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Ask a Collegiette: The Truth About Boyfriends in College

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Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!

Are boyfriends even existent in college nowadays? I've held off on high school relationships to save myself the teenage drama, but the older I get, the more I realize that most guys are just looking for casual hook-ups. There's always THAT girl who has a boyfriend all the time, but is there any hope for a genuine relationship for us normal girls? –Anna

Anna,

In short, the answer to your question is yes, boyfriends exist in college nowadays, and there are some guys who actually want a genuine relationship! College is known for being a hook-up haven, but not everyone is into keeping things casual, and some want an LTR (long-term relationship) just as much as you do.

I completely understand your reasons for avoiding high school relationships, since teenage drama and peers getting all up in your relationship grill can be totally annoying. Like, does it really matter if it’s been five dates and the relationship isn’t “Facebook official” yet? Everyone in high school seems to get super hyped over relationships, and it’s easy to do so since high school is often smaller than college and you see the same people all the time.

Since you’re thinking about how this will change in college, know that there are guys out there who feel the same way as you do. Sure, a lot of them might be looking for hook-ups, but others want actual serious relationships with awesome girls like you. You just never know, so give the guys you meet a chance. If you’re trying to spot them around campus, be on the lookout for guys who genuinely get to know you and are respectful. The ones who want to hold a good conversation with you generally aren’t looking for a simple hook-up. Try to get a feel for a guy’s personality through your conversations together, and if he respects you, he won’t be freaked out when you say you want something more serious. The timing for when you communicate that is totally up to you! If you find out your crush just wanted a hook-up, stay calm and tell him you weren’t looking just for that, since you wanted something more serious; don’t lower your expectations to please him. Like Jay-Z says, on to the next one!

I absolutely agree with you that there’s always that girl with a boyfriend at all times, but there definitely is hope for chronically single ladies like you and me, too! I’d try looking for prospects at places like class or extracurriculars, since you’ll already have things to talk about and maybe even common interests to discuss. These are better spots to begin to get to know a guy in comparison to a party, since you won’t need to worry about trying to hear him talk with all of the bright lights and club music in the background.

As long as you continue to respect and love yourself, know what you want in a relationship and set boundaries concerning how you want your relationship to progress, you’ll be totally fine. This doesn’t mean you’re going to meet Prince Charming during welcome week, but keep hope alive and you’re bound to meet some guys that are just as real and chill as you are.

To help aid in this process of transitioning to college dating life, make sure you get involved with activities on campus that interest you. By putting yourself out there and being yourself, you’ll attract some good guys who will be willing to listen to your desires for a relationship, and would be willing to get to know you before hooking up. Not every guy will have the same intentions, but keep your eyes open for the ones that will. Trust me, they’re out there. Good luck!

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10 Things NOT To Do On A Valentine's Day Date

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Long before it was immortalized as a sub-par romantic comedy, Valentine’s Day has been infamous for anxiety. There’s nothing like an evening of high expectations and commercialized intimacy to make us wish February 14th was just the day in 1912 when Arizona was admitted as the 48th state (look it up). But there’s no escaping the rose petals, romantic greeting cards and spike in chocolate sales—so here’s how to make it through. For your own sake, please don’t…

1. Bring a Friend

double dating double hook up two girls one guy cheating

No matter how much you want your crush to meet Amanda or hit it off with Lauren, leave the crew at home. “But they’re so fun!” Nope. They’re probably not. Even a double date is two too many. Sorry, but regardless of whether the thought of spending an extended amount of time alone with your date is a huge relief or provokes a nervous rash, this one is all you.

2. Reference Next Year’s Valentine’s Day

Nothing says, “I just went from having a good time to having premature anticipatory anxiety about the longevity of our relationship” like referencing a date that’s a year away. If an event is too far in advance to ask a friend what you should wear to it, you shouldn’t bring it up on V-Day.

3. Buy Him a Car

nice car

When a present escalates from a kind gesture to an uncomfortably outlandish statement of extravagance, everyone feels ill at ease.  Especially the salesperson he’s about to hunt down for convincing him that a teddy bear makes a perfectly fine gift.

4. Forget to Shave Your Legs

This is a common courtesy. I hope no explanation is necessary.

5. Make Elaborate, Inflexible Plans

Valentine’s Day is the New Year’s Eve of romance: it’s a night you wait all year for which, inevitably, leads to disappointment when things don’t go exactly as you dreamed (or scheduled meticulously in the shower). Don’t plan a night that will crash and burn if you’re fifteen minutes late to dinner or get a little bit lost on the way to the romantic view you’ve been scouting for sunset. Because if my own life is any indication, things will not go exactly as planned.

6. Pre-Game Dinnerbeer mug

No matter how nervous you are, don’t take a shot to loosen up. No matter how convincingly a friend urges you to grab a cocktail before the date, just say no. No matter how exciting the party down the hall sounds, don’t indulge in a pre-dinner drink (or three). Oh, and don’t overdo it on the wine at the restaurant, either.  

7. Ask for Extra Garlic on Your Mashed Potatoes

Garlic is a flavor much better enjoyed the first time around.  No need to order plain toast or pasta with olive oil, hold the Parmesan, but take it easy on the garlic butter prawns.

8. Cry

Of laughter, of sadness, of frustration, of anger, of happiness, of surprise or of joy.  Please… just don’t cry.

9. Suggest a Bad Movie

What’s that you say, you’re no longer attracted to me after seeing the 7:30 showing of Paddington or Jupiter Ascending? Don’t out yourself as a bad date by turning a romantic evening into an evening of The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water.

10. Talk About The Past

You can reference the distant past (“Hey, speaking of Abraham Lincoln…” or “Remember when Pokemon cards were cool?”) but steer clear of all not-so-distant history, like exes and, specifically, last year’s Valentine’s Day. That is, unless you’re lucky enough to be sitting with the same guy.

What to Watch on Netflix if You're Snowed In

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You may have lost power during the worst of Juno and had to resort to activities that don't require electricity, but now that it's all back in working order (we hope!), your Netflix-ing can resume to its normal (maybe heightened!) pace. If you've been snowed in and have yet another day—or more!—off from classes, now is the time to hunker down with the movies leaving Netflix this February.

1. Apocalypse Now and Apocalypse Now Redux 

Set in the 1960s at the height of the Vietnam War, this movie stars a young Martin Sheen in the role that would make him a breakout star. It tells the story of Captain Willard, a decorated soldier tasked with a top secret mission of locating, and consequently assassinating, the legendary war hero Colonel Kurtz, who has apparently gone off the deep end. Filled with visceral, graphic imagery, it is a terrifyingly realistic and heartstopping portrayal of the darker side of 'Nam. It is a movie that once you see, you will never be able to forget. Word of caution—it is not for the faint of heart. 

2. The entire Batman movie collection

No, this is not the Christopher Nolan trilogy, but these '80s and '90s gems have their own merits: what they lack in angsty hero plotlines, they make up for with horribly cheesy one-liners and epic costumes and cinematography. These movies cannot compare to the new ones, but nobody should be comparing them because they're glorious in their own right. We give special props to the first movie with Michael Keaton, simply titled Batman, not only because of Keaton's strong performance (despite sometimes campy dialogue), but also due to one of Jack Nicholson's most iconic characters. His Joker is goofy, loony, glamorous and ridiculous, yet still manages to be oddly frightening even with the level of comedy attached to the character. If you haven't seen it, you're missing out on a cult classic.

3. A treasure trove of James Bond films

Several classic Bond movies are scheduled to be deleted, including the Sean Connery classics Goldfinger and From Russia With Love. There's no need to elaborate on why you definitely need to watch these, even if you've already seen them a hundred times. It's James Bond—enough said! We're particularly sad to see A View To A Kill leave—you might find this Roger Moore incarnation a little ridiculous (as you might with all of his Bond films) but this movie features a very young Christopher Walken as the main villain, and what has to be the greatest Bond theme of all time: Duran Duran's '80s classic "A View To A Kill." You'll be sure to "dance into the fire" after you hear it! 

4. M*A*S*H 

Based on the bestselling novel of the same name by Richard Hooker, this one is another not-to-be-missed film. Also a war movie, this one is set in the midst of the Korean War, and tells the comedic yet serious tales of the M*A*S*H (short for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital) 4077 unit. Never a crazier, more wonderful bunch of people will you find, including the ever sarcastic Captain Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce (played by a young Donald Sutherland), "Trapper" John (Elliot Gould), and "Duke" Forrest (Tom Skerritt). The movie follows these young doctors as they distract themselves from the horror of war and all its casualties by administering a high dose of the best medicine possible: laughter. Incidentally the TV show M*A*S*H is rumored to be entering Netflix in the near future—keep an eye out for it, because as good as this film is, the show just might be ten times better.

5. Revenge

If you're one of those who will be very upset to know that this hit ABC drama will be departing instant streaming, you might need to settle down for a long viewing party. And if you haven't seen it before, it is most definitely a binge-worthy show. No sense in rehashing plots here—the title of the show is self-explanatory. Filled with plot twists, murder, love, and (you guessed it) revenge, this show is guaranteed to be a fun way to pass your snow day...or days, if you're lucky. 

So without further ado, put on your warmest onesie, grab the popcorn and hot chocolate, and enjoy!

7 Perfect Office-Ready Pieces for Curvy Girls

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Shopping for what to wear for your job or internship can be a struggle. Shopping for work clothes when you’re not a size zero? Even more challenging. You want to look professional and office appropriate, but you also want to show off your sense of style in clothes made to flatter your curves. The key is to create a career wardrobe that mixes both classic essentials, like the perfect blazer and pencil skirts, with on-trend pieces, all in silhouettes that flatter your body. The best part? We’ve done all the searching for you. Keep scrolling to see the seven essentials you need to chic-ify your workday wardrobe.

1. A work-appropriate LBD
 

Work-Appropriate LBD

Womens plus dress
eloquii.com

 

 

Knit dress
onestopplus.com

 

 

 

 

Black satchel handbag
dailylook.com

 

 

MANGO pocket tote
$34 - mango.com

 

The most versatile career piece you can have in your closet? The little black dress, but a version that’s more work-appropriate than your favorite LBD for a night out. It works for any season and can be styled in tons of ways – it’s the perfect go-to piece for those “I have nothing to wear!” days. Hurley says it’s also the perfect piece for curvy girls looking for a more streamlined silhouette, especially through the midsection.

“For areas that you want to look smaller, darker colors are good,” Hurley says. “I like to suggest to my clients that, especially if they carry more weight in their stomach area, they have a more monochromatic look through the stomach.”

The trick to making the piece work for the office is to look for longer lengths and a more covered-up silhouette at the top. We love this sheath dress from Eloquii, which has a flattering hourglass shape but has angular cutouts up top to add a cool-girl touch. Another great silhouette for curvy shapes is the fit-and-flare LBD, like this ponté knit dress from Jessica London, which will highlight your hourglass shape. Style with leg-lengthening black pumps and a black bag to go for the all-black look, or add printed, colorful accessories, like leopard pumps and a red bag, for a vibrant touch!

2. A well-tailored blazer

Well-Tailored Blazer

Plus size white coat
lanebryant.com

 

 

 

Quilted jacket
fashiontofigure.com

 

Like the LBD, the basic blazer is a work-wear staple that will never go out of style. Hurley says curvy collegiettes should add one to their wardrobes because of its versatility and flattering “V” shape.

“A blazer is one of the best things to make sure you have in your wardrobe because they go with everything,” Hurley says. “You can take a blazer and put it over a sleeveless top to make it appropriate for work.”

While we love a more oversize shape for off-duty looks, for the office, invest in a shape that has a more tailored waist and ends at the widest part of your hips, which looks more dressed up for the office. To flatter a curvy shape, Hurley recommends investing in a quality blazer to make sure it is tailored and structured enough to fit your curves correctly.

“The more structure it has, especially in terms of having seams along the waistline, the more it will create the look of a waist and be flattering,” Hurley says.

It’s all in the details: Tailored seams at the waist and pockets that slant slightly downward on this tailored jacket from Lane Bryant create the illusion of a narrower figure and emphasizes an hourglass shape. For the spring and summer months, it’s also great to have a white blazer on hand; we like this pretty quilted one. Want to really make a statement with your office wear? Try a fun color or pattern, like a floral blazer, which can brighten up a monochrome ensemble!

3. A perfectly cut pencil skirt
 

Perfectly-Cut Pencil Skirts

 

Pencil skirt
lanebryant.com

 

 

White skirt
torrid.com

 

Not a big fan of the pantsuit? A pencil skirt is a great way to look polished and professional without being boring! For work, it’s totally worth it to invest in a basic go-to pencil skirt in a quality fabric. Hurley says the key is to look for crisp fabrics that aren’t as stretchy or form-fitting as the pencil skirts you might wear for a night out, and to pay particular attention to the length.

“The most common mistake that curvy girls make is wearing their clothes too tight,” Hurley says. “Pencil skirts are great; the general best length is around the middle of the knee, or just above the knee at most.”

We like the side-zip detail on this skirt from Lane Bryant, which gives it a fashion-forward touch that still looks appropriate for the office. Also look for a wrap shape, like this leopard print wrap skirt, which are not only super on-trend but also flatter curvy shapes. Color-blocking details near the hem of the skirt in a bright color such as pink can also have the effect of balancing out curvy hips and streamlining your silhouette.

4. A pretty patterned dress
 

Pretty Patterned Dresses

Eloquii bodycon dress
$110 - nordstrom.com

 

 

White dress
lanebryant.com

 

 

Tight
lanebryant.com

 

 

For days when you want to add a pop of color into your office look, look no further than the patterned dress! It’s a great way to make a statement in a sea of blacks and grays, and it’s easy to throw on when you don’t feel like coming up with an outfit for the day.

“A patterned dress can be fun and young, and V-necks in particular are flattering,” Hurley says. “Then, make a solid-color blazer be the piece that will create the ‘V’ that will be flattering to curvy shapes.”

The fashion-forward print and pop of blue on this printed sheath dress is chic and statement-making, but the three-quarter-length sleeves and longer length make it great for work. The mixed prints of this Eloquii dress create a defined waist. Add black tights, a cute blazer and your favorite high-heel ankle booties to your printed dress pick. You’ll be the most stylish girl at the office!

5. Go-to pants

Go-To Pants

Short trousers
eloquii.com

 

 

 

Missguided print pants
missguidedus.com

 

 

Pants for the office doesn’t have to mean a boring, gray pantsuit! A great alternative? Straight-leg tailored pants that go with every top in your closet. Basic black is great to have on hand, but Hurley also suggests wearing lighter-colored pants with lighter tops to balance your silhouette.

“A lot of stores will sell darker-colored pants, and if you put a lighter top next to that dark-colored pant, you can end up creating an ice-cream-cone shape, when what you’re trying to do is look as much like a hourglass figure as possible,” Hurley says.

For basic black, we love the satin pockets on this tailored pant from ASOS, which add a stylish touch. For a lighter look, camel-colored pants are a great option. Want to go for a print to draw some attention to your legs? Try a pair of dogtooth-print trousers. Bonus: All of these pants match with your go-to blazer! Wear these pants with your favorite pair of pumps for a silhouette that will make your legs look killer.

6. A feminine blouse
 

A Feminine Blouse

Black button shirt
modcloth.com

 

 

 

 

Pocket jacket
lanebryant.com

 

For days when you want to add a girly touch to your office look, a floaty, feminine blouse is the perfect piece. Since it can easily be worn with a gray or black blazer and pencil skirt or pants, you can go all out with the pattern and colors. We like the look of a classic collared button-down shape, like this leaf-print blouse from Forever 21, layered under a chic jacket, which brings in the flowy look at the waist and keeps it from swallowing up your curvy shape. Other fun patterns to try? Snake print and polka dots are both cute and fun while still being conservative enough for the office.

7. A flared midi skirt

A Flared Mini Skirt

Panel shirt
modcloth.com

 

 

Midi skirt
eloquii.com

 

 

 

The midi skirt trend has been going strong for some time now, so why not incorporate it into your work wardrobe? The longer length makes it a great choice for the office, but the flared shape makes your waist look super tiny! Make a statement in a bright, fun hue like this green scuba midi skirt from Eloquii or in a spring-ready floral-print skirt. It looks super chic with ankle boots and a crisp white button-down to let the skirt stand out.


Above all, it’s important to wear what makes you feel comfortable at work. When you feel great, you’ll look great, which will give you the confidence to accomplish amazing things in your career.
 

Survive Any Storm in These Chic Custom Rainboots!

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Everybody knows that a reliable pair of wellies is a campus must-have. Whether you’re dealing with a full-blown snowpocalypse or a rainy day, keeping your toes toasty and dry is number one on your agenda. So why not look cute doing it?

That’s where Hollenberg Bros. comes in—we’ve teamed up with the brand to give away three pairs of monogram rainboots! In classic black, they’ll go with any outfit you might wear on campus, from casual leggings and a workout top to skinny jeans and a preppy button-up. But these aren’t just any pair of boots—they’re made just for you. You can get them personalized with your initials and choose from 15 different thread colors, so your pair is unique to you.

Snowed in? Enter below now for your chance to win one of 3 pairs of Hollenberg Bros. Monogram Rainboots—plus, get an exclusive 25 percent discount on these boots on Market36.com by entering code “HERCAMPUS” at checkout!

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5 Ways to Get a Valentine’s Day Date After College

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It’s that time of the year again when you see couples everywhere you go: holding hands on the subway, taking kissing selfies, cuddling in your airplane row, skating hand-in-hand in the park. Whether you like it or not, PDA is at an all time high in the winter, or at least it always seems to be. If you’re a single girl, seeing couples showing off their love for each other makes you want to curl up in bed and with a good Netflix show and never venture out into the real world again. We don’t blame you, but it doesn’t have to be that way! And no, you don’t have to resort to Tinder, either. If you aren’t in a relationship, here are five ways to get a date in time for V-Day.

1. Join a club

In college, there were endless opportunities to join extracurricular activities. Not only were they easily available, but you also had friends who were interested in joining the same activities. In the real world, there are no more club fairs or email reminders about this week’s rugby practice. You have to pursue your interests; no one is going to ask you to.

Fortunately, these clubs do exist in the post-college world, but you have to do some of your own research to find them. Check out posters at your local gym or flyers at the independent coffee shop on your block. Whether you’re looking for a book club or an intramural sports team, you’ll be instantly broadening your network and meeting new people, especially those who already have similar interests. If you hit it off with that cute guy in your salsa class, you might just have a chance at a Valentine’s Day date. 

“I got discouraged when I would go out to bars and meet guys, but never go out on dates,” says Kate Bennett, a graduate of Duke University who now lives in New York City. “One night I realized that I probably would not meet someone I would want to date at a bar anyway and would need to find someone elsewhere. When I followed my interests, which was volunteering at a nonprofit once a week, I met a great guy that I’m still dating.”

2. Go to the gym

You may think that you’re never going to get a date at the gym, of all places. You’re sweaty, listening to music and trying to focus on nothing but your workout. In actuality, the gym is a great place to find a date… you just have to step a little out of your comfort zone!

If you see someone at the water fountain or in your spin class, why not smile and say hello? Or if you want to try a new weight machine but aren’t sure how to use it, try asking the guy you’ve been eyeing to give you a hand. Striking up a conversation with a stranger can be difficult, especially when he’s in the middle of a workout, but you have nothing to lose: The guy is most likely going to help you out, and if he doesn’t continue to talk to you, so what? It’s better to put yourself out there than wait around for someone to approach you.

“I always thought guys wouldn’t approach me if I was sweating at the gym, but I was wrong,” says Kelsey, a recent grad living in Boston. “One day, when I finished running on the treadmill, this cute guy next to me said he was impressed with my running and he was just trying to keep up with me. He asked if I was training for anything, and we started talking. He happened to be training for the same half marathon. We hit it off and started to chat every time we saw each other at the gym. He got my number, we went on a date and started dating soon after.”

3. Become a regular

During the winter, it’s tempting to stay in with reality TV reruns and mouthwatering takeout, but this isn’t any way to find a date. Exploring different places is your best chance at finding new favorite spots that you can frequent. If you start going to the same coffee shop, bookstore or even bar, for example, you’ll begin to recognize other people who are also there often. Becoming a regular allows you to become comfortable in a place, which also opens you up to casually meeting new people.

If you keep seeing someone you’re interested in, say hello (eventually one of you will have to)! Luckily, you already have something in common. So despite your desire to stay in on a cold night, sometimes you just have to force yourself to bundle up and explore—you never know whom you might meet.

“I have a hard time talking to strangers, especially guys, when I’m out,” says Dana Stein, a Boston College graduate living in New York City. “Every bar I would go to I would have my friends with me, but it wasn’t fun meeting anyone new. Once I started going to this bar where I really liked to watch football every Sunday, a cute guy approached me that I had seen two times before. He commented on my T-shirt that said, ‘Go Broncos!’ because he was actually from Denver as well. We started talking and we ended up going on a few dates.”

4. Have your friends set you up

You may not have any friends that you could see yourself dating, but your friends probably have friends who could be potential matches for you. According to Match.com, 63 percent of married couples meet through a network of friends. While the goal is to get a date for Valentine’s Day and not necessarily plan a wedding (yet!), meeting someone through a friend is an easy place to start. Your friend knows your personality as well as the person he or she is matching you with, so he or she probably has some idea of whether or not you two would like each other. If you don’t want to go on a blind date with the person, ask your friend to invite a group of people over one night before committing to a date. That way there’s no pressure to match up with the guy or girl, but you’ll be in a comfortable setting to get to know him or her if you’re interested.

“I always wondered whether couples who met through friends were good matches or were together because of convenience—until my friend had a potluck dinner at her apartment,” says Cat Hagen, a Wake Forest University grad living in Boston. “My friend’s friend had brought his roommate, and I ended up talking to him the whole night. We’re still dating after six months. So it does happen!”

5. Give online dating a try

Okay, so online dating doesn’t have to be eliminated entirely if you’re looking for a V-Day date. While Tinder is infamous for hook-ups (though finding a date isn’t impossible), dating apps such as Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel are better ways to find a date who actually wants to get to know you. On Hinge, you match through mutual Facebook friends, the virtual way of meeting through a friend of a friend. On Coffee Meets Bagel, you list your interests, and each day at noon a new match is delivered to you, whom you can “Like” or “Pass.” If you’re meeting up with someone for the first time, try to avoid setting your first date for the 14—it’s better to establish some sort of connection before you celebrate Valentine’s Day together!

“I was using Tinder for awhile, but had the most miserable dates,” says Cornell grad Madeline Kleinman, who now lives in Philadelphia. “My friend told me about OkCupid, and while I thought it was a serious dating site for older people looking to get married, I was surprised to see young, cute guys in their twenties. I was messaging with one guy for a few weeks until we finally went on a date.”

Dating in college is undoubtedly different thandating in the real world, but it doesn’t have to be more difficult. If you’re not spending Valentine’s Day with a SO this year, you can still have a great time by following these tips to find a potential date (or just have a good time in the process, totally pressure-free!). You have just a few weeks left before Valentine’s Day comes, so go get out there in the post-college world and snag yourself an eligible bachelor or bachelorette!

Valentine's Day Makeup Inspired by Our Favorite Celebs

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The most romantic day of the year is right around the corner! Whatever excitement awaits you, we want you to look your best. We've assembled fun beauty looks courtesy of some of our favorite celebs that will help you radiate confidence the year. Don't be shy this Valentine's Day, try out a new look to spice up your date night!

1. Anna Kendrick’s slicked-back ‘do

Everyone's favorite crooner, Anna Kendrick, showed up to the premiere of her latest flick Into the Woods with a super sophisticated hairdo. Pin-straight locks are a chic alternative to the round brush curls or big waves that are a little too... typical. Part your hair down the middle and gently blow dry it back. Use a lightweight pomade like Healthy Sexy Hair Soy Paste ($17.95) to achieve the slicked-back look. Rub the gel between your fingers and gently apply to your hair a little at a time. Sweep your hair back with a smoothing brush and you're done!

2. Amal Clooney’s classy lip

Amal Clooney shows us that nothing quite beats a classic red lip. The trick to long lasting lip wear? Exfoliate first, and shape using lip liner. Use Elf Lip Exfoliator ($3) to prep lips and make them super smooth. Mac Ruby Woo ($16) is perhaps the most infamous red lipstick, but whichever shade you choose is up to you! The Body Shop Lip Liner in Beech ($10.50) is a perfect complement to your luxe red lip. And it will help define lips and keep color in place!

3. Lupita Nyong’o’s purple lips

Lupita rocked a purple eyeshadow look at the Golden Globes, purple hair at the Met Gala and now she's also sported purple lips—proving that classic red isn't the only way to go! The 12 Years a Slave actress proved she can do no wrong when she debuted this daring berry lip, which works beautifully with her skintone. There are, suprisingly, a ton of options when it comes to doing a purple lip. You can choose a muted berry shade like ULTA Matte Lipstick in Basically Berry ($8), or a vivid violet like MAC Cosmetics in Violetta ($16). Plus, purple lipstick is so versatile, it literally works with every skintone (seriously, we dare you to try it).

4. Katy Perry’s lush lashes

One thing we noticed something about the "Dark Horse" singer's beauty arsenal: Her lashes are always on point. There are a few ways you can achieve big, bold lashes. Mascara and an eyelash curler are the obvious choices. But, if you want more drama, falsies are a no-fail way to amp that flutter up. Ardell Natural Lashes ($2.99) are lightweight and resuable. They come pre-curled and are natural looking so you can even wear them everyday. 

5. Kylie Jenner’s contour

Sure, Kylie Jenner might be known for her voluptuous lips, but we think her contoured cheeks are just as gorgeous! According to Anastasia Soare, the starlet swears by her Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit ($40). Define and sculpt your features with the shade that best suits your skin tone, then highlight the tops of your cheekbones and brow bones. Remember that bronzer should go where shadows naturally fall on your face and highlighter goes where light naturally hits your face. With a little practice, you'll be looking like the sixth Kardashian sister in no time.

6. Emma Stone’s smoky eye

Emma Stone's smoky cat eye, similar to the smudged eyeliner look she wore in Birdman, is sexy and modern. Use a creamy eyeshadow base, like MAC Cosmetics Eye Shadow in Print ($16) and an angled brush like Bobbi Brown Angle Eyeshadow Brush ($30). Apply to eyelids and extend out past corner of eye. Use the angle of the brush to create a cat eye shape. Highlight at the eye crease and on your eyebrow bone to make your shadow pop. Keep the rest of your look fresh and simple so your dramatic eye look will blow your date away!

7. Christina Hendricks’ glowing skin

We think the Mad Men actress looks nothing but gorgeous every time she steps on the red carpet. One aspect of her red carpet beauty look is glowing skin. According to Hendricks' makeup artist Vanessa ScaliMakeup For Ever HD Blush ($26) is one of the the star's must-haves. The creamy formula blends smoothly onto skin, giving you a youthful glow. Apply with a fluffy brush on the apples of your cheeks. Your skin will thank you!

Which look will you be drawing inspiration from this Valentine's Day?

UPenn Student's Suicide Note is Heartbreaking

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Madison Holleran, a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania, was a popular track star who was academically among the top of her class. Last year, on January 17, 2014, Madison shocked the UPenn community and those close to her when she committed suicide by jumping off a parking garage.

Her parents released her suicide note on January 22, 2015. In it, Maddy, as she was called by her friends and family, explained, "I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out, and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in." In the letter, she also left gifts for her family; she gave her mother necklaces, her grandparents GingerSnap cookies, a friend The Happiness Project, and her father, chocolate. In an earlier draft of her suicide note that was found in her dorm room, Maddy wrote, “I don’t know who I am anymore. trying. trying. trying…I’m sorry. I love you…sorry again…sorry again…sorry again…How did this happen?” Just an hour before her death, Madison posted a picture of lights at Rittenhouse Square.

Madison’s father said that she was having a hard time adjusting to UPenn's high academic standards, but she was successful in meeting those demands both socially and athletically. Stacy Holleran, Madison’s mother, said that she was shocked when Madison originally came to her in December of 2013, articulating her thoughts about self harm and her depression. Mrs. Holleran immediately set her up with a mental health professional and over her holiday break, Madison appeared to recover slightly. Only a few weeks after the break was over, though, Madison experienced a rapid deterioration.

The Hollerans have experienced a rush of support from those who knew Madison and those who were touched by her story. They have created The Madison Holleran Foundation to assist high school seniors and college freshmen experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts as well as established a scholarship at her high school in her name. 

Her parents released the suicide note this month to raise awareness of depression and to prevent further tragedies like Maddy’s suicide from taking place again. 

Depression, self harm, and suicidal thoughts can affect anyone. It doesn’t matter how high your GPA is, what school you go to, your socioeconomic class, your race, or how involved you are socially or co-curricularly. If you’re experiencing depressive thoughts, reach out to someone—your resident advisor, family, friends, a spiritual leader, the counseling center at your school, or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. 


36 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single on Valentine’s Day

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This time of year, it seems that love is in the air... just not the air that you’re breathing. Before you go hunting for whatever love potion your peers seem to have gotten their hands on this Valentine’s Day, take a moment to stop, reflect and relish the fact that you won’t be spending your afternoon cutting out paper hearts (hello, carpal tunnel) or worrying about lipstick smudges (because nothing says, “Kiss me” like rouge-stained teeth, right?). Not convinced that you’re better off? These reasons to celebrate the single life on V-Day just might change your mind:

1. You don’t have to worry about braving that blizzard to go shopping for a special V-Day date outfit.

2. The aforementioned V-Day date outfit would likely cost as much as a few days’ worth of food, and you’re on a college budget. Plus, you’re hungry.

3. You’ll convince yourself in the dressing room that you’ll wear said V-Day date outfit more than once, but let’s be real: Where are you going to wear that sparkly red cocktail dress? Class? What is this, Pretty Little Liars?

4. Ryan Gosling has been in over 20 movies and you want to watch them all, which takes time, undivided attention and a large, tree house-style “No Boys Allowed” sign posted on your door to repel the non-believers.

5. Those heart-shaped candy boxes never hold as much chocolate as they seem to in the store, and you hate that awkward moment when you realize that there just aren’t enough to share. Not enough good ones, at least, which is basically the same thing.

6. Because you aren’t a sharer, period.

7. You can buy yourself roses at the florist and they won’t be any less special than that bouquet your roommate’s boyfriend bought her. It’s not like he picked them himself...

8. Pink just isn’t your color and, therefore, Valentine’s Day just isn’t your holiday.

9. Your best friend is panicking about what kind of present she should buy for her hook-up buddy, and you rejoice at the fact that you aren’t in her shoes. She doesn’t even know if she’s in a relationship, let alone if her boy-toy likes crewnecks.

10. Unfortunately, your best friend is wrong: her boy-toy doesn’t like crewnecks.

11. Taylor Swift's “Blank Space” is a freaking anthem. Sing it loud and proud.

12. You’re still exhausted from your last relationship and you just want to do you.

13. You missed last week’s episode of Girls and you finally have some time to yourself to watch it, or more accurately, some time to audibly point out all of the ideas that Lena Dunham stole from your own personal life (without anyone questioning your choices).

14. It’s a fine day for a fro-yo and a shopping spree. #treatyourself

15. The movie Valentine’s Day exists and was designed to make awkward V-Day alone time not awkward.

16. While watching Valentine’s Day, you get to enjoy your favorite flavors of man candy: Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Jamie Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, Topher Grace, Taylor Lautner and Ashton Kutcher.

17. Plus, that guy who plays Emma Roberts’s boyfriend who will probably be hot one day.

18. You also happen to have girl-crushes on Emma Roberts, Jessica Biel, Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, Queen Latifah, Taylor Swift, Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Garner, to name a few.

19. You have the freedom to watch the Taylor Swift/Taylor Lautner scenes on repeat in the hopes of pinpointing the moment they fell in love (others aren’t quite so jazzed by the idea). You still believe they belong together, TBH.

20. Valentine’s Day is infinitely better than New Year’s Eve, so this will be a vast improvement on your last movie night. Seriously, what were they thinking?

21. You still have blisters on your feet from those fabulous heels you wore last weekend (ahem, last night), and instead of wedging your toes into yet another death trap, you fully intend to give them some TLC by staying in and snuggling them up in some slippers.

22. Your friend is giving her boyfriend a well thought-out mix tape and he isn’t giving her anything. “Oh, it’s Valentine’s Day?” you hear him say. “Oh, we’re at the gift-giving stage?” you hear him say. Facepalm.

23. You got 99 problems, but a frat bro ain’t one.

24. You have your eyes on that guy from sociology, and rumor has it he’s recently single.

25. You spotted said guy from sociology hanging out in the Student Union (since he also doesn’t have Valentine’s Day plans) and you’re already halfway through plotting your “chance encounter,” complete with flawless hair flip. It’s only stalking if you followed him there, right?

26. You’re certain that one day, Rob Reiner will use this “chance encounter” as the meet cute when he makes a blockbuster about your epic romance. You’re hoping this will lead to Twilight-franchise-style action figures.

27. “I hate chocolate,” said no one ever. Except your ex, last Valentine’s Day. #freeatlast

28. You know who else is celebrating the single life this V-Day? Taylor Swift. You’re no less lucky in love than even the most successful of women.

29. Your parents will be overjoyed when you tell them that you finally have free time to Skype them since your friends are out on dates. Suddenly you’ve regained your rightful status as the favorite child.

30. When you first turn on Skype and your dad barely recognizes you, you realize you probably should have done this weeks ago.

31. When you think back to Valentine’s Days past – several of which featured red- and pink-colored braces – you remember how lucky you are to be a beautiful collegiette with an entire campus full of single undergrads at your disposal. And more importantly, that you no longer have braces.

32. Because “serial dater” isn’t nearly so awful as “serial killer,” but you still don’t like the sound of it... especially when it’s used to describe you. Time for a break?

33. You aren’t a fan of heart-shaped goodies. It’s a cookie. It should be shaped like one.

34. The V-Day party will be filled with other singles, and you’re like a kid in a candy store.

35. You’re reading Romeo and Juliet in your Shakespeare class and that stuff is straight up depressing. You’re not really in the mood to be a star-crossed lover anytime soon. Please and thank you.

36. Because you aren’t the only single one out there. You just happen to be the best. Expect boys to be beating down your door by sundown.

 

Remember, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for the sweethearts of the world (though it’s probably nice for them, too). So put on “Single Ladies,” turn up your speaker, and get your celebratory, single-gal V-Day started right.

Everything We Know About Ashley S. From 'The Bachelor'

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America’s sweetheart, Ashley S., was sent packing by Bachelor Chris Soules this week, and even though we only knew her for a short four Monday nights, we can’t help but mourn the loss of her little crazy self. Everyone seems to have an opinion about Ashley’s wacky behavior, so we thought we’d take it upon ourselves to compile a list of everything we know about her. And just to throw this out there... we wouldn't be opposed to giving her a spin-off show...

1. She lives on her own planet

Remember when Ashley brutally murdered all those harmless zombie actors with her paintball gun? What was even worse was her interrupting Chris’s confessional to babble about we don’t know what and then laying down beside a cat on the ground.

2. She was super drunk the whole time

It all began with an onion…or should we say pomegranate. Who could blame her if she drank too much that first night—and every night thereafter—with all that free booze right at her fingertips? Those other two blonde girls whose names we’ve already forgotten did the same thing!

3. Chris’s handsomeness charmed her into a frightening obsession

This week Ashley’s antics were just too much for Chris. Yep, we’re talking about when she dropped the ‘L’ word into their camping convo. She even threatened to never let him go. So, are we sure she’s not stalking him now?

4. She was lying to stay in the game

In the same episode that she proclaimed her love for Chris, she also gave quite possibly the best exit interview we’ve ever seen. According to the Tinkerbell lookalike, who we’re guessing wandered around the mansion for at least a couple of hours before being forced into her exit limo, she feels “nothing” for Chris. And he is in total agreement. In his blog for People, he justified her flip-flopping attitude: “I wasn’t really flattered because I knew what she was saying wasn’t true; it was the full moon talking!” Don’t be so naïve, Chris!

5. She might not have been there for the right reasons... but it was worth it (for us)


 

@mikeycee3

A photo posted by Ashley Salter (@absalt) on

This is the most popular theory as of now. Peruse her Instagram account and you’ll find not only photos of her acting totally normal around other human beings, but a mysterious pic of her canoodling a guy while flashing a serious rock on her left hand. Just please tell us she’s RSVP’d yes for the Women Tell All so we can (maybe) finally get to the bottom of this.

Are you glad to see Ashley S. go or did you want her to stick around for a few more weeks solely for the laughs?

7 Cute & Comfy Flats for Your Spring Internship

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Between running to class and completing errands for your internship, the last thing you want to worry about it is your feet hurting from a pair of sky high heels. This semester you should save your heels for the weekend and wear a pair of flats to your internship instead. Try mixing up your work attire with these cute and professional options below. Not only will your boss thank you for your hard work, she will definitely notice your top-notch style, too!

1. Miss Albright Fena Flats, $128, Anthropologie

Every collegiette needs a pair of nude flats, and these vintage-inspired shoes will match any work outfit perfectly. The modest, goes-with-everything color is conservative enough for any work environment, while the metallic textured fabric adds a bit of visual interest. Wear with a black blazer and button down for a classic look.

2. 'Aila' Pointy Toe Flat, $98.95, Nordstrom

Get graphic with flats that feature mixed prints! This season, mixing prints and colors are all the rage. Why not bring that trend to your shoes? Style these cuties with slim fitting trousers and a simple dotted blouse for a fun yet sophisticated look.

3. Patent Slipper, $59.90, Zara

There are so many things we love about these smoking slippers! We can't get over the tassels (they were seen all over the spring runways), are obsessed with the silver accent on the heel, and are partial to the high-gloss shine of the leather.

4. Mesh Ado About Stunning Flat, $34.99, ModCloth

Take a spin on your basic black flats with these not-so-basic flats from ModCloth. Elegant and detailed, these mesh flats transform otherwise classic black shoes into something totally fabulous. Get noticed in the office with this functional and cute pair.

5. OLYVIA Flats, $70, Aldo

Chase away all your winter work blues with these beautiful cobalt blue flats. After all, nothing says you’re ready for work like a bold statement shoe. Just make sure to wear a neutral-colored outfit so you won’t blind your boss.

6. 'Breeze' Laser Cut Suede Ballet Flat, $94.95, Nordstrom

This is a pair you'll want to whip out as the weather gets warmer! Since you should avoid open-toed shoes in a professional environment, opt for a pair of flats with chic cutouts like this one, so your toes can breathe!

7. 'Fayth' Flat, $129.95, Nordstrom

Who doesn’t love a pair of beautifully bedazzled shoes? Paired with a statement necklace, these shoes will have you ready to take on the work day in style!

Which pair will you be wearing to your internship this semester, collegiettes?

Real Live College Guy: How Do I Ask Out a Guy I Barely Know?

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We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I really like a guy whom I don't know well. I know that he knows who I am, but we have rarely talked or been able to hang out one-on-one. I get too nervous to talk to him or ask him to hang out or basically do anything, which I know is preventing me from finding out if I have a chance. If a guy is "out of your league," is there any harm in at least trying to talk to him? I don't know how to make a move, since I don't want to be rejected. What can I do? –Lovestruck at La Salle

Lovestruck,

I know exactly what you mean. You see someone across the room and you can’t keep yourself from turning your head to look at him or her every few minutes, but you can’t quite muster up the strength to walk over and talk to that person. You know you should, but you just can’t. I mean, what if that person’s over there with someone else? What if all you get is a dirty look? Worse, what if all you get is a “no”?

And then you hear that line from everyone. You know the line; we’ve all heard it… “What’s the worst that could happen?”

To quote my good friend Chandler Bing, “The worst that could happen? I could die.

So, what do we do about it? How do we solve this problem?

First, rid yourself of the idea that “no” is going to kill you. Remove yourself of the concept that your life is going to be ruined if someone turns you down. Would it be momentarily painful? Yes, no doubt. Would it be embarrassing? Most definitely, but you can prepare yourself for that.

Second, toss out the whole “out of your league” thing and give yourself more credit. What makes him out of your league? His looks? Those don’t last. His humor? Could be a defense mechanism! The idea of a league existing is elementary. There’s no hierarchy. The world isn’t split up into divisions, you know—this isn’t dating football.

Finally, understand that nerves make us human. It’s totally normal to be nervous about asking someone out, just because of the potential consequences (dates, relationships, sex, breakups, so on and so forth), but you shouldn’t focus on all that. Focus on the now. Focus on walking up to this regular human being who’s definitely within your league, and focus on asking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, for whatever.

You want to take the initiative to ask him out first, and that’s admirable. The power is in your hands. The next time you see him, make your way over and start a conversation. Put the whole “asking him out” thing out of your mind for that moment, and focus on talking to him like a human being instead of this untouchable object. Then, only after you’ve made your connection with him and evened the playing field, you ask him out. 

What’s the worst that could happen? He says no and some dude misses a chance at going out with an amazing girl. Bummer for him.

Fill out my online form.

The 13 Stages of Oversleeping for Your 8 a.m. Class

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You know how you thought you only hit snooze twice? You actually hit it three times that. Now your first class is starting in 10 minutes, and you have terrible bedhead and morning breath that could kill someone. These are the stages of oversleeping for your 8 a.m., or, why you should never, EVER sign up for a class at that hour in the first place.

1. You finally wake up when your snooze alarm goes off for the eighth time and your roommate throws something at you.

Wait, it's only... wait... WAIT, WHAT?

2. As soon as you notice what time it is, all hell breaks loose.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN??!

3. You jump out of bed and quickly begin scrambling to somehow wash your face and brush your teeth at the same time.

Yum, face cleanser for breakfast!

4. You don't bother with your hair because there's simply not time for it, so you'll have to accept the fact that you'll look gross today.

Let's hope there's no one cute in your class.

5. After getting dressed in record time, you rush to get your backpack together. It's possible that you forgot your assignment and snack for the day.

(You're more upset about the snack.)

6. You text your friend in that class to save you a seat so you don't get stuck in the front row.

Let's hope she didn't oversleep, too.

7. Class started five minutes ago but you're starving, so you tear apart your kitchen to try to find something decent.

Cereal in a Solo cup? Okay.

8. As soon as you leave, you begin competing for the fastest time to ever make it to your class.

You even... take the stairs. (Dun dun duuuuun.)

9. Running with a backpack is not only embarrassing but also semi-difficult, so you're definitely getting some weird stares.

Excuse me, sorry, just trying to fix my tanking GPA.

10. By the time you get to your class, you're totally out of breath.

Good thing your backpack covers your back sweat :/

11. You walk in awkwardly, 20 minutes late, and your friend is all the way on the other side of the classroom.

Walking through tiny rows of ticked-off people and apologizing under your breath every two seconds is totally how you wanted to start your morning. Hooray.

12. When you finally take your seat, you question why on earth you ever signed up for a class at this hour.

THE SUN HAS BARELY RISEN.

13. Remember during registration when you thought an 8 a.m. would be good for you so you could jump-start your day?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Never. Again.

'Ghostbusters' Remake Features an All-Female Cast

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The rumors we all hoped to be true have officially been confirmed. Not only is there going to be a Ghostbusters remake, but it will star some of our favorite funny female stars. Yesterday, director Paul Feig revealed the very anticipated casting when he tweeted a picture of the new four leading ladies. This marks a big win in the fight for more female leads in comedy films. Although there has been some backlash for the Ghostbusters reboot featuring an all-female cast, we know this diverse group of ladies will do it justice.

Kristen Wiig

You’ve seen her hilarious impressions on SNL and her first written screenplay come to life in Bridesmaids. Now she’s starring as one of the new “Ghostbusters” alongside some of her former co-stars and friends. Wiig’s comedic versatility is perfect for the role, and she’s guaranteed to bring big laughs with her awkward yet relatable humor.

Melissa McCarthy

It’s no surprise that Melissa McCarthy was the first one to be cast, with her history of hilarious characters in films such as The Heat, Identity Thief, and Tammy. McCarthy’s ability to improvise lines off the top of her head are sure to make any audience laugh.

Kate McKinnon

Current SNL cast member Kate McKinnon is finally hitting the big screen and we couldn’t be more excited. McKinnon has been making us laugh on SNL since 2012 with her spot-on Ellen Degeneres and Justin Bieber impressions. The only thing that could make this movie even better is if she stayed in character as Bieber the whole time.

Leslie Jones

This SNL newbie has had quite a year. She may be the new featured player on SNL this season, but she’s no stranger to the comedy world. Jones, who started off as a stand-up comedian also had a part in Chris Rock’s recent film Top Five. This may be her first major role, but with her experience and hilarious honesty, it won’t be the last we see of Leslie Jones.

The film is set to start filming this summer in New York, and will be released on July 22, 2016.

Valentine’s Day Poems: 11 Love Poems to Make Your Day

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Love is in the air, collegiettes!  Whether you’re being taken on a super romantic Valentine’s Day date or you’re single this year, you have to admit—isn’t there just something about Valentine’s Day that gives you a bunch of warm fuzzies inside?  Okay, so not everybody is a fan of candy hearts, teddy bears or ostentatious shows of affection, but let’s get back to the real meaning behind V-Day: pure, heartfelt romance.  We put together a list of our favorite love poems to get you in the Valentine’s spirit.  (And if your SO isn’t the most expressive with his or her feelings, why not “accidentally” leave this page open on your browser… it may give him or her a few ideas!)

Of course, no list of love poems would be complete without good ole Billy Shakespeare, so here are a few of his classic sonnets.

Sonnet 18
By William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Sonnet 29
By William Shakespeare

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Sonnet 116
By William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
  If this be error and upon me proved,
  I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Though Pablo Neruda’s poetry can have a somewhat darker tone than other love poetry, you can’t deny his deep sense of romance and heart-fluttering turns of phrase.

If You Forget Me
By Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

I do not love you...
By Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

In 1812, Ludwig van Beethoven wrote a series of letters to a mysterious person he called “Unsterbliche Geliebte,” or, “Immortal Beloved.”  While it is a letter, its lyricism, particularly in the final lines, make it almost like poetry. You’ll be just as charmed as Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and the City movie after reading his romantic words!

The Third Letter, from the Immortal Beloved Letters
By Ludwig van Beethoven

Good morning, on July 7

      Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours

E. E. Cummings’ bizarre punctuation may have driven you crazy in English class, but if any guy wrote such romantic words to us, we’d probably be crazy in love.

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
By e. e. cummings

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

While Lord Byron may have been a bit of a player, we can still appreciate his romantic, beautiful description of a woman he became entranced with.

She Walks in Beauty
By Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Nothing says Valentine’s Day quite like red roses, but a poem comparing love to one is even better!

A Red, Red Rose
By Robert Burns

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee well, my only Luve
And fare thee well, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile.

Of course, we couldn’t forget this classic by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (girl power!), written for the man who would become her husband, Robert Browning.  Yes, the girl can make the first move in a relationship!

Sonnet 43 from Sonnets from the Portugese
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Have you ever felt so in love that nobody else’s relationship could possibly compare with what you have?  Yeats felt the same way about his love way back when!

The Ragged Wood
By William Butler Yeats

O, hurry, where by water, among the trees,
The delicate-stepping stag and his lady sigh,
When they have looked upon their images
Would none had ever loved but you and I!

Or have you heard that sliding silver-shoed
Pale silver-proud queen-woman of the sky,
When the sun looked out of his golden hood?
O, that none ever loved but you and I!

O hurry to the ragged wood, for there
I will drive all those lovers out and cry
O, my share of the world, O, yellow hair!
No one has ever loved but you and I. 


Catcalling Might be Worse for Women Than We Think

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No matter where you're from and what your age, you've probably experience some form of street harassment at some point in your life. Catcalling has almost become an expected part of walking down the street (whether you're in sweats or your cutest going out outfit)—at the very least, we have come to the point where we simply accept that it is going to happen to us and there isn't really anything we can do about it.

Of course, that hasn't stopped people from trying—just last semester at Northeastern University, students, faculty and famous street artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh all came together to post anti-catcalling art around campus and bring awareness to an issue which is often swept under the rug.

Still, this issue affects college women all over the country—and a new research study suggests that women may have more to worry about.

The study, entitled "Understanding the Relationships Among White and African American Women's Sexual Objectification Experiences, Physical Safety Anxiety, and Psychological Distress," aimed to examine the correlation between sexual objectification (by means of catcalling and other methods) and anxiety over physical safety. The researchers from the University of Missouri-Kansas City sampled 228 women from a Southeastern undergraduate university and the results are startling:

  • African American women are more likely to experience sexual objectification, and feel a "fear of crime," than white women are.
  • For both races, it was the "perceived risk of crime" which helped link the sexual objectification to fear of crime.

What does this mean? These findings indicate that women are even more victimized by street harassment than we've previously thought, and the effects can be psychologically scarring. However, what we found even more disturbing was the inequality between races. Women of color were not only more likely to be catcalled, but more likely to suffer emotional trauma because of it. 

One thing we can be sure of is that this is a problem that is not going away any time soon, and we can only hope that this study helps open up a national conversation.

5 Things You Need to Do on Galentine’s Day

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Before you spend Valentine’s Day gushing over your SO, remember the people who had your back first: your girlfriends. Sure, you’ll spend February 14 prepping for your night out with your significant other (or spending the day treating your wonderful, single self!), but February 13 is all about cherishing the girls who have seen you cry, watched you stuff your face with pounds of chocolate and helped you pick out the perfect crop top to wear to your first college party. In true Parks and Recreation fashion, Her Campus’s guide to the ultimate Galentine’s Day will guarantee a friendship-filled February 13.

1. Say “bye-bye, boys”

Remember, this day is for your gal pals, which means no guys allowed. Yes, some of your best friends may be guys, but while we love them for the pals that they are, no guy could ever replace your girlfriends. Ask yourself: Would my guy friend want to tag along and get a mani-pedi with Amanda and Laura? If the answer is no, he’s gotta go for the day.

2. Get pampered

What better way to get girly with your gals than to have a stay-at-home spa day? From face masks to feet scrubs, there are tons of innovative ways to get the spa experience without leaving your living room! Get some ideas from our list and look at your Pinterest boards to plan your perfect pampering day.

“You don't have to spend a ton of money on an overcrowded, overrated spa, and it's more casual, so it'll be more relaxing,” says Sarah, a first-year graduate student at the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism. “Whenever I have an at-home spa night for either myself or with my friends, it usually entails painting each other's nails, mani and pedi and putting facial masks on using a premade pack or by splurging on a store-bought tube of cucumber facial mask from a drugstore.”

3. Treat yo’selves

If you’ve been cutting back on the carbs, today is the day to go all out. Have dessert, eat an extra slice of pizza and enjoy yourself. (You can always walk it off while shopping at the mall afterwards!)

“When I want to give my friend a super-nice day, we'll usually go to her favorite restaurant for breakfast or brunch,” says Aja, a junior at California Polytechnic State University. “Then we'll usually go shopping or on a hike or to the beach – anything that's relaxing and fun!”

Whether you spend the day buying workout clothes or actually working out, enjoy spending the day out and about with your girlfriends.

4. Rent a chick flick

What better way to bond than by gushing over cute protagonists, eating popcorn and getting way too emotionally invested in a movie?

If you’re interested in some older chick flicks, check out Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Titanic. If you’re looking for something relatively new, rent The Other Woman, The Fault in Our Stars or Sex and the City! There’s never a shortage of chick flicks for you and your friends to choose from. Don’t forget the tissues!

5. Go back to the basics

What about your long-distance BFFs? Nothing says, “I appreciate you” like a handwritten valentine or letter. Sure, a well-written text or a playful e-card could cheer your friend up, but taking the time to write out a letter will make her day.

“It doesn't have to be fancy,” Sarah says. “You can buy blank cards and 3D stickers from an arts and crafts store like Michaels and decorate it, then write in it!”

This card is something she can hang up in her room, tape to her binder or use as a bookmark as an everyday reminder that you’re always on her side.

As important as Valentine’s Day is to you and your SO, it’s just as important to take the time to cherish your gal-entines. Happy Galentine’s Day, collegiettes!

Win Your Very Own 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Experience

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If you have plans to see the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie on Valentine’s Day with your BFFs, put those plans on hold for a moment—because we’re setting you up with an even better experience.

From today through February 1, we’re giving away a chance for you (and a friend!) to win tickets to the ‘Fifty Shades First on Today’ event screening in New York City! You’ll get to attend the event with the cast and filmmakers the morning of February 6, 2015 at 7:30 a.m. at the Ziegfeld Theatre (141 West 54th Street, New York, NY 10019).

Ready for the ultimate Fifty Shades experience? Enter below now for your chance to win two tickets!

Sweepstakes is open to entrants 18 years or older. The winner and companion will be responsible for their own travel and accomodations.

Fill out my online form.

7 Face Masks that Take 10 Minutes or Less

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Between classes, part-time jobs and clubs, life as a collegiette can be stressful and jam-packed. While we want to keep our skin looking healthy and fresh, taking 20 to 30 minutes out of our day to sit around in a face mask is just not always possible. Get the same results in less than half that time! Here are seven masks that take 10 minutes or less, and still leave your skin glowing!

1. Freeman Charcoal & Black Sugar Facial Polishing Mask ($3.99)

This combination mask and scrub works to detox your skin. The oil and impurities are first absorbed (without over-drying!), and the black sugar then helps exfoliate dulling skin cells. The mask is perfect for all skin types, and only has to be left on for 5 to 7 minutes!

2. Mario Badescu Whitening Mask ($24)

Brighten uneven skin tone, minimize acne scaring and reduce discoloration with this hydrating mask. Leave it on for 5 to 10 minutes and rinse with water. Follow up with moisturizer for beautiful, bright skin!

3. The Body Shop Seaweed Iconic Clay Mask ($22)

Because seaweed is packed with vitamins and moisturizes with no oils, it is ideal to use on normal to oily skin. The clay in this mask also cleanses and revitalizes skin after just 10 minutes!

4. Bliss Multi-Face-Eted All-In-One Anti-Aging Clay Mask ($50)

This mask corrects six of the most common aging skin concerns with jojoba oil and detoxifying carbon. Apply a thin layer to your clean face and leave on for 5 to 7 minutes, making sure to avoid the eye area!

5. Boots No7 Beautiful Skin Hydration Mask ($16.99)

Leave your skin feeling soft and smooth with this mask's intense moisture boost. Glycerin and cocoa butter nourish the skin, while the surface is strengthened with ceramides and cholesterol. The mask only needs to be left on for 3 minutes to rejuvenate the skin!

6. Ahava Purifying Mud Mask ($33)

This mask deep cleans and detoxifies pores with a blend of Dead Sea mud, minerals and natural extracts. Absorb oils and soothe skin for a fresh, radiant complexion. Leave a thick layer on for 2 minutes and rinse off thoroughly with warm water.

7. Philosophy Total Matteness Pore-Minimizing & Mattifying Cleanser + Mask ($27)

Glacial clay unclogs pores to reduce their appearance, oil is absorbed, and skin is left totally matte and shine-free. The product also gently foams to deep clean daily. Massage for 30 to 60 seconds as a cleanser, or leave on for 3 to 5 minutes to use as a mask.

Which mask will you be using when you've got no time to spare?

Saks Takes Back Its Argument on Transgender Discrimination

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In a recent twist that involves a transgender employee and Saks Fifth Avenue, the luxury department store has recanted its original argument that transgender people aren't covered by anti-discrimination laws. 

For a better understanding of the case's context, Leyth Jamal, a now former Saks employee who identifies as transgender, sued the retailer after believing her job termination was a result of discrimination. Initially, Saks Fifth Avenue cited a portion of the Civil Rights Act that bans discrimination based on sex, and claimed that being transgender doesn't fall under that umbrella. 

As a result, advocacy groups like the Human Rights Campaign became infuriated and immediately voiced their condemnation of the retailer's argument. The Justice Department piped in and filed a legal motion against Saks, clarifying that "Discrimination against an individual based on gender identity is discrimination because of sex,"according to Racked.

So did the Justice Department's role play into Saks' decision to take back their original claim? Most likely. But that doesn't mean the company is backing down completely because they still plan to contest Jamal's claim, just in other ways. We don't know the exact reasons Jamal was fired, so we're guessing Saks' legal team will try to argue their case based on non-gender identity-related rationales. 

But regardless of what claim Saks plans on pursuing next, the case as a whole paints a larger picture of the struggle the trans community faces in the fight for equality.

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