy, cool ankle boots. From black and plaid, to brown and olive, there is a color to please everyone!

8. Reversible Faux-Sherpa Vest, $100

Vests are everything this season, so don't miss out on grabbing this reversible, quilted option before it's too late!

9. Fringed Boucle Blanket Wrap, $38

Staying warm and stylish has never been easier than with this scarf. Seriously, we want it in every color!

10. Tribal Pom-Pom Cable-Knit Beanie, $28

Beanies are already in style! The addition of a pom-pom, along with this aztec pattern will take you to the next level.

Check out the entire Madden Girl collection available at Kohl's and grab these hot finds before it's too late!

The average beauty junkie likely spends more time watching YouTube makeup tutorials than she watches shows on Netflix. And this is especially vital once Halloween starts approaching. Whether you have your Halloween costume already planned or not, these videos will definitely inspire. Even non-beauty junkies will find them mesmerizing!

1. Walking Snapchat story

We’ll already be sending hundreds of snaps this Halloween. We might as well become them too!

2. Barbie girl fail

Laughing plastic, it’s fantastic… or is it? Barbie seems perfect, but she is just a piece of plastic after all, and she’ll melt away if we aren’t careful with her.

3. Two is better than one!

Here’s a way to make everyone dizzy. One face is just way too boring for Halloween, two faces is the way to go!

4. Vamped out

Being a vampire may seem like a safe costume choice for Halloween, but there are so many ways to execute it. See how this girl updates the look!

5. Scary mermaid

Halloween is just around the corner, but whether you’ve picked out the perfect costume or are still desperately seeking the right disguise, you’re going to need an awesome makeup look to go with it. Whether you’re dressing up as a sexy cat or a scary zombie, we have the makeup look you’ll need to look awesome all night long.

1. Mischievous feline

If you’re dressing up as a mischievous cat for Halloween, this makeup look is simple and sexy. For an intense cat eye, apply smoky eye shadow and winged eyeliner (check out our tutorial here!). Marc Jacobs Beauty Tonite Lights Glitter Dust ($32) will create a smoky, sparkly look. Red lipstick can make the look even more stunning. Try NARS lipstick in Red Lizard ($26 at Sephora).

2. Playful angel

If you’re being a sweet angel for Halloween, you’re going to need some dainty makeup to go with it. Blue and white eye shadow can create a soft, powdery look, and adding on black eyeliner can make the look sexier if that’s what you’re going for. Estée Lauder Pure Color Gelée Power EyeShadow in Cyber Silver (metallic silver) ($24 at Macy's) will work perfectly. Add rhinestones to the corners of your eyes or underneath your eyes for a girly, glittery touch. A simple nude lipstick or clear lip gloss will do the trick for lips. Try Buxom True Nude Lip Foundation ($19 at Sephora) to find a nude that’s right for your skin.

3. Naughty devil

To achieve naughty devil makeup, metallic and red eye shadow will be your best friends! Cover your eyelid in red eye shadow and add darker, metallic colors (like black or gray) below your eyebrow. MAKE UP FOR EVER Artist Shadow in Black Diamond and Steel ($21 at Sephora) will be great for the metallic eye shadows, while NYX’s Bad Seed will give you a bold red ($4.50 at NYX). Black eyeliner and heavy mascara will enhance your eyes even more. Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes Eyeliner in Matte Black ($19 at Sephora) is a great liner to use because it’s waterproof and smudge-proof! Apply dark lipstick for an even naughtier look.

4. Scary zombie

If you’re going for a scarier look, try this zombie makeup! Apply a gray or black eye shadow to your entire eyelid and below your eye if you desire. Too Faced Smokey Eye Shadow Collection ($18) has the colors you’ll need. Black eyeliner will intensify the look, and false eyelashes will make your look even spookier. Make Up For Ever has a ton of options—type 31 (Carolyn) ($16 at Sephora) are extra long and dense, which will work great for many different looks. Black lipstick and shadowing on the face will top off your zombie look. For face makeup, use your black eye shadow to create grayish markings on your face. To make the look ever scarier, apply red lipstick for fake blood. Use black eyeliner for fake stitches if you want to go over the top.

5. Spooky witch

For spooky witch makeup that’s sure to impress anyone, try this shimmery green look! First, apply sparkly green eye shadow to your eyelids; try Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadow in Zodiac ($20 at Sephora). Next, line your top eyelid with black eyeliner and apply plenty of mascara. Use false eyelashes for this look as well; rhinestone false eyelashes can be found on Amazon for $9.99! Or, for another dramatic look, apply gems onto the corners of your eyes. Darken your eyebrows for a harsher vibe by filling them in with tarte’s EmphasEYES For Brows High Definition Eyebrow Pencil in Rich Brown ($20 at Sephora). Use red lipstick if you’re going for a sexy look or black lipstick if you’re going for a scary look. Voila!

6. Cute scarecrow

To change up the classic farmer look, all you need is adorable scarecrow makeup. Draw orange circles on your cheeks and nose with Orange Cream Makeup (only $1.99 at Party City!). Use black eyeliner to draw stitches on your nose and extending past the corners of your mouth. Draw “eyelashes” under your eyes as well.

7. Vicious vampire

For a blood-sucking look that’s still sexy, this vampire makeup is for you. First, cover your face with powder that’s lighter than your skin. Cover Girl TruBlend Minerals Loose Powder in a shade that’s right for you ($7.64 at Amazon) will work great. Next, use gray eye shadow around your eyes for a dark, mysterious look. Be sure to apply the eye shadow under your eyes as well. Use red lipstick on your lips and smudge it in order to create a bloodstained effect. To complete the look, wear Plastic Vampire Fangs (only $0.99 at Party City!).

Doing your makeup for Halloween has never been more exciting with tons of looks that can be achieved with spooky products. No matter what you dress up as, there’s a makeup look out there for you to experiment with! You’ll have the hottest costume at the party complete with awesome makeup. Feeling creative? Check out these Halloween nail ideas, too!

Two years ago, I was living my dream. I had just started my master's degree studies, lost a lot of weight and was very proud of my looks, and was planning a future together with my first boyfriend, Tom. I couldn't have been more excited about life.

Then, one day I got sick. I had a fever and a headache, my lymph glands got swollen and I felt absolutely horrible. I just wanted to sleep all the time under three duvets. I noticed a small bump in my private parts. And another one. And a third one. I was confused but immediately knew that I had to book an appointment to see my gynecologist. Still, I wasn't too worried when I walked to the clinic. After all, I was in a steady, monogamous relationship with my first sexual partner, who had assured me he had gotten tested just before we started dating. It was probably just some inflammation. So, you can imagine my horror and absolute bewilderment when the doctor had one look at me and told me that I had genital herpes, an STD that there is no permanent cure for. Shocked, I kept repeating, ”How can this be possible? I've only ever slept with one guy in my whole life!” But all I got for an answer was: ”You just had bad luck.”

Leaving the clinic that day, I was completely shattered. I remember going home, heading straight to bed and crying for the rest of the day. My mum stroked my hair and assured me that everything would be fine. But I didn't feel fine. I felt like I'd never be fine again. I was absolutely sure that, at 23, my life was over. It was as if something had broken inside me for good, and I thought I could never be so carefree and happy as I had been just the day before. All I could think was that if I ever broke up with Tom, I could never have a one-night stand with a random guy, because what random guy would like to have sex with someone like me...someone filthy. Not that I'd ever had a one-night stand before, but suddenly, I felt like I'd lost out on the chance completely. I could never start a relationship with anyone before first telling them that I had a contagious disease. I could never go on casual dates with anyone without thinking, ”Would they be here if they knew?” I felt like from now on I would always be ”that girl.” The girl who had an STD.

After getting the diagnosis, I started asking around about how this could happen even though my boyfriend had been tested –– I found out something shocking: When you get tested for STDs, genital herpes will NOT be tested if you don't have any symptoms. However, many people never get any symptoms at all and can still infect their partners without knowing it. The good thing about genital herpes is that it is not dangerous. It will not kill you. You won't get cancer because of it, nor will it affect your fertility. It does give you bumps and sores that will hurt and might look awful. However, some people only get very mild symptoms — small bumps that can easily be mistaken for an ordinary pimple. This can cause people to not realize that they actually have herpes. But the worst part is that before my own diagnosis, I had no clue about all this. I had always been very aware of STDs, had attended the same sex ed classes as everyone else, studied the topic myself and even talked about it with my doctor. Still, I had never heard that herpes won't be tested if you don't have any symptoms or that no symptoms doesn't equal no disease. Neither had Tom, who had asked to be tested ”for everything” and had been told "everything was clean.” I had risked getting an STD without even knowing it, because I had trusted the health care system to, well, take care of me.

The physical effects aside, what no one ever talks about is how emotionally traumatizing getting an STD can be. Even if you rarely have any symptoms or your disease goes into remission (the virus stays in your body but it will only activate and cause you symptoms once every few years or so), getting an STD can leave a permanent mark on your self-esteem and sexuality, especially if you get a disease that will stay with you for life. When I got the diagnosis, the doctors gave me medicine to help with the physical symptoms —but not once did they ask how I was feeling or coping with it. No one told me that I could go and talk to someone. Instead, I had to seek for therapy myself. No one ever said to me, "This is not the end of the world." No one ever told me that I could, and should, continue enjoying my life just as I had done up until then.

For me, getting an STD ended up completely crushing my self-esteem. After I got the diagnosis I felt absolutely horrible about myself and, for a long time, I was certain that no one was ever going to love me again — let alone want me physically. It didn't help either when Tom and I broke up soon after my diagnosis and I started dating again. The first guy I told about my disease said to my face, using swear words, that he was shocked, as he had thought that I was "pure." He was obviously disgusted, and I never heard from him again. It was like my worst fear had just come true. I felt like the most undesirable person in the whole world for a long time after that.

Only after almost two years of therapy and moving in together with my new, most loving and respecting boyfriend Jim — who has nothing but supported me from the day I met him— am I starting to feel good about myself again and get my self-confidence back. I take medicine every day, which keeps the disease under control and I haven't had any symptoms in over a year now. But to be honest, even now (two years after the diagnosis), I still feel like my life will never be the same as it was before and my healing process is only beginning.

Even though Jim couldn't have been more wonderful about this, it took me a long time to trust him completely. It was so hard to believe that my disease really wasn't a problem for him or that he wasn't going to leave me because of it. However, to this day I haven't forgotten those hurtful words that that one guy said to me –– I still burst into tears every time I'm watching a movie where they make a 'funny' joke about someone having herpes. However, instead of accepting those jokes, or believing that I really am 'dirty' if someone says so, I now fight back. Now I understand that no one has the right to talk to me, or anyone else, like that, and childish jokes about a condition that affects millions of people’s physical and mental health around the world tell more about the joker than they do about me.

Yes, it is very important to tell girls about how they can prevent STDs and how to cope with the physical symptoms if they do get one. But I think that it is just as important to tell them how to survive mentally. STDs are very common these days: according to ASHA, more than half of the population will get an STD at some point in their lives. Yet, they are such a taboo that many people find it impossible to tell anyone if they have one. Personally, I haven't even told most of my family and closest friends about it. I hope that one day having an STD won't be so shameful and girls will understand that there is absolutely nothing to be embarassed of.

This is also why I'm telling my story now, with my own name. I refuse to be ashamed anymore. By giving a face to this disease, I want to show that any ordinary girl like me can suffer from it. You can't tell it by looking at me, but it also doesn't define me. If I could say one thing to the girl who was leaving that clinic two years ago –– and to all the girls who are struggling with the same issue –– it would be this: even if you have an STD, you are still beautiful and strong and deserve to be loved and treated with respect just as much as anyone else. You are not dirty or a used toothbrush. Your disease doesn't say anything about the beautiful person you are. This disease doesn't define you — it is not who you are. I really wish someone had told me that two years ago. Because they didn't, I'm telling it to myself now.

Tom and Jim's names have been changed.

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Though many of us grew up playing with them, Barbies don't have the best reputation. From their unrealistic body types to the gendered stereotypes the dolls often seem to promote, they're not really what we think of when we think of empowering young girls. But the latest ad from Mattel just might show that Barbies are so much more than the pin-skinny, overly made up dolls we associate them as.

As Global SVP and General Manager Evelyn Mazzocco told Adweek, "We want to remind the world what Barbie stands for. Founded by a female entrepreneur and mother in 1959, the Barbie brand has always represented the fact that women have choices. This ongoing initiative is designed to remind today's parents that through the power of imagination, Barbie allows girls to explore their limitless potential."

And that's exactly what the 2-minute video, below, does. Though we can still point out ways in which we believe Barbies can be changed to become better role models to the girls who so love them, we do admire the message Mattel is sending with their latest campaign.

“I have stage three breast cancer.”

Thiat was the last phone call I was expecting from my older sister, Reyna, as I was enjoying a delicious caramel apple from the street fair at the University of Oregon.

I thought about the times she’d often complained half jokingly about her absurd and at times comical problem with her breasts lactating at random. We had always laughed along with her stories, but I had also always persuaded her to get them checked out.

She had let three years pass since she first noticed abnormalities. By then, she was a 34-year-old restaurant manager in Chicago, living her life vigorously and remaining unaware of the deadly health risks she was facing. It was only after she noticed a large lump under her left nipple that she recognized the extremity of the situation and finally headed to the doctor. What started out as a sunny day in May had turned into everyone’s worst nightmare. 

My sister Reyna was adopted from Oaxaca, Mexico and has always had incredibly tough skin. She was always the last person you wanted on your bad side, but the first person you wanted backing you up when you needed it. We knew that Reyna was young enough and strong enough to fight this horrible monster that continues to affect one in 8 women in the U.S., but once we learned it was stage three, we all held our breaths and filled our thoughts with prayers. As a 19-year-old student finishing my first year of college and simultaneously managing a big break-up, I was extremely overwhelmed. 

I knew that, regardless of personal issues and final exams, I needed to be there for my big sister, and I was determined to help her through this. An old friend of Reyna's created a Facebook page where friends and family could follow her fight, calling it “Reyna’s Kickin’ Cancer’s Ass Page”—a perfect way to sum up Reyna’s attitude towards the diagnosis. Here, words of support and constant updates were made that allowed Reyna to have an immediate support system even though she was in Chicago and thousands of miles away from her family on the West Coast.

Reyna’s breast cancer was one of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to our family, but it was also one of the most beautiful things to see how much love and support she had along the way through all of the positive posts on the Facebook page. It began with shirts that everyone would sign wishing her luck and posters or cards of all shapes and sizes flowing in from every part of the country. Some supporters were dear friends, but others were complete strangers who simply wanted to wish her the best in her challenging road to health. One of my favorite gifts that Reyna received during this time was a large pin button she wore that read, “I had chemo today, what’s your excuse?”  It was a perfect representation of the fearless and determined attitude that my brave older sister maintained throughout her treatment. 

Such sincere positivity helped to encourage my sister daily and put endless smiles on her face even in the face of illness. From her pink designer hospital gown to her non-stop party girl spirit still rocking it with my brother at multiple Chicago Cubs games throughout it all, Reyna was an inspiration to everybody, even the other patients in the hospital

Despite the heavy diagnosis and the time Reyna spent in the hospital, the moment when it hit us just how real this was, was when chemotherapy began. During this time, Reyna was losing her hair, her breasts, her physical strength; she was scared, as anybody would be. She was scared of the outcome, scared of the process and scared of the changes that were happening and would continue to happen to her body daily.  

Even so, Reyna's positive attitude never faltered, though she struggled with having to change her life from the normalcy of working and playing to now dedicating everything to her healing and to her survival. She continued to work for as long as she could, and stayed social whenever she felt up to it; she was convinced that a few margaritas here and there could only be killing more bad germs…plus it made her pain seem a little more bearable. Overall, Reyna felt hopeful. As for me, I just wished I could have been closer to her throughout it all. It wasn't enough talking on the phone and hearing her try to still laugh it off and assure me that she was fine. I knew she wasn't fine; how could she be, when she was undergoing treatment that was leaving her nauseous, exhausted, weak and, even if she tried to hide it from me, scared? Though she was brave, there is only so much smiling you can do as you slowly lose your hair, your eyelashes and your appetite.

Even before her cancer diagnosis, my older sister was a huge role model to me, but watching her undergo so much pain—both physically and emotionally—and seeing her smile even after shaving her gorgeous head of hair at such a young age, truly helped me to gain a more appreciative perspective on life. Just because we are young and privileged never means that we can take even one day for granted. The fear of losing a sister, a daughter or a best friend brought all of Reyna’s loved ones closer to her, and she was able to rekindle and strengthen lost friendships along the way. Continuously losing things and in return gaining others was an ongoing theme throughout Reyna’s year-long chemotherapy process. She would lose her work and social life, but would gain the support of an entire community. She would lose her white blood cells, but she would gain a greater appreciation for her life. She would lose her boobies (as she called them), but in the end would eventually have her health back. Most importantly with her health came a million positive stories and unforgettable friends who she met along the way.

The loyalty of Reyna’s friends and family during the process was astounding, and as she became bald, so did many of her male friends! As she also became comfortable with her “new do”—she acquired a large collection of beautiful hats and head wraps to model. This girl could truly take one of the worst circumstances and transform it into a comedy show for us all to laugh at alongside her.

It is now nearing October 2014, and my beautiful big sister has been cancer free for almost two years.  She received a bilateral mastectomy, a procedure that removes all breast tissue that could potentially develop cancer, and is something most women who’ve been diagnosed will choose to do in hopes of avoiding future disease. She now is the proud owner of some truly stunning new boobies! She recently moved to California to be with the rest of our family and she still continues to tell her story with a smile on her face and boxing gloves on her hands.  

Since Reyna’s experience with breast cancer, I know that I, as well as the women in our lives, have become much more aware of doing self-examinations as well as supporting those battling their own fights all over. My family has participated in various walk for the cure events, played in golf tournaments supporting breast cancer awareness (my mom even has a pink bag and balls) and this past year did a breast cancer snowshoe in honor of my sister. We continue to rock our "We Heart Boobies" bracelets and stickers and will continue to participate in any breast cancer events that can help people like Reyna win their fight. We are lucky to have our Reynie still with us today, and we can all look up to her as a hero. According to Reyna, “CANCER, YOU PICKED THE WRONG B*TCH!”

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Olivia Benson—tough yet compassionate Law & Order: Special Victims Unit detective or beloved cat of pop star Taylor Swift? Some might say they’re one and the same, but face it: you’re either one or the other. Take our quiz to find out if you’re more like Olivia Benson the detective or Olivia Benson the cat.

Well, we certainly didn't see this one coming. This weekend, a musical collaboration between that on-again, off-again duo Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber leaked—and it actually says a lot about their relationship.

Unofficially titled "Strong," the song features lyrics like "Wishing I was better at this damn thing" and "When will I get over this?". Referencing the difficulties of being in a long-distance relationship, the song opens with Selena singing, "I'm just wishing you were better at communication."

This unexpected song comes after both Selena and Justin have opened up about their former relationship, with Justin admitting that the two of them were "so invested in each other" and Selena pointing out that "we grew up together" and that she'll "forever support him and love him."

Listen to the song below—and you decide, is this a sign that Jelena is making a comeback?

This event will be a traditional Japanese Haunted House, run by the BU Japanese Student Association, collaborating with the south RHA. It will incorporate the traditional Japanese monsters and scary stories that will further showcase our Japanese tradition.