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Pledging a Sorority: What It’s REALLY Like

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What really goes on during sorority pledging? While many collegiettes have gone through it, some who haven’t been in a sorority have no idea what the process is like. Luckily, Her Campus got the lowdown on what really happens in the life of a sorority pledge. Check it out!

Time Commitment

Pledging a sorority involves many different activities and meetings, many of which are mandatory. This means that for most collegiettes, pledging ends up being a huge time commitment.

New members spend a lot of time learning about the different aspects of their sorority. By the end of the pledging period, they’re expected to not only know about their sorority’s mission and values, but also about all of its current members.

“We had to learn literally everything,” explains Laura*, a collegiette at the University of North Carolina. “It was so dumb because none of that ever came up again, and I don’t think it served to bind us together in any way. We had to learn the history of the sorority, the dinner prayers, names of national leaders, etc.” 

Many sororities even have a sort of final entrance exam on what they’ve learned. Some sororities will expect pledges to learn miscellaneous facts about the sorority and its members and will be quizzed on them.

“We learned lots of history, for the most part,” says Hyanna from New York University. “We [had] weekly quizzes on PowerPoints about our sorority.”

Along with the time pledges spend learning about their sororities, they’re typically also expected to attend a multitude of other events such as mandated study times, weekly meetings and other social activities.

“We bonded with the sorority as a whole through sisterhood activities like letter making or sewing shirts,… watching movies in our suite or painting nails, mandatory Greek Life events, and just hanging out outside of sorority,” explains Victoria*, a student at a small, private school in West Virginia.

Abigail, an Zeta Tau Alpha sister at Salisbury University, explains that the time commitment made the new member process special for her.

“I know my new member experience was time consuming in a lot of ways, but I feel like that's what brought my pledge class closer together,” she says. “Once you spend eight weeks straight with a group of people, they really do become family, and it's a time I wouldn't trade for the world.” 

However, for some pledges, the time commitment can be overwhelming.

“For me, pledging was like taking an extra class,” explains Laura. “I had to spend a ton of time not only at the house, but also getting back and forth across campus from my dorm and back. I eventually ended up dropping my sorority because the time commitment was too much for me.”

Hazing

Hazing forces pledges to participate in activities that are specifically designed to make them uncomfortable in some way, and it can lead to dangerous outcomes.

Hazing does still happen in some sororities, but more and more schools are cracking down on it. Many colleges have zero-tolerance hazing policies and also use other methods to prevent it. For example, the University of Alabama has a hotline where students can notify the school of hazing violations. Last fall, the University cancelled all pledging activities after a number of anonymous phone calls.

“I had a really great experience with my pledging process,” says Meghan, a Delta Gamma sister at the University of Rochester. “Delta Gamma nationally has a strong anti-hazing process, but when I first went through, I was skeptical; I thought all sororities had to haze. I went in a little hesitant and nervous about when the hazing would start, but it truly never did. Instead of forcing us to do things together, our pledge moms created really fun events for us that made us naturally want to be together.”

Brooke*, a collegiette at a small, private school in Iowa who is in a sorority, explains that the hazing in her sorority has stopped in the past few years.

“I personally wasn't hazed at all,” she says. “I've heard stories that the current seniors were mildly hazed right before their initiation when they were forced to listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, but now the hazing is completely gone. We definitely have a hazing policy, and my sorority is really careful about it.”

Laura explains that she went through some hazing before initiation.

“We were forced to walk on the roof without shoes on and had to go get frozen yogurt for some of the older girls, but that’s it,” she says. “These were mostly jokes and nothing that anyone was uncomfortable with.”

But some sororities take hazing to an even worse level. Margaret* from East Carolina University said she dropped out of her pledge class after being told about her sorority’s hazing process. A sister explained to her that she would have to lie blindfolded on a table while brothers from an ECU fraternity wrote on her body what they thought were her physical flaws. 

Hazing has been a huge issue with Greek life in the past, and it can be scary to hear the stories about it. However, it’s important to remember that most sororities no longer condone it.

Drama

In the midst of the chaos of sorority life, it’s not uncommon for conflict between girls to run rampant. Drama and gossip often seem to go hand in hand with the pledging process. While getting to know the current members is supposed to create an atmosphere of sisterhood, it doesn’t always go as expected. 

“My least favorite part about pledging a sorority was how much the girls stabbed each other in the back and how ruthless it was,” says Callie*, a student at East Carolina University. “We didn’t know anyone, and once rush was over, the older girls who had been really nice to us turned sour and acted like we weren’t worthy of being members until initiation.”

Victoria explains that the current sisters didn’t make it easy for her to feel at home in her sorority.

“Before actually joining, the girls will act really nice and seem interested in you. They'll go out of their way to invite you to things, and it'll seem genuine and exciting,” she says. “As soon as you join, though, things can quickly change. Like many of my other sisters, I was one who was pushed to the side, who nobody wanted to get to know, because I didn't party and I had a steady boyfriend. It can be really confusing because you think you're making the right decision by joining, but then it all seems so fake.”

Some sororities even force girls to gossip and cause drama at mandatory events.

“Every week at chapter, there was a cup that was passed around where you put in ‘anonymous’ stories you knew about crazy things other girls had done over the week,” says Laura. “For example, ‘What girl had not one, but two guys in a bar bathroom on Friday?’ or ‘What girl peed on the street Saturday night?’ That was a little weird because they would read them out loud at the end and everyone sort of knew who had done what.”

While this doesn’t mean that every sorority girl is fake and two-faced, it does show that the process of joining and being a member of a sorority does not always go as expected, and it isn’t for everyone.

“You just have to find where you feel like you belong, bond with others to the best of your abilities, and really just find your niche, whether it be in or out of sorority,” explains Victoria. I love my sorority and what it stands for. With that said, you also have to understand that you'll never get along with everyone, and it's the people, probably not the organization, that can potentially turn you away.”

But not every sorority is full of conflict and cattiness. Anna, a Chi Omega sister at the University of Nottingham, says that her pledging process was drama-free.

“I had no drama at all during pledging,” she says. “I trusted myself to pick a house I knew would be right for me, and with that came no drama and not a single bad thing to report!”

Big-Little Relationship

One super important part of the pledging process for the majority of sororities is the big-little relationship. At some point during pledging, each pledge will get a “big,” or “big sister,” to guide them through the pledging process. Most sororities even have a “big-little week” during which the big showers her little with gifts before revealing who she is on the last day. Other sororities just have a reveal ceremony.

Pledges’ bigs act as their go-to person whenever they have questions or concerns during pledging. They are supposed to make their littles feel special and welcome, and most do a pretty great job of it.

“Big/little week was definitely my favorite, and a year later, I'm basically best friends with my big,” says Stacey, a Kappa Delta sister at Vanderbilt University. “I really wish that every girl got to experience a positive pledging period, because it really makes being in a sorority and being a new member that much better!” 

However, there are some bigs that just aren’t willing to spend enough quality time with their littles to make them feel accepted and appreciated.

“My big was nice enough, and at first it really seemed like we were going to get along,” says Laura. “But after the first week or so, she became really hard to get in contact with. We hardly ever hung out, and when we did it was awkward. It always seemed like she would have rather been doing something else.”

 

In the end, pledging a sorority is a trial run of whether or not a particular sorority is right for someone. For many, it’s a truly great and life-changing experience, but there are some who discover that pledging, or at least certain aspects of it, are not at all what they expected. 

If you’re currently a pledge, tell HC about your experience with a comment below!

* Names have been changed.


17 Literary Pick-up Lines English Majors Will Love

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You’re at the library when you spot an attractive stranger eyeing you from behind a pair of chic glasses and an alluringly large book. Probably an English major. The hot ones are always English majors. What do you say? “Are you an overdue book? Because you have fine written all over you!” 

How unsophisticated. In case your crush judges a book by its cover, you want to make the perfect first impression. And what better way to woo someone than with a pick-up line custom-tailored to the book he or she happens to be reading?

Take a page out of our book and try one of these literary one-liners.

1. You must be reading Fahrenheit 451, because you’re smokin’!

2. Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.

3. Why don’t we Middlemarch right out of here and go get dinner?

4. Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.

5. It’s no wonder Big Brother’s watching you. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 1984.

6. I don’t need to go In Search of Lost Time — I know it’s the time I spent before I met you.

7. Why would you Mary Shelley when you could marry me?

8. Watching you walk through those stacks is A Moveable Feast for the eyes.

9. It’s funny that you’re reading Tennessee Williams, since you’re the only 10 I see.

10. Call me Ishmael. When can I call you?

11. Hey cutie, I Sense you have a lot of Sensibility. Was that too Austen-tatious of me to point out?

12. I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m just going to say it: I’m Wilde about you.

13. I would Thoreau-ly enjoy it if this library weren’t so Wald-en. Why don’t you get some fresh air and go out with me?

14. Hey, why don’t you let me bring you to Treasure Island?

15. I could say that I wandered lonely as a cloud before I met you, but what are these Wordsworth if you won’t go out with me? 

16. I’d Fight to go to a Club with you.

17. Wanna go find us A Room of One’s Own?

Disclaimer: Many libraries don’t permit food, so be careful about bringing in lines this cheesy and corny. But hey, at least they’re not as bad as these pick-up lines!

11 Mistakes Every Girl Makes at Least Once

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As a wise woman once said, "Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days," and girls are definitely no exception. In case you didn't know, the best offense is a good defense (that's how the saying goes, right?), so get prepared by educating yourself on 11 of the most common mistakes a girl will make in her lifetime. 

1. Cutting her hair during an existential crisis. 

Because how many of us have gone through a tough breakup and said to our friends, "I just really need a change, you know?" 

2. Drunk texting her ex. 

There's a reason he's an ex, and whether it's because he broke your heart or you broke his, you probably shouldn't have sent the telltale "heyyyyyyyyy" at 3 a.m. 

3. Talking badly about her friends. 

As a rule of thumb, you probably shouldn't say something about your friend behind her back that you wouldn't say to her face. Now, people you hate - that's a different story. 

4. Putting too much on her plate.

Some of us are just people pleasers, but you can say "no" every once in a while, too.

5. Staying up late for no reason whatsoever.

Why are you taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what type of cheeseburger you are?! It is 2 a.m. and this is getting out of hand. 

6. Severely underestimating the amount of time it takes for her to get ready.

"I'll be ready in five minutes, relax" - a girl to her friends who have been waiting an hour. It's almost as bad as, "I'm leaving now," which we all know is code for, "I'm still in my towel."

7. Wearing shoes that she just can't walk in. 

Heels are the worst; we all know this. So why do we wear them and then wobble around like baby giraffes all night?

8. Wearing an insane amount of makeup. 

Less is more, ladies. Less is more. 

9. Going braless. 

Because that will be the one day of the year when physical activity is inevitable.

10. Getting drunk and losing her wallet and phone. 

Try explaining that one to your mother. 

11. Caring too much about what other people think. 

Because at the end of the day, you are flawless... even when you make mistakes. 

7 Unexpected Places to Meet Your College Friends

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College is a time to meet new people and try new things. From endless dining hall lines to club events to random orientation meetings, college was designed to help you bond with those around you. You never know when you’re going to make new friends, and it usually happens when you least expect it! Here are seven unexpected places where you could find your new college friends.

1. The Elevator

By the end of the semester, you’ll become well acquainted with a lot of the people living in your residence hall. Many of those relationships will begin in the elevator. From people who live on floor two to the residents of floor eight, almost everyone will need to take a ride in this machine at some point.

Rachel, a senior at University of Tulsa, saw her eight-second ride in the elevator as a chance to meet someone new. “Someone once got on the elevator with his bike, and I was totally squished to one side [of the elevator] with this guy,” she says. “It turned out that the guy was in my history class… and I got a new study partner.” While that might have been a crammed elevator, it certainly made room for a new friendship!

Rather than suffering in awkward silence, try to comment on the situation to ease the tension in the elevator. Try making a comment on something the person is holding or wearing, like, “Hey, that’s a pretty cool bike. Where did you get it?” Even volunteering to push the button and asking which floor the other person needs can make you seem more approachable and open the door for conversation.

2. The Dining Hall

Most collegiettes tend to eat around the same time every day. Besides regulating your diet, sticking to your routine will allow you to see some familiar faces around the salad bar and in the pizza line. Eating dinner around 6 p.m. every night and going to the same dining hall just because of its convenient, next-door-to-your-dorm location can result in some unforeseen friendships. Soon, an encounter like, “Hey, I think I’ve seen you here before. I’m Jessica. I live in the dorm right next to this dining hall,” can occur at the dessert table with someone else who also gets dinner around 6 p.m. And maybe you’ll even end up getting dinner with one of those familiar faces in the future! You never know.

3. Your Favorite Study Spot

Like the dining hall, by continuously going to the same place to study, you’ll begin to see the same people. If you always study at the on-campus coffee shop after your chem lab every Monday and Wednesday, you might run in to the same people who are also always studying at the time.

“I met one of my good friends Leah at a Panera once. She was sitting at the table next to me, and it turned out she went to the nursing school that’s next door,” says Sarah, a fifth-year student at St. Louis College of Pharmacy. “We ended up having lunch together… and we still keep in touch.”

Even though you might not go to the same school as that person, you don’t have to rule out a potential friendship! By keeping an open mind, you can make some lifelong friends. Just make sure you’re not in a designated silent section of the library before you decide to break the ice and strike up a conversation. If someone looks immersed in their studies, let them focus.

4. The Laundry Room

While the laundry room isn’t the most glamorous place on campus, it’s one place that everybody is guaranteed to frequent (at least, we hope so!). And that makes the laundry room the perfect place to meet people. Between switching out loads and folding your T-shirts, there’s plenty of room for some decent conversation.

Alyssa, a junior at Butler University, was putting her clothes into the dryer when a friendship stumbled into her lap. “I met someone in the laundry room named James,” she says. “We kept running into each other there the first couple weeks of school… He was smart and hilarious at the same time. I ended up becoming friends with him and his two guy friends.” Match made in the laundry room.

And who knows, you might even be lucky enough to attend a party in this unexpected, fresh-smelling location! Amanda, a sophomore at Loyola University Chicago, met one of her friends at a laundry room party. “I started talking to [my friend] Claire at a birthday party thrown in my dorm laundry room,” she says. “There was incredibly loud, old 1970s tunes blasting in the tiny laundry room… around 30 people were dancing on eight washers and dryers. Just a laundry room full of honors kids blowing off steam right before finals.” From providing the machines to keep your clothes clean to providing the space for one unique birthday party, laundry rooms are the perfect unexpected place to branch out.

5. Riding the Bus

Depending on where your dorm is located, you’ll probably spend a lot of time on the bus to and from class each day or even to and from a night on the town. But you can even meet some interesting new people on your journey to and from your hometown for breaks.

Morgan, a junior at the University of Missouri, did just that. “I met a girl on the shuttle back to Columbia, MO, after winter break,” she says. “She happened to be from Texas too and was in a long-distance relationship with a guy who went to A&M like [I was], so we bonded over that.” Just when you think you’re done making friends, there’s always room for one more. They could even be sitting next to you on your next bus ride home and have a plethora of things in common with you!

6. Tutoring Sessions

Seeking out extra help with a tutor in college can be beneficial to you in multiple ways. Not only will you gain clarity on some fuzzy concepts you just didn’t understand from that last Econ lecture, but you’ll also have so many opportunities to get acquainted with a new pool of people.

“In math lab, this guy sat next to me and just said, ‘Hi!’ all cheery,” says Katy, a University of Mississippi junior. “I was kind of scared, but then he asked, ‘How are you? Who do have [for math]? What math are you taking?’ There's an unwritten rule to be silent in math lab, so it was kind of comical. He was really nice and plays rugby, and I play ultimate [Frisbee], so we see each other at the fields a lot.” Even in a potentially stressful math tutoring session, you can still make a friend. Sometimes the friendships even find you!

7. Spontaneous Late-Night Outings

With fourth meals comes a culture of spontaneous late-night activities. College kids are up so late that it only makes sense to squeeze in another bite of food and a maybe a fun memory or two before you hit the hay. And it’s during these late-night dashes for sustenance when friendships can form!

Beth, a junior at Illinois Wesleyan University, made a friend on a Taco Bell run one night. “My friends and I had just gotten back to our floor [at our residence hall] when we realized we were starving—and not the kind of starving that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could solve. We needed real food,” she says. “So we went to Taco Bell, and there was a huge group of girls there from some 1920s-themed party… I ended up exchanging numbers with one of the girls in line because we were both from the same suburb of Chicago.”

 

Everybody comes to college looking to branch out and meet new people. By taking advantage of this fact, you could walk away from your time in college with some newfound knowledge, a degree, and a few unexpected friendships. Just don’t discriminate as to where these friendships are formed, because the location could simply be the beginning of the story of your awesome friendship! Friendships may come when and where you least expect it, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled!

What to Wear for Every Step of Sorority Rush

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Sorority rush is an exciting time, but some parts of it can be stressful—like figuring out what to wear! Each round of rush comes with different dress codes, often particular to each school. We rounded up some helpful tips for finding outfits that work for you.

Rush Orientation

Some campuses hold a rush orientation, which gives women the opportunity to chat with sorority members and discover the benefits of joining a sorority. At this point you don’t have to be registered for formal recruitment. Everyone will be excited to meet you and provide you with the information you’ll need to decide whether the process is right for you. It never hurts to looks your best because it’s a special chance to make a great first impression!

Other schools don’t allow you to meet with sorority members before formal recruitment begins, but instead you’ll learn about the process and meet your rho gammas, or recruitment counselors, who are sorority members who separate themselves from their sororities to help out with recruitment. In many cases, you’ll be standing or walking a majority of this time, so wear comfortable clothes! Save your cocktail dresses for later and keep it simple with pastel or printed shorts and a simple top. Avoid heels and slip on a pair of comfortable yet chic sandals or flats.

Round 1

Round 1 Sorority Rush

Summer dress
pixiemarket.com

 

 

Sun dress
goodnightmacaroon.co

 

 

Pink dress
shopruche.com

 

 

The first round of rush is your opportunity to really show off your personality! Girls will ask you simple and easy questions to get to know you, and you’ll be given the chance to ask general questions you have about their houses. The earlier rounds are more casual and lenient than the later rounds, so hopefully the relaxed environment will help you to open up and feel comfortable around many new women.

During the first round, wear a cute sundress and a pair of ballet flats or nice sandals. “It is important to look appropriate throughout the entire rush process,” says Mackenzie Barrott, a senior member of Alpha Xi Delta at Indiana University. “When we are recruiting, we want you to feel comfortable, but a revealing outfit can distract us from the conversation or give us a wrong impression you weren’t looking for. If you ever question whether a dress is too short or too revealing, it’s probably safe to say it’s not right for rush.”

Philanthropy Day

Philanthropy Day: Sorority Rush

 

With each round, the sorority becomes more personal with you, and introducing their philanthropic affiliations is a perfect example of that. Each sorority has a cause they support; they often hold events on campus to get the community involved and raise money to support their unique causes.

Philanthropy Day is a great day for sororities to show their philanthropy and for you to potentially find a house that supports a cause close to your heart. This day leaves little for you to stress about, because a recruitment shirt will probably be provided to you. Many sororities will include you in special activities to support their causes, such as creating cards for ill children or soldiers at sea. Although you won’t need to find an intricate outfit for Philanthropy Day, a pair of colored shorts to complement the shirt you’re given is a good choice. You could also try an origami skort for a trendy twist.

Skit Day

Skit Day: Sorority Rush

Sleeveless dress
blackfive.com

 

 

H&M pants
$12 - hm.com

 

 

Starfish earrings
11foxy.com

 

 

Pendants necklace
lorisshoes.com

 

 

Skit Day is a fun event that allows sororities to express their personalities and values through a skit. A dress suitable for a nice dinner is recommended.  Most women choose to dress up their look a little more for this round, but many sororities have their guests sit on the floor to watch the skit, so choose something that will allow you to comfortably get up and down and sit without worrying about your dress.

A more formal outfit doesn’t have to and shouldn’t take away from your style, so play with jewelry to complete your look. Heels are acceptable in this round, but make they’re comfortable enough to walk around in all day. You will not regret keeping comfort in mind after a long day of chatting and walking!

“I wore a fabulous pair of heels that I knew killed my feet, but I wanted to show them off,” says Becka Coveliers, now a member of Delta Zeta at Purdue University. “I soon regretted this decision and opted out for flats at lunch. Best decision of my life!”

Preference Night

Preference Night: Sorority Rush

Lace cocktail dress
societyofchic.com

 

 

Pleated dress
blackfive.com

 

 

 

Paper Dolls paper dress
$75 - dorothyperkins.com

 

Preference Night, the night where you get an inside look at a few of your top-choice sororities, is the dressiest night of the rounds, but don’t let this shake you! Choose clothes you feel comfortable in that will help you put your best foot forward, but don't go broke looking for the trendiest thing. You’ve handled these types of events before: Think about past dresses you wore to wedding receptions, upscale dinners or holiday celebrations. Choose a dress that’s not too revealing, meaning no plunging necklines, cutouts or miniskirts, which can distract girls from getting to know the real you.

Be sure to avoid solid-white dresses, because many sorority members will be required to wear this color on Preference Night. Instead, go for bold colors. If you’re comfortable in heels, you may want to wear them since you’ll be seeing only a few houses.  

Bid Day

You did it! Bid Day is the amazing day when you’ll find out which sorority you’ll be in. After your rho gamma/recruitment leader hands you a bid card with your new home on it, you’ll be rushing to meet your future sisters.

“It reminded me of my high school pep rally, but better,” says Grace Rasulo, a Delta Delta Delta sister at the University of Missouri. “Singing or dancing, you name it. It was overwhelming in the best way possible, and it was amazing how fast I connected with the girls who also chose my house.”

Sororities love to shower their new girls with gifts, and you’ll likely get a T-shirt with your new letters upon your arrival. Wear a cute pair of jean shorts and a simple tank that will allow you to slip on your new letters and join your new sisters!

Overall, remember that the guidelines they give you are just that: guidelines.  Be sure to show your personal style and wear the things you like and feel comfortable in. For more rush tips, check out these insider tips for sorority rush!

 

5 Ways to Deal With a Homophobic Roommate


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Your dorm room is where you’re supposed to feel at home on campus. You should be able to feel as comfortable in your extra-long twin bed as you would in your own house. This might be easier said than done, especially if you were assigned a random roommate whom you haven’t met before. You don’t have to be besties with your roomie, but when you’re sharing a space as intimate (and by intimate, we mean cramped) as a dorm room, you and your roommate should feel safe and have a respectful relationship. 

However, sometimes matching disasters occur, and you might be paired up with someone who might be totally unsupportive of who you are. It might be the way she stares at you when you put on your “Same Love” T-shirt or the way she blurts out triggering comments right in front of you, but living with her is clearly going to be difficult. If your roommate is homophobic, we have a few tips for you to make your dorm experience much more enjoyable.

1. Have a discussion about what exactly makes your roommate uncomfortable

For many collegiettes, being in college is the first time you come across people with beliefs different from your own. There are countless reasons why your roommate might be homophobic and ways she might express it—and even a chance that she might not know her behavior is problematic. 

UW-Madison junior Rachel* says that her roommate was from a small town where she had never met anyone who was openly gay. 

“When we did have a conversation about it, she mentioned that many people in her town were very religious and conservative,” Rachel says. “She didn’t know how to feel about knowing someone who was gay, much less living with someone who was gay.” 

Whether it’s about religion or other types of personal beliefs, pinpointing exactly what makes your roommate uncomfortable might help move the conversation along to a place where you can empathize with each other. 

2. Try setting ground rules with her

Once you confront your roommate about her homophobic behavior, it’s important to talk about things that you both need from each other to make the year go as smoothly as possible. A roommate contract usually works best by listing all of your expectations of each other. If you start this conversation about your needs at the beginning of the year, it could help you avoid future confrontation. 

First, tell her what specific behavior makes you uncomfortable. Is it the fact that she spits out slurs in her everyday vocabulary? Let her know which specific words she uses are offensive, and explain to her why. Maybe it’s the way she tries to force her opinions on you. Tell her that while she has every right to her own opinion, you’re not going to adjust your beliefs to fit hers. 

Make sure to also have a discussion about things you can potentially do to make her feel more at ease. It could be as simple as letting her know when you’re bringing a girl over so that she can leave the room. Just make sure that the compromises you make are reasonable and not detrimental. If she asks you to change anything that is essential to your identity, politely let her know that this is not an option. You can’t change who you are to accommodate her.

3. Talk to an adviser or counselor

Not having the freedom to be yourself in your own room can cause a major blow to your self-esteem, causing stress, anxiety and even depression. It’s not something that you should have to go through by yourself. 

Fortunately, most campuses have free counseling services if you need to talk to a professional during a rough time like this. During your time with a counselor, he or she will be open to listening to you vent, rant and even cry if you need to as you express your frustrations. A counselor can even potentially direct you to other resources or support groups that exist in the community on and off campus. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone or you don’t have these resources available to you, there are also hotlines for people experiencing homophobia. The It Gets Better Project has a listing of 24/7 hotline numbers of people you can talk to if you ever feel like you’re in a crisis.

4. Talk to your RA about room-switching options

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable rooming with this person, you definitely want to contact your RA about getting a room switch. Feeling like you’re in a dangerous place in your own living space is not a good situation to be in. At some schools, such as the University of Wisconsin-Madison, acts of homophobia can count as a form of harassment, which could potentially get your roommate removed from the dorm. 

UW-Madison RA and senior Nadia Carlson says not to hesitate to move out of your dorm if your roommate is homophobic.  

“It’s not worth wasting a significant part of your college experience,” she says. “This is your moment to shine and be able to express yourself, so you should be able to remove yourself from whatever pressure … might inhibit that.”

5. Get in contact with the LGBTQ+ center on campus or other possible advocates

While many collegiettes might not feel comfortable talking to their RAs, there could be other people and communities on campus who would be more than willing to help you. The LGBTQ+ center on campus or any other organizations of that nature could potentially play a huge role in listening to and defending your case to the higher-ups in university housing. They’re present on your campus to support you in all of your endeavors.

Dany Seiler, a UW-Madison senior and a former intern at the UW-Madison LGBT Campus Center, totally understands how a homophobic roommate could dampen a college experience. 

“For me, coming to college was the first time I could experiment with stuff because you’re no longer in high school and you don’t have to worry about a lot of things,” Dany says. “Having a homophobic roommate makes you worry that they’re always judging you, everything from what I wear towho I bring back to the room. It’s important to realize that these students need all the help they can get in these situations.”'

While the roommate matching might not have worked in your favor this time around, it’s important to remember that this situation shouldn’t play a detrimental role in your college career. College is one of the biggest learning experiences you’ll ever have. You’ll learn how to deal with people who don’t always agree with your beliefs, but you’ll also learn how to take care of yourself and your needs. By following this advice, you’ll be on your way to having a safe environment. 

*Name has been changed.

9 Love Dos & Don’ts for Your First Week of College

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The first week of college is full of opportunities to meet new friends (and SOs!). You’re entering a social scene where you know few (if any) people, and that means the dating pool is a whole new ballgame. From the vast number of guys you’ll meet during orientation week or first week of classes, you’ll probably find a few who pique your interest. But before you go wild with the new selection of guys and girls at your disposal, beware of these love don’ts that many freshmen commit during their first few weeks at college, and remember these love do’s so you can make the most of your college dating experience!

DON’T Get too Serious About the First Person You Meet

You met a cute guy or girl! Now you’re wondering when he or she will text you back, what he’s doing this weekend, and if the two of you will end up dating… but hold up! While being open to a relationship is a good outlook to have, remember that you’re only one week into college. Is your new crush really that amazing, or are you attached to the idea of security and familiarity that comes with being in a relationship?

If you do feel a real connection, that’s great! Continue dating or hanging out (or whatever you want to call it), but Adam LoDolce, dating coach and Founder of Sexy Confidence, says that you shouldn’t close yourself off to other options too soon, even if you’ve hooked up. “You've just been introduced to a whole new world—you’ll limit yourself if you settle down too quickly,” he says. There are plenty of people on campus you haven’t met yet, and college is a time to develop and explore multiple relationships—not just the first one you establish.

If you realize that you’re only attracted to the idea of this guy, then tone it down. You can stay in touch and remain friends with him, but give yourself some distance and time to get to know other people. Even at smaller colleges, you’ll be meeting new people all the time, so don’t feel compelled to attach yourself to the first guy who catches your eye.

DO Say Yes to Actual Dates

Yes, real dating does exist in college! “When a guy you may be interested in asks you out on a date (like, actually asks, ‘Do you want to go out to dinner?’ or, ‘Can I take you on a date?’), say YES,” says Marni Battista, founder of Dating With Dignity. She recommends girls accept the gesture over more common dating techniques in college, such as the casual party invite (because, for all you know, the guy could have texted many girls the same thing). When a guy tries to get to know you on a personal level (outside the party scene), it shows genuine interest that likely goes beyond physical attraction.

However, be cautious and sensible when dating new people. “Make sure you know the guy you’ve agreed to go on a date with, and make sure the place you’re going is near other people and not too far from home,” Battista says.

DON’T Compare Your Love Life to Your New Friends’

Is your roommate staying home every night to talk to her boyfriend? Or are a group of your new, single friends on the hunt for flings? It can be tempting to seek an active love life if everyone else is, but remember that you’re responsible for shaping your own college experience, and you should do whatever is best for you.

“Peer pressure is the name of the game, so don’t fall for it and stand your ground,” says Battista. It’s perfectly fine to move at your own pace when dating or choose not to date at all. Socialize in a way that you are comfortable with, for your own reasons and on your own timeline. Incoming freshmen hail from all backgrounds, so don’t feel pressured to copy someone else’s lifestyle.

If you’re feeling down because your friends all had a crazier night than you during Welcome Week, Battista says, “Trust that the amount of regret and/or hangover you’ll be feeling tomorrow will be minimal compared to your friends.”

DO Set Clear Boundaries

The first week of college is unpredictable, but that doesn’t mean your hook-ups have to be. Don’t think you have to push the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with just because other people in college have more experience than you, or you think it’s “what everyone does in college.”

“People (especially men) are testing the boundaries of what they can get away with. Your job is to set your boundaries and establish a personal comfort zone with the other sex,” Battista says. So before you even put yourself in a hook-up situation, set your boundaries so you can clearly express them to a guy when you’re in the moment.

“If you don't want to go too far physically, let your guy know your limits in advance,” says Briana Morgan, a senior at Georgia College. In your normal state of mind, this sounds manageable. However, many college hook-ups begin at parties where alcohol is involved, and that affects how articulate you are. If you plan to drink, do so responsibly, because too much alcohol can also impair your judgment and compromise the boundaries you set earlier.

DON’T Expect a Relationship From a Random Hook-up

So you ended up going home with the hot guy or girl you were flirting with all night—score! But a few days have passed and he or she still hasn’t contacted you. What gives?

We hate to break it to you, but maybe your hook-up was just that: a hook-up.

The college dating scene is no stranger to miscommunication (and straight-up players), so prepare yourself mentally and emotionally if you do decide to hook up (being physically safe is a given). If the idea of a no-strings-attached hook-up doesn’t sit well with you, don’t hook up. Nothing can ruin your arrival at college like being depressed over a crush (we’ve been there!). The post-hook-up lull is distracting and can discourage you from putting yourself out there again to meet people who are actually worth your time.

Briana Morgan, a recent graduate of Georgia College, says, “If you're interested in more than just hooking up, make that clear from the beginning.” By being clear and upfront about your intentions, you’re saving yourself time, effort, and potential heartbreak.

DO Make Yourself Approachable

It’s kind of hard to get someone’s attention (let alone flirt!) if he or she is glued to his phone. You wouldn’t want someone to close himself or herself off like that, so return the favor and leave your phone in your purse when you’re in a social environment. If you’re always looking at your phone screen, you aren’t able to use one of the easiest ways to break the ice: eye contact! Without a distracting screen in front of you, you’re more likely to be aware of your surroundings and make a connection with someone. “If I could go back now and repeat orientation, I would make sure I wasn't on my phone texting all the time. It probably turned a lot of people off,” says Shira Kipnees, a senior at Franklin & Marshall.

Another way to make yourself approachable is to break free from your girl posse. A large group of girls can be intimidating to approach, so occasionally stray away to give that cute guy a chance to talk to you!

DON’T Cling to Your High School SO

In the first few weeks of college, a long-distance SO can be both a gift and a curse. On one hand, he or she acts as a source of security while you’re far away from friends and family. On the other, he or she can prevent you from seeking other opportunities to socialize. “One mistake that I learned from my freshman year was that I spent a good part of orientation texting my boyfriend or Skyping him or talking to him on the phone,” says Shira.

Even though you’re not pursuing other guys, a high school sweetheart can still limit you in areas outside of the dating world. Shira says even though she did make great friends when she started college, it took time because she was really shy. Instead of getting out of her comfort zone to make friends, she would turn to her SO.

Our best advice for balancing a long-distance relationship and college life is to accept that you will be uncomfortable when you don’t know many people yet—but you shouldn’t use this as a reason to retreat to your beau. In fact, embrace your independence! It means you’re making yourself available for new experiences and new friends. Sure, texting your boyfriend is a safer option, but do you really want your college experience to be the same as high school?

DO Make Some Platonic Friends

Remember that not every acquaintance has to be in the running to be your next SO. Learn to appreciate the company of people as they are, not based on a “boyfriend material” checklist. And, who knows—if it’s really meant to be, maybe a “friends first” situation can eventually turn into something more!

Caleb Frank, a senior at Kansas State University, says that guys look for a female friend who they can talk to and trust. “She needs to be somebody who is fun and energetic,” he says. He adds that it doesn’t hurt if the girl is willing to be a wingwoman for her guy friend. (Besides, isn’t that what all good friends do?)

The first year of college is a great time to establish those lasting friendships. Soniya Shah, a senior at Carnegie Mellon University, says, “Do take advantage of everyone being so friendly! This is a great time to meet as many people as you can, whether it's in the dining halls, at orientation activities or just around the dorms.” LoDolce suggests that you try and talk to at least five new people per day. The more people you meet, the better your chances at finding that go-to friend!

DON’T Put Dating Before Schoolwork

It’s easy to get carried away in the fun, new dating scene of college, but remember the main reason you’re at college: to get an education! It may seem like easy sailing at first when your classes haven’t really gotten difficult yet, you’re going to parties multiple times a week, and you’re meeting new guys, but as soon as your first exam or major assignment pops up, you’re going to wish you had adopted a better work/fun balance. It’s fine to enjoy yourself on the weekends—just make sure it is not cutting into your study time!

The first week of college is a scary and exciting time for all freshmen, so we hope these do’s and don’ts will make navigating the college dating scene easier. If you do find yourself in a dating disaster, know that it will eventually pass and that there will be plenty of other campus cuties to pursue. So best of luck on your search, collegiettes, and above all else: have fun and stay safe!

9 Things That Are Only Acceptable in Your Sorority

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1. Reminding all of your sisters how hot they are on a daily basis (both on Facebook and in person).

2. Treating every photo op like a professional photoshoot for Vogue and striking your signature pose (which may or may not include the skinny arm and sorority squat).

3. Smothering someone (your little) with treats, presents and unconditional love after knowing her for only a week.

4. Being super cheesy when expressing love for a sister on her birthday.

5. Hardcore “girl flirting” and having your boyfriend understand that it’s not cheating (but he’s glad rush only happens twice a year!).

6. Acting like a crazy person when someone reciprocates a friendship (accepts a bid).

7. Calling someone close to your age your “mom” or your “baby.”

8. Thinking your sorority is the best just because you and your sisters say it so often.

9. Flashing your sorority symbol like a gang sign.


Committing ‘Floorcest’: The Pros & Cons

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He caught your eye while he was carrying his minifridge into his dorm room. Just as he was passing through the doorway, he looked down the hall at you. Your eyes met for a split second on move-in day, and you knew you wanted to get to know him in more ways than one. But should you really hook up with someone on your floor, the place where you’ll be looking your best and your worst for the next nine months? Before you decide to commit “floorcest” and give that fella a chance, weigh the pros and cons of getting down with a cutie on your floor.

Pro: You already have mutual friends

Living on the same floor means that you both will know a lot of the same people. Your friend groups will certainly overlap, which makes hanging out in group settings that much easier. “Do you want to text Jack and see if he’s free for lunch, or should I?” is what you could find yourself saying to your hook-up when the mid-afternoon munchies hit you between classes.

“I hooked up with this guy on my floor last year, and it actually worked out pretty well,” says Kim, a sophomore at Illinois Wesleyan University. “What made it easier was that our friends were friends with each other… Any time we wanted to hang out with other people besides each other, we already had that built-in group of friends.”

Awkward introductions and long silences after those introductions are not in the cards for your hook-up buddy and your friends if they already know one another. You also don’t have to worry about being jealous of any cute girl friends he may be spending time with, because you know all of his friends! And there isn’t a cute one among them… no one cuter than you, anyway.

Con: Everyone in the dorm will know about it

Remember all those mutual friends you both have? Well, they know that you and your guy have been hooking up for the duration of your relationship. And, what’s worse, they all have an opinion about it.

“I hated that all of my friends, guys and girls, seemed to know all the intimate details of my relationship,” says Ashley, a junior at the University of Mississippi. “They would act as if they were all a part of this thing with me. But they definitely were not.”

Suddenly, your hook-up situation becomes a family affair, and all the people on your floor assume that when you’re walking down the hall to his room, it can only be for one reason. Just like that, you can become the talk of the floor, which can definitely get annoying after a while.

Pro: It’s super convenient

You just got back from a night out with your girls, and he just got back from a night out with the guys. You’re in the elevator on your way up to the floor when you send your go-to text: “Hey, wanna hang out?” The time of night says the rest. Rather than walking a couple blocks to the neighboring dorm, or worse, across campus, you simply have to walk down the hall to your fella’s door if you want a little one-on-one time, or vice versa.

Rebecca, a junior at Indiana University, loved that her boyfriend lived on the same floor as she did when they first started dating. “Whenever I had a bad day or I just wanted to waste time before doing any homework, I knew I had someone to talk to,” she says. “I am guilty of booty-calling my hook-up buddy late at night later than I normally would if I would have had to walk further than 10 yards, but because we were so close, he never said ‘no’ either.”

Once the roomies have been politely sexiled (if there is such a thing as polite sexiling), there’s nothing standing in your way besides a microscopic walk of shame when all the fun is done. Neither of you will talk your way out of hanging out together because of an early morning the next day or a paper that still needs to be written when your rooms are right down the hall.

Con: You’re stuck seeing him on the reg if things go south

Being friends with benefits or hook-up buddies can only last so long. But just because your quasi-relationship ends doesn’t mean you get to cut that person out of your life. Living on the same floor as your ex-hook-up buddy means that you still have to see him or her riding the elevator, studying in the lounge, walking back to his or her room between classes, etc. You can’t really hide from your ex-hook-up or avoid him or her like you would normally be able to do if you weren’t living in the same building.

Jill, a sophomore at the University of Kansas, says that was the hardest part of hooking up with someone on her floor. “After we ended things, I didn’t really want to have anything to do with him, but that wasn’t really possible since he was friends with all of my friends and lived five doors down the hall from me at the time,” she says.

Jill says you may be forced to skip the “visibly wallowing in self-pity phase” of any breakup and jump to remaining cordial with your ex-lover. However, eventually the awkward tension will subside.

Con: You’ll both see the other people you’re hooking up with

On your way to brush your teeth, you glance down the hall and see someone, a girl, follow your guy into his room. But wait, he’s not really your guy. And two nights ago, you did bring that other guy back from the frats with you. And your dorm hook-up may or may not have been in the lounge as you passed by to get to your room. You didn’t have a talk about being exclusive, so technically, he hasn’t done anything wrong, but that can’t stop you from cringing at the fact that you were just in that very same bed with him last night.

“It wasn’t fun seeing him with other girls,” Ashley says. “That was sort of the reason why I stopped seeing him. I realized I couldn’t handle watching some guy I hooked up with hang out with other girls and do the same things with them as he did with me.”

If he didn’t live on your floor, you wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him with other girls as often or him seeing you with other guys.

Pro: He’s gone through the same awkward moments as you

From move-in day, when your parents were asking your RA about safety protocols, to waiting for an empty dryer in the laundry room while your wet clothes soaked through your hamper, there are a lot of universally awkward moments that come with living in a dorm that will bring you two together. Not only can you both enjoy the fact that you’ve survived these awkward times together, you can even bond over getting locked out of your rooms and being forced to get a spare key from the front desk worker in the lobby.

That’s what happened to Amy, a junior at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. “I had just gotten out of the shower and was walking to my room when I realized I didn’t have my key, and I didn’t have a roommate, so I couldn’t just make her open the door,” she says. “So, in my bathrobe, I carried my shower caddy downstairs to get a new key from the front desk. And that’s where I met this guy. He had done the same exact thing, only his roommate was asleep and he didn’t want to wake him up! … We ended up becoming friends and actually hooked up a couple times.” Never underestimate the power of a cute bathrobe and an awkward moment.

Con: Sleepovers may not be in the cards when your bed is just down the hall

Because it’s so convenient for you to walk down the hall to his room, it’s just as easy for you to walk back at the end of the night. Rather than getting comfy and snuggling up for a closing cuddle sesh, he remembers that he really does have a two-page response due for his English class tomorrow. So you can’t stay. You’ve pulled this same move on him when you had that Spanish test to study for, but it still stings a little knowing that you’re both taking advantage of the fact that you live just down the hall.

“It got old,” Jill says. “We would hook up every other day after I got back from my … history lecture and before he left for his chemistry lab. And afterward, we would go our separate ways. I also didn’t feel the need to have him spend the night, and he didn’t feel the need to have me spend the night. Soon enough, we realized we were really just using each other.”

Sleepovers don’t seem to be necessary when you know that you’ll just see each other in the morning anyway on your way out of the dorm for class. Why share your twin-size bed if you don’t have to?

Hooking up with someone on your floor can be intriguing. You know you probably shouldn’t do it just to save yourself from all of the awkward tension that’s surely to follow, and yet, you can’t help but take your eyes off of him or her. If you ever find yourself wanting to make a move on a floormate, figure out if you can live with that decision (without cringing every time you think about it) for the rest of the year. Because he or she will be there. For the rest of the year.

11 Reasons to Date a Nerd, as Told by 'The Big Bang Theory'

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Everyone has a little bit of nerd inside of them. But what about those guys who are full-on geek? We might tend to avoid or friend-zone nerdy guys, leaving them to their comic books and video games. But why not give them a chance? Though we may overlook geeky guys after we see their superhero T-shirt collections, dating a nerd can come with a lot of benefits. A relationship with a nerd has a great chance to live long and prosper, and the characters on The Big Bang Theory show us why.

1. He can take care of your computer problems.

2. He’ll be extremely clear with you when it comes to defining the relationship.

3. You can brag to your friends about his high IQ.

4. He won’t be afraid to show you his sensitive side.

5. You'll never have to worry about pretending to care or know about sports, because chances are, he doesn’t either.

6. He’ll take you to new places.

7. Your parents will be impressed by his intelligence.

8. He’ll find you the best seat in the house.

9. You don’t have to hide your embarrassing obsessions, because he’ll understand the fixation.

10. He’ll give you thoughtful presents that other guys can’t.

11. And finally, he’ll always use a scientifically proven approach.

5 Cute Ways to Say Goodbye Before Leaving for College

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You’re so close the best time of your life: college! This upcoming academic year is going to be awesome. You’re going to push yourself to accomplish some amazing things, and you’ll make friendships that will last a lifetime in the process.

Plus, college means carefree weekends, and, if you’re lucky, no morning classes. No more Mom and Dad telling you what to do, no more high school drama and no more seven-hour school days!

Wait, slow down. Was that…“no more Mom and Dad”?

Being away from your parents can be one of the hardest transitions freshmen go through. No matter how well you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll be fine without them, during the first couple days of college, it’s going to hit you: You are going to miss your parents, and they will miss you even more.

With this in mind, remember to take the time to say a proper goodbye to your parents before you leave home. Here are some super cute, super sentimental and, most importantly, super heartfelt ways to say goodbye to the people who have helped you the most in your life.

1. Plan family time

Good, old-fashioned quality time with your parents can never be underestimated. Planning an evening out at your favorite go-to restaurant or even just having a movie night are both good options to say a bittersweet goodbye to your parents before you depart. Take this time to let your parents know how much you’re going to miss them when you leave (even if you don’t believe it yet!). Let them spoil you once more before you go off to live “adult life” in your dorm, and don’t forget to say a big “thank you” for all they’ve done.

“Because I was so focused on saying my goodbyes to my friends from school, I totally forgot about saying goodbye to my parents!” says Ariah Hammond, a recent high school graduate. “I made it up to them by hanging out with them and my brothers. We played board games and just had a family night.”

2. Make a goodbye video

A video is an adorable way to say goodbye to your parents if you’re not so great with in-person goodbyes. Whether it’s a DVD left at home, a video message sent over email or even a FaceTime date, a video of you saying goodbye will let your parents know you’ll miss them. You can also take your camera around your dorm once you arrive and show Mom and Dad your completed room!

3. Make a scrapbook

Similar to a goodbye video, a scrapbook can be an even more sentimental gift for your parents to cherish. You can fill it with pictures of you and your mom when you were a child, tickets from game days with your dad or just scribbled notes about your favorite memories you’ve had with your family. A scrapbook is the perfect gift to give Mom and Dad the day before you leave for college (or just hand it to them when they drop you off if you don’t want to endure your mom sobbing all over you).

4. Hide surprise goodbye notes

Hiding little “Love you!” or “Miss you!” notes around your house that your parents will find when you’re away is a super adorable way to say an extended goodbye. Hide the notes in places you know your parents won’t search or get to until a certain time.

For example, put a note inside a pair of shoes your dad won’t wear until the beginning of winter or inside the book that’s next on your mom’s to-read list. If there’s a box of Halloween decorations sitting in the basement, write a “Happy Halloween” letter for your family to find for when they set up the decorations for the year!

Your parents will miss your company, but you’ll be there in spirit! Plus, the benefit of the delayed goodbyes is that your parents won’t feel like the separation is final; they’ll be able to get used to the idea of you being out of the house (completely) much more gradually. If you want your parents to know you miss them right away, sneak a goodbye note into the car when they drop you off on move-in day. Your parents will be reminded that even though you just moved out, you’re already thinking about them!

5. Give them a Facebook shout-out

Chances are your parents are hip and modern and have decided to invade on our generation by joining Facebook. While in the past you may have spent all your energy trying to block certain content from reaching your dad’s News Feed or yelling at your mom for sending friend requests to all your childhood friends, Facebook can actually be a great way to say goodbye to your parents.

By posting a favorite picture of you and your parents or simply tagging them in a status, you’ll let your mom and dad know that you miss them. Plus, by publicly declaring to the Internet that your parents have Facebook accounts, you’ll earn brownie points for showing them you aren’t (totally) embarrassed by them!

While college promises years of freedom, independence and adventure, leaving your parents is hard. The two most important people in your life are no longer going to be there for you 24/7, and for many collegiettes, it’s a difficult adjustment.

“Make the most of your last few weeks with your parents and come up with a way to say goodbye that will mean something to them,” says Rachel Spenik, a sophomore at John Carroll University. “I didn’t think much of it when my parents first dropped me off for college; I just got out of the car and rushed off to my dorm. But by the second or third day, I was calling home every night.”

Make sure you take the time to say a proper goodbye before you leave, but always know that the goodbye isn’t forever!

How to Interact With College Professors

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Your college career is about to take off, bringing about changes in scenery, new friends and exciting experiences. In the midst of all of the excitement, you also need to consider the changes you’re going to come across in the classroom, especially how you’ll interact with your professors.

A collegiette’s relationship with her professor is a lot different than a high school student’s relationship with her teacher. Professors “treat students as young adults because [that’s what] they are,” says Desiree Hanford, a journalism lecturer and the Journalism Residency Coordinator at Northwestern University. You’re expected to keep up with all the coursework and be diligent about asking for help if you’re falling behind, since professors will rarely keep tabs on you and your assignments. But while being proactive about asking for help is crucial in college, the thought of doing it—or even forming a relationship with your professor at all—can be intimidating. But have no fear, incoming collegiettes! We rounded up a few tips you can put to use so you can form a solid relationship with your professors, who can be fantastic resources when you’re looking for jobs, internships and other opportunities.

1. Know how to address them

Mr., Mrs. or Ms. so-and-so is typically not the best way to address your professor. Nate Kreuter, an assistant professor of English at Western Carolina University, says that your safest bet is to address your professor as “Professor” followed by his or her last name. If you’re communicating with her by email, the signature on her response will give you an indication of how she prefers to be addressed, so use what she specifies in all future correspondences, whether it’s “Professor,” “Dr.,” or a first name. The way your professor lists her name on the course syllabus may also help you figure out what to call her. If she prefers to be called by her first name, however, that probably won’t be indicated on the syllabus, so pay attention on the first day of class to see if she makes any specifications. You should follow these instructions with lecturers as well.

When addressing a teaching assistant, you can most likely use a first name, as these individuals are likely not much older than you. However, address them as “Mr.” or Ms.” so-and-so if you contact them before class in case they prefer a more formal interaction. In your first class session, your TA will indicate her preferred name when introducing herself, so you can feel safe sticking to that.

2. Introduce yourself at the start of the semester 

Putting a name to a face will help your professor remember who you are, laying a foundation for a meaningful professional relationship.  It will also help you get past any fears you may have about chatting with her later in the semester. You can introduce yourself after one of the first lectures. Don’t do this before a lecture, however, because your professor will likely be focused on preparing for the class, says Julia Mossbridge, a research associate in the department of psychology at Northwestern University who has also taught courses.

When you introduce yourself, don’t just leave it at your name. “It’s always awkward when a student approaches me and just tells me their name and that they are looking forward to the class,” Mossbridge says. “I am generally flattered, but I know that I’ll forget her name because there was no real content to our conversation. If, however, the student approaches me after a lecture… to ask a question or make a comment, we usually get into a real conversation and I remember her much better.” Listening closely to class lectures and discussions is a fantastic way to come up with some ideas for conversations to have with your professor after class. Plus, it shows you’re interested in the course—something professors always love to see!

3. Sit in a seat in class where you’ll pay attention

In order to build a sound relationship with your professor, it’s important to be respectful and attentive to her in the classroom. By not paying attention in class, you’re essentially telling your professor that you don’t care about the work she put into planning a lecture or discussion for you and your classmates. Plus, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you fall asleep for an hour or spend the entirety of the class whispering with the friend next to you. If you can’t give respect to your professors in the classroom, they’ll be less inclined to form a relationship with you in other settings.

So how do you make paying attention easier in class? Sit somewhere where you likely won’t be distracted. Some students can pay attention just fine in the back, but up front, you’ll be less likely to become mesmerized with whatever is on the computer screens of your classmates in front of you. Also, if you find yourself tempted to chat with friends sitting nearby, it may be wise to put a bit of distance between yourselves until class ends.

There’s also another bonus to picking your seat wisely.  For some professors, where you sit can influence how well they remember you. Joan Linsenmeier, a faculty member in Northwestern University’s department of psychology, recommends that students sit in seats where professors can make eye contact with them in class. “In a small classroom, all seats may be just fine,” Linsenmeier says. “In a lecture hall, I think that the outer seats in the first few rows are not good choices. … (The students in these seats) are the ones for whom I’d have to turn my head most—thus, turning away from much of the class.”

In addition to helping some professors remember you, eye contact is also a good indicator that you’re paying attention. You really can’t go wrong with making yourself more visible! 

4. Nix the phone and Internet in class

Spending the majority of class on your phone or on the Internet is a fantastic way to make sure your professor will remember you—but not in a good way. Many college professors will give you the privilege of using your laptops to take notes during class, and you should be using them for that purpose only!

Checking your email and Facebook notifications not only hinders your ability to absorb the information you need to know for your exams and assignments, but it’s also disrespectful to the professor, who put in a lot of time to prep for the lecture or discussion. She WILL be able to tell when you’re smiling at a cat gif and will remember that you weren’t listening in class, something that will hinder any sort of professional relationship you want to form later on outside of the classroom.

All of this goes for phone use, too. If you need to use your phone during class because of an emergency, then step outside. There’s really no better way to tell a professor you’re not interested in the class than by scanning your phone and the Internet throughout your entire time in the room. If you’re not respectful to her, then she won’t be likely to want to get to know you. Do your professional relationship a favor: shut off your phone and turn off the Wi-Fi connection on your laptop until class is over.  

5. Ask questions in class, but don’t waste time  

When you’re listening to a lecture or discussion and something comes up that you don’t quite understand, you should feel free to ask the professor for clarification. “If you don’t understand a concept that the professor is trying to convey, chances are other classmates are also lost, and asking a question would reflect your initiative, help your professor explain their point and help your classmates learn,” says Jeanette Ortiz, a lecturer in the Northwestern University School of Communication.

But be careful not to ask questions that are explicitly answered in your syllabi or other course materials. This is “tiresome” and “shows a lack of maturity,” says Tom Klinkowstein, a professor of New Media Design at Hofstra University. If you have questions about an individual situation rather than the class material, such as making up missed coursework, then ask about that after class or during office hours. “The more questions, the better, as long as they’re questions that show curiosity and show respect for other people’s time,” Klinkowstein says.

That being said, don’t just ask a question for the sake of standing out, Ortiz says; ask a question when you’re genuinely interested or confused. Professors can tell when your question is rooted in a desire to impress them instead of in real curiosity. “Have you ever tried to ‘appear’ engaged when you’re telling a story? It’s obvious, right?” Mossbridge says. “Professors have the same skill as you do when determining when a student is (not engaged), but it is honed about 1,000 times better, because we get lots of practice. Be authentic, or don’t go to class.”

6. Go to office hours

If you have questions that can’t be answered succinctly during class, are not directly related to course material or that pertain specifically to you, heading to office hours is a great option. Most professors list their pre-scheduled office hours on their syllabi, but if those times don’t work for you, email your professor to make an appointment.

There is no optimal number of times to go to office hours, Mossbridge says. Instead, she says, go as often as you need help. Just make sure to be prepared with specific questions any time you go. “If a student stops in during office hours to discuss a specific topic, the student should do their research in advance so the professor and student can make the best use of their time together,” Hanford says.

It may seem intimidating to meet one on one with a professor during office hours, but don’t be afraid to take the leap! Even if professors may be more inclined than your high school teacher to treat you like an adult, that doesn’t mean they expect you to be perfect. “Before you get intimidated, it’s good to remember that most professors recognize that adults, like kids, make mistakes and can misunderstand ideas. The very professor you may be intimidated by probably just asked a colleague this morning to explain something to her,” Mossbridge says. So if you bombed an exam, missed a couple classes or just don’t understand what the heck your professor is talking about, head to office hours and speak up!

But that being said, do have a good reason to go to office hours. “Office hours should be used mostly for discussing academic questions, or for continuing a prior conversation,” Ortiz says. “It is unusual for a student to attend office hours to simply ‘hang out,’ which may annoy professors, or give them the impression that the student is excessively needy or trying to gain some advantage.” So, collegiettes, only meet with your professor if you have a specific plan of action. If not, then don’t waste her time!

7. Say hello outside of class

Believe it or not, professors are people, too, so you’re bound to see them outside of class in hallways or around campus. When this happens, don’t be afraid to say hello. If you’re passing them in the hallway, a quick “Hi, how are you?” should do the trick. If you have a longer encounter with one of your professors, such as standing in line at a campus coffee shop, you can make small talk. Chat about the weather, ask if she enjoyed her weekend or comment about your busy week. The exchange doesn’t need to be long—a couple minutes is fine—but when you get your coffee and head out, say a quick goodbye if your professor is nearby and not chatting with someone else.

If you initially encounter your professor in a conversation with someone else, however, use your judgment to determine if you should interrupt. If your professor makes eye contact with you, feel free to give a wave and quick hello, but continue on unless she takes initiative to lengthen the exchange. If she’s immersed in her conversation, however, don’t go out of your way to interrupt. You’ll likely see her outside of class sometime again.

8. Look for ways to interact with professors outside the classroom

A great way to interact with your professors in different settings is to get involved in a lab or project they’re leading. “If all of your academic questions have been answered and you would like to continue working with a professor, then you may want to consider getting involved in their research or setting up an independent study,” Ortiz says. She recommends inquiring about opportunities right away via email, before or after class, or during office hours. If you decide to shoot your professor an email, introduce yourself and identify what class of hers you’re taking. Then, let her know that you’ve been looking at her research, it sounded interesting to you and you’d be interested in learning about any opportunities to work with her. But before doing this, make sure to actually read up a bit on the professor’s work to ensure that it interests you, or else you both may be in for a less-than-ideal experience working together! And at the end of your email, always remember to thank your professor for her time.

Keep in mind that when looking for research assistant positions, it’s possible that there may not be any openings for at least another semester. “(Students) need to understand that it may be weeks, months, another semester before such a thing becomes available that’s (relevant) to their interest,” Klinkowstein says. Because of this, he recommends expressing your interests early so you can be kept in mind for any openings that come up later on.

But while you’re waiting, Ortiz says you can still learn about the professor’s research. “If the professor does not have space available on any projects, students can ask to attend lab meetings… in order to build a base of knowledge in the professor’s research area, and ask to be considered for a project during the next academic term,” she says.

If you don’t find a lab or project that fits your interest, an equally great way to get to know your professors is to get involved in an organization where you have the opportunity to mingle with them. “One of my clubs has a faculty and student dinner once a month where we invite a lot of faculty in different departments to join club members for a dinner,” says Franklin & Marshall College junior and HC Co-Campus Correspondent Shira Kipnees. Shira says these dinners have helped her develop solid relationships with her professors in a setting other than class. “We can talk about a variety of topics not related to topics within the classroom, and they often get to know me better and help me pick better classes or help me figure out how to better prepare for my future,” she says. “One professor who I interact with a lot at dinners actually became one of my advisers and helped me plan out my whole major.”

If faculty/student dinners don’t sound like your cup of tea, you can also get to know your professor better through attending lectures, discussions or readings they may be holding. Klinkowstein encourages his students to go to those that interest them. “There’s a lot of opportunities for outside lectures, some of which I organize,” Klinkowstein says. “Most students do not understand the importance of finding a way to go to that. … I encourage them to see the university more holistically than ‘I go to this class, I go to this class.’” To find out about interesting academic events, sign up for department email listservs, look online at department calendars, peruse bulletin boards in academic buildings or ask your professors.

 

Life on a college campus can be quite stressful, especially when adjusting to a whole new class structure. But if you keep these tips in mind, you’ll be able to ease the transition and focus on expanding your knowledge. Have a great first semester, incoming collegiettes!

7 Illnesses You Might Catch in College (& How to Avoid Them)

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College is a stressful time. During the school year, we run around campus like there’s no tomorrow, often not sleeping enough and eating a pretty poor diet. And although we feel invincible, neglecting our health for too long can eventually weaken our immune system to the point that we catch any bug going around. Luckily, HC is here to help you fight them! We asked health experts about some of the most common diseases on college campuses, and they offered their advice for how to avoid them in the first place.

1. Meningitis

What it is

There are many types of meningitis. The term refers to “an infection of the space between the brain and the outer covering that envelops the brain, an area called the meninges,” says Gerald Ryan, M.D., director of clinical services at the University of Wisconsin—Madison University Health Services. Most of these infections are relatively harmless.

According to Robert D. Ernst, M.D., medical director of University Health Service at the University of Michigan, symptoms include headache, fever and stiff neck. “This is most commonly caused by viruses … like the common cold (coughing, sneezing and sharing of germs),” Dr. Ernst explains.

Although most viral types of meningitis are nothing to worry about, forms of the disease caused by bacteria are much more serious. “Bacterial meningitis is potentially life-threatening or associated with permanent neurological damage,” Dr. Ernst says. This is why it’s important to diagnose your meningitis early on.

Because meningitis is most often caused by a virus, it tends to be highly contagious. “Most cases of meningitis occur in babies and elderly people,” Dr. Ryan says, but if your immune system is run down, you are also at risk of contracting it in its least serious form.

With that in mind, you should be aware that “the type of meningitis that everyone is concerned about in the college age group is meningococcal meningitis,” Dr. Ryan says. “Fortunately, meningococcal meningitis is not very common, but unfortunately, it is very serious and has a high fatality rate.” The reason many cases of meningococcal meningitis occur in college is that we’re exposed to many new people at once.

How to avoid it

There are vaccines you can get that prevent certain types of bacterial meningitis, including one for meningococcal meningitis. According to Dr. Ryan, this vaccine is recommended for all college students before they start school. However, this form of prevention is not 100 percent effective.

But the best way to avoid the disease is much more straightforward. “Prevention of meningitis is pretty much the same as any other infectious illness,” Dr. Ryan says. “Wash your hands frequently, don’t share eating or drinking utensils with others and cover your mouth and nose with your elbow when you sneeze or cough.” Simple enough!

How to treat it

Most viral meningitis will go away without treatment within a week or so. “However, as early in the course as possible, it is important to rule out bacterial causes of meningitis,” Dr. Ernst says. This means that a doctor will prescribe you antibiotics in case your meningitis is caused by bacteria rather than a virus. In order to exclude bacterial meningitis entirely, you’ll have to have a spinal tap (an analysis of the fluid in your spine).

2. HPV

What it is

Human papillomavirus, or HPV, “refers to a family of very common wart-forming viruses that are spread by skin-to-skin contact,” Dr. Ernst says. “In the case of the subtypes of HPV associated with genital warts and cervical cancer, this generally means intimate contact. It is possible to acquire the virus and to spread it to others even in the absence of visible warts.”

Some subtypes of HPV are specifically sexually transmitted infections, but others can cause warts on the hands and feet, which can spread easily in places like locker rooms or shared bathrooms, according to Dr. Ernst.

Although this infection can cause obvious warts, there are often no noticeable symptoms of HPV. Unfortunately, there’s no way to detect it in the absence of symptoms, and it can spread regardless.

Finally, “certain subtypes are associated with genital warts and others are associated with cervical dysplasia or cervical cancer, which are detected by a pap smear,” Dr. Ernst says.

How to avoid it

Luckily, there is a very effective three-step vaccine against HPV, Gardasil, but its effectiveness is only guaranteed if you have never been infected with the virus. “This is why the vaccine is recommended for adolescent girls and boys,” Dr. Ryan says. “Current recommendations are to offer the vaccine to women up through the age of 26, but for sexually active women, the benefit of the vaccine declines pretty rapidly after the age of 18, as most women acquire the infection early in their sexual activity.”

Although Gardasil has its limits, it “protects against acquisition of the two most common subtypes of HPV associated with genital warts and the two most common subtypes associated with cervical dysplasia and cancer,” Dr. Ernst says. “This is why the vaccine is such a major public health advance – it actually prevents cancer.” Repeat: prevents cancer. Who said science was boring?

Since an HPV infection of the cervix is a sexually transmitted infection, condoms are the other recommended method of prevention. “Most women, if they have not had the vaccine and do not use condoms, will eventually be infected with HPV viruses,” Dr. Ryan says.

How to treat it

When dealing with HPV, your motto should be: “better safe than sorry.” Prevention methods are very advanced, whereas treatment is far from it. Dr. Ernst explains that HPV-induced warts can be treated, but the infection itself cannot. There are surgical procedures for dysplasia or cancer of the cervix should it develop, but these methods do not cure the virus either.

The good news is that, typically, HPV infections are transient — they disappear spontaneously after a few months.

3. The flu

What it is

The flu is similar to the common cold, but, according to Dr. Ernst, “influenza is a more serious respiratory illness that presents with sudden onset of high fever, cough, body aches and fatigue.” The flu stems from a highly contagious virus.

How to avoid it

Getting a vaccine each fall is the most effective method of prevention against the flu. With that in mind, the effectiveness of the vaccine can fluctuate seasonally. “Influenza viruses mutate frequently, and that is why the content of influenza vaccines changes from year to year,” Dr. Ryan explains. “Epidemiologists have to make a guess each year as to what they think is likely to cause influenza in the coming year.” This is why some years the vaccine is a good match for the flu, while other years it isn’t as effective.

In addition to getting vaccinated, “it is important to cover your mouth or nose when coughing and sneezing, because influenza can be spread by aerosolized droplets,” Dr. Ryan says. Also, make sure you wash your hands frequently and consider carrying hand sanitizer with you to further prevent the risk of catching the flu.

How to treat it

There’s over-the-counter medication available to treat flu symptoms, but it doesn’t make the infection go away. Dr. Ernst has recommendations to treat seasonal cold symptoms, which will also help with flu symptoms: “Get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluid, take ibuprofen and decongestants.” You should see your flu disappear within one or two weeks. For more information, check out this comprehensive website.

4. Mono

What it is

Mononucleosis “is very common and is caused by viruses spread through saliva,” Dr. Ernst says. This is why mono is often referred to as “the kissing disease,” although you can also catch it by interacting with a person who is sneezing and coughing.

Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to figure out from whom you might have caught mono. Dr. Ryan explains that it can take 30 to 50 days between when you get infected and when you actually notice symptoms.

As for the symptoms associated with mono, they are unpleasant, to say the least. “It manifests as fever, painful swollen tonsils and enlarged lymph nodes,” Dr. Ernst says. “There can frequently be a generalized body rash and sometimes an enlarged spleen. Often patients experience fatigue.”

Depending on the severity of your infection, “symptoms may be mild and resolve after just a few days, but sometimes patients are quite ill for up to several weeks,” Dr. Ernst says.

How to avoid it

“There is not treatment for mono other than supportive care,” Dr. Ryan says. In the same way, there is no foolproof method of prevention, except remembering to wash your hands and not kissing or sharing glasses and silverware with someone who has mono. But on the bright side, “you can only get mono once,” Dr. Ryan says. “For some people, the antibody levels remain elevated for a long time, so any repeat testing would be positive, but you can only be infected and become symptomatic once.”

Unfortunately, even when you have recovered from mono, you can still infect others. “Once recovered from the acute episode [i.e., being ill], the virus is still shed, but at a lower level,” Dr. Ernst says. “The viruses that are most commonly associated with mono [Epstein-Barr virus, or EBV] are members of the herpes family, so once acquired, we never rid ourselves of them.”

5. Pinkeye

What it is

The proper name for pinkeye is conjunctivitis, which can be contracted through either viruses or bacteria. “Most cases of pinkeye are viral and not bacterial,” Dr. Ryan says. “In general, bacterial conjunctivitis will produce a lot of yellow drainage [in your eye] all day long. With viral conjunctivitis, the person may have some crusting and discharge when they wake up in the morning, but during the day the drainage is usually watery and not thick and yellow.”

How to avoid it

There is no vaccine against pinkeye. The only way to prevent an infection is through frequent hand-washing, especially if you are or have been in contact with someone who has the disease. This is all the more important if you have contracted pinkeye yourself, because, according to Dr. Ryan, the infection can spread very quickly through skin-to-skin contact. That is to say, if a person with pinkeye rubs the infected eye, the infection will spread to his or her hand and to anything that hand touches.

How to treat it

Conjunctivitis will usually disappear on its own after a few days, “but, to be safe, [you should] cover with a topical antibiotic eyedrop,” Dr. Ernst says.

6. Bladder infections (UTIs)

What they are

Urinary tract infections, or bladder infections, “are among the most common infections we see in college women and may recur frequently,” Dr. Ernst says. These infections can cause a lot of discomfort, as they “typically present with painful and more frequent urination (sometimes blood in the urine).”

Urinary tract infections are caused by the migration of bacteria from the vaginal area into the urethra and the bladder. “Intercourse seems to facilitate this,” Dr. Ernst says.

How to avoid them

Thankfully, bladder infections can be quite easily prevented. Dr. Ernst explains that both staying hydrated and peeing regularly (as opposed to holding it in) are key. Peeing after sex is especially important, because here the retained urine could worsen the infection.

Some women are more prone to UTIs, “and for some who have multiple infections each year, we sometimes prescribe a daily antibiotic to prevent subsequent episodes,” Dr. Ernst says.

How to treat them

If you catch a UTI, your doctor will prescribe you antibiotics, according to Dr. Ernst. You should feel better within a day or two!

7. MRSA

What it is

MRSA stands for Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus and “is an emerging skin infection that we are seeing much more commonly,” Dr. Ernst says. “The typical presentation is an enlarged, red, painful skin boil, which is basically a pocket of pus under the skin.”

This skin condition spreads very easily through contact with contaminated surfaces. “Gym equipment, locker rooms [and] towels are often implicated as sources of infection,” Dr. Ernst explains. Because of crowded campus gyms and dorm showers, for instance, college students are at a high risk for MRSA.

How to avoid it

MRSA spreads quickly, but there are some measures you can take to avoid contracting it. “Avoidance of shared personal items (like towels) and either spray disinfection or avoidance of direct skin contact with gym surfaces can prevent spread,” Dr. Ernst says. Make sure to always wipe down your gym equipment after using it, and before as well if you didn’t see the previous person do it. Once again, wash your hands as often as possible, and you should be good to go!

How to treat it

If you contract MRSA, you will be prescribed antibiotics, but these alone will not make the painful boils disappear. Warm soaks will sometimes do the trick, but most often you will have to have an office procedure, according to Dr. Ernst. A doctor will remove pus from the boils under local anaesthesia. This operation is messy and painful, so make sure to follow our prevention tips in order to avoid it!

Our late teens and early twenties should be one of the healthiest times of our lives, but our crazy college rhythms can quickly run our immune systems down. Being in constant close contact with our peers can make us extremely prone to all sorts of viruses and infections, too. But if you follow our tips, you should be well on your way to your healthiest year yet. Take care, collegiettes!

7 Handbag Essentials You Should Never Be Without

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Phone. Wallet. Keys. The three items collegiettes never leave home without (hopefully). While the benefits of these three essentials are pretty self-explanatory, there are a few other key items (pun intended) every girl should have in her go-to handbag. Even the most prepared collegiette can suffer an unexpected mishap, but with a little preparation, you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way! Why’s your handbag so big? It’s full of secrets!

 

1. Portable cell phone charger

It’s a known fact that collegiettes are attached to their phones, and it’s important to always have plenty of battery for uploading Instagrams and Snapchatting the weird people on your commute. For the girl who’s constantly on the move, a portable charger with at least one full charge is perfect for days when you can’t make it back to your room to charge your iPhone… ideal for staying calm, cool and connected. Never miss another Insta opportunity!

2. Tampon stash

There’s nothing worse than getting a visit from Mother Nature when you’re not expecting it (and not prepared!). To keep from having to run back to your dorm room mid-lecture, keep a tampon or two in the zippered section of all of your handbags. That way, no one has to know and you can be sure that you’re covered, no matter which bag you grab!

3. Blotting sheets

Whether you’re coming from the gym, busting a move at a party or you just have combination/oily skin, you’ll probably get a bit shiny from time to time—we all do. Blotting sheets are something collegiettes should always carry with them to absorb any excess oil or shine (or even soften any harsh blush lines). Plus, it’s so much easier than carrying around powder and a brush!

4. Gum

Fresh breath is a must, especially when you’re sharing your calculus book with that cutie in your class. To get rid of morning coffee breath, stash some gum or mints in your handbag to freshen up throughout the day. Plus, offering someone gum is a great way to break the ice!

5. Earbud headphones

Speaking of tech accessories, headphones are an absolute must. How is a collegiette supposed to concentrate on her studying without a study playlist? Or on her workout without her pump-up playlist? More importantly still, you’d be nowhere without your headphones providing you with a great excuse to zone out people you pass on the quad on mornings when you just can’t. For easy transport, opt for a pair of cute but compact earbuds that you can fold up and slip into a small pocket of your bag for those times when you just need to zone out and have a little “me” time.

6. Travel-size perfume

A girl’s got to smell good, even on the go! Stash a mini atomizer filled with your signature perfume in your bag for touch-ups or invest in a rollerball version of your favorite scent. Just dab a bit on your wrists to freshen up and you’ll feel as good as new, anytime, anywhere!

7. Extra underwear

This may seem like an odd choice, but hear us out: sometimes you just need an emergency pair of underwear! If you’re heading to class straight from the gym or you’re looking to stash a change of clothes at your boyfriend’s, you’ll probably want to pack an extra pair of undies, but it can be embarrassing, especially if they fall out of your bag (eek!). For example, we always pack a change of clothes in our carry-on bag when we travel, in case our bag gets lost, but things can definitely get a little awkward when TSA starts rifling through our undergarments…

The solution? The Cupcake Panty by Affinitas, which comes in a super-cute cupcake-shaped cardboard silhouette with no labeling to suggest that there might be a hidden pair of adorable undies inside. Genius, right? You can slip it right into your bag without worrying about what’ll happen if anyone catches a glimpse, just like you would a cutely packaged tampon. There are two available styles, and the super-comfy cotton hipster style comes in purple wine, fuchsia and butterfly print, while the flirty thong comes in dot print, zebra print and powder blue options. Check out the genius design:

Now you can set your pretty, colorful (and dare we say it, Insta-worthy) Cupcake Panty on your desk, in your bathroom or anywhere else you like, without stressing that people will see. Think of the Affinitas Cupcake Panty as every collegiette’s little secret (weapon)! Plus, you can win a “super baker’s dozen” (16) of the Cupcake Panty along with a $1,000 scholarship – find out how and stock your purse this semester!

 

What’s in your purses, collegiettes? Share your essentials in the comments below!

5 Bad Academic Habits You Had Last Year (& How To Ditch Them!)

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Last year, you snoozed your alarm one too many times for that 8 a.m. Calc class, you were Facebook during your entire lecture instead of taking notes and the hardest literature you read was a Chinese takeout menu. Every collegiette has a couple of academic habits she wants to change for the upcoming year. Luckily, Her Campus is here to show you how to fix even your most set-in-stone practices!

1. You procrastinated… all the time. 

We’ve all had that one assignment we just couldn’t get done until the last second, whether it was due to time constraints or just a general feeling of apathy towards the material. Some people, however, have more trouble than others when it comes to completing tasks in a timely manner. If you’re one of those people, don’t stress! There are several steps you can take to become an on-task academic in no time.

Allison Raven, a recent graduate of Rice University, advises collegiettes to buy a special notebook or planner and organize like your life depends on it! “I’m really big on writing things down,” she says. “I use a organizer to write down everything and make a plan of prioritization so that I can figure out what is actually essential versus what isn’t as important to finish first.” Figure out exactly when your assignments are due and what dates crucial events are happening, and schedule them in your planner immediately. As soon as you’re handed your syllabi from professors during your first week of classes, put in all of your assignment, project and exam dates to avoid confusion (and massive amounts of stress!) later on.

Caroline Creasman, a recent graduate at the University of Dallas, also explains the importance of creating your own deadlines so that they fit your schedule. “I like to make my own plan,” she says. “I usually just have way too many things going on and get overwhelmed. But if I sit down and set my own deadlines so that I’m able to manage my schedule, that helps a lot!”

If you have a paper and a presentation due on Friday, it can be stressful trying to do them simultaneously. Instead, create your own deadline and say that you want to get your paper done by Monday so you can focus on your presentation on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. By creating your own system, you will able to juggle way more tasks at once.

Jillian Feinstein, a senior at the College of William & Mary, explains how crucial it is to do your assignments in increments. “It’s so stressful to think, ‘I’m going to sit here for four hours and write this paper,’” she says. “I would totally rather sit on Facebook than do that! But if you break the paper down by the number of pages or paragraphs you want to get done each day, it’s a lot more manageable.”

2. You didn’t get enough sleep.

It’s easy to say, “Just sleep more if you’re tired!” But any collegiette who has struggled with long, sleepless nights knows that just isn’t true. It’s hard to find time to rest with so much going on!

Luckily, there are a couple different ways to stay sane and still get your beauty rest in. First, form a nightly routine. Sure, you could stay glued to your computer screen updating your Pinterest and checking Her Campus instead of going to bed, but it’s time to tear your eyes away!

“I need a very regimented sleep schedule where I’m resting between midnight and 8 a.m. to function,” Allison says. “I know I have to get stuff done to be able to sleep, so I stick to my routine and make sure my work is completed before I go to sleep, so I’m not up late stressing out.”

Decide on an order of events for before you go to bed and stay with it. Maybe brush your teeth and wash your face, drink a warm mug of tea and then read a book for 30 minutes. The trick is to go to bed without your mind racing at a million miles per hour so that you get more restful sleep. Find a routine that’s relaxing for you.

Still can’t get into a set sleeping routine and cycle? Try napping! Research shows that even 15 to 20 minutes of napping can really help you recharge if you’re having an especially stressful or long day.

3. You wasted your weekend time.

Work hard, play hard seems to be the motto of college students everywhere. But what happens if you play a little too hard and waste your weekend away? Sure, there should be some time to get party during the weekend, but the weekend is also a great time to work on papers, finish assignments and attend extracurricular meetings.

One easy way to make sure your weekend time isn’t wasted is to set aside specific time every Saturday or Sunday to do work or accomplish whatever other goals you have, no matter what’s going on. Even if it’s only for two hours, that’s better than no hours spent doing work.

Allison uses this tactic to get the most out of her weekend time. “Every single Sunday morning, I get up early (around 9 a.m.) and go to a coffee shop off campus and spend three or four hours just working,” she explains. “It’s really good for me to get away from campus to clear my head and really focus. It also helps me start my Sunday in work mode instead of lay-in-bed mode.”

Is a coffee shop too noisy for you? Jillian suggests taking advantage of your school’s library for intense study sessions. “I'm a big fan of library lock-ins when I have a lot to get done,” she says. College libraries tend to have all sorts of nooks and crannies, so if the main floor is too distracting, find a nice desk, table or carrel on a different floor or spot of the library. And besides, what gets you more into studious mode than the smell of old books?

However, Allison also believes in the importance of balance when scheduling your weekend time; make sure you have a little fun, too. “In exchange for my Sunday morning study sessions, I almost never do work on Saturdays!” she says.

4. You didn’t pay attention in class.

So you dragged yourself out of bed after snoozing your alarm four times, trudged across campus with your eyes half-closed, plopped yourself down in a seat next to that weird kid who hasn’t showered in several weeks and pulled out your laptop. Should you open a Word document to take notes, or Facebook? Facebook seems to win every time. Obviously, going to class is fantastic; it’s already an accomplishment over sleeping in. But what you do in class is just as important as going!

If you know technology distracts you easily, Jillian suggests taking notes the old-fashioned way (pen and paper, anyone?) and sitting far away from your friends. But if you absolutely need your laptop for the class, Claire O’Connell, a junior at Wesleyan University, suggests turning off your Wi-Fi and sitting in the front of the room. “There's nothing like a professor's eye contact to make you sit up and pay attention!” she says.

Lucy Cruz, a senior at the University of Florida, faced the problem of being unfocused when she took a psychology class last semester. “It was just such an easy class that I felt like I never had to pay attention. I would just sit on Facebook and Twitter the entire time,” she says. “However, the class got harder, and I started having to actually listen to what was going on, but I found it difficult because of the habits I’d grown accustomed to. It was like my body was craving Facebook instead of psychology!”

To keep herself on task, Lucy downloaded the SelfControl app on her computer, which blocks selected websites for an allotted amount of time. “I know a lot of people use it to get homework done, but blocking myself from social media sites during class definitely helped me focus a lot more than me just saying to myself, ‘Pay attention!’ would have,” she says. SelfControl is only available for Macs, but you can try Freedom, a similar app, if you have a PC!

5. You just didn’t go to class.

Motivating yourself to go to class is half the battle. Sure, you know you’re supposed to attend lectures, write papers and learn, but what if the class you’re taking is boring or easy or at 8 a.m. (who wants to be in a calc class at 8 a.m. in the first place)?

In addition to her struggles once she was in class, Lucy also faced trouble just going to her psych class at all. Why go to an easy morning class when she could just sleep in? After sleeping through several lectures, Lucy decided she had to make a change.

“One of the easiest steps to take when trying to make yourself go to a class is reminding yourself why you’re taking that class in the first place,” she says. “Even if it’s just for a graduation requirement, at least you’re actively thinking about why you’re in school.” It’s easy to get lost in the midst of classes and extracurriculars and part-time jobs, but think to yourself: what does your education mean to you?

Lucy also recommends trying to find incentives to go to class. “These can be meaningful incentives, like getting on the Dean’s List at the end of the semester,” she says. “Or just goofy fun incentives, like ‘I will reward myself with this Jolly Rancher if I go to this class,’ work too. Start small and work your way up!”

Of course, some collegiettes need something a little bit louder to keep them from hitting the snooze button. Try a more creative wake up call!

You could buy a Clocky ($39), an alarm clock on wheels that hops off of your nightstand and runs around your room beeping until you get out of bed to turn it off. Or, if you’re looking to get into shape this school year, try the Amico Digital Display 30 Times Lift Plastic Dumbbell Electronic Alarm Clock ($20.85). This little dumbbell-shaped clock needs to be pumped 30 times before the alarm turns off. Think of it as getting up while getting great arms at the same time!

 

The school year is up to you!

Your bad academic habits don’t have to be set in stone! Think about what you want to change, and set out to actively change it. There are always ways to improve your organization and time management, so put some thought into how you can create the best academic experience for you!


Lauren Conrad's Bridal Shower Was Every Girl's Dream

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Let’s be honest: Lauren Conrad is epitome of fabulous. The reality-show-turned-media-mogul has produced two clothing lines, numerous bestselling books and a successful lifestyle website, just to name a few. To top it all off, she’s tying the knot this month with her super adorable beau, William Tell.

Anyone who follows the Laguna Beach star on Instagram knows she has been giving us sneak-peeks into her pre-wedding events. In June, she celebrated her bachelorette party in Mexico with her closest pals. This past weekend, Conrad's friends threw her a bridal shower, which was basically a pastel-lover’s paradise. Snapshots of the bash included flowy dresses, the most dainty china, letterpress napkins and of course, beautiful florals! As each pre-wedding event of hers keeps topping the one preceding it, we’re willing to bet her actual wedding ceremony and reception will be over-the-top stunning. While she’s kept most of the big details private, Conrad spilled a few tidbits about her bridesmaids to Martha Stewart Weddings, which has a feature on Conrad's nuptials in its September issue.

Conrad explained that she picked a bunch of dress options in the same color scheme so that her bridesmaids could have the freedom choose styles. "I don’t think it needs to look too cohesive," she told the magazine. "They’re all individuals, so it’s nice that it doesn’t look too uniform." Rumors floated around a while back that Conrad was prohibiting guests from bringing cameras to her wedding, but whether that's true remains to be seen (For the sake of our Insta feeds, we hope not)! Our fingers are crossed that she'll share at least something with us obsessive fans!

Here are our favorite pics from her pre-nuptial events!

The hashtag dominating her bachelorette party was "#dontTellMrTell," a play off of her fiancé's last name:

Lauren and her besties at her shower:

How pretty is this set up?!

We can't for the big day (and with any luck, the Instas that will go along with it)! Seriously, doesn't LC's wedding blow your Pinterest wedding dreams right out of the water?!

13 Cute Pictures to Take With Your Sorority Sisters

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Tired of going to your usual “sorority squat” and “skinny arm” pose during group pics? Here are a few adorable group picture ideas for you and your sorority sisters to try during your next photo shoot!

1. Take some inspiration from the marching band!

2. Here are some wall sits we wouldn't mind doing. 

3. You'll need a photographer with quick reflexes to take this jumping photo with your sisters.

4. Extra points if your photographer can capture some genuine laughter between you and your sisters!

5. Colorful pants and cute adapted song lyrics make for the perfect group photo.

6. Make the ultimate lineup with your sisters.

7. Sisters on sisters on sisters!

8. An adorable post-initiation picture!

9. We are sisters, we stand together.

10. You'd better have a lot of flowers on hand for this one!

11. Show everyone the shape of you and your sisters' hearts.

12. Sunglasses are a perfect touch to avoid that sun-glare squint.

13. Throw your hands up in the air for the ultimate sister Initiation pic.

Real Live College Guy Dale: Should I Give Him a Second Chance?

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We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I went out with my best friend's roommate and we were in an LDR for six months. We're about an hour away from each other at home and two hours apart at college.

This summer, my boyfriend ended things, saying he couldn't handle the distance and that he'd only have weekends free next year (he has an internship).

Then, straight after, he went on a trip with his guy friends and slept with someone else. He came back and asked me to get back together with him, saying that this made him realize he'd made a mistake and that he loved me. He also said that we didn't know if our relationship would work until we tried properly (which was my argument for not breaking up). I rejected him and told him that we'd review things after summer when we knew what next year in college would be like.

Since then, he's been acting like we're still together! He keeps telling me he loves me, he wants to meet up a lot and he basically acts like he did when he was my boyfriend. All my friends (and his friends) think he'll just dump me again if we get back together, but I know I have to follow my own heart. 

How can I tell if he's going to dump me again and if this is right for me? -Confused in Connecticut

Connecticut,

First things first: I hesitate to label your relationship as “long distance,” because, honestly, an hour or two away from each other isn’t that far away at all. This isn’t your fault, really, and it actually feeds into his reasoning for splitting with you in the first place.

I was in a relationship with a girl who lived over 400 miles away, and while things were hard sometimes, we made it work for a whole year even though we only saw each other once a month. So I don’t think his reason for breaking up the first time was because of distance — I think it was because he wanted to be able to have fun without consequences, like sleep with someone during a trip with his friends.

Now, onto his post-breakup antics…

While I don’t think distance was the original problem, I do think he realized that breaking up was a mistake. Feelings are fickle like that sometimes. The unfortunate truth is that you don’t really know for sure if he’s going to dump you again or even if it’s right for you until you decide whether or not you want to give it another shot.

If your friends are telling you not to do it, I’d heed their warning. Your friends may not know exactly what you need, but they’re usually pretty good at estimating. If all of your friends and all of his friends are telling you not to give in, then you should listen to them.

What you need to figure out now is whether or not you even want him at all. The evidence points to the contrary, Connecticut. He broke up with you and slept with someone else only to come crawling back to you crying, “Mistake! Mistake!” His friends and your friends don’t think it’s a good idea. You told him that you needed to wait, and he’s sitting there acting like you’re in a relationship anyway. This is super important, too; I’d even call it a red flag. He’s not listening to or respecting your wishes. Is that the kind of attribute you look for in a guy?

If you want my opinion, I think you need to move on from this kid. Like I said, you can’t know for sure if he’s going to break up with you unless you take a chance and get back together with him, but I don’t believe that’s something you should consider given his previous actions.

Fill out my online form.

What it's Like Coming Home From Study Abroad

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Studying abroad is the highlight of many collegiettes' college educations, and rightly so. Living in a foreign country for months and sampling the food, art and culture (and, yes, the hotties) is even better than you'd imagined, and you're having the time of your life! But sooner than you'd like, your time in paradise comes to an end and you must pack up your three suitcases (yes, you now have three because you bought so much stuff that you needed a third... good luck lugging those through the airport) and return home. 

As you might imagine, returning from study abroad is bittersweet. On one hand, you can't wait to get back to 'Murica and see your family and friends, enjoy your mom's home cooking and lie on the couch all day with your pets. On the other hand, you've become unexpectedly attached to this once unfamiliar city you now call a home away from home and the beautiful people (and accents) you encountered there. From reverse culture shock to the joys of rediscovering Netflix, we've been through it all, and we're pleased to present you with a compilation of exactly what it's like to return home after studying abroad. 

When you get off the plane and see your family for the first time in months: 

When you finally get home and are too tired and jet-lagged to do anything other than collapse on your bed, which is the single most glorious piece of furniture in existence:

When you eventually wake up the next day and get completely overwhelmed at the thought of having to unpack all of your suitcases:

When your family members start annoying you after only two days at home and you wonder why you ever missed them in the first place:

When you can only order water or soda at a restaurant even though you were legally allowed to drink while abroad:

How you respond when your friends ask if you hooked up with any hot foreign guys:

What actually happened when you met hot foreign guys: 

When you notice the glazed look in your friends' eyes and realize with horror that you're "that girl" who can't stop talking about all of the super cool things you did while abroad: 

When you tell someone you studied abroad in Spain and he or she immediately assumes you're fluent in the language:

When you try to pay for your coffee in euros instead of dollars:

When you finally get your hands on a good, old-fashioned American cheeseburger:

When people ask you about the politics of the country in which you studied abroad:

When you keep confusing your friends at home with your friends from abroad:

When you realize that your college's embarassing nightlife offerings just aren't going to cut it this year:

When you try to talk to your friends about your newly discovered appreciation for football soccer:

When you're shocked to discover that you're actually excited for cheap beer and dirty frat basements:

What you tell people when they ask what you did for fun while abroad:

What you actually did for fun while abroad:

When you Skype with your study abroad besties and confess that you haven't left your house since you got home:

When you catch yourself using foreign slang words in conversation with your American friends:

When your friends and family start talking about the season finales of all your favorite U.S. shows you haven't had a chance to catch up on yet:

When the initial flood of "likes" and comments on your study abroad albums on Facebook starts to dissipate:

When someone asks you how the food was in Italy:

And then when you look in the mirror and realize that months of carbo-loading and countless bar snacks have finally caught up with you:

When you're finally reunited with your one true love, Netflix:

When you've finally had your fill of American food, reality TV binges and reunions with your friends and family, and you catch yourself re-reading your study abroad blog and saying "cheers" when someone holds the door open, and you realize how much you miss your study abroad city: 

But then there's that moment when, somewhere down the line, you dust off your passport and board the plane that will take you back to the city in which you lived, laughed, learned, loved and made so many beautiful memories:

Should I Drop A Class? How to Decide Whether to Stick It Out or Drop It

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A new semester at school means a lot of things: new trends, new crushes, and new classes. Unless the scheduling gods love you—we’re jealous, if that’s the case—nobody’s course load is perfect. Usually, there’s that one class you just can’t stand. The monotone professor? The painfully dull readings? The grueling exams? We know; it’s all too familiar. With these unbearable courses, sometimes dropping a class is your only option. But where you should draw the line between a class you need to drop and a class worth charging through with a (forced) smile? Though everyone’s situation is different, HC’s advice will help you decide whether or not you should say au revoir to that class.

Situation #1: The textbooks were out of stock, so you’re already behind.

Your college’s bookstore can be both a blessing and a curse, but it’s definitely a curse when they suddenly run out of that mandatory textbook. How rude, right? Although you may feel as if you’re already behind, it’s no reason to drop a class. If you were to switch into a different class, wouldn’t you be a little behind too? Instead, ask a friend (or that Campus Cutie who sits next to you) if you could borrow their textbook. Worst case scenario, you stay in one night to catch up on all your work once you finally receive your textbook. Of course this isn’t ideal, but that ABC party seemed lame anyway.

Situation #2: The class is a higher-level course than you need and it’s way too hard.

While it’s great to broaden your intellectual horizons, enrolling in a higher-level course is not always a good move. Although advanced classes have cooler topics—“Abnormal Psychology” sounds a lot more interesting than “Psychology 101”—there are some drawbacks. If the heightened difficulty isn’t enough to make you cringe, you’re going to feel a little left out when you’re the only person in class who doesn’t know the basics. “If your new psychology class actually requires a background knowledge in neuroscience, and you’re just looking for a 100-level course, save yourself the stress,” says Micha Sabovik, the assistant dean at Boston University’s College of Communication.

If you drop this type of class now, you might not have to face its evil academic consequences. “I accidentally took a class that was way above my level and it wasn’t remotely related to what I was interested in,” says HC’s Real Live College Guy Andy Bensch from San Francisco State University. “I withdrew from the class a few weeks later and it didn’t affect my GPA at all.”

Even if your advanced class sounds like a blast, consider taking a lower-level class instead. That way, you can enjoy the advanced class another semester once you’re finally prepared for it and won’t be so worried about keeping up.

Situation #3: The syllabus is so full of assignments that it almost looks like a textbook.

That awkward moment when you pick up a copy of your class’s syllabus and you thought it was a massive reading assignment. Two essays, three quizzes, and a midterm in the first half of the semester alone? Just the look of the syllabus makes you want to drop the class.

In this situation, it’s important to trust your instincts and know when enough is enough. “Gauging academic rigor when registering for a class can be difficult, but syllabus day generally provides a clear idea of what to expect,” says Sabovik, referring to the first day of class when the professor goes over the assignments for the semester. “It’s okay, and important, to acknowledge when you’re in over your head.” If this class is mandatory and wasn’t too hard to get into, try scheduling it with less demanding classes next semester instead.

Situation #4: You failed the first test.

It’s normal not to ace your first exam of the semester—you’re not used to your professor’s setup and you’d rather lounge out on the quad than study. But what about when you bomb a test so bad that you can’t recover? Alas, it may be time to pull the plug on this course. But before you do, make sure you try out all of your options. “You should always reach out to the professor or teaching assistant to see what you can do to improve before dropping the course,” says Sabovik.

However, if it seems like all hope is lost, it may be time to say adios to that class. Instead of damaging your GPA, take a lower-level class; usually, the workload is lighter and easier. If this horrid class is a requirement, try taking the course over the summer. “I had a really crazy workload and bombed one of my Cellular Biology tests because I had a couple other exams that day,” says Lauren from Boston University. “I decided to retake the class over the summer and I really liked it! Taking the class alone gave me a chance to get more out of the material and do better.” Though you may be wary about trading in your SPF 30 for textbooks, you can still have a fun summer if you’re only taking one class!

Situation #5: The professor is driving you crazy.

Whether it’s his constant pacing around the classroom or her lame jokes, there’s something about your professor that makes you want to say goodbye and good riddance to this class. Before you do anything drastic (a.k.a. dropping the course), let’s tap into your psyche to figure out why you don’t like this professor, shall we? Although you may despise their quirks or you heard that your roommate’s boyfriend’s best friend didn’t like the professor last semester, it’s time to take a deep breath, keep calm, and carry on. “Don’t drop a class just because your professor didn’t receive glowing reviews on Rate My Professors,” says Sabovik.

However, some situations deem dropping a class necessary. If you can’t understand your professor or if he or she goes on random rants instead of teaching you the material, you may want to think about dropping. “I literally dropped my Stats class because I couldn’t understand the professor’s thick accent,” says Andy. “She was harder to understand than Boris from James Bond.” If this class is mandatory, make sure you can take the same course with a different professor.

Situation #6: Your friends aren’t in the class.

Sounds pre-collegiette, right? However, some people do schedule their classes to correspond with their friends’. While sitting next to your BFF during Spanish sounds like fun, dropping a class just to be with your friends is kind of silly. Chances are you’ll be more focused without your friends showing you the latest Her Campus article during your lecture! Just because you’re taking a class by yourself doesn’t mean you have to rock the lone wolf status for long. Take this opportunity to make some new friends. Nothing’s better than having a new person to say wave to on campus!

Situation #7: Your class is nothing like you expected.

Although getting into that British history class was like competing in The Hunger Games, you’re a little disappointed now that you’re enrolled. Maybe it’s because the class’s roster lacks Peeta Mellark’s name, or maybe it’s because you don’t get to learn about The Beatles; regardless, your eyes are glued to the clock every single class period. You’re tempted to drop this class and see if Mr. Mellark magically makes an appearance in a different class, but don’t kiss this course goodbye just yet. “You shouldn’t drop a class immediately because it doesn’t cover precisely what you were expecting,” says Sabovik. “You never know when a class will spark a new interest.” No class is perfect, so it’s important to make the best out of a less-than-amazing situation. Besides, your enviable romance with Peeta can wait until next semester.

 

So you decided to drop a class… now what? If the dropping debate isn’t confusing already, you do have some more options! And what collegiette doesn’t have a love-hate relationship with options? Instead of dropping a class and calling it a day, talk to your professor and see what’s best for your situation.

Pass/Fail: Whether you’re overloading this semester or are dealing with personal issues, scoring that stellar GPA can be Mission: Impossible. If you explain your situation to an academic adviser or professor, they may offer a pass/fail option. Translation? Instead of receiving a letter grade, you will either pass the course or fail it. Although you’ll still have to work for your grade, you can relax knowing that your C+ won’t jeopardize your grad school application.

Changing a class: While “Philosophy of Sports” is less-than-thrilling, maybe “Philosophy of Race and Ethnicity” will be more up your alley. If you’re not interested in the course’s specific subject, ask your professor if they have any other recommendations that still fill the requirement you need. You may end up still liking philosophy after all!

Auditing a class: Even though you’re an economics major, you’re secretly a movie buff. But between your part-time job and all your extracurriculars, you just don’t have the time to write a detailed film analysis. When you audit a class, you’re taking a class for pure enjoyment, not for credit. Huh? Auditing a class means that you don’t have to write papers or take exams. I know what you’re thinking—why can’t we audit all our classes? If you’re interested in auditing a class, talk to your academic adviser for more details, like if the class will show up on your transcript or not. Once you’ve decided to audit the class, stop by the course’s respective academic department to solidify your decision. Since you won’t receive any college credit, make sure you’re actually passionate about the subject, because you’re still required to attend each class.

 

Before you officially drop a class, it’s important to get a crash course in your school’s academic policies. Most schools have a deadline for dropping classes and anything after the school’s designated date is a “withdrawal fail,” which doesn’t look cute on your transcript. If you do decide to drop a class, you also need to make sure that you’re taking at least the minimum amount of classes to be a full-time student. Still confused? Talk to your academic adviser. In the meantime, you have some decisions to make!

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