Back in 2009, Amani Al-Khatahtbeh, founder of MuslimGirl.com, was done being misrepresented in the media. She’d noticed that plenty of people were talking about Muslims on television and in other media—but none of the people talking looked like her. This led to “a horrible misunderstanding of who we are,” Al-Khatahtbeh said at Her Conference on July 23. There was only one thing to do. Al-Khatahtbeh started MuslimGirl.com, and has been maintaining a space for Muslim women’s voices to be heard ever since.
Here are four ways to be a better ally to Muslim women, from Al-Khatahtbeh’s keynote speech at Her Conference.
1. Don’t generalize.
“The first step toward demonizing a population is to generalize them,” Al-Khatahtbeh said, speaking of the way stereotypes about Muslim women—that they’re silent, sexualized and victimized, for example—have become pervasive. Generalizing is dangerous, and it makes no sense. As Al-Khatahtbeh said, think of trying to tell the same story about all Christian women. It would be ridiculous! Remember that no population is a monolith, and that every individual Muslim woman is unique in her experience of the world.
2. Check your own people.
When one Her Conference attendee talked about realizing she'd been Islamophobic in the past, Al-Khatahtbeh pointed out that being a better ally can start right at home. Whether it’s explaining to a friend why their offensive joke isn’t funny, or starting conversations with racist family members, teaching our loved ones is a powerful way to slowly but surely change the world.
3. Don’t speak on behalf of others.
If you’re passionate about ending oppression and bigotry, you might want to speak up on behalf of Muslims whenever you see prejudice against them. But this kind of thinking isn’t helpful—because you’re stopping Muslims who actually experience Islamophobia from using their own voices and telling their own stories. “If we want to do justice to our womanhood, it’s important for us to elevate and empower the narratives of those women who are underrepresented, who are facing adversity,” Al-Khatahtbeh said. “For some women, when we tell our stories, it’s not just a hobby, it’s not just a passion. For some of us, we do so as a means of survival.”
4. Instead, pass the mic!
Rather than use your voice to talk about Muslims, use your resources to give Muslim women a platform to speak for themselves. People need to hear from Muslims—as Al-Khatahtbeh explained, polls show many Americans haven’t even met a Muslim, yet we elected a president largely off his views on Muslims. Help share more Muslim stories with the world. “It’s those stories, those human experiences, that bring us together – that remind us of each other’s humanity,” Al-Khatahtbeh said.
As if the stability of the White House wasn't questionable enough, CNN reports that several White House officials have been duped by a self-described "email prankster" from the United Kingdom. Posing as White House officials, he emailed high level staff like Homeland Security Adviser Tom Bossert and the now-former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci.
He pretended to be Jared Kushner, AKA Ivanka's husband and a senior staffer, and used an Outlook account to write to Bossert's official government email, "Tom, we are arranging a bit of a soirée towards the end of August. It would be great if you could make it, I promise food of at least comparible [sic] quality to that which we ate in Iraq. Should be a great evening." Shockingly, a man who deals with cyber security daily responded, "Thanks, Jared. With a promise like that, I can't refuse. Also, if you ever need it, my personal email is (redacted)." So glad this is one of the men responsible for keeping our nation secure.
Scaramucci also fell prey to the trap, replying to an email by a fake former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus attempting to antagonize him. The message said, "At no stage have you acted in a way that's even remotely classy, yet you believe that's the standard by which everyone should behave towards you? General Kelly will do a fine job. I'll even admit he will do a better job than me. But the way in which that transition has come about has been diabolical. And hurtful. I don't expect a reply."
Scaramucci took the bait and replied, "You know what you did. We all do. Even today. But rest assured we were prepared. A Man would apologize," to which the phony Priebus responded, "I can't believe you are questioning my ethics! The so called 'Mooch', who can't even manage his first week in the White House without leaving upset in his wake. I have nothing to apologize for." Scaramucci finished with some English lit knowledge. "Read Shakespeare. Particularly Othello. You are right there. My family is fine by the way and will thrive. I know what you did. No more replies from me." End scene.
According to the prankster's Twitter, he's tricked Scaramucci a whopping three times (like, how?) and also had a conversation with Eric Trump as Donald Trump Jr.
I even emailed Scaramucci yesterday evening . That's THREE people I've made him believe I am. 'Communications Director'... yeah right! pic.twitter.com/TVOsUCosXX
None of the emails seem to pose a threat right now, but this incident does show how vulnerable the current administration is to potential security breaches. The prankster told CNN he didn't mean any harm with his pranks. "I try and keep it on the humorous side of things," he told CNN. "I'm not trying to get the keys to the vault or anything like that." On his Twitter, he also said he'd lay off the White House.
White House - FYI I won't be pranking you any longer, point made. I'm just a dude with a iPhone, you need to tighten up IT policy. love x x
Yeah, it does raise a lot of questions about the competency of the government. I guess we'll just have to wait for the next email scandal. Knowing current American politics, it will probably be next week. What a time to be alive.
The beloved actors and actresses of Gossip Girlhave come a long way since their days of televised teen drama. Goddess Blake Lively has starred in numerous blockbuster films, the gorgeous Leighton Meester has dabbled in every area of the arts (even making her Broadway debut), and Ed Westwick currently has a role in White Gold, a BBC comedy. But where’s Penn Badgley been hiding all these years?
Although I'm happy he released some pretty rad music and married singer Domino Kirke in February, I’ve missed seeing his face on my screen. Lucky for all Gossip Girl fans, Badgley has landed the lead role in a new show called You, reports Cosmopolitan. The series is based on a 2014 young adult novel of the same name by writer Caroline Kepnes. The book garnered a ton of praise—and it sounds like this so-called darker version of Gossip Girl is going to be a hit.
Entertainment Weekly says the series is “a 21st-century love story about an obsessive, yet brilliant bookstore manager named Joe Goldberg (Badgley), who uses the hyper-connectivity of today's technology to make the woman of his dreams, an aspiring writer named Beck, fall in love with him.” Dan, is that you?
Cosmo reports that You is set to premiere next April on Lifetime—aka we'll be waiting eagerly until then.
There's more trouble in Trumpland. This scandal involves a murdered Democratic staffer, the whole Russia issue and some incorrect quotes in a Fox article.
To start from the beginning, Seth Rich was a 27-year-old aide working for the Democratic National Committee (DNC) when he was killed on July 10, 2016 in Washington, D.C. More than a year later, his murder is still under investigation. Rich’s death sparked conspiracy theories, and several right-wing media outlets linked Rich's death to the 2016 DNC email leak. Conspiracy theorists believe Rich was killed because he leaked DNC information to WikiLeaks.
In May 2017, Fox News published an article regarding Rich's death. It quoted private investigator Rod Wheeler saying that Seth Rich had been punished for contacting WikiLeaks, and that a massive scandal was being covered up. This was around the same time that allegations about President Trump's firing of former FBI Director James Comey was occurring, NPR reports.
Fox's unsupported story was retracted after a cease and desist letter was sent from Rich's parents. They regarded the politicization of their son’s death as disgusting, according to an article they wrote for The Washington Post. “There are people who are using our beloved Seth's memory and legacy for their own political goals, and they are using your outrage to perpetuate our nightmare."
Three months later, this story gets even stranger. The New York Timesreports that Wheeler released a statement, asserting that Fox News took his words about Rich's death out of context. According to Wheeler, Fox News only reported this story at the request of the White House.
Malia Zimmerman, the author of the now retracted article, reportedly worked with Trump supporter and Fox News contributor Ed Butowsky. A text message from Butowsky on May 14 serves as evidence: “Not to add any more pressure but the president just read the article. He wants the article out immediately. It’s now all up to you. But don’t feel the pressure.” This implies that Trump wanted to say Rich was involved in the leak so that the blame would be taken away from Russia.
Former Press Secretary Sean Spicer previously said he was aware of the Fox story.
To recap, the White House press secretary admits to having a meeting specifically to discuss the Seth Rich conspiracy with the conspirators.
But now Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is saying, “The President had no knowledge of the story and it is completely untrue that there was White House involvement in the story." Hmm. Wheeler is claiming Trump knew about this inaccurate Fox story, so we have to see if the truth eventually comes out.
The Men Tell All episode of The Bachelorette is usually a snoozefest, and most of this week’s MTA definitely was. I mean, when you open the show with a recap of the biggest moments from past Men Tell Alls (with contestants we barely remember), that can’t be a good sign for the rest of the show’s quality.
Despite focusing on Lee for a long time, The Men Tell All still managed to provide some genuinely heartwarming and funny moments that were worth watching. Below are nine moments when the show was actually entertaining (albeit, briefly).
1. When Kenny’s daughter McKenzie surprised everyone and came out with a rose for Dad
I always knew Kenny was a big teddy bear, but seeing him with his little girl was just icing on the cake. Producers, I want an update on how the duo’s Disneyland trip went. Also, McKenzie for Bachelorette 2030?
2. When former unknown Matt debuted a new, smoking hot look
A post shared by The Bachelorette (@bacheloretteabc) on
Matt just went from the quiet guy who asked to bring his drink with him after he was eliminated to a literal vision of my dream man. (I see you too, Adam—not bad).
3. When DeMario said what we were all thinking and asked Jamey who he was
I’m wary to believe anything DeMario says, but he was right on point when alleged contestant Jamey (where did this man come from?) tried making a witty remark about DeMario and Whaboom Guy supporting each other. If anything, DeMario sounded like a live-tweeting Bachelorette fan who’s simultaneously amused and disturbed at their inability to remember faces that were on TV two months ago.
4. When Dean looked blown away by the audience’s cheers for him
We all love a modest guy, and Dean seems genuinely unaware of how much Bachelor Nation loves him. Contestants like this tend to either thrive or fizzle out post-show, but I have a feeling that Dean has a good road ahead of him.
5. When Josiah showed just how much he loved food in the blooper reel
"I don't know what this is, but I'm eating it!" Josiah pigging out on food in Norway was way more enjoyable to watch than Chad's meat binge last year.
6. When not even Lucas and Blake looked interested in their banana debacle
Ah, I was so close to erasing these two entirely from my memory. In case you missed it, Whaboom/Lucas and Blake still don’t really know what happened in the supposed incident of Blake eating a banana over a sleeping Lucas. K, moving on.
7. When Kenny let Rachel know that he’s on call if her engagement doesn’t work out
“If Bryan, Eric or Peter don’t work out, you already know my number.” Kenny and Rachel are basically the greatest almost-couple this franchise has seen, and I wouldn’t complain if their paths crossed again in the future.
8. When Rachel was relevant af when she yawned in Adam’s face in a blooper
The blooper reel was one of the best parts of the episode, and Rachel settled everyone’s questions about how she manages to survive cocktail parties: she really doesn’t. Don’t underestimate how taxing being the Bachelorette can be.
9. When the guys were super supportive and applauded each other like crazy
From cheering on Dean to supporting Fred when he got real with Rachel, these men are definitely a tight bunch. Based on Rachel and Chris Harrison's jokes, they looked happiest watching themselves on bloopers, so I can only imagine how much they actually like each other. I've said it before and will say it again—sometimes the best love stories in Bachelor Nation are the contestants' friendships.
After starring as the title character in Disney's Moana last year, Auli'i Cravalho has become a household name and the youngest actress to ever voice a Disney heroine. She was cast as Moana when she was just 14, at 16 performed "How Far I'll Go" at the 2017 Oscars with Lin-Manuel Miranda, and she's still just getting started. When she's not flying around the country or doing her homework on the beach, the Hawaiian actress has been shooting the upcoming Rise for NBC, which follows a high school drama program and the impact it has on its small town. She was also just recently named the brand ambassador for WallFlower Jeans' back-to-school #FeelingIt campaign, following in the WallFlower girl footsteps of stars like Katherine McNamara, Bella Thorne and Sarah Hyland.
Long story short, this girl shows no signs of slowing down, but she did find time to chat with us and share her favorite styling tips, go-to musical artists and the mantras that keep her going despite her crazy schedule.
Her Campus: You're the new face of WallFlower Jeans, which is so exciting! Denim is easy to dress up or down—what are some of your favorite ways to style the jeans from the new collection?
Auli'i Cravalho: I personally love to style denim-on-denim looks, especially when you can pair it with a bright shoe! And you can never go wrong with a pair of well-fitting jeans and a white shirt; it's clean, simple and timeless.
HC: The #FeelingIt message is so important. Where do you get your fashion inspiration?
AC: I've always thought of inspiration as a feeling. I get inspired by swing music to wear polka dots, I wander into a shop and search until I find the piece that makes me light up. My style is myself personified. The message #FeelingIt is just that, allowing yourself to play with fashion to your heart’s content, but also simply asking, does this make you feel like you? And if the answer is yes, you're on the right path.
HC: We see you dressed up and super glam on the red carpet and at events, but what does an everyday outfit look like for you when you're just working or on the go?
AC: I love dressing up for different occasions, but styling everyday looks are my favorite! A pair of wonderfully fitting jeans are almost always the base, whether they're skinny, boot cut or even a pair of bell bottoms. I like pairing that with a good graphic tee, and chunky heels. Oh! And don't be afraid of accessorizing with some costume jewelry! A bold ring or a graphic earring can be super fun, and not too expensive either.
HC: "How Far I'll Go" is such a power anthem. Do you have any favorite songs to get you pumped up or inspired?
AC: My taste in music changes every day, hour and minute, but songs and artists that touch my heart remain my inspiration for some time. "How Far I'll Go" is definitely one of those songs stuck in my heart and my head. My favorite artists are currently Matt Corby, Leon Bridges and French artist, Stromae. They've each got so much to share, and never fail to inspire me.
HC: What's one of the most surreal things that has happened since Moana premiered? (Besides getting to represent WallFlower Jeans, of course.)
AC: Performing at the Oscars, singing the National Anthem at the National Memorial Day Concert and booking an NBC series! I've been so blessed with all of these opportunities, and it all started with Moana! I'm so, so grateful!!
HC: With your crazy schedule of filming, performing and traveling, how do you balance everything? Any advice for staying sane when you're super busy?
AC: Finding a balance in a career like this is most certainly a challenge, but that really is the key—finding the balance, and taking time for your health being most important to put into that balance. My advice is the same, being physically drained is utterly different from being mentally drained. Calling the end of a long day is necessary in the case of the latter, and that's okay.
HC: Finally, what's your favorite inspirational quote/mantra?
AC: "Just breathe", "Laugh often" and "Carpe diem." The three remind me that there's always enough time, there can never be too much laughter and to "seize the day."
Orientation week is, quite possibly, the single scariest time in a new college student’s life, especially if you’re shy. It’s fraught with anxiety about making friends, navigating campus and figuring out your new life as an independent woman. But have no fear! We’re here to make your life a little less stressful in the form of this nifty (and hopefully comforting) guide to orientation week, packed with advice from collegiettes about how they got through it. So take a deep breath (or three), and let us show you the way.
Surviving the first day
The first day is easily the most shocking. There are so many people, so many events, and the feeling that you are obligated to experience everything right this second. Take it slow. Start by deciding that you want to meet people and try new things. Fighting it will only make it harder to enjoy yourself on day one. You could try out California Lutheran sophomore Simone Goerlich’s strategy of deciding to step out of your comfort zone.
“The first day, I walked over to a small group of girls because a small group tends to be less intimidating than a larger group, and I introduced myself,” Simone says. “It was really easy going up to a random stranger and asking them where they are from and their major. I know it sounds cliché but realizing that everyone is just as uncomfortable as you are got me through that week.”
Remember that most people are just as nervous as you, so just say that! You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to bond with people over your mutual nervousness. Plus, other people will be happy to hear you say that you are just as anxious as they are. It will put both you and them at ease, knowing that you’re not alone in this and now you have someone you can confide in about this experience.
Making friends
This is a big one. Everyone feels pressured to make friends in this new environment, but it’s okay to just mingle and get to know people during this week. A lot of people spend this week feeling homesick and lonely, which of course only makes you feel more stressed about not making friends pronto.
“Making friends the first week was super hard because all I wanted to do was call my mom to tell her everything I did,” says Brigitte Curcio, a senior at the University of Tennessee at Martin. “So I made sure that when I went to the student organization fair, I put my name down for as many clubs as I thought were interesting so I would keep busy and meet different kinds of people all over campus.”
And if you don’t make many (or any) friends during orientation week, you’re not alone. Talia Santopadre, a sophomore at Emerson College, knows what it’s like. “For my entire first semester, I only had one friend and she was my roommate, so if you don’t make any friends during orientation week, don’t get scared!” she says. “The best thing you can do to make friends is put yourself out there. Say hi to someone on campus. Needless to say, once classes start, you meet tons of people you have classes with, but everyone is in the same – or similar – place where they don’t know anyone.”
Don’t stress if you don’t make a lot of friends right off the bat. Just stay true to yourself, and everything will fall into place.
For whatever reason, sitting alone at the dining hall seems scary AF, but it’s actually not! It can be really nice to eat by yourself, especially if you want a hot second to catch your breath from all the socializing. But if sitting alone in the dining hall makes you uncomfortable, take Talia’s advice and read a book or surf the web on your phone or laptop for a little bit.
“No one is going to make fun of you for sitting alone, we’ve all been there,” she says. And it’s true. So many people eat alone in the dining hall that it really isn’t weird at all.
Plus, it is a great place to meet people! “When I didn’t have anyone to sit with in the dining hall, I just looked for people who were looking as awkward and uncomfortable as I was,” Brigitte says. Find some friendly faces and ask if you can sit at their table. Most of the time, other people are happy to let you join them. If you still feel uncomfortable about it, though, most campuses have a dining hall or to-go eatery that will allow you to get food and take it back to your dorm.
Navigating campus
Depending on the size of your school’s campus, this one could seem very daunting. Trust us, it’s not bad at all!
“Don’t be afraid to ask where something is. Most upperclassmen are willing to help you out, so I wouldn’t be nervous about it. If you are concerned and don’t want potentially false information, you can always ask a faculty member,” Talia says. She also says to find your buildings and classrooms before school starts. That way, you know exactly where you’re going and how long it takes to get there.
Also remember that if you do ask for help, no one will know you’re a freshman. You absolutely don’t have to tell people that, and most of the time no one will ask. You could be literally anyone, for all they know. That and most upperclassman will be helpful and accurate in the information they give you about where certain buildings are.
Being overwhelmed
The toughest things about orientation week include the mental fatigue and overwhelming feelings that come with this busy, emotionally charged week. What’s comforting, though, is that so many people feel just like you during this time. Stephanie Huynh, a sophomore at Lehigh University, says she definitely felt this way.
“One of the feelings I clearly remember from orientation was that I was exhausted,” she says. “I don’t consider myself relatively shy, but being friendly and outgoing 24/7 really drained me. My orientation included never-ending ice breakers and conversations, so I couldn’t wait to get time to myself.”
Stephanie’s not the only one who felt this way. Sophia Walker, a recent graduate of Bowdoin College, says that since she was both introverted and homeschooled, orientation week was a lot for her to take in.
“It was non-stop activities, ice breakers, meet n’ greets… you name it! I was terrified and exhausted,” she says. “I strongly encourage incoming freshman to take care of themselves! Sleep enough, take time alone if you need it. You have four years to get to know everyone; skip optional mixers if you feel you need to. You have plenty of time to make friends later. Be kind to yourself.”
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.
Everyone goes through orientation week. It’s a natural part of the college experience. And your feelings of fear, anxiety, nervousness, overwhelm and possibly even dread are all valid. Take each activity one step at a time, and don’t feel pressured to go meet people or participate in activities if you really would rather not. It’s totally not a bad thing to step outside your comfort zone, but it’s also okay to do that on your own terms. You will find your people. You will find all your classes. And you will look back on this week someday and be so proud of how far you’ve come. It’s all going to be okay, friend. *deep breath in, deep breath out*
On Tuesday, the Senate overwhelmingly voted to confirm Christopher Wray, President Trump's nominee to replace James Comey as the director of the FBI, TheWashington Post reports.
The vote totaled 92-5, with five Democrats voting against Wray, who will now be in charge of the organization that is investigating the Trump administration's possible ties to Russia during the 2016 election. Many accused the president of trying to stop the FBI's investigation into possible ties to Russia when he fired Comey in may, so all eyes will be on Wray and how he handles the investigation.
According to the Post, Wray's overwhelming confirmation was likely due to the fact that he reassured senators during his confirmation hearing that he would never declare loyalty to the president, and that if Trump pressured him to end the investigation, he'd resign - both of which Comey accused POTUS of doing when he testified in front of the Senate back in June.
The new FBI director is a former federal prosecutor and worked in the Justice Department under the George W. Bush administration. He also represented New Jersey governor Chris Christie in the Bridgegate scandal back in 2013 - meaning he has a background in dealing with political scandal.
"Now more than ever, the bureau needs a resolute and independent leader," said Democratic Senator Sheldon Whitehouse from Rhode Island said, according to The New York Times. "Christopher Wray has assured us he can be that leader."
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
By Maya Pete
No one has ever asked me what "Black Girl Magic" means to me before. I’m actually thankful for that, because there are so many other aspects of my identity that I have to explain or perform when I’m in the greater community. It’s beautiful not to have to constantly verbalize this raw, feminine energy that radiates out from the inner depths of my black soul, unless I should choose to, because there is power in doing that as well.
But before I can explain what Black Girl Magic means to me, I have to recount the ways in which I came into my own embodiment of it. While growing up in West Texas, I never ventured to see myself as beautiful because LatinX and White beauty standards dominated my social sphere. And here’s the thing: not only was I black, I was also a big girl. I remember one of the guys in my middle school class telling me he was going to call me “Big Black” like the guy from the MTV show, and I laughed it off because everyone else was laughing. But I was only 12 years old, and to be honest, it crushed me. After that I remember consciously avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces whenever I could, because not only did I think I wasn’t beautiful, I actively thought that I was ugly.
I carried this discomfort with my skin and my body type with me to Stanford, but it has been within this university, or rather within the hub of black excellence at the heart of it, that I have developed a sense of confidence in and adoration for my skin. I came to this realization upon being surrounded by people that looked like me, but in so many different and beautiful ways. To quote an influential member of our Stanford Black Community, I saw that black girl magic is “Black, African, Caribbean, Jamaican, Muslim, Christian, Multiracial, Queer, Transgender,” and so, so much more. I felt included in a way that I had never been invited to feel before. This was a movement, an all-encompassing manifestation and celebration of my existence.
It’s funny the power that words and labels can have on the way that we conduct ourselves in society. For instance, the “Big Black” taunt has stuck with me for nearly a decade, but I’m sure when that little boy let those words come out of his mouth he had no idea how they would affect my perception of myself for years to come. The words, “Black Girl Magic” have just as powerful, but opposite, effect. They empower a group of women to let the inner beauty that brews beneath their tough, pigmented skin to shine outward and mesmerize those who are lucky enough to witness.
I find that the issues I had with understanding my beauty (inner and outer) came from my inability to witness a similar kind of beauty in a community outside of the immediacy of my family. I walked nearly alone in my black girl-ness for years, and in doing so stifled an element of self-acceptance that is crucial to self-love. But the hashtag #BlackGirlMagic allows girls and women, whether they're in situations similar to or completely different from mine, to find and be a part of a community that lets them know that everything about them—from their hair to their body type to their intellectual aspirations—is something that can, and should, be celebrated.
To me, Black Girl Magic is a celebration of the black woman’s spirit that refuses to be broken down by the systematic oppression, hypersexualization and injustices that we face. It is a movement that does not seek to alienate any body of people, but rather to lift up those with similar experiences and allow them to challenge the standard. Simply put, the magic in Black Girl Magic, to me, means resilience, beauty, power and love.
After months of leading us on with rumors and teasing her beauty line by rocking the most gorgeous highlighter we've basically ever seen in our lives, Rihanna has finally announced an official release date for Fenty Beauty - and it's probably even closer than you thought.
On Tuesday, RiRi took to Instagram to bless us all with a mysterious update that only reads "9.8.17," captioning the photo, "@FentyBeauty is coming!!!! Countdown to September. 8. 2017 starts now. #FENTYBeauty makeup will be available globally at @sephora and @harveynichols Link us at FentyBeauty.com."
Yes, you read that right: we'll be able to get our hands on Fenty Beauty products in nearly a month, or in 38 days to be exact - but who's counting? (Just kidding, let's be serious, we all are.)
While we haven't been given any additional information just yet, with the line hitting Sephora stores in a month, there's no way Rihanna won't be dropping more hints about the amazing products we can expect soon - but until then, we'll just be dreaming of achieving this ~look~ which was apparently created entirely with Fenty Beauty products:
Disney films are the stuff of our childhood—full of charming princes, animal sidekicks and magical fairy dust. But some Disney characters are totally the realest, and now that I'm older I can appreciate their sass and subtweets. Here are 18 times sassy Disney characters acted like my inner diva and threw some serious shade.
1. This sly comment
2. You're ugly AF but…
3. When your BFF drunk dials her ex
4. When someone tells you something you don't want to hear
5. Boi bye
6. When someone dares to inconvenience you
7. Let me love myself
8. lol just telling it like it is
9. That's all
10. This A+ logic
11. Actual footage of me gossiping with my friends, TBH
12. Questioning your friends' choice in boys like
13. "But that will hurt her feelings"
14. When you need to be in control
15. This attitude
16. Meeting new people like
17. When they complain about the restaurant you chose
While being Kylie Jenner certainly has its perks (like having your own TV show, wearing amazing clothes and launching your own super-successful beauty line before the age of 20), there are definitely some drawbacks too - and apparently, not getting to go to your own high school prom is one of them.
As E! News reports, Kylie opens up about being bummed about not having that *iconic* teenage prom experience in the latest trailer for her upcoming show Life of Kylie. ICYMI, Kylie made the super sweet move of attending prom with Sacramento high school student Albert Choa after the girl he originally asked to be his date rejected him.
In the clip, which shows her trying on dresses to go to prom with Choa last April, Kylie's stylist asks her why she never went to her own prom the first time around.
"I was home schooled," Kylie says in the trailer. "It was really sad actually. I had to un-follow all my friends that I went to school with. They probably all thought I hated them but I just couldn't see it, you know, because they would always post photos and they were all at the prom and I was like, 'Can't see it.' It really just made me sad."
While Kylie has obviously gotten to do some cool things, it's understandable that she'd have at least some FOMO about the "normal" high school experiences she missed out on - but luckily, we'll get to see her finally get her prom experience when the show premieres on August 6. And I mean, considering the amount of times she's walked the red carpet, who's the real winner here?
As I prepared to pack up the car and jet home during the final days of school, I found myself balking at the prospect of my already lengthy to do list. My summer had not even begun and I was stressing about where I could find part-time work, what to do if I didn’t score that coveted internship and if there were any classes I needed to take to get ahead in my major. But during my first week at home scouring for 'Help Wanted' signs and fretting over internships disappearing before my eyes, I had a much needed revelation. I stepped back and I asked myself, “Why?”
Whywas I pushing myself so hard? Why was I feeling just as stressed as during final exams? Why did I feel the need to meet everyone’s expectations but my own?
Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find reasonable answers to any of these questions. So I made a definitive decision: I would prioritize myself and my mental health this summer.
Without the cyclical repetition of work, class, clubs, other responsibilities and failing to fit in a social life, I had the opportunity to analyze myself and feed my soul. I didn’t know how much I needed that until the semester ended and I was knee-deep in the same anxious mindset as before. So, instead, I decided to use the summer to reconnect with family, try new things, improve my physical and mental health and work on a passion of mine: Writing. But regardless of your degree of involvement, prioritizing your mental health should be at the top of your list, and there are four surefire ways to get you started.
1. Return to your interests
During the semester, there isn’t a lot of time to pursue personal interests. Summer break offers an opportunity to return to favorite hobbies and other activities beyond the college setting. During school, I didn't have time to catch up on my lengthy reading list and bake. They were both also meditative actions with a healing aspect, something I needed after a hectic semester. After all, hobbies are hobbies because you enjoy them, and enjoyment in anything you do should never be taken for granted.
2. Reconnect with family
The connections we make are invaluable, but even in the excessively social world we live in, solid ones can be hard to find. I am not able to visit members of my extended family often, so to be able to see them filled a void I didn’t know I had. Reaching out to grandparents, cousins, and even close family friends helped ground me in a world that is constantly spinning from one thing to another. When you are away at school and surrounded by campus life, it is easy to forget those you leave behind. Maintaining connections boosted my spirits mentally and emotionally.
3. Find what moves you
Have you always had a secret passion for photography? Do you daydream about selling your first piece of artwork? Are these ambitions cast by the wayside when the semester rolls around? For me, my outlet has always been writing. As a science major in school with numerous other obligations, I didn’t have the opportunity to partake in much creative writing. When I can’t write as often as I need to, I feel angry and rigid. Using the summer to practice and hone my writing skills worked wonders on my mental health. I felt calmer, more focused and less anxious. Finding what moves your soul to dance benefits your mind, your heart and your life. Find what inspires you. Be bold enough to allow yourself the chance to explore it.
4. Spend time with yourself
Seriously. There is nothing you will value more than knowing exactly who you are, what you want and where you want to go. If you're feeling stuck, if you are in a mental rut or if you are experiencing the infamous existential crisis, take some time out of each day and get to know yourself. I have prioritized myself more than I ever have this summer by taking myself out for ice cream, taking myself on walks and taking myself shopping. Spend time alone with your thoughts. A lot of time. You might just surprise yourself.
Summer is an open time of opportunity, but it is important to be mindful of how you fill three months between semesters. If internships, jobs and summer classes are necessary or right up your alley, by all means, pursue them. But prioritizing yourself during the summer is just as valuable. Read a book, chase a dream you are passionate about, refine your baking skills, get your money’s worth and more out of that Netflix subscription. Work and stress will be waiting for you after college. And most of all, don’t feel guilty about a much-needed recharge. It's your life before anyone else’s, and nobody has a say about it but you.
If you’re lucky enough to have people that really care about you in your life, you will never feel like you are going through anything alone. People close to you feel your pain, your happiness, and want to be there through everything in between. If you’re really lucky, though, these people will really want to be there through everything, including things you really would just rather do alone. Most of the time we don’t realize we were born with at least one of these people—our parent. One of the many things they’re there for upon invitation or not—the college process.
While you were working on homework, projects, and building resumes these past years, they were working on you. They want to see their work pay off just as much as you do. Parents’ involvement in the college process can become daunting, though, adding even more pressure to not only please schools but parents as well. Here’s what to do to let your parents know that this is the case—that they’re a little too involved in the college search and decision process.
1. Properly assess the situation
In high school, it can sometimes feel like your parents are too involved in your life. “Parents should be simply overseeing the process," says Brian Sieber, a counselor at The Philadelphia High School for the Creative and Performing Arts. "Although I believe it is beneficial for parents to voice their support and opinion, their role should be a resource. Students should be doing all the hands-on work themselves—especially when it comes to direct communication. There is nothing worse than a parent who keeps calling me when the student is down the hall and could be asking me the question themselves.”
There are countless students applying to your colleges of choice. The goal is to stand out one way or another, and with everyone submitting a stellar application, it becomes much easier to stand out negatively. Phone calls from a parent and evident parent involvement are some of the easiest, unintentional ways to do so. If your parent insists on contacting the counselor or other related official, suggest they ask what they believe the parents’ role should be; the person is bound to respond in your favor.
College is all about moving on with independence and an eagerness to learn; the opposite is reflected through your parent assisting you with each step to get there… but are you letting them?
2. Initiate actually taking control yourself
When your parents provide a list of schools to apply to, do you already have your own? Before your parent called the school, did you offer to do so yourself? If the answer is “no” to these questions, your parents probably don’t realize they’re overstepping. Parents often worry they aren’t doing enough, so try telling them they’re doing more than enough before complaining about it.
“I truly appreciate all of their support, but they wanted to choose the schools that I applied to, how I phrased my personal statement, and even the order of bullet points in my resumes,” says Rachna Shah, a freshman at Dartmouth. “I was able to convince them that my application needs to be my own voice, [but] I also compromised with [them], applying to certain schools based off of their recommendations.”
Parents inevitably take some sort of position in the process, but since it is centered around you, the applicant, it’s your responsibility to assure your parent they’re doing their part and that they’ve raised you to have the judgment they want to be applied to each decision making stage.
Complaints can outweigh communication in the exchange between the stress-induced applicant and parent, the often astronomical price of tuition not making it easier on either. It's difficult to break the news that you’re feeling suffocated by your parents if they will be the ones providing the financing.
A subtle yet explicit way to express feeling overwhelmed is to ask your parents to agree to one day of the week where you discuss college. “And ONLY one day a week. This brings the stress level way down,” says Scott White, a college counselor at Montclair High School.
This will allow you both to really indulge in less combative conversation and express all of your well formulated thoughts, given that you’ve refrained from doing so the rest of the week.
If your parents are still making you feel like a passenger in the process after declaring this designated discussion period, you’ll have to tell them you want to be the driver. Share with them how your teachers and counselors reinforce the importance of taking responsibility and determining the fate of your own future at this time. You can even share your own findings and articles with them.
Chris Teare, a Columbia graduate and now admissions director, says it’s imperative that “the essay or personal statement [sounds] like a 17 or 18-year-old wrote it. Where guidance and help from concerned parents, teachers, and counselors are concerned, the essay must be your own, no one else’s. I know what sounds natural. So does everyone in college admissions. We have well-tuned ears.”
Teare's advice shows the importance of keeping a consistent, authentic voice throughout the application that can’t be achieved with too much parent intervention; finding input from reputable individuals like this will surely support your argument. They usually provide contacts, too—don't be afraid to reach out to a professional who's already made themselves an online source.
4. Outline both of your responsibilities
After respectfully requesting control over the driver’s seat, you should outline which responsibilities you want to take on yourself compared to those you want your parent to help with. You may want to ask them to look over all completed parts of the application, do research, handle FAFSA, or other tasks that make them more of an assistant but are also necessary.
Convey how much you value and require their emotional and financial support, as well as their personal preferences and requests regarding how you navigate the college process. Have you told your parents what it is exactly that you want for the future? They should know your goals, ambitions, and how you wish to attain them through college, even if you feel the restrictions they place upon your choices limit your aspirations. If they do, express that you feel suppressed, and ask for more explanation regarding their preferences.
Emphasize how you wouldn’t be able to go through the process without them, but draw the boundary where their participation remains beneficial. It’s important to express gratitude.
5. Imagine the opposite
Your parent’s involvement may be adding to your stress, but imagine if it were the other way around.
“I wish my parents were more involved in my college process. It was so stressful, it took away from my performance in anything else that required my attention during that time,” says Drew Lofaro, a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania. “I felt extremely alone, but I ended up getting into Penn. It was rewarding, going through the process alone meant doing endless research and other indirectly related things that my parents could have been doing. Although it paid off, it’s a really difficult time to even think back on.”
Parents just want to see their work pay off, too. Reassure your seemingly or actually meddling parent that they can trust the ability of their greatest work—you.
After accurately assesing your situation, initiating taking control, and clearly communicating the outined responsibilites of each of you, you should feel less of a burden. You'll probably feel more of a burden as far as the work goes, but that's how it should be and what you wanted! Don’t forget, this means regularly going into the counselor’s office yourself, waiting in the line of students who also don’t want their parent to call.
In the meantime, trust that your college application and admission process will all work out the way it's meant to be. Good luck, pre-collegiettes!
Whether you were interning from 9 to 5, waiting tables or perfecting your tan by the pool, those three months of summer seemed to drag on forever without your best friends, favorite restaurants and wild college parties. But don’t despair, collegiettes; school is back in session. And not only is it a new semester, it’s fall semester. And fall semester is the most awesome time of the year. Here are a few reasons why (actually, 33):
1. It’s a fresh start. It’s a new year, which means a clean slate. Fall semester is the best time to reinvent yourself into the ultra-studious, ultra-fun, ultra-collegiette you’ve always wanted to be, or just to keep improving on the awesome collegiette you already are.
2. Seeing your friends again. Be prepared for a lot of screaming, running hugs and squealing, because you’re back with your best friends again after a long summer break and you can’t wait to start having collegiette fun together again.
3. Catching up on summer stories. Annie interned at Google, Emily had a super-hot summer fling with that dark-haired lifeguard from her work, and Beth visited New York City where she actually saw Ryan Gosling in a restaurant (or a blonde lookalike, at least). Clearly you’ve got some summer gossip to share.
4. Fall fashion. A new school year is the best time for a wardrobe refresher, and we’ve already picked out the latest fall trends that we want to show off this semester (in case anyone forgot how stylish we were over summer break). Who doesn’t love an excuse to go shopping?
5. Back-to-school events. Most schools have a few days to get students acclimated and excited to be on campus before class starts (usually called Welcome Week or something similar), and these can be full of concerts, outdoor movies, and informational sessions — all for students. And did we mention they’re usually free? Take advantage of them; remember, your college budget starts now…
6. Free stuff! Free stuff everywhere! Welcome Week typically has an event where student organizations will give you free t-shirts, Frisbees, sunglasses, food, you name it to persuade you to sign up for their club. Not only is free stuff awesome, but Welcome Week might also help you find a fun organization to join that you had never heard of before (ski and snowboard club? Cool!). Just try not to write your name down on too many sheets of paper or your e-mail inbox will be dreadfully full before class even starts.
7. Being free of your parents. Yes, you’re free of your parents for spring semester, too, but you were at home for winter break for like, three weeks. This was three months. Three months of curfews and nagging. We love you, Mom and Dad, but we missed our freedom.
8. Buying a ton of back-to-school stuff. Because even notebooks and laundry detergent can give you a shopper’s high. The best way to start off a new year is buying a lot of new things!
9. Fall semester is perfect for starting your new year’s resolutions. Who decided January was a good month for that, anyway? Why would you start your vow to go to the gym twice a week or chat up that hot guy in your psych class when the school year is halfway over when you can start now?
10. New exercise classes at the gym. (Speaking of those new year’s resolutions…) Did last year’s group exercise schedule bore you so much that going to the gym just became so banal (totally why you stopped going… or never started in the first place)? Never fear, a new exercise class schedule is here! And look, that combo kickboxing-Zumba-yogalates class fits perfectly in your fall schedule! Now you have no excuse not to get healthy this year.
11. The first week of classes. Wait, classes? That was one thing we didn’t miss over the summer. But the first week, otherwise known as “Let’s Read the Syllabus Then Leave After 10 Minutes” week, lets you ease into your academic life (ugh) a little more smoothly.
12. Start of the year parties.“Let’s Read the Syllabus Then Leave After 10 Minutes” week goes perfectly with lots of wild back-to-school parties. No homework means more time to have fun! For a week, anyway.
13. New guys. A magical thing happens every fall on college campuses: a whole new crop of freshman guys arrive, ready to save bored collegiettes from their man-droughts. And even if you may be nervous about dating a younger man, think about all the hot new transfer students and new guys in your classes that you haven’t met before. Microeconomics just got a whole lot more interesting.
14. New friends. So that hot guy in your microeconomics class ended up already having a girlfriend (ouch). But why not talk to that hilarious girl who sits on the other side of you in class instead? A new year means new classes with new people who could have a lot in common with you, such as a love for Darren Criss and late-night ice cream runs.
15. Sorority rush. For those GDIs out there, rush might be more of a headache than anything else, but for girls interested in the Greek system, rush is an exciting introduction to hundreds of girls who could become your new BFFs.
16. Football games. Dressing up (or painting up) in your school’s colors, waving pom-poms like your life depends on it, screaming at the refs and cheering on your team until your throat hurts; there’s nothing quite like college football. Even if you can’t tell the difference between a cornerback and a quarterback, anyone can appreciate spending a sunny Saturday cheering on your school with your best friends. Go State!
17. Tailgating. With football comes tailgating, and with tailgating comes delicious food, beer and lots of cute guys. Need I say more?
18. At first, the dining hall food doesn’t seem too bad. At first.
19. New digs. A new year means it’s time for a new dorm or apartment that’s (hopefully) not a 25-minute walk from your classes like last year and (hopefully) doesn’t smell quite as weird as your old dorm did.
20. A new living space means new décor. And lots of DIY — yay for Pinterest! Or Target, if you’re not that crafty.
21. A new roommate. Remember how much your roommate’s sexiling habits and overflowing trash can drove you nuts last year? Guess what: she’s finally gone. Hallelujah!
22. A new RA. He’s kind of hot, too… and just down the hall…
23. Fall TV shows. Time for weekly viewing parties with your dormmates (and lots of popcorn).
24. Falling leaves. Red and orange leaves + the quad = a perfectly picturesque campus worthy of an admissions brochure. Ahh.
25. Holiday drinks at Starbucks. We missed you, pumpkin spice lattes. And the red cups are just so much cuter than the white ones!
26. So. Many. Breaks. There’s fall break, Thanksgiving break and winter break, which is way more time off of papers and exams than that measly couple days you get for spring break next semester.
27. Fall weather. It’s not too hot and not too cold (all you need is a light jacket!); fall weather is perfect for playing Frisbee on the quad, starting an outdoor exercise routine and walking home from a night out without freezing your butt off.
28. Halloween. Don’t you miss dressing up in costumes and eating a ton of candy every Halloween as a kid? You’re in luck — in college, going out on Halloween dressed like a flapper or a witch or a Transformer that can actually morph between car and robot (yep, it’s been done) is cool again. Halloween is the one night a year where the entire campus comes together to don the craziest costumes you’ve ever seen and throw the craziest parties you’ve ever been to.
29. Homecoming. Concerts, parties, football, a new Homecoming Queen and King and lots of cute old people walking around campus talking about their former hangouts and favorite college memories. One day, that’ll be you…
30. Thanksgiving break. Remember how the dining hall food tasted good “at first”? Welcome to your first home-cooked meal in three months. Our mouths are watering already.
31. Black Friday. Your back-to-school wardrobe finally feeling a little dull? Time to get up at 5 a.m. (or 3 a.m.… or 12 a.m.), down a ton of coffee and duke it out with a lot of sleep-deprived people over sweaters and jeans with triple-super-markdown prices. Then take a nap. Then eat leftovers.
32. Tacky Christmas sweater parties. Now you can tell your grandma how much you loved wearing her Christmas present to you and actually mean it.
33. Winter holidays. It’s the most wonderful time of the year! And nothing says festive quite like a dorm decorated with red and green lights, a mini Christmas tree, blue and white streamers, or a silver menorah.
Excited yet? We are! Get ready — something tells us this fall semester is going to be seriously epic.
This year in politics has been rough, but your hands don't have to be. NastyHands, founded by a team of badass female entrepreneurs in New York, is keeping their customers moisturized in the name of political involvement. NastyHands sells a moisturizing and fragrant hand cream "ideal for resistant hands" for $15 at www.nastyhands.com. The pocket-sized hand cream is the perfect accessory to pack for "all of the sign-carrying, glass-ceiling-shattering and opinion-piece-penning you might do in a day," according to their website.
NastyHands hand cream goes beyond just the moisturizing, though. The company donates 100 percent of the net profits from the hand cream sales to organizations that promote various social causes. During checkout, you can select to send your donation to benefit ACLU, Hetrick Martin Institute, and NARAL Pro-Choice America.
Let's be real—Lauren Conrad's journey to motherhood has been nothing short of #goals. From the sweet way she shared the news of her pregnancy, to her baby bump debut, to the charming gender reveal, to the cross-stitched birth announcement, every step has been picture perfect. Now we've finally got pictures of the super cute Liam James Tell, thanks to PEOPLE, and Lauren is sharing a few behind-the-scenes details.
“I always hoped I would have a boy,” she revealed to PEOPLE. “Boys are so fun. I was a tomboy, and I always play best with boys. When we found out, I was so excited.”
Lauren and husband William decided to find out the gender of their baby for a pretty basic reason: peace of mind! "I like to have all the information," she explained. "And I was sharing my body with someone—so I wanted to know as much as possible about him.”
Since Liam is less than a month old, it might be too soon to guess whether he'll take after mom or dad, but Lauren thinks he looks like “sort of a combo of both." She added, “He definitely looks like William. But he’s still so tiny it’s hard to tell!” Either way, he's adorable.
"I’m already stressing out because I want him to stay this tiny and I know he won’t," she said. "So I’m just trying to enjoy how itty-bitty he is.”
And it sounds like another itty-bitty bundle of joy might be in store for the Tell family. Lauren admitted, “I was looking at him the other day, and I was like, ‘I understand now why people keep having babies!’ We’ll probably have two. I think it’s best not to be outnumbered.”
Lauren also explained why she and William waited almost three years after their wedding to become parents. “We wanted to enjoy being married and to really be in the right space. We took our time, so it was something to look forward to.”
Some things are worth the wait. This beautiful baby and his cute first photos definitely were.
Sorry, Zigi fans, but there's no baby on board for the couple just yet. False rumors spread via Twitter earlier this week that Gigi Hadid was expecting her first child with boyfriend Zayn Malik, reports Us Weekly.
A concerned fan reached out to Gigi's mom, Yolanda Foster, to question a tweet that was circulating online.
Turns out someone posted a fake comment that looked like it came from Foster, which read, "I will be a proud grandma in eight months.... Life is a blessing." The model's mama was quick to explain that if her daughter was pregnant, Gigi would be the one to share the news.
No of course not, if my daughter was pregnant she would be the one to announce it not me https://t.co/4iFx7NXfdK
While Hadid and Malik are always in the public eye,Zayn has said he doesn't like being referred to as a "power couple." He previously told the Evening Standard, "That’s not something I want to be a part of. I’m with her because I like her and I hope she’s with me because she likes me."
It’s late on a Saturday night and you just hit the winning shot of your final game of beer pong. You look up and, as Andy Samberg so aptly put it, “lock eyes from across the room” with none other than your latest crush. You two chat for a while, he ends up walking you home, and you thank your lucky stars that the room is empty when you get there. You pull him inside, and only come back out to stick a scrunchie on the doorknob, officially sexiling your roomie for the night.
Whether you’re the perpetrator or the victim of sexiling, it’s an aspect of many collegiettes’ lives. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t proper etiquette that goes along with it. Check out these rules and expectations of being both the sexiler and the sexilee to avoid any unnecessary tension between you and your roommate this year.
The etiquette of sexiling
Discuss it
The most important part of having the freedom to sexile your roommate is discussing it with her beforehand. Whether you have a boyfriend and know that it will be a somewhat frequent occurrence or you’re expecting to have a few one-night stands or a semi-frequent hook-up buddy, it’s necessary to talk about what both of your expectations are.
Make sure to discuss how often your roommate will allow this, how you’ll communicate to her that it’s happening (it can be a text, the classic aforementioned scrunchie, a winky face drawn on your white board, etc.), how late your guest can stay in the morning if it’s a sleepover, what happens if you both want the room and whatever else you two think is essential to know.
“You and your roommate should set limits,” says Sara, a collegiette at Kenyon College. “As in, like you absolutely don't want to be sexiled two nights out of one weekend.”
It may seem awkward to start this conversation, but your roommate probably wants to know your opinions on the topic as much as you want to know hers. Make sure you get it out of the way at the beginning of the year so that nothing happens that one of you really isn’t okay with before you get a chance to have the discussion.
Clearly this isn’t always possible, but whenever you know for sure that you’re going to be having someone over for a hook-up sesh, give your roommate some time to plan ahead. It will be much easier for her to find someplace else to hang out if she knows you want the room for a few hours before your desired alone time.
This is definitely necessary if you have a long-distance boyfriend who is going to visit you for entire weekends. Make sure your roommate knows about these visits as soon as you do so that she can find someplace to sleep. It’s unfair to expect her to not be in the room for three days with just a few hours notice.
Even if you’re hooking up with someone at a party and decide spur of the moment to bring him back to your room, text your roomie to give her a heads up.
Coordinate
Figure out what each other’s daily schedules are and if possible, plan accordingly. Have your boy over when you know your roommate is going to be at class or home for the weekend. Again, this will only work if you have a pre-planned guest, but it will make it so your roommate isn’t awkwardly waiting somewhere for you to be done.
Also, if you have a dorm that is more than one room, use it to your advantage.
“If you are worried about it, get the apartment-style dorm with locks on the bedrooms and the sexiled roommate can chill in the main room. That's what was nice about my freshman dorm,” says Andy Bensch from San Francisco State University.
That way, your roommate at least has someplace of her own she can hang out while she waits to get back into the bedroom.
Reciprocate
If you’re prepared to sexile your roommate, then you definitely also have to gracefully accept being sexiled in return. This means that if you’ve ousted your roommate from the room the past two weekends and she brings home a guy, you better be ready to get out of there.
“In my case I've had the same boyfriend freshman to senior year and luckily my friends liked him and didn't mind if he was around a lot,” says Sarah. “So when they had someone they wanted privacy with, I was more than happy to return the favor.”
Being roommates means making these types of compromises to ensure that everyone stays happy and tense situations are avoided.
Be respectful
Last, but certainly not least, demonstrating basic human courtesy is always important. When you have someone over, keep your activities to your side of the room. Don’t go anywhere near her bed. In fact, you should probably steer clear of all of her stuff. Finally, before she comes back, clean up all the evidence. No one wants to deal with the remnants of someone else’s sexcapades, no matter how close you two are as roomies.
The etiquette of being sexiled
Have a plan
If your roommate is someone who either has a boyfriend or frequently enjoys bringing home her flings, it’s essential that you establish a reliable place that you can crash for the night. Whether it’s with one of your friends or your own boy-toy, having a back-up place to sleep is necessary in college.
There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having to sleep someplace like the study lounge. Or even worse, insisting on staying in your room and trying to fall asleep to the hook-up noises emanating from a bed that is literally only five feet away from you.
“It’s always the most awkward if you haven’t been sufficiently warned,” says Dawn from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “I’d always prefer being told rather than laying in my bed while my roommate pretends to just be sleeping, restlessly.”
So make sure to find that extra bed, futon or at least floor space you can spend the night when your roommate is busy getting busy. If all else fails, get creative!
“Improvise,” says Nicole from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “My roommate once moved her mattress out to the living room of our dorm when my boyfriend was in town.”
If this won’t work with the way your dorm is set up, try making a deal with a friend who is not your roomie to always let each other crash in the other’s room if one of you is sexiled.
Check in the next morning
You wake up the morning after being sexiled and want go back to your room. But wait! First, you’re going to want to check in with your roommate to make sure her guest is gone. Shoot her a text or give her a call before heading back because you accidentally walking in on some morning-after fun will be unpleasant for everyone involved.
If you text and she doesn’t reply, try giving her a little more time if you’re in no rush. But if you really have to get back into your room, feel free to go knock on the door.
Don’t be selfish
Being a good roommate means being cooperative. If your roommate is sexiling you night after night, you have a legitimate reason to be upset and you should talk to her about it. But if it’s only every once in a while, you should be reasonable. Sexiling is a typical aspect of dorm life and as long she’s not abusing her privileges, try to be easygoing about it. And of course, you’ll want her to return the favor.
However, if it ends up being a repetitive issue, try talking to your RA about it.
“My freshman year roommate sexiled me several times,” says Alexa from James Madison University. “Her boyfriend from back home decided to surprise her at school for what originally was a weekend but ended up being the entire week. At the end of the seventh day I confronted her and said he had to go or I was going to get the RA involved.”
There you have it! By following these etiquette rules for sexiling and being sexiled, you’ll be able to have a good time without starting World War III with your roomie. Get out there, have fun and be safe, collegiettes!
If you're an avid watcher of MTV reality shows, you probably saw the network's latest series, Siesta Key, which follows 22-year-old Alex Kompothecras and his friends in Siesta Key, Florida, where they do exactly what reality stars do: party. The series just premiered Monday night, but there's already more drama happening off-screen than on-.
Alex is the son of chiropractor Gary Kompothecras, founder of 1-800-ASK-GARY, a legal and medical referral service, Cosmopolitan reports. Gary decided that his son and his posse would make for a great reality show, so he hired the executive producer of Laguna Beach to make it happen. MTV picked up the show, and the rest is history. Uh, what?
Gary told the Sarasota Herald Tribune how it all happened. "I go, 'You guys are really having a hell of a lifestyle.' I said this would be a good reality show. Plus, they're good kids, so that was the main thing, they weren't bad kids. I said this would be a good story because when I was growing up, you had Father Knows Best, you had My Three Sons, you had people with values, and I didn't see that in the TV of late."
Good kid? Values? Well, I don't know if Gary realizes, but his son is receiving death threats because of a viral video that allegedly shows him and others dragging a shark on a boat (other disturbing photos of "animal misconduct" have reportedly been found, too). Alex has also been linked to racist social media posts. Unsurprisingly, all this drama surrounding Alex's actions has caused many to boycott Siesta Key.
While we wait for events outside the show to unfold, I can't help but wonder if MTV will cancel Siesta Key before it even really begins. One thing's for sure: You can count me out.
