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A Collegiette's Guide to College Football

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It’s sweltering hot. The cute guy that seemed so sweet when you were flirting with him at the tailgate has transformed into a raging beast, screaming “Pass interference!” at the refs until he’s red in the face. The band erupts into the fight song and you have no idea why. The cheerleaders are flipping around and shouting something about “first and 10” and then you could have sworn the other team had the ball but all of a sudden the people around you are screaming “Touchdown!” and jumping up and down and what. Is. Going. On?!

Sound familiar?

college football game

College football is fun when you’re painting up with your friends or tailgating with gorgeous guys, but when the actual game starts, it’s easy for non-sports-nut collegiettes to get completely lost between the flags and positions and numbers and just wish they had stayed home instead. But don’t lose hope yet — even if the words “first down” mean absolutely nothing to you right now, HC’s handy football guide will turn you into a pom-pom-waving, screaming football fanatic in no time. Go team!

The Field

Football fields are big. This is not news (why do you think football players’ leg muscles are so huge?). What may actually be news to non-sports-savvy collegiettes is that football fields are different sizes depending on whether it’s a college, NFL or high school field. A college football field is 120 yards long and 53 1/3 feet wide. The two shorter ends of the field where the goalposts are located are called the end zones, which are 10 yards deep, while the longer edges of the field, where the players sit while they’re not playing, are called the sidelines. There are lines drawn every five yards across the field leading up to the 50-yard line in the middle, with the lines at each end zone starting at 0 and going up toward the middle.

The Clock

Football is played in four 15-minute quarters. But wait — how the heck do games last for so long, then? Well, the clock stops between each play for the teams to reset their positions, and there is a 20-minute halftime between the second and third quarters, so games get stretched out a little longer than an hour (try three or more). Each team also is allowed to have three 30-second timeouts per half so that the coach can talk to his players or challenge a call made by a referee, although the teams are not required to use all of their timeouts in a game. The clock counts down, so at the start of each quarter the clock will read: 15:00.

The Players

Each team is allowed to have 11 players on the field at a time, although most college teams have many more players on the actual roster — it’s not uncommon for a team to have more than 100! One reason college teams have so many players is because they have three different groups of players (and a lot of backups) that go on the field at different times: offensive players, defensive players and special teams. The offense is on the field when their team has the ball. They’re the guys that try to run the ball down the field and score points. The defense, which is on the field when the opposing team has the ball, tries to stop the opposing team’s offense from scoring points. Special teams are players who are put out for specific tasks such as kicking field goals or punting the ball to the other side of the field if the offense is stopped (they also have the coolest name, probably to make up for the fact that they don’t get to be on the field as often).

There are a ton of different football player positions, but the most important one to remember is the quarterback. A play starts with the offense and the defense setting up in lines facing each other. One of the offensive players hands the ball backwards between his legs to the quarterback (this move is called the snap), who then decides whether he is going to hand the ball to someone else, throw the ball to someone else or run with it himself. This is why the quarterback is so important: he (or she!) is the leader of the group on the field who takes direction from the coach and tells the other players what to do. (Also, is it just us or is the quarterback always the hottest guy on the team? Confidence is sexy.)

Helpful hint: There is an invisible line (use your imagination here) between the offense and defense called the line of scrimmage that no player is allowed to cross before the snap happens.

The Goal

The goal of football is to score points (obviously?), either by making a touchdown or kicking a field goal. A touchdown, which is worth six points, happens when one team’s offense takes the ball all the way into the other team’s end zone, either by running the ball or passing it, without getting stopped by a defensive player on the other team.

Once a team scores a touchdown, they have two options. They can try for a field goal, where they kick the ball between the two goal posts and get one extra point, or they can try for a two-point conversion, where the team sets up at the two-yard line and attempts to score another touchdown for an extra two points in addition to the six points they got from the first touchdown. Teams typically choose the field goal because it’s easier, unless they’re running out of time and really need two extra points instead of just one.

A team can also kick a field goal from any point on the field without scoring a touchdown for three points. Teams usually go this route if they are on their fourth down and don’t think they will be able to make a first down.

Downs

We didn’t confuse you too badly with that last sentence, did we? The “down” lingo is typically where collegiettes who weren’t religiously raised on football Saturdays get confused, but it’s actually a simple concept. A down is basically a play. Each offensive line has four chances to move the ball ten yards down the field, whether by passing or running the ball (carrying it with them), without being stopped by the other team (tackling the player with the ball). When one team gets the ball down the field at least ten yards from where they started (the line of scrimmage) without being stopped by the other team’s defense, it’s called a first down. If the offense gets a first down, they keep trying to get the ball down the field until they either score a goal or are stopped by the other team before they get another first down (make it 10 more yards).

If the player with the ball is tackled by a defensive player, they start from where they were tackled and try to get the ball the rest of the ten yards. After four unsuccessful tries, the ball goes to the other team. The other team can also catch the ball in the middle of a pass, called an interception, in which case the ball would immediately switch hands to the other team. Easy enough, right?

So when you hear the cheerleaders shouting: “first and 10, do it again,” they mean that the team has made it down the field 10 yards and has another 10 yards to go before they get another first down. Same goes for second and five (second try and they have five yards to go before a first down), third and two (third try, two yards to go), and so on. Still following? Good.

Common Fouls

Fouls are typically what causes those seemingly nice college guys to turn into snarling, furious animals bellowing at the referees. Despite what the enormous muscled guys literally slamming each other into the ground may lead you to believe, there are actually some things you’re not allowed to do in college football for fear of injuring a player or giving your team an unfair advantage. The referees (the people wearing black-and-white striped shirts) signify that a foul has occurred by throwing a yellow flag on the field where the foul occurred. If the announcer says that “there is a flag on the play,” he means that a referee has called a foul. Here’s a quick list of some common fouls that could happen during a game so you can impress that guy next to you by screaming at the ref before he can.

The foul: Encroachment

What it is: Remember how you can’t cross the line of scrimmage before the snap? If a defensive player does it and touches an offensive player, it’s a penalty.

What happens: The offense gets to move forward five yards; therefore, they will have five less yards to cover to get a first down.

The foul: False start

What it is: An offensive player makes a movement before the snap.

What happens: The offense has to move backwards five yards.

The foul: Holding

What it is: An offensive player holds a defensive player so that the defensive player can’t tackle the player with the ball.

What happens: 10-yard penalty.

The foul: Offside

What it is: A player (or any part of him, really) is beyond the line of scrimmage before the play starts.

What happens: 5-yard penalty.

The foul: Pass interference

What it is: Here’s where it gets confusing. Yes, defensive players are supposed to prevent offensive players from getting the ball, but they can’t make contact with the receiver (the player who a pass is intended for) before the ball gets to him. That’s called pass interference, and it’s a foul. The defensive player can, however, touch the receiver after he touches the ball. The defensive player can also intercept the ball without touching the receiver.

What happens: 15-yard penalty and an automatic first down for the offense.

The foul: Personal foul

What it is: Any action that appears to be done in order to intentionally harm another player (you can’t just punch each other, guys).

What happens: 15-yard penalty. If the foul is particularly nasty, a player can be ejected from the game.

 

Congratulations on officially becoming a collegiette football expert (or at least more knowledgeable about football, anyway)! Now go paint up or don a jersey in your school’s colors, jump up and down in the stands and school your guy friends on the rules of America’s favorite college sport (“It’s ‘offside,’ not ‘offsides,’ Brad.”). Who says girls don’t get sports?


What It’s Like to Be in a Sorority, As Told By Disney Characters

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It’s the start of rush!!

Everything is going great, until you get cut by your top choice.

But you push on…

And no worries, in the end you got a bid!

Too bad the girl next to you is crying over hers. Oh well.

You find the best big sister in the world.

And you get to go to mixers with fraternities

And get to show off your sick dance moves in front of your sisters

But then you find out your so-called sister likes the same guy as you

And it goes a little sour that night at the party…

And you wake up feeling like an idiot.

To make matters worse, you get called in by standards about your behavior the night before.

But, it’s fine because next year you get to live in the sorority house – good thing you found a roommate!

But life in the sorority house quickly gets old. You just want some peace and quiet.

By the end of the first semester you’re like

Now it’s your turn to be on the other side of rush and at first you’re fascinated

Which wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t encounter so many rude PNMs

And so many people incapable of making small talk.

Big Little Week was awesome….until you were the big.

But you’re lucky to have a big and little who are always there for you.

And you’re lucky to be able to go to formals and mixers and dance however you want (because your sisters love you anyway).

And finally you realize you actually love being in a sorority.

How to Handle Seeing Your Former Hook-up This Fall

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So maybe you spent your summer Facebook stalking your fling from last semester, wondering what he or she’s been up to lately (don’t lie, we’ve all done it at some point)! After a summer apart, the one who got away may be weighing heavily on your mind, and the fact that the school year is fast approaching means you get to see him or her in just a matter of days.

The question is, will you two run through the crowded dining hall into each other’s waiting embrace, or will you be stuck with awkward eye contact and blatant avoidance when you pass each other on your way to class?

Things may have fizzled out before you trekked back home for the summer, but that doesn’t mean you can’t heat things back up in time for fall! Here are the dos and don’ts of facing your former fling. 

Do make sure he or she is still single

If you’re trying to pursue a romantic relationship with your former flame, you need to get the lowdown on his or her current relationship status. After all, it’s common girl code that boys with girlfriends are off-limits. You don’t want to be the Regina George to his Aaron Samuels if there’s clearly a Cady Heron in the picture. It’s just, like, the rules of feminism.

Talk to some mutual friends who may know something you don’t. Even if he doesn’t have a serious girlfriend whom he posts a woman crush Wednesday of every week, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s up for grabs. He could be in a serious flirtationship that you had no idea about. It’s best to get all your facts together before pursuing anything further!

Don’t be awkward

Let’s face it, running into someone you have history with can just be plain awkward. If the first conversation you have with your former fling upon arriving to school is full of awkward, uncomfortable small talk, then that’s going to set the tone for the rest of your relationship. Whether you run into him or her on your way to class, at a party, in the library or in the dining hall, keep your cool and just have a normal conversation!

“It’s pretty lame, but sometimes I’ll think of a few questions I can ask someone ahead of time if I know I’m going to run into them and it might be awkward,” says Hailey*, a junior at Gonzaga University. “If it’s a guy I like or someone I’ve had history with, I know I’ll clam up if I run into them, so having a few conversation topics in the back of my mind always helps things go a little more smoothly.”

Be prepared – nothing is more nerve-wracking than being caught off guard and having to participate in an awkward, spontaneous conversation. Keep a few good questions in the back of your mind that you can whip out at a moment’s notice. The clichéd “what did you do this summer?” is guaranteed to get the conversation going.

Do take it slow

Whether you’re heating things up again or easing into friendship, it’s important to take your relationship slowly. Jumping right back into any kind of relationship may just make it doomed from the get-go. Start with something simple, like meeting up for coffee so you can clear the air and see exactly where you two stand. Get a feeling for where your relationship is at so you can see where to go from there. If anything, it’s a great way to catch up after a long summer and see if there’s still a little bit of chemistry there!

Don’t face him or her for the first time when you’re drunk

The first few weekends of school are bound to be jam-packed with parties and bar runs, which means there’s a good chance you may run into that former fling after throwing back a few rum and cokes. As much as you may want to run up to him or her and pour your drunk little heart out, this is probably not the best time to reconnect with him or her after a long summer. You don’t want to risk saying something embarrassing, like accidentally telling him JUST how much you Facebook stalked him while you were at home…

If, however, you do run into him or her after a couple of drinks, you’ll have to have a game plan that even your drunk self can stick to. Enlist your friends to keep an eye on you who will be ready to swoop in if they catch you conversing with someone you probably shouldn’t be talking to.

“I’m a total blabbermouth when I drink, and I know I’m bound to say something embarrassing,” says Natalie*, a junior at Gonzaga University. “If there’s a guy I know I shouldn’t be talking to while I’m drunk, I let my friends know before we go out. That way, if they see me talking to him, they can intervene before I say something I’ll regret!”

Do remember why your fling fizzled out in the first place

There was a reason your fling cooled off in the first place, and you should definitely keep that in mind when facing your former flame. Was timing the issue, or was it something a little deeper than that? If summer approaching was the only reason you and your fling cut ties, then there’s probably a good chance that you could start things up again.  If he or she had annoying habits that you just couldn’t get past or you didn’t feel that strong of a connection, then it’s probably best to let go on and move onto greener pastures.

“My freshman year of college, I started casually seeing this guy a few months before we left for summer,” says Amanda*, a junior at the University of San Diego. “Right before we left I was starting to get annoyed with him, so I was glad that we’d have the summer to spend some time apart.”

However, Amanda says she started to miss him as the summer went on. “We picked things back up where they left off when we got back, but after a few weeks, I started to get a little annoyed again and felt trapped,” she says. “I wish I had remembered how annoyed I was at the end of the school year and just moved on.”

Take a step back and really think before pursuing this person again. If you really think you’re destined to be together, then go for it! If you still can’t get over the fact that he occasionally chews with his mouth open, then it’s time to ditch him and find someone else.

Don’t expect him or her to want the same thing as you

Whether you’re hoping to start up your fling again, take it to the next level, or even just be friends, you never know how your former hook-up feels about the situation. After all, the only way to truly know what someone wants is to talk to him or her, and you shouldn’t be angry or disappointed if your former fling isn’t feeling the same way as you! If he or she really isn’t feeling it, then that’s your cue to totally back off. You don’t want to be that girl pining after someone who wants nothing to do with her, of course! It’s best to figure out what you both want and move on from there – whatever that may entail.

 

Facing your former fling can be downright awkward and nerve-wracking, but it’s necessary – especially if you’re having some regrets about ending things in the first place. Approaching him or her in the right place at the right time is the number one step toward deciding if your former fling should have really been flung.

*Names have been changed.

13 Reasons You Should Be Watching 'Outlander'

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So, there's this new show. It's called Outlander, and it's based off of the crazy-popular book series by the same name written by Diana Gabaldon. And it's amazing. Let us convince you:

The story is about an English nurse in post-WWII Britain named Claire Randall. Claire and her husband, Frank, are reconnecting in the Scottish Highlands after spending the war apart when Claire is suddenly transported back in time to 1743 Scotland. It is here that Claire meets Jamie Fraser, a young, gallant Scottish clansman with chivalry and muscles to spare and an accent and pectoral region that will make you weak in the knees.

But fear not! Our admirable protagonist, Claire, is smart and strong and definitely not keen on giving up her hard-fought 20th-century rights just because she finds herself in an era of misogyny and political turmoil. Before we get carried away (too late), we present you with 13 reasons why you should be watching Outlander

1. First of all, this is the romantic lead, Jamie Fraser: 

2. His name is Sam Heughan, and he is a 6'3" born-and-bred Scotsman.

3. And this? This is Irish actress Caitriona Balfe as Claire Randall (née Beauchamp), the story's kickass female protagonist:

4. And, as if you weren't already insanely jealous of Caitriona, she's also a former Victoria's Secret model. Yeah.

5. These two hotties have some serious offscreen chemistry, and we're pretty sure they're both single...

 
6. There are plenty of castles and historical anecdotes for the history buffs among us.
 

7. And, if you're a stickler for historical accuracy (or even if you're not, let's be honest), you will definitely appreciate this attention to detail when it comes to the actors wearing kilts:

8. But if you're more into Braveheart-esque action scenes and sword fights, Outlander has that, too.

9. The song that plays during the opening titles will give you chills.

10. If it's good enough to be referenced on Orange Is the New Black, it's good enough for us.

11. Almost the entire show was filmed on location in Scotland, and the scenery is breathtaking.

12. There are plenty of dreamy Scottish accents and romantic Gaelic phrases to go around, usually delivered with a smoldering gaze.

13. Finally, if you only watch the show for one reason, make that one reason Jamie Fraser. *clutches pearls*
 

Now that you're completely hooked, check out the very first episode of Outlander on Starz's YouTube channel:

You're welcome.

6 Steps to Get Ahead on Job & Internship Applications Right Now

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After snagging that internship this summer, you learned how to make the best of it,how to be a better intern and how to connect with your fellow interns. Now that you have the skills, you’re ready for your next internship... right?

It may sound crazy, but as one internship and job season ends, another begins. We spend the spring applying for summer opportunities and the summer applying for fall positions. Now that fall is around the corner, it’s time to see what’s on the horizon for spring and summer again! Come October or so, you may wish you’d done a few things for your internship or job application earlier. To save you from the feeling that you’re already behind, we’ve got some tips so you can begin the semester ahead of the game. Check out these six steps for getting your internship and job application process off to a strong start.

1. Map it out

Before you start doing any internship or job research, have a plan for what you’re going to do with the listings you collect. Having an idea of how you’re going to organize your findings will be so helpful as you continue to find opportunities! These internship websites are great places for finding internship options. Browse the sites every couple of days to keep up with emerging positions and bookmark them as you go. Keep one Word document, bookmarked folder or even secret Pinterest board as a depository for all of your possible internships and add any opportunity that looks interesting. Later, you can go back and read the descriptions to narrow down which ones are actually a good fit for you.

Once you have a solid list of contenders, you may start to feel overwhelmed. With all the different deadlines, requirements and various contacts to keep track of, it’s hard to stay afloat. Stop the madness before it starts and get organized. You’ll be so glad you did!

“Last semester, I applied for 26 different internships (crazy, I know!),” says Hannah Orenstein, a recent grad of NYU. “In order to keep them all straight, I made a spreadsheet so I could track when I sent each application, if they followed up with me, whether or not I was offered an interview and more.”

Having a list or spreadsheet like Hannah did will keep you on track and help you manage deadlines efficiently. “Once you apply to more than a handful of internships, it's impossible to keep all the important details in your head, so the spreadsheet really helped me,” Hannah says.

Whatever method you use to keep track of your internship or job opportunities, choose wisely. If your roommate is saving all of her internship deadlines in iCal, but you’re more of a paper and pen kind of girl, go with what works for you. The newest to-do list app or cute day planner won’t do you any good if you don’t normally use it, so stick with what you know!

2. Polish your online presence

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: to get an internship or job, you have to be presentable online, period. You have control over what people see from your personal accounts, so make sure they represent you accurately and in a positive way. From your social media accounts to your online portfolio, employers are always searching to see how you’re presenting yourself!

Kim Reitter, the director of Career Services at Saint Louis University, cautions collegiettes about what they make public on their social media profiles. “Never post anything that you wouldn't want a potential employer to see,” she says. “I always recommend editing as if your grandma is looking at your site. If you wouldn't want grandma to see it, delete it, or, better yet, never post it!” Eliminate any unflattering content from your social media profiles and update your portfolio regularly so that it continues to show up in search results online.

Another thing to consider is what comes up on the Internet about you that you didn’t post yourself. While the things you post are yours, the things your friends post don’t require your permission or your knowledge.

“It’s important to either periodically search yourself or set up a Google alert to monitor the use of your name online,” says Katherine Battee-Freeman, the assistant director for recruitment for the Office of Career Services at University of Illinois at Chicago. “Be mindful of what others put online as well because if they are associated with you, you may come up in a search unexpectedly. If your friend tags you because he or she wants you to see a picture of his or her latest party, then someone could Google your name and a picture of a drunken group of people shows up. That’s not good for your professional image.”

So keep tabs on what shows up in these scenarios and ask friends to remove potentially damaging material. To minimize your friend’s ability to tag you in compromising situations, you can update your privacy settings on Facebook so that you have to approve every photo tag that goes up. Reitter even recommends de-friending those people who you know have a tendency to post content that could cause a stir so that you can keep your associations online clean.

After tackling the big pieces of your public persona, zero in on the small stuff. To keep your information separated from your professional and casual life, Battee-Freeman says that “it’s good practice to use one email and set of social media accounts for your professional information and a different set for your personal information.”

A good rule of thumb for a professional email is to make it as simple as possible and align it in some way with your name. Whether that’s a straightforward “firstname.lastname@example.com” or something similar, set it up before you send in internship or job applications and check it regularly.

3. Change your voicemail

To really go the extra mile, it wouldn’t hurt to clean up your voicemail message, too — you probably haven’t changed it since you first got your phone! If recording a new voicemail makes you uncomfortable, write a script first. You may feel silly, but knowing what you’re going to say will help you keep an even pace and a consistent tone. This will convey confidence to a prospective employer. For example:

“Hi, you’ve reached the cell phone of Rachel Wendte. I’m currently unavailable, but please leave your name, number, and a short message, and I’ll return your call soon!”

The voicemail clearly states the name of the person who people are calling, so they won’t think they’ve dialed the wrong number. Plus, giving specific instructions to leave a message will encourage those looking to get in touch with you to say something and not just hang up.

4. Visit your school’s career center

You know the office that’s advertised in all of your school’s flyers? Chances are a professor, academic adviser or visiting alum has mentioned career services once or twice, and they’re not talking about it for kicks. There are tons of programs that you can take advantage of in your school’s career center that will help you navigate the internship and job searching processes. “Career services professionals love when people come in and make sure of all the services they have to offer,” says Battee-Freeman. “Don’t be afraid to start early!” Here are a few to consider:

Resume review

If you do nothing else, make an appointment to go over your resume with a career counselor. Erin Smith, who recently graduated from Towson University, says that this is one of those under-utilized services that can really make a difference. “My school's career center gave me tons of advice on how to make my resume stand out in a crowd, which helped me land an internship!” she says.

“Basic services that let you better market yourself and/or simply confirm that what you are doing is on the right path can be very helpful at any point,” says Battee-Freeman. “These include resume and cover letter development and critiques.”

When you visit, bring along a few copies of your resume and questions for your reviewer. Questions about proper wording, ideal resume length and creative resumes are all good starting points.

Seminars

Sometimes career services will host professional seminars for students to prepare them for interviews and networking. Topics could include proper interview attire, etiquette dinners and how to ask for a raise. Take advantage of these great opportunities! Look over the events calendar in your career services center to see if any of these kinds of events are offered and grab some friends to go with you. It’s an easy way to learn new things and get answers to questions you’re unsure of.

Mock interviews

Taylor Emhart, a grad of the University of Maine, says her favorite resource at UMaine’s career center is the mock interviews. “Apart from reviewing your cover letter and resume, the career center tailors interview questions to the type of questions that would be asked. An interview for NASA would be a lot different than the local grocery store,” she says. “They videotape your whole interview, then watch it back with you. It's a great way to see how your body language is portrayed and to point out little mannerisms that you didn't even know you did.”

Battee-Freeman and Reitter say that most career services should have some sort of mock interview option available, but if your career center doesn’t offer mock interviews, you can achieve a similar effect by having a professor or friend interview you instead. Using the job description as a guide, have them ask questions related to the job. If they’re familiar with your industry, so much the better! They’ll be able to ask you more focused questions that will give you the chance to expand on your knowledge and experience.

5. Secure your recommendations and references

Depending on your internship, you may need recommendations or references. A recommendation is a physical letter and/or email from a professor or previous employer, while a reference is giving a potential employer permission to personally contact a previous employer or professor. To make sure you have a variety of recommendations that showcase you well, you’ll need to think critically about who ask, and ask them early! From past employers to professors, be conscious of their commitments and approach them in plenty of time.

“Request recommendations as soon as you know that you’ll need them and give a specific deadline by which you will need to receive them,” Battee-Freeman says. “I recommend asking to receive them two days before you need to submit them, if that allows the person at least a week to write the letter. If the time between when you ask and when you request to have them is longer than a month, remind the person one or two times before the deadline.”

Battee-Freeman also says it’s important to give the people writing your recommendations any extra information they’ll need to write the best letter. “Items such as your resume, personal statement, instructions from whatever you are applying to and examples of your volunteer and/or community services may be useful,” she advises. “If you want the person to focus on specific skills or experience you have, make sure to ask them to do so.”

References are a bit different because you’re asking the person to be willing to promote you well if a potential employer asks about you, so he or she needs to be prepared for a call at any time. To secure a reference from a professional contact, stay away from your computer! “Either call or ask in person if he or she would be willing to be a reference and for what purpose; e.g., graduate school, job search,” Reitter says.

When making your reference sheet for applications, Reitter says it’s important to verify your references’ contact information. “Make sure to ask your references what information they want you to put down,” she says. “For example, would they like to have potential employers contact them through [a] business phone or [a] personal cell phone number?” Basic information to include in a reference sheet would be the reference’s name, title, preferred contact information and their relation to you, such as a teacher or former supervisor.

6. Network, network, network!

How many times have you heard the phrase, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”? When it comes to jobs and internships, that statement could not be more true. The sooner you start cultivating a professional network, the better off you’ll be in the long run.

“Whether or not you are still in college, many universities have alumni or career center events that both students and alumni can attend,” says Reitter. “Many larger cities also have networking groups. Remember that every contact can be a potentially good networking contact, whether you meet that person at a formal event or at the grocery store!”

Phyu-Sin Than, a senior at Mount Holyoke College, has experienced chance encounters with great contacts more than once, so she’s always prepared. “I would suggest that college women make business cards,” she says. “I know that sounds weird, but they're extremely helpful when meeting someone on the go. I've met people on the metro or at a café with brief morning conversations that I wanted to keep in touch with.”

“Networking in an ongoing activity that occurs online and offline,” says Battee-Freeman. While both she and Reitter recommend LinkedIn for a professional presence, Battee-Freeman is quick to mention that networking occurs both online and in person, and that there are appropriate protocols for each.

“Online, connect to relevant groups and your alumni networks on LinkedIn, and if your university has an alumni database/network elsewhere, find out how to get involved in it,” Battee-Freeman says. “Offline, start talking to people about what they do and what you want to do including professors and community members. Make a note in your phone or notebook of those who are interesting and may be beneficial to learn more about or help you make the right connection.”

Finally, remember that networking is about the people you meet as well as your own professional development. “Be willing to be a resource for others as well,” says Battee-Freeman. The more people you can build a rapport with, the wider your career net will be. It can only help, and you never know where one of those people will end up one day!

 

Using this checklist, we know you’ll start the academic year confident and ready to wow in all of your internship and job applications. With a little organization, some rock-solid application materials, and a strong network, there’s no stopping you from another fabulous internship experience. Good luck!

Do you have any tips for job and internship applications? Tell us in the comments below!

4 Things You Didn’t Know About Sorority Rush

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Rushing a sorority may well be one of the most bizarre things you ever do in your life. It’s unlikely that you’ll ever spend another week running from mansion to mansion being sung to, smiled at and chatted to by groups of girls who are all mysteriously wearing the exact same outfit. Feeling a bit nervous is completely normal, but it’s no reason not to rush. Even though you might be apprehensive now, when you find the right house, you’ll be happy you took a chance.

One common worry of potential rushees is that they don’t know enough about the rush process, so we put together some info that we wish we’d known before setting off down Greek Row. With this insider advice, you’ll feel like a recruitment veteran before rush even begins! Here are the four things they won’t tell you on your school’s recruitment website.

1. Rush will be your entire life (for a week, that is)

Warning: Once the week starts, you are going to eat, breathe and speak nothing but rush. Most rush events are all-day affairs, and even when the day is over, you’ll likely be consumed with thinking about which houses you liked best and planning your outfit for the next round. On the first day you’ll end up going to every single house on campus—which, at many schools, is an extensive list. Though subsequent rounds require you to go to fewer houses, each “party” (i.e., the time spent in each house talking to its members) lasts longer as recruitment week progresses.

Rush is more or less a nonstop talk-a-thon. At every house, you’ll chat with multiple girls, and for the first few days, you’ll likely have the same conversations (answering questions like, “Where are you from?” and, “What’s your major?”) over and over again.

“I didn't know how tiring simply talking to people would be,” says Hannah, a sorority sister and senior at Indiana University Bloomington. “I basically passed out ASAP afterwards when I went through rush.”

Because rush is such a long and tiring process, it’s important not to try to pack much else into your week. If you’re serious about finding the right house, it’s essential to be well rested and give rush your full attention. If you feel like you’re missing out on all the exciting things happening at the beginning of the semester, just remember that recruitment only lasts a few days, and you’ll be free to do whatever you want before you know it. So get those eight hours of sleep in—you’ll be happy you did.

If you still feel a bit sleepy, you can always use makeup to look more awake!

2. If you don’t keep yourself well fueled, you’ll regret it

Eat! It seems so simple, but it can be easy to overlook. Rush moves at a nonstop pace, so you likely won’t have time to snack in between rounds. Make sure to have a good breakfast and lunch, or you’ll be regretting it. Remember, it’s not just important to eat enough—it’s important to eat well. Sticking to healthy foods will help keep you energized and feeling good.

The same goes for staying hydrated. Bring a water bottle with you and leave it outside the house when you go inside. This will save your voice, too!

3. When in doubt, look nicer than you’re told to

When Oscar Wilde famously stated, “You can never be overdressed or overeducated,” he was probably talking about sorority recruitment. Pay attention to the suggested outfits for each round, and as a general rule, dress as well as you can within the parameters of a given day’s dress code. For example, if the suggested outfit for the first day is “casual,” dress as you might for the first day of school: better than usual, but not over the top.

Brittany, a Zeta Tau Alpha sister in California, says presenting yourself well is the fastest way to make a good first impression. “There are hundreds of girls—you want to stand out in a positive way,” she says. Not to mention when you look good, you feel good. Putting your best foot forward will give you a total confidence boost. Let’s be honest, you can never go wrong being the best-dressed one in the room!

Bonus tip: Bring comfortable shoes in your bag to wear when you walk between houses. Your feet will thank you!

4. Active members are just as nervous as you are

This might bring back childhood memories of adults telling you that the large and terrifying bug you encountered “is just as scared of you as you are of it.” You didn’t believe it then, and you probably don’t believe it now, but we promise it’s the truth! Every active member you talk to wants you to like her and her sorority. Remember that the selection process is mutual. Your opinion of the women you’ve met at a house is used (along with their opinions of you) to determine if you return to that house for the next round.

The thought of having to impress every potential new member who walks through the door is a scary one. “The idea of having an awkward conversation is the most worrying,” says Iris, a junior at UCLA. “The [active] girls are actually as nervous as [the potential new members], and at least as tired – if not more.” Keeping this in mind is a great way to quell your fears about rush.

Another good way to keep your own nerves at bay is to keep in mind the reason you’re rushing in the first place. Ideally, you want to join a sorority because you’re interested in finding a group of women who share your values and who will become your best friends. Thus, treat each girl you meet as a potential new sister. “Make a friend,” Brittany says. “You are first and foremost joining a group of women, not a national organization.”

If you still feel intimidated, just remember that every current sorority member was in your shoes once. Of course, they may act like pros now, but as little as a year ago, they were in your position and feeling just as nervous you are!

 

With this insider knowledge under your belt, you’ll be a rush pro. Good luck!

Guys' Take On: Running Into Last Year's Hook-Ups This Fall

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You’re walking along the sidewalk heading to your next class. It’s a beautiful day and you have plenty of important things to think about: your first major exam, what you’ll wear to that party tonight, etc. You probably make quick eye contact with the people that pass you, maybe smiling at an acquaintance or two. And then it happens. You make slight eye contact, pause for a second, have brain recognition and realize that you’re looking at a guy you hooked up with one night last semester. Awkward! Do you stop and make conversation? Do you quickly look away and pretend you never noticed him? Does seeing him bring back a rush of old memories from your brief encounter?

hooking up relationship couple make out

It doesn’t matter whether you hail from the biggest of campuses or smallest of private schools – it's impossible to avoid anyone forever. It’s likely that neither of you were expecting to see each other. Since there isn’t some all-encompassing rulebook for this situation, he will feel equally uncertain. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could have the advantage and be able to listen in on his thoughts when you both make eye contact?

Her Campus talked to 18 guys about how they’d feel if they ran into a former flame back on campus. We asked them about their reaction, your reaction and what they would want to happen after your chance encounter. So next time you find yourself in this potentially uncomfortable situation, you’ll have an idea of what’s running through his head (and how to come away from it with no harm done)!

In his shoes

Let’s start with what he’s thinking when this all goes down. What’s his initial reaction? What factors affect how he’d react upon seeing you? How can you turn the situation in your favor… or at least make it bearable?

Almost 63 percent of guys said that they would view running into a former hook-up as an awkward situation. Brian from Washington State University has experienced this firsthand: “Last semester I ran into a girl that I hadn’t seen since the morning [after we hooked up],” he says, “Obviously it’s going to be awkward if the last time you saw each other, she was quickly throwing on clothes and trying to get back to her place. I honestly just sort of did a head nod and kept walking. I probably should’ve stopped and talked to her or something, but I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable either.”

hooking up ecard

Several guys, such as Danny from Mississippi State University, have tried to make conversation only to end up making the situation worse: “When I realized that [a former hook-up] had a class with me, I decided that it would be best to talk to her before class started,” Danny explains. “Within a few seconds of conversation, I realized that she was extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed about what had happened. Then, class started and we had to sit next to each other with all of this awkwardness between us until it was over.”

We agree that these situations sound less than pleasant, but seeing a former hook-up doesn’t always have to be awkward. Almost 25 percent of guys said they would be indifferent if they encountered a hook-up and another 12 percent of guys felt seeing a former hook-up would be nice. Who knows, maybe seeing you on campus will be just the thing that makes his day!

The factors

So what is it about running into a former hook-up that has some guys (and some of you collegiettes, too!) on edge? After being allowed to select each option that would be a factor to them, almost 88 percent of guys said not speaking to each other since you had hooked up would make the situation most uncomfortable. “If I were to run into a girl I’d hooked up with but not spoken to since, I would feel pretty bad and that would make things awkward,” says Michael from Southern Illinois University.

Half of the guys surveyed said that it would be most awkward if they had ended things on bad terms with a former hook-up. Blake from the University of Missouri just wants to move on from the drama:“I hooked up with a girl that clearly wanted more when I clearly didn’t,” Blake says. “I was pretty straightforward about it, but she still was really angry and upset. She basically blew up at me and I haven’t talked to her since. If I ever run into her on campus, it will be awful.”

Sometimes, though, a run-in with a hook-up can be the exact opposite of Blake’s situation. About 37 percent of guys said it would be awkward if they had wanted the hook-up to turn into something more. In that case, a collegiette could be running into a guy that she had to let down. “I ran into a girl once that I wanted to date when she just wanted to hook up,” says Kyle from Vanderbilt University. “Seeing her was obviously tough because I’d been rejected. I just decided to be polite but get out of the situation as quickly as possible.”

The key: making a point to amicably end your contact with a hook-up will pay off in the long run. But if things went sour before you cut off communication, it’s always best to just be polite and avoid re-hashing any drama that may have gone down in the past so you can be on your way.

His reaction

When it comes to how he thinks he’d actually react in the moment, there was much less of a consensus. The guys we talked to were in a three-way tie for how they thought they’d act if they ran into a former hook-up:

  • He would stop and start a conversation… No biggie!
  • He’d give a quick form of acknowledgement (a wave or head nod) and then move on. OR… He’d find a happy medium and give a short ‘Hello!’ or ‘How are you?’ and then move on.
  • Ben from the University of Missouri prefers a happy medium: “I’d give her a ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ and that’s about it,” he says. “You don’t want to give someone the cold shoulder because that’s immature, but you don’t want to start a conversation either. There probably isn’t much to say and no one wants small talk to get awkward.” 

In your shoes

Now that you know how guys think they’d react to running into a former hook-up, let’s turn the tables. How would a former hook-up ideally like you to react if you ran into each other on campus? The answers were mixed, but we’ve ranked them in order of most preferred to least:

  1. You give him a quick ‘Hi!’ and move on (38 percent).
  2. You wave or smile at him and move on (36 percent).
  3. You’d stop and make pleasant conversation (13 percent).
  4. You’d stop and try to make conversation, but you’d be awkward about it (12 percent). 

Luckily, most guys want the same thing for you as they want for themselves – a quick acknowledgement so that you can both go back to your day.

You had him at ‘hello’… or not

This may surprise you, or it may not… Some guys secretly hope that after your encounter, he may turn into something more than just ‘a former hook-up’ of yours. When it comes to rekindling things, or hooking up again, 63 percent of guys said they’d consider it. Danny from Mississippi State University said that he’d be interested in starting things up again with a former flame: “If we had a good time [when we hooked up before] and it wasn’t awkward afterwards, I would definitely consider it,” he admits.

When the stakes got more serious – we asked whether guys would potentially want to be in a relationship with a former hook-up – fewer of them were interested. About 37 percent of guys would consider dating a girl they’d hooked up with before. Mike from Northeastern University says, “It would be the same as if I were getting into a relationship with any other girl. [I would consider] her personality, future plans and how we were around each other.”

Blake from the University of Missouri says, “It would obviously depend on whether I had a girlfriend at the time or not. If we had a good connection, we were both single, and we both had time to give it a try, I would [go for it].” The odds of him wanting something more are pretty good if your time together showed potential and you had fun together. However, around 38 percent of guys didn’t think they’d want to, and another 25 percent of guys said ‘Definitely not!’

So when it comes to having any sort of contact with a former hook-up, what do guys prefer? It’s kind of a toss-up – half of guys said that they keep in touch with a former hook-up but it varies in regards to how often they actually contact them. Most prefer brief communication (a text or saying hello when they see each other) every once in awhile. And if one of you is in a relationship when you run into each other? The consensus was that it’s best to just cut communication: “I wouldn’t want to be rude if I ran into a girl that I’d hooked up with,” says Kyle from Vanderbilt University, “but I’m in a relationship now, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize anything by starting up a conversation with her. I’d hope that my girlfriend would do the same in that situation. Just give a quick hello and keep walking.”

 

So there you have it, collegiettes! Next time you find a campus stroll interrupted by a guy that you had shared ‘intimate’ relations with, you will have a good idea of how he’s feeling.By keeping your cool and being concise, you can move right along to your next class (and the next Campus Cutie) without a backward glance!

Have you ever had a horrifically awkward run-in with a former hook-up? How about a run-in that rekindled a former flame? Tell us your stories in the comments!

It's Not All Greek To Me: Confessions of an Independent

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“So who is she?” I inquire.

“Well, she’s short, a little busty. Brunette. A Theta,” my friend tells me.

“And what about her friend?” “Skinny blonde. Tri Delt. Sweet girl.”

I keep feeding him names, and with each of his answers, I begin to notice a pattern: every girl comes labeled with a rather amateur hair analysis, followed promptly by a bunch of Greek letters. And when I ask my friend to describe girl after girl and, without fail, the first three attributes he touches on are her frame, her hair and her sorority affiliations, I’m suddenly curious as to how he or anyone else might describe me. So I ask.

“You … you’re a GDI,” he informs me.

“Translation, please?”

“A God Damn Independent.”

Interesting. I’m a tall, lanky GDI. And at the University of Pennsylvania, a school at which nearly a quarter of students—and many of my friends—are involved in fraternities, sororities and societies of all sorts, I have found that such social nomenclature is defining but not limiting. The acronyms are entertaining (SDT too often slips out as STD) but not all that annoying. Even at such a reputably gung-ho Greek university, the scene is present but, from my experiences, welcoming and enjoyable for Greeks and GDIs alike.

I didn’t rush last fall for a bunch of different reasons; first and foremost, I was totally oblivious to the process and pretty much only knew that it would be very cold and very full of girl-flirting, neither of which I’m particularly skilled at enduring. And as I welcomed my roommate and our friends into our dorm to thaw and soak their feet and pref their top picks post-“strawberries and champagne” rush events, I felt reassured that a sisterhood was not for me, but I also began thinking about how I would avoid becoming a network-lacking leper. I have since found my networks in other areas—in several volunteer groups, this very online magazine and in my friends, both Greek and not.

Perhaps the biggest misconception that I had about sororities and frats is that if you’re not in one, you therefore automatically hate all of them (and they hate you) either by principle or because they cut you during rush. My ecletic combo of roommates and best friends disproves this notion: I live with an AXO, a member of a non-Greek society that I describe as half-sorority-half-cult, and a Sigma Alpha Mu (yep, a boy. Progressive.).

And while I lack a lineage full of bigs and little-littles, I admittedly attend frat parties, Greek-sponsored speakers and, my ultimate soft spot, sorority bake sales. I see what Greek life offers my roomies (the social opportunities, the camaraderie, the collection of custom T-shirts), and I also enjoy what Greek life offers me (enjoyable events and some peace and quiet in the apartment when they are off at rush).

I recently realized that I’ve totally come to embrace Greek life without feeling like a network-lacking social leper. I no longer attempt to dodge those moments when someone asks me what house I’m in; rather, I smile and anticipate one of two reactions:

  1. The pity-padded “Oh-I’m-sorry-I-once-knew-a-girl-who-didn’t-rush" gaze.
  2. The “Oh-cool-so-like-why-not-that’s interesting-tell-me-more” nod.

Now, as I watch my roommates come home from rush and report back on their latest favorite or not-so-favorite (“She was kind of cute, but chubby, with hairy arms and a twitch. Gone.”), I feel just as sure as I did a year ago that I made the right decision. Alas, choruses of “bagels and formals are some of the normals” have grown on me, however. On a rare occasion, I will find myself wishing that I could join the Tri Delts for “Gossip Girl Ice Cream Sundaes on Monday” sessions. But as I ran around my apartment a few weeks ago helping my three roommates get ready for their respective rush events and formals and sent them on their way declaring, “Have fun! Be on the lookout for rush babies and don’t hurt the pledges!” I realized that’s plenty of Greek for me.

Minus the fact that GDI kind of sounds like some gross gastro-intestinal disorder, I like my letters.


8 Dorm Foods You’ll Be Glad You Packed

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When you’re not feeling the mystery meat at the dining hall or you’re up late studying and you want a snack to recharge, it can be hard to know what to stock your room with. With limited shelf and fridge space and no kitchen to cook food in, it can often feel like the dining hall is your only option. Filling your dorm room with sensible snacks is a great solution if you’re looking for healthier options, your schedule isn’t matched to the dining hall’s or you simply want to satisfy hunger in between meals.

HC is here with dorm foods for everyone from the calorie-conscious to the chocolate cravers. Here are the foods that every collegiette needs in her dorm room!

1. Popcorn

Movie nights with your roomies just wouldn’t be right without a few bags of popcorn. While the jumbo size with extra butter you get at the movie theater is delicious, in your dorm room you can opt for a healthier route. Try Orville Redenbacher’s SmartPop! microwavable popcorn, which is just 100 calories per six cups.  If you have a sweet tooth, go for the brand’s kettle corn flavor.  

2. Oatmeal

We’ve all grown up hearing that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but in a dorm with no kitchen, it can feel normal to skip it all together. Oatmeal is the perfect way to get in a quick and healthy breakfast before you head to your first class—and if you buy an instant pack like those from Quaker, making breakfast only takes about a minute in the microwave!

“I like to have oatmeal for breakfast because it’s so easy to make and I always feel full through the morning after I eat it,” says Maria, a sophomore at the University of Delaware. “Plus, it’s low calorie and full of fiber, so I never feel guilty about what I’m putting in my body.”

For more flavor, try adding fruit, nuts, honey, cinnamon or brown sugar.

3. Soup

When you have limited storage space and not much room in your mini-fridge for anything more than a few cheese sticks, it can be hard to stock up on sensible food. Canned, microwavable soup is great because you can keep it on your shelf until you’re ready to eat it, and most cans have between 1-2 servings, so it’s unlikely you’ll need to refrigerate a ton of leftovers afterwards.

Because soups can be high in sodium or calories, consider healthier alternatives. Progresso offers lighter versions of higher-calorie classics so that you can enjoy the flavors you love without worrying about the nutrition. You can go for classics such as chicken noodle or vegetable or mix it up with chicken corn chowder or chicken and dumpling.

Amy’s also offers low-cal canned soup options that are also light in sodium. They offer many flavors, such as favorites like chicken noodle, split pea and tomato.

If you’re not feeling well enough to muster up the energy to trek to the dining hall, these options are not only convenient, but healthy as well!

4. Protein bars

For a bite in your room or an on-the-go snack, protein bars are a healthy way to satisfy your hunger. They’re easy to store and won’t go bad quickly. Plus, you can satisfy your sweet tooth in a healthy way by getting flavors like chocolate peanut butter, cookies and cream and more!  Not sure which brands to buy? Look for bars that are high in fiber and protein so that you’ll feel fuller for longer, but make sure that you avoid ones with high sugar contents.

LUNA bars, like their Nutz Over Chocolate flavor, are relatively low in calories and are high in protein. Unlike some other protein bars, they are low in sugar, which means that you can enjoy the delicious taste without feeling like you’re cheating!

Pure Bars are made of organic products and are high in protein. You can feel good about eating these delicious bars at any time! Try the chocolate brownie flavor for a guiltless dessert.

5. Fruit

For collegiettes with a sweet tooth who want to avoid the high fat content of many candies and chocolates, fruit can be a great alternative.

However, if you don’t have a fridge, having fruit can be tough to keep for more than a few days. Try apples, oranges and grapefruits, since you don’t have to eat them as quickly.

“I always have a bag of apples on my desk,” says Jamie, a senior at Tulane University. “I’ll eat one while I study or grab one on the go in between classes.”

6. Candy

We all know your doctor probably isn’t suggesting you eat an enormous chocolate bar every night, but sometimes a satisfied sweet tooth can be the cure for one of those dreaded all-nighters. When you’re in need of a sweet treat, try a little bit of dark chocolate or chocolate-covered raisins.

“I always get sweet cravings, especially late at night when I’m studying,” says Hannah, a sophomore at the University of Delaware. “Instead of binge eating a ton of candy or chocolate, I keep a few Jolly Ranchers nearby so that I can satisfy my sweet tooth without loading up on the calories.”

The occasional treat can be a great pick-me-up. Plus, indulging in a sweet treat doesn’t have to mean eating the whole cake at the party. Instead of a full-size chocolate bar, try mini versions occasionally!

7. Veggies

Chips and dip can be a staple snack in college, but you can ditch the calories and fat in regular potato chips by replacing them with vegetables. Keeping mini veggies such as carrots and celery in your fridge can serve as a great, healthy way to still indulge in your favorite dip without the guilt of the saturated fat that often comes with chips.

Want to be even healthier? Instead of regular dips, try hummus. You’ll be left feeling fuller and you’ll add some nutritional value to this snack.

8. Frozen meals

No oven? No problem! If you’re in a hurry or not loving what the dining hall has to offer, a frozen meal is a great option to keep in your dorm.

“I always keep a few frozen meals in my mini-freezer for days when I need to study and don’t have time for the dining hall,” says Christina, a junior at the University of Maryland.

While not every frozen meal option is healthy, there are some options that are low in calories, fat and sodium.  

Weight Watchers Smart Ones has frozen meals that definitely don’t cut down on the flavor. Try their whole-grain Angel Hair Marinara with spinach and zucchini. At only 220 calories, this meal is low in fat and high in protein and fiber, meaning you’ll feel fuller for longer after you eat it.

For those who want to keep their food organic, Amy’s is a great option for frozen meals.  Try their Light & Lean Quinoa & Black Beans With Butternut Squash and Chard. At 240 calories, it has 10 grams of protein and 11 grams of fiber. For those with dietary restrictions, it’s also gluten free.

Keeping your dorm stocked with healthy food will keep you satisfied during your study sessions and hangouts. Try these quick options that are delicious and easy to prepare in your dorm! 

11 Corgis to Help You Through Your First Week of Classes

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It's that time of year again: good ole back-to-school time! After a long and relaxing summer, going back to school might not seem too exciting. You'll be back to the routine of waking up at a reasonable time, making yourself look presentable to go to class, submitting your assignments in a timely manner and other fun stuff like that.

Just like pretty much every person in the world, we love, love, love us some cute puppies. There's nothing that a funny video of a puppy rolling down a hill or a picture of a dog smushed between some couch cushions can't fix. Here are some adorable corgis along with some words of wisdom for you to help beat your back-to-school blues.

1. "Never, never, never give up." -Winston Churchill

2. "Dream big and dare to fail." -Norman Vaughan

3. "An obstacle is often a stepping stone." -Prescott

4. "Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt 

5. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius

6. "Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." -Joshua J. Marine

7. "Don’t wait. The time will never be just right." -Napoleon Hill

8. "Believe you can and you’re halfway there." -Theodore Roosevelt

9. "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." -Confucius

10. "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt

11. "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take." -Wayne Gretzky

While you might not be looking forward to heading back to campus, you should be! We always hear from our parents and other adults that "college is the best four years of your life," so try to make the best of it. When in doubt, look at pictures of cute dogs. 

5 Ways to Fight Senioritis & Land a Job After Graduation

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It sneaks up on you. More and more of your assignments become “optional” (at least in your mind, anyway), weeknights spent binge watching Disney movies become increasingly appealing and the library becomes a place you never dare to enter. Collegiettes, we’re talking about the infamous ailment known as senioritis.

We totally get it: It can be hard to buckle down and concentrate senior year when all you and your friends want to do is live each and every one of your final days of college to the fullest. But it's important to still be looking for jobs and doing what needs to be done so that you don't have to move back into your parents' house after graduation!

To avoid a last-minute scramble and an awkward silence when asked what your post-grad plans are, here are some tips for staying motivated during your senior year.

1. Get inspired

First things first (we’re the realest): A collegiette needs to be passionate about her career and life after college. In other words, she has to be inspired! For nights when your friends are begging you to go out but you have a huge lab report to finish, it can be helpful to have a little bit of visual inspiration to keep you on track.

Try turning a corkboard into a dream board with your favorite inspirational quotes and images, like a photograph of your career idol or a newspaper clipping highlighting a company you’d love to work for, and hang it above your desk for a daily reminder. Scour your favorite fashion magazines for photographs of fabulous women in kickass pencil skirts, or check out Pinterest for quotes from successful women (Hillary Clinton and Beyoncé are our faves). It’s much harder to blow off that econ assignment when Queen Bey is reminding you that “Power is not given to you. You have to take it.”

Another tip is to create an academic bucket list to ensure that you’re getting the most out of your senior year while still setting yourself up for success after college. Make sure to include all of the things you want to get done before you graduate, like making the dean’s list, getting coffee with your favorite professor or scoring a job in a certain industry. Print out your bucket list and hang it somewhere you know you’ll see every day (like the back of your door or on your mini-fridge) to serve as a reminder of all the things you want to accomplish.

If you’ve started slacking off on assignments toward the end of your college career, it can also be helpful to remind yourself why you fell in love with your field of study in the first place. “This is going to sound nerdy, but I became very aware of just how awesome my classes were and how amazing it was to spend my time just reading and talking about books and writing about books,” says Hannah, a recent college graduate who majored in English at Middlebury College.

2. Get organized

You’ve probably heard this a million times, but the best way to get things done is to get organized! If you don’t already have one, get a planner and keep track of everything you need to get done, including school assignments and career-related tasks, like polishing your resume or obtaining a letter of reference. If you struggle with staying on task, break your week into daily checklists to make your tasks more manageable while still getting them done.

Susan Walker, associate director of career services at Middlebury College, recommends setting aside time to focus on things like job applications or polishing your resume at least once a week. “If you’re a planner type of person, you could block out a couple of hours a week to work on this, and in the end, that makes it less stressful,” she says. “Doing all the prep allows you to be ready to take advantages of opportunities when they show up rather than scrambling at the last minute.”

Set aside a few hours on a Sunday, for example, to read through your resume with fresh eyes and try to spot grammatical errors, or to make sure that the contact information for your references is up-to-date. The idea of tackling your entire resume in one day is enough to make any collegiette procrastinate, but tackling it bit by bit will make the process much more manageable.

In terms of when you should start getting organized and planning out your career trajectory, “the summer and fall is a good time to be gathering information,” Walker says. Emily Miethner, founder of FindSpark, a company dedicated to setting up young professionals for success, agrees. “As soon as possible, you should always be researching companies and people you want to work for,” she says. “Especially during your senior year, you should definitely start browsing job boards and company career pages, and then looking up people who work in those places and trying to connect with them either through social media or offline.”

The summer before your senior year, make an Excel spreadsheet with potential companies you might be interested in working for after college, including your ideal position title, the company website and any contact information you can find, and update it during the year as job listings become available. The more organized you are early on, the less stressed you’ll be and the less likely you’ll be to put off the daunting task of establishing a post-grad plan!

3. Visit the career center

Setting up an appointment with an adviser in your campus career center is one of the best moves you can make as a career-minded collegiette. Not only can your career center help you decide what you want to do after graduation, but also it’s full of amazing resources you probably didn’t even know existed, like self-assessment tools, resume and cover letter workshops, practice interviews, career counseling and help with finding internships through alumni connections.

“I can’t emphasize enough to take advantage of those resources,” Walker says.

Miethner also emphasizes taking advantage of career center resources when you’re still an undergrad and says that these really helped her get ahead in college. “You kind of have [those resources] available when you graduate, but it’s obviously not as convenient,” she says. “Utilize that extra set of eyes to look over your resume!”

If you feel like you might be suffering from senioritis, a visit to the career center can help you get organized and understand the timelines associated with landing your dream job. Plus, if you schedule regular meetings with a career center adviser, you’ll be held accountable to stay on track with your job-hunting plan.

4. Get involved and stay involved

Miethner emphasizes that experience is definitely crucial when it comes to landing your dream job or grad school acceptance letter. “When you’re a senior, your focus should be on networking and work experiences that you know will be beneficial for your future work,” she says.

Work experience isn’t limited to jobs or internships; you can have valuable experiences your senior year without even stepping off campus! If you’re an aspiring writer, for example, senior year is the time to really amp up your contribution to the campus newspaper and maybe ease up on your rugby commitment. “If you’re the type of person who’s involved in half a dozen clubs, senior year is when you have to think about, ‘What is really going to help me in the future?’” Miethner says.

Kayla*, a recent graduate of the University of Florida, was able to combat her senioritis by focusing on the on-campus activities that made her happy and looked good on her resume. “I was lucky enough to be involved in organizations I’m very passionate about, so I focused all my energy on growing professionally within those groups,” she says. It looks like Kayla’s dedication paid off: She landed her dream job halfway through her senior year!

Extracurriculars can be a great way to stay motivated during your senior year, but it’s important not to let your grades slide! To get the most out of both, try thinking of your pre-med club, for example, as one of your academic classes, but one that ranks just below your normal course load. Carving out time to spend on your career-related extracurriculars once you’ve finished your other class work will help you balance important grades with valuable experience.

5. Try the tough-love approach

Looking for a strategy that will send your senioritis running for cover? “Know that there are always people working harder than you,” Miethner says. “It’s a sad truth, but you’ve got to keep up so that when you graduate you’re not left behind.”

We totally understand that between nostalgic goodbye parties and end-of-year festivities, it can be tough to remember that your senior year grades factor into your overall GPA. Whether you’re contemplating grad school or a job, your grades and GPA will play a huge role in where you go after college, and sometimes you just need to get down to business for the sake of your future.

Alison*, a senior at Middlebury College whose senioritis started her junior year, found that reminding herself of her future goals was the best way to stay on track. “I think the thought of graduating has made me work harder, and I know that I need good grades for law school,” she says.

Had a little bit of an adjustment crisis freshman year that left your GPA lacking? Not to worry, Walker says. “It’s the trajectory of your GPA that’s important,” she says. “If you’re working your way out of a 2.9 and you’ve gotten up to a 3.4, the upward trajectory is impressive.” It’s never too late to improve your GPA, and employers as well as admission officers will take notice if you take the time to focus on your grades!

College is a time to experience new things, make new friends and find what you’re truly passionate about, but it’s also a time to set yourself up for future success.

 

“Advice I would have is for seniors to find a balance and to not be in denial about the fact that after this year, they are going to be pushed out into the world,” Walker says. Make sure that you’re enjoying your undergraduate experience, collegiettes, but keep in mind that if you start early and make the most of the resources available to you, college won’t have to be the best four years of your life!

*Names have been changed.

6 Myths Debunked: The Truth About College

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Let’s face it, whether it’s because your high school years consisted of marathon-watching every season of Boy Meets World, Greek and 90210, browsing through Her Campus on the daily or listening to your Frat Star brother’s tales of blackout keggers, one-night stands and too many pastel polo shirts, you probably have some pre-conceived ideas of what college is going to be like.

Don’t believe everything you hear! Rumors about college run about as unchecked as Miley Cyrus’ social life. To separate fact from fiction, check out the truth about these six common college myths:

Myth #1: The Freshman 15 is inevitable

Reality: With all-you-can-eat dining hall food, weekend nights of drinking (usually accompanied by late-night snacking) and busy schedules that seem to leave no time for exercise, weight gain can be an easy trap to fall into.

But not everyone packs on the pounds. Many collegiettes even find that their scale number goes down freshman year!

“Maybe it's because I go to a city school and there's a lot of walking, but I actually ended up losing weight when I went to college,” says Kelsey Mulvey from Boston University.

“I didn’t gain anything because I didn’t live on campus! I actually lost a lot of weight because I would work out every day,” explains Hailey Craig from Columbia University.

So don’t freak out! The Freshman 15 is totally avoidable with the right mix of self-control and exercise. Check out Her Campus’s "5 Ways To Avoid The Freshman 15: How Real Girls Did It", “Pick It or Skip It: Dining Hall Edition” and “15 Ways to Get Gym Motivation (That Actually Work)” for more tips on keeping college weight off the healthy way.

Myth #2: You will drown under piles of homework

Reality: There are most likely going to be times when you feel like your academic workload is slowly crushing the life out of you, but hey, there were probably also times when you felt similarly in high school. College is usually not much more difficult than high school, just different, as is explained in HC’s 5 Ways Your College Classes Will Be Different From Your High School Classes.

No one is going to force you to do your work like your parents or teachers might have done in high school. You need to handle your newfound independence and learn to manage your time.

“You do get a lot of homework, not going to lie,” says Hailey. “But you just have to make a study schedule to help you out. This will help you TONS because if you get it done right away or when you’re not busy, you will have plenty of time to mingle and have fun!”

To stay on top of homework, try keeping an assignment notebook, tracking due dates on your phone or on a calendar or planning days to work on long-term assignments so they get done a little at a time. You should think about every week ahead of time to know when you’ll have free time to study.

A lot of the time, you won’t have very much homework on a day-to-day basis because most of your assignments will be long-term, not short-term. It’s important to make sure you still do a little bit of work every day even if you don’t always have something due the next day, or even that week, to avoid creating stressful situations.

So, yes, if you have a 20-page research paper that is assigned at the beginning of the semester and you wait until the night before it’s due to start writing, you’re going to have a bad time. On the other hand, if you find the right balance between work and play, you’ll be golden.

Myth #3: You won’t have a social life if you’re not in a sorority

Reality: The truth is that sororities aren’t for everyone. If your decision to rush is based solely on thinking it will get you an instant friend group, you might want to reconsider.

Although the social component can be a major factor in rushing, it shouldn’t be the only one you consider. If you’re still having trouble deciding check out HC’s Collegiettes Weigh In: To Rush or Not to Rush?

While many colleges have a large focus on Greek life, there’s always a social scene outside of it. “I'm not in a sorority and I had a fabulous social life in college,” says Erica Avesian, a recent grad of University of Michigan. “As long as you put yourself out there and make a point to meet people, you will be just fine. There are plenty of other social organizations to join.”

You’ll be able to find a group of people you love to hang out with without going Greek, so if sororities aren’t your thing, don’t join one!

Myth #4: College guys are more mature than high school guys

Reality: Although high school boys don’t magically become men when they enter college, this one really does depend on the individual.

Many of your male counterparts will still act incredibly immature. They’ll want to play video games and sleep around and spend the majority of their time with their even more juvenile friends.

“College guys are even more immature than high school guys in my opinion. They think they can get away with everything now that they are away from their parents,” says Erica, a student at University of Michigan. “Sit in a room full of frat boys and you will feel like you're in the cafeteria with a bunch of seventh graders.”

But mature college guys DO exist.

It is possible to meet guys in college who have future goals, a savings account and a sense of humor that doesn’t revolve around farting. Some will learn how to act like adults – you just have to find them. Try looking for boys in your classes or at your club meetings rather than at frat parties and bars. They’re more likely to have things in common with you and want a more serious relationship.

Myth #5: You won’t have any fun if you don’t drink

Reality: Drinking is common in college, but that doesn’t mean everyone does it. In fact, there are a large number of college students who never drink.

Drinking should always be a personal choice, not one you make because you think it’s expected of you. If you don’t feel comfortable, then don’t do it!

This totally doesn’t mean that you have to sit in your room while your friends go out. Contrary to what some may think, you’re allowed to be sober at a party. Getting your dance on and flirting with cute boys don't depend on blacking out, or even having one drink. But if you still end up feeling uncomfortable, try carrying around a cup of water or soda so no one asks you why you’re not downing drinks.

Party scene still isn’t your thing? It’s definitely possible to have a social life outside of it.

“I don't drink, and about four or five of my friends don't,” says Hailey. “If it bothers you that all your friends drink and you don’t, talk to them about doing non-alcoholic activities.”

Try having a movie marathon, going to a concert or doing karaoke night! Drinking isn’t the only way to have a crazy-fun college weekend.

Myth #6: Everyone has a ton of dating and sexual experience

Reality: A big fear of many collegiettes is not having enough romantic experience as an incoming freshman. But this should never be something you’re worried about. The dating and sexual history of every single person you meet in college will be different; no one has gone through exactly the same things!

“A lot of girls go into freshman year thinking they're big losers if they haven't swiped their V-cards yet, when in reality, that's just not true,” says Quinn Keaney, a recen alumna of the University of Pittsburgh. “Just because they never met the right guy (or girl) in high school doesn't mean they'll be doomed to the same fate all through college.”

According to HC’s Ultimate College Girl Survey results from 2012, 43 percent of girls entering college are still virgins!

Whether you have lots of experience, no experience or somewhere in between, it doesn’t matter. College can be a time to change things up, keep doing what you’ve been doing or just get started. Don’t lose sleep about what others are doing or have done in the past, just focus on you.

 

So collegiettes, now that you could probably be the star of a college-themed episode of Myth Busters, you should feel ready to have an amazing year at whatever school you’ve chosen. The truth is out, use it!

Links We Love 8.31.14

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Swapping faces the Disney way. [theBerry]

13 of the most college things that ever happened. [BuzzFeed]

The world’s smartestcities. [The National Geographic]

How the Virginia Tech shooting brought this couple together. [The Huffington Post]

Are fake freckles a new beauty trend? [Jezebel]

Inside the business of Dr. Seuss. [The Wall Street Journal]

When should you arrive at a party? [FiveThirtyEight]

Turn your closet into Lauren Conrad’s. [Betches Love This]

10 dogs that take jealousy to the next level. [YourTango]

12 guys you should never date. [PopSugar]

15 Fun & Free Fall Dates

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Classes are back in session, the leaves are about to change color and the weather is getting cooler, but don’t let the autumn chill take the sizzle out of your love life! There are tons of amazing date opportunities for the fall months that won’t break the bank. Her Campus presents 15 fun and free date ideas for fall.

1. Make “His and Hers” Scarecrows

scarecrows

Making scarecrows isn’t just for farmers with a pesky bird problem, it can be a great way to show off your creativity and bond with your guy. First, raid your closets for a scarecrow wardrobe. No plaid? No problem. Any old outfit will do! Once you pick the outfits, stuff the clothes with hay, old newspapers, or leaves until the scarecrows are nice and plump. Then, tie the ends of the sleeves and pant legs with rubber bands or ribbons. Stuff a plastic bag or old pillowcase with leaves for the head and don’t forget to give your scarecrow a face with markers or paint. Add an old hat or some ribbons for hair to complete the dashing duo. Some of our favorite scarecrows were the non-traditional type, like this adorable pair of on a tandem bike. Now you’ll have a perfect scarecrow couple!

2. Bike through the Fall Foliage

Hop on your bikes to enjoy the crisp autumn air, the beautiful foliage and the sound of crunchy leaves beneath your wheels. Not only is riding your bike a great source of exercise, but you’ll both feel more relaxed and at one with nature as well. Whether you bike through a local park or just around campus, you’re sure to enjoy the scenic ride on this great outdoorsy date.

3. Go on a Hayride

hayride

Lots of farms have free apple or pumpkin picking hayrides where you just pay for the produce at the end. If you’re not looking to drop the cash for the fruit, sit back, relax and enjoy the hayride together. Afterwards, walk hand-in-hand taking a romantic stroll through the orchards and simply enjoy each other’s company.

4. Visit a Haunted House

Face your fears and visit a free haunted house in your area. Link arms and try not to make fun of your guy if he gets more scared than you do! If you can’t find any free haunted houses in your area, consider organizing your own haunted house or volunteering as a “scarer.” Sometimes it can be more fun to be on the other end of the fright!

5. Carve or Paint Pumpkins

jack o lantern carved pumpkin halloween

If you have some pumpkins, why not channel some creativity and carve or paint them? There are plenty of free designs for pumpkin carving that are available online. Click here for some great templates! And don’t forget to roast the seeds in the oven for a tasty snack!

6. Midnight Bonfire

Use a fire pit to build a romantic bonfire. Roast marshmallows, look at the stars and enjoy each other’s company in the great outdoors. For instructions on building a bonfire, click here. If you’re stuck on campus and don’t have access to a real fire, browse YouTube for a crackling fire video and pop some s’mores in the microwave for a relaxing evening in.

7. Monster Movie Marathon

Get in the Halloween spirit by checking out Hulu’s scary movie selection and pick some frightening flicks to watch together. Horror movies give you the perfect opportunity to snuggle up close. If the bone-chilling gore becomes too much, you can always turn off the flick and let things heat up between you and your guy.

8. Read Ghost Stories

couple reading book in bed dating relationship cute boyfriend girlfriend

Head to your campus library and check out some creepy ghost stories. Cuddle up under a warm blanket and take turns reading the tales aloud to each other. Add candlelight for a romantic yet spooky touch! If you like your scary stories to have a modern flair, read the scary urban legends together by the glow of your laptop.

9. Post-Thanksgiving Picnic in the Park

Enjoy those Thanksgiving leftovers by planning a romantic lunch in the park with him. Pack some turkey sandwiches and pumpkin pie in a picnic basket and take along a blanket to enjoy your meal amongst the lovely foliage. You can cozy up and give thanks for the wonderful man in your life.

10. Conjure Up Some Treats

halloween cupcakes october fall sweet treat

Get out the flour, butter and sugar and whip up some delicious desserts. After you’re done baking some Halloween cookies or cupcakes, get creative with the frosting - things will be heating up in no time! Check out these spellbinding recipes:

11. Visit a Fall Festival

Lots of towns host free fall festivals complete with live entertainment, food, and activities. Check to see if there are any fall festivals in your area. Strolling through a fair arm-in-arm with your guy will make for a great autumn date.

12. Go Trick-or-Treating

Embrace your inner child and go house-to-house with your guy to score some sweets. If he’s convinced that you’re too old for trick-or-treating, suggest going to a Halloween store or thrift shop to try on some crazy costumes. For extra fun, make it a contest to see who can find the most ridiculous costume – loser has to make dinner for the winner!

13. Get Crafty

halloween craft

Scour Pinterest for some fun Halloween crafts you can make with your man. Grab some glitter, markers, construction paper and glue and get those creative juices flowing. Some of our favorite Pinterest crafts include:

14. Volunteer Together

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, what’s a better time to do some good? Visit a local animal shelter or soup kitchen and volunteer together. You’ll both feel good about giving back to the community, and seeing your guy play with puppies or donning an apron to serve food to the needy will be enough to melt your heart.

15. Pick Your Own Apples (and Cook up Recipes)!

What’s more synonymous with fall than the crisp smell of apples in the air? Hop in the car and visit your local orchard and make a day trip out of it. Tour the farm, sip some cider and nibble on some cider donuts (delicious)! Check out some of these other apple recipes to make together!

 

What fall date ideas do you have? Let us know in a comment below!

Your 3 Biggest Concerns About College—Solved!

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You’re going to college. Gah! Eek! Aah! There isn’t a nonsensical syllable out there that can encapsulate all of the excitement, fear and apprehension you’re probably feeling now. Fortunately, you’re not alone. There are many things that everyone who moves away to college worries about, and most of them aren’t as big of deals as you think they are.

Without further ado, here are the three things that have been keeping you up at night as you face your first semester of college as well as tips for how to deal with them.

1. “What if I don’t make any good friends?”

When you were in high school, you had a solid group of friends. Failed a test? Got rejected by a potential prom date? Your friends were there to help you fight the disappointing things in life. They could lessen the impact of any problem with a hug and a joke.

Cut to the first day of fall semester of college: You don’t know anyone, and you’re worried about never having someone to eat with in the dining hall. Or worse, you’ll hang out with people you don’t really like for the sake of having some company. You feel like you’re expected to slay a dragon without your sword and armor. 

How to deal

First, there’s the fear that you’re not going to meet anyone. This is as silly as worrying that Cory and Topanga will get a divorce. “Did you have friends in high school? Then you're probably a pretty likeable person,” says Iris, a junior at UCLA. “People will want to be friends with you—promise!”

You are one member of an entire class of incoming freshman who are all worried about not knowing anyone. “Everyone is looking for friends during orientation, welcome week, throughout the first semester and sometimes all of freshman year,” Iris says. Even if you’re going to a smaller school, there will be hundreds of potential friends waiting in line for the cereal bar or taking the shuttle bus downtown. You’ll meet people.

However, there’s the pressing concern that you’re not going to meet anyone you like. In your rush to find someone to sit with at lunch, you might start hanging out with the first people you see and spend all of freshman orientation with them before realizing you don’t have anything in common. Maybe they’re constantly making jokes at your expense, or maybe they have no interests beyond the latest Kardashian scandal.  They’re just not the people you want to spend your free time with—the type of people who can even make a trip to the grocery store fun.

This is what happened to Amanda*, a junior at the University of Rochester. “I met my first college ‘friends’ more or less by default,” she says. “Most of them were really nice people, but hanging out with them, I often got the feeling I was surrounded by acquaintances rather than friends.” If you find yourself in this situation, don’t feel like you need to settle for people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.

Fortunately, college campuses are concentrated areas of people your age who have many of the same interests and fears that you do. “Go up to people, because chances are high they were too shy to talk to you and will be really happy that you took the initiative,” Iris says.

Try making small talk with people you meet in your favorite place on campus (whether it’s the gym or the German philosophy section of the library). Go to club interest meetings or ask friendly people in your classes if they want to grab lunch after lecture.

“Once I managed to find one or two people I could actually be myself around, it was surprisingly easy to make real friends with the fun, interesting people they introduced me to,” Amanda says. You only need one or two good friends to start building a supportive group of friends.

2. “How am I supposed to choose a major when it takes me 20 minutes to decide which shirt to wear each day?

You hate the question “So what are you planning to major in?” First of all, it’s so clichéd—everyone from your ninth-grade gym teacher to your great-aunt seems to be asking it. Second, all of your life aspirations and philosophies can’t be conveyed by something as small as the subject you’re going to study in school. Third, and most importantly—you have no idea how to answer it.

You’re unsure about which major to choose, and you feel like this means you don’t have a future. If you were to flip over tarot cards, they’d be blank. You know you’ll need to declare a major soon, but you don’t know what to do.

How to deal

The good news is that you have the next few years to complete your graduation requirements, so this is the time to explore and experiment. Freshman year is when you’re supposed to have a blank crystal ball.

Dr. Alistair Kwan, who has advised students at the University of Melbourne, the University of Rochester and Yale University, started his undergraduate career studying architecture but ended up switching his major more times than he can count. “I couldn't have known in advance that architecture was not what I really wanted to do, nor that some of the other majors even existed,” he says. “At that stage I couldn't have foreseen what I'd become a few years later.”

However, Dr. Kwan ended up returning to architecture for his dissertation. “Giving up a subject early doesn’t necessitate giving it up forever,” he says.

His advice for freshman? “Don't pick a major — pick three or four! Or more!” he says. “Put them together, let others join the fray, see what emerges.” In other words, don’t stress about knowing exactly what you want to do now. Be open to anything, and you’ll find a match made in major heaven.

Dr. Kwan offers some things to keep in mind while looking for courses during your freshman year:

  1. Every department has a different personality: “Look at what the people and everyday life are like in the department. Do they show you their latest cool discoveries when you visit to ask for help? Are they curious? Open-minded? Authoritarian? Do they learn in books, in labs, or art galleries, or museums? What's advertised on their noticeboards?”
  2. Never underestimate the power of a professor who excites you: “Look for teachers who elevate your aspirations, and go study with them.”
  3. Focus on your education as a way to educate yourself, not solely as a way to get a job: “The 'liberal' in liberal arts doesn't mean 'humanities' or 'not science.’ It's the 'liberal' of 'liberty'; it means 'free.' It means equipping yourself to participate in free society [and] building the mental habits, powers and attitudes of an autonomous citizen in democracy. As for employer-friendly skills and graduate school credentials — I actually can't imagine not developing those through a good liberal education. College offers no shortage of opportunities to develop skills and a track record of strong intellectual performance.”

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what shirt you decide to wear as long as you feel comfortable in it (you know, don’t wear a tank top the day you go sledding). The same is true of your major. Don’t worry too much about the words that will end up being a line on your resume. Worry about using the next four years to grow as a thinker.

3. “How will I cope with being away from my family?”

You thought you were ready to move away from your parents’ overly watchful eyes, but now you’re having second thoughts. When you get the flu, who will call the school and make you chicken noodle soup? When you get wrapped up in school and friends, who will do your laundry and cook you dinner? When you just need a hug, who will love you unconditionally?

As you pack, you turn off Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent” and pump up Carrie Underwood’s “Don’t Forget to Remember Me.” You don’t want to admit it, but you’re worried about doing all those things your family usually does for you, and you’re worried about feeling lonely.

How to deal

We’re not going to lie—homesickness is hard, and it can hit you when you least expect it. You’ll feel like you’re going through the motions of your day, wasting time until you can be back in your hometown bedroom with your dog and the window view of your street.

“Just stick it out,” says Patricia, a senior at the University of Rochester. “It’s terrible the first few days, but then it gets better.”

It gets better because you get stronger. You’ll find that you have what it takes to live on your own. You can do your own laundry, keep your room (mostly) clean and keep track of your commitments. Once in a while you’ll mess up (oversleep and miss your freshman writing seminar, perhaps), but you’ll figure out what you need to do (email the professor and make up the work) on your own. Plus, you’ll find that lying in bed with Netflix and tea when you’re sick is just as great a remedy as chicken noodle soup ever was!

You’ll probably realize that moving to college is the ideal way to get used to living on your own. Think about it: When else will you have a decent place to live without having to worry about paying the electricity bill and cooking for yourself every day?  Focusing on the perks of your situation can help you put your life in perspective.

Patricia says that “the freedom to make your own schedule and not having parents/people hovering over you” are two of her favorite things about living on her own. Ask any collegiette and she’s sure to agree!

Even if you feel like snuggling under your covers and feeling sorry for yourself those first few days or weeks, put on a smile and get out there. After all, it’s called “living on your own,” not “moping in bed all the time on your own.”

“Be friendly towards everyone!” says Brigid, a senior at the University of Rochester. “Friends make homesickness much easier to bear, and you never know who will end up being your closest friends.” You know, the friends you’ll feel homesick for during Christmas break.

If you feel overwhelmed or if the loneliness doesn’t go away, “you should know how to [utilize] campus resources, such as counseling services,” Iris says. “They are so helpful (and free!).” Asking for help when she needs it is one of the strongest and smartest things a collegiette can do.

College is supposed to take you outside of your comfort zone—that’s part of how it helps you grow and become an adult. Be prepared for some changes, but know that you can handle anything that comes your way!

*Name has been changed.


The 10 Couples You'll Meet in College

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Think you’re prepared for college romance?  Until you can spot the most notorious campus couples,think again!  Read below for HC’s guide to the top ten duos you’ll get to know in your four years.

1. The Couple Who’s Already Booked the Campus Chapel

college couple dating relationship

These “romantics” are engaged or soon-to-be.  They lovingly refer to the children they do not have, and they’ve already spent at least one year of major holidays together (including, but not limited to, the Fourth of July).  If they seem on a different track than most couples, it’s because they are.  Expect them to skip out on fraternity ragers for quiet weekends at (ugh) bed and breakfasts.  But hooray for true love, right guys??

2. The Sorority Sweetheart and the Frat Star

These Greek gods have all the social connections and one or both of them is most likely a chapter president.  They’re pretty.  Like J.Crew catalog pretty.  And while there’s always underlying drama with these two, you’ll never see them miss a big social event!

3. The Activists

activist couple kissing relationships

Remember way back when Summer got all vegan-y on the last season of The O.C. and started hanging around that Che guy?  THEY WERE THIS COUPLE.  They always have a cause, and it always involves wearing really similar pants.  Find them planting sustainable foods in the campus garden, having sit-ins to stop wildlife clearing in order to build new dorms and, most importantly, biking everywhere.

4. The All-Americans

Imagine if David Beckham and Hope Solo dated . . . this is the couple with enough athletic scholarship money between them to finance a comfortable suburban home.  These two are gifted in the abs department.  My one request?  Stop working out at the gym together; it just makes everyone else want to give up.

5. The Reality Show Drama Couple

Okay, so maybe they don’t have a reality show, but they break up and get back together enough times to make one happen.  Find them at the bar, alternatively slurring insults at each other and furiously making out.  Don’t even THINK about trying to get mixed up in this one.  Remember what happened when Ronnie tried to hook up with other girls behind Sammi’s back on The Jersey Shore? Yikes.

6. The Power Couple

They’ve got matching ambition and the 4.0’s to prove it.  This is the couple who will go from trading notes in the library to trading notes on the Senate floor.  If you end up in a class with them, expect that they will dominate—they are each other’s biggest competition.  Like the Obamas or the Clintons (though some of these romances work out better than others...).

7. The High School Sweethearts

high school sweethearts couple in love

Every freshman floor has at least one girl pining away for her high school boyfriend.  They Skype constantly, and he comes to visit about every other weekend.  When they’re together, expect them to hibernate in her dorm; when they’re not, expect her phone to be attached to her hand at all times.  This couple often bids their relationship adieu over the notorious Thanksgiving Break (“The Turkey Dump”), but some manage to stick it out for the long haul.

8. The Orientation to Graduation Couple

These crazy kids met the first day of college and have been dating ever since.  They were among the few freshmen to pair off right away and are among the even fewer who stay together.  While they may not keep dating after college, they are certainly tagged in an obscene amount of Facebook photos together from the duration.

beautiful couple well dressed couple stylish couple models

9. The Law Student and the Co-ed

There’s always one sorority girl who finds her frat boy counterparts to be too immature.  Enter the older law student/med student/local businessman who’s still into 19-year-olds! While their love isn’t traditional, it is mutually beneficial.  You can find them out at nice dinners and swanky bars.  Just don’t call him a Sugar Daddy!

10. The Best Dressed Duo

Even if they go to school in the middle of Iowa, they dress like it’s New York Fashion Week every day.  They shop together, and they probably both have really good hair, seemingly without trying.  Find them around campus looking like they’re posing for a fashion shoot. You will never find them repeating outfits.

Should You Join a Sorority as an Upperclassman?

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Freshman year came and went. You may have gone through rush and didn’t find the right sorority, you may have wanted time to adjust to college before joining a sorority or you may have initially thought going Greek wasn’t for you. But now you feel like something from your college experience is missing. Whether deep down you always yearned to wear letters or if you just realized that going Greek could be your perfect fit, it is completely possible to join Greek life later in your college career. There are both perks and pitfalls of joining a sorority after your first year, so check out Her Campus’s list of pros and cons to help yourself decide if joining a sorority as an upperclassman is right for you!

Pro: You’re already adjusted to college life

Many collegiettes decide to wait to join a sorority so that they have time to settle into college first and to focus on getting good grades. Once you’ve had some time to adjust, it won’t be as difficult juggling new commitments (big/little week, chapter, charity events, mixers) with schoolwork because you’ll already be used to college life and managing a busy schedule.

Geanie Blanco, a senior at SUNY Oneonta who joined Sigma Delta Tau as a second-semester sophomore, was happy that she had time to ease in to college life before joining a sorority. “I was able to really grow as an independent person my first three semesters away from home and learn a lot about myself [that] I don’t think I would have if I had joined as a freshmen,” Geanie says. “I’m definitely happy that I waited to go through recruitment.” 

You may also already have friends outside of Greek life, so add your new sisters into the mix, and you’ll have an awesome, big group of friends to hang with! “Freshman year I was also able to establish a large friend base outside of Greek life, which is great since there can be drama situations you need to get away from sometimes,” Geanie says.  

Con: The older you get, the more difficult it can be to join

While upperclassmen can join sororities, age discrimination can occur. Some sororities have a specific number of spaces for freshmen and limited spaces for upperclassmen.

“At my school, only freshmen are guaranteed a bid from the start,” says Iris Goldsztajn, a junior at the University of California, Los Angeles who joined Gamma Phi Beta as a sophomore. “So obviously, a lot of the places are saved for them, and the older you get, the less space there could be for you.” 

You may get overlooked not because the sorority members don’t like you, but just because of your year. “For juniors especially, it is REALLY hard for them to rush,” says Tyra*, a Cornell sorority sister. “One thing we were always asked if we were to stand up for a junior rushing was, ‘Do you want to take a little that’s older than you?’ Plus, financially, it is letting in someone in who will only pay dues for three to four semesters as opposed to seven to eight, so Nationals might not be thrilled with that.” 

You should expect that other girls might question your motives. “Girls will wonder why you’ve waited this long to rush,” Iris adds. “Did you feel above Greek life before? Are you just joining for internship opportunities or cheaper housing?” If you’re doing recruitment for the right reasons, don’t sweat it, but be prepared for everyone to ask why now you’re suddenly interested in joining. When this happens, just be ready to whip out a quick, honest explanation about why you’re interested, and specifically what changed between freshmen year and now.

Remember that although it can get more difficult to join a sorority as you get older, it’s not impossible! “I have one continuing third-year in my pledge class, and about five junior transfers,” Iris says. “If [active members] like you during rush, that’s ultimately all that matters.” 

Pro: You can get the inside scoop from friends already in sororities 

Chances are you already have a few friends who are in sororities. They may be able to give you some insight into their sororities and the vibes of their chapters. 

“A lot of my friends have talked to me about sorority life,” says Gloria Kimbulu, a sophomore at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who is rushing in the fall. “Since I have friends in different sororities, I do have a better idea of which sororities I’m interested in. I think that talking to my friends will help my rush experience because I may have a better idea of what to expect than some incoming freshmen.”

Check out HC’s complete guide to sorority rush for more ideas for what to expect during rush!

You’ve also already been on campus for a while, so chances are you have a better sense of each sorority’s reputation on campus and the types of people each sorority attracts. “Another advantage of joining later is that you can get a feel for them beforehand, instead of joining blindly—even though the rush process tends to work out pretty well as a general rule,” Iris says.

Even if you still don’t know which sorority you want to join, knowing a few friendly faces during recruitment can still help you feel a little more at ease. If you go through rush already knowing several girls in a sorority, you’ll likely be more comfortable when speaking with girls in their sororities since you’ll already know active members! 

Con: You may feel old in your pledge class

Joining later means that you’ll have a younger pledge class, and it’s possible that your big may be the same age as you or younger. “It can make your big/little experience weird because I know people that are older than their bigs,” says Elora Clifford, a recent grad from Boston University who was in Sigma Delta Tau. “At BU, a lot of people don’t like taking a sophomore as a little because you automatically think that most people tend to go abroad spring of their junior year, and if she comes as a sophomore and you get her as a little, the following year when she goes abroad, she won’t be able to take a little.”

If you’re in a pledge class full of freshmen, you also may feel a bit out of place. “When a new class comes in, everyone treats them like a freshman even though some of them aren’t,” Elora says. “Everyone automatically assumes that you are a freshman, so you get treated like it.”

However, it is possible that there will be other girls in the same situation as you! “I was a little worried at first,” says Geanie of rushing as a sophomore. “But when I saw a lot of girls my age going through rush the same time as me, I felt better.” 

Pro: You won’t have to pay as many dues

Since you just joined, you may have missed out on a year or two of paying dues. 

“Honestly, probably one of the biggest advantages of waiting to join is that you have to pay one year less of dues, which are really expensive,” Elora says. Waiting a little will give yourself time to save up money if you didn’t have the financial means necessary to join earlier. By joining later, you can still have a great experience, but it won’t cost you as much. 

The cost to join a sorority varies widely depending on the school and sorority. According to Campus Explorer, at the University of Southern California, the average cost is $1,300 a year (but does not include housing and food); at Penn State, the costs range from $350 to $600 per semester; and at the University of California, Berkeley, being in a sorority costs between $3,500 and $4,200 a semester, which includes housing and food.

Deciding whether you want to join a sorority is a big decision. Joining a sorority later in your college career can be a little difficult, but if you find the right sorority, your future sisters won’t care what year you are—they’ll just be glad to have you in the family!

*Name has been changed.

The Best Way to Be the Face of Your Favorite Brands on Campus

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How would you feel about representing brands like Barbour, French Connection, BCBG, Vince Camuto, Frye, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Free People, Sam Edelman and Joe’s Jeans? Pretty good, right? Look no further, collegiettes: Here’s your chance to be the face of some of your favorite brands on your own college campus!

In case you weren’t aware, all of these contemporary brands (and hundreds more!) are sold at Lord & Taylor, meaning you can get chic, on-trend pieces at accessible prices, all in one place! Not only does Lord & Taylor have an a-maze selection of brands and designers, but the store itself is also beautiful and easy to shop, meaning your shopping experience will be stress-free!

Intrigued? You should be! For the collegiette who loves rocking the hottest brands whether she’s heading to class or a coffee date, the brand-new Lord & Taylor Trendsetters brand ambassador program is a perfect fit. 

As a fashion-forward Lord & Taylor Trendsetter, you’ll get a sneak peek into the world of retail, fashion and marketing, as well as an opportunity to bring your favorite brands to your campus. Not to mention you’ll be rewarded for your hard work with plenty of discounts and amazing prizes from Lord & Taylor! Free clothes? Sign us up! 

The brand ambassador program will launch the last week of September and last the entirety of the academic year (until May 2015). During your year as a Lord & Taylor Trendsetter, you’ll be expected to contribute 5-10 hours per week to the program, meaning you’ll still have plenty of time to ace your midterms, hit the gym for pre-season and hang out with your friends (and friends-with-benefits!). 

If you need a bit more convincing (but why should you?), there are some seriously amazing perks to being a Lord & Taylor Trendsetter that are sure to appeal to the fashionista in every collegiette.

Perks: 

  • Monthly stipend for clothes and accessories from Lord & Taylor with a value of approximately $200 per month 
  • Special monthly discount on select Lord & Taylor items
  • Seasonal discounts at Lord & Taylor to shop the latest looks and stay on top of the newest trends
  • Free designer clothes from lines sold exclusively at Lord & Taylor (including William Rast, founded by Justin Timberlake & Trace Ayala)
  • $200 giveaway budget per semester per campus + in-store makeover prizes (2 girls per campus)

A shopping allowance? Free designer clothes? It’s almost too good to be true! Sounds like it’s time to decide what role you want to play in bringing the hottest brands to your school. Each campus brand ambassador duo will consist of two positions: marketing specialist and event planner. Each member has a set of responsibilities to engage her local campus, create content and drive positive brand awareness of Lord & Taylor on campus:

Marketing Specialist responsibilities: 

  • Develop, manage and promote school-specific Lord & Taylor social media accounts (Twitter, Facebook and Instagram – e.g., Lord & Taylor Barnard) to build awareness about brand, promote a unique campus promo code and on-campus events
  • Post a minimum of (3) posts/week on campus Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts
  • Host a total of (2) giveaways per semester across social media channels (Twitter, Facebook and Instagram) to drive engagement
  • Note: Giveaway winner may receive an outfit from Lord & Taylor and be featured in a Snapshot style blog post on Her Campus chapter site (coordinate with Event Planner)
  • Report directly to Her Campus Nationals and submit weekly status reports containing links to all social and Her Campus posts that went live the past week
  • Participate in monthly progress Google Hangouts with brand ambassador network, Her Campus and Lord & Taylor employees
  • Receive and distribute promotional materials (e.g., flyers) and products
  • Partner with Her Campus chapter to be featured as a Campus Celebrity on chapter site
  • Complete brand ambassador program surveys

Event Planner responsibilities: 

  • Facilitate (2) Snapshot style blog posts on Her Campus chapter site featuring clothing from Lord & Taylor per semester
  • Note: Snapshot style blog may feature giveaway winner in an outfit from Lord & Taylor (coordinate with Marketing Specialist)
  • Coordinate and execute (1) required in-store shopping party per semester in partnership with Lord & Taylor and Her Campus chapter
  • Develop innovative promotional tactics to drive event attendance with support from Lord & Taylor and Her Campus chapter
  • Provide recap of event, including total attendance, photos and key takeaways
  • Report directly to Her Campus Nationals and submit weekly status reports containing links to all social and Her Campus posts that went live the past week
  • Participate in monthly progress Google Hangouts with brand ambassador network, Her Campus and Lord & Taylor employees
  • Receive and distribute promotional materials (e.g., flyers) and products
  • Partner with Her Campus chapter to be featured as a Campus Celebrity on chapter site
  • Complete brand ambassador program surveys

Is there anything better than not only getting to rock, but also represent, your favorite brands on campus? As if all the amazing perks and insight weren’t enough, think of all the work experience you’ll be able to put on your résumé and talk about during interviews! So what are you waiting for? Head over to the Lord & Taylor Trendsetter application page and become the face of fashion at your school.

How She Got There: Lauren Schwab & Marissa Vosper, Co-Founders of Negative Underwear

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Name: Lauren Schwab
Age: 29
Job Title and Description: Co-Founder of Negative Underwear
College/Major: University of Pennsylvania/Bachelor of Arts in History of Art and Diplomatic History
Website: www.negativeunderwear.com
Twitter Handle: @negative_wear

Name:  Marissa Vosper
Age: 29
Job Title and Description: Co-Founder, Negative Underwear
College/Major: University of Pennsylvania/Political Science & Spanish Language
Website: www.negativeunderwear.com
 Twitter Handle: @MarissaVosper

 
What does your current job entail? Is there such a thing as a typical day? 

Lauren Schwab: My best friend from college, Marissa Vosper, and I launched Negative – an e-commerce brand of everyday underwear that merges comfort and cool – this past February. As it’s just the two of us, we do everything to design, develop, manufacture, market and sell our bras, underwear and tees.

While there’s no such thing as a typical day, I generally start my day around 6 a.m. and finish around midnight. But what happens in between those hours can vary dramatically.  One day we’re doing a photo shoot in a 40,000 square-foot vintage furniture warehouse in Philadelphia and the next we’re living in Excel spreadsheets, analyzing our sales and planning our next collection.

Marissa Vosper: 50 percent email (honestly), 15 percent strategic thinking, 10 percent hard decisions, 5 percent venting and/or celebrating, 20 percent winging it. There is absolutely no such thing as a typical day! 

What is the best part of your job?

LS: There is nothing better than building a brand and a product that I’m passionate about with a partner whom I greatly respect and by whom I’m constantly inspired.  

MV: Knowing that we made a tangible product that makes women feel amazing every day.  

What was your first entry-level job in your field and how did you get it?

LS: [I had] never had a job in fashion prior to starting Negative. My first real job out of college was as an analyst at an investment firm, which I got through a friend who had joined the firm a few months earlier and passed my resume along to one of the firm’s HR representatives.  

MV: I actually never had a job in fashion before launching a company in fashion! My first real job post-college was [as] an analyst at a branding agency in NYC. I had spent previous summers interning in marketing and found my way to brand consulting because it seemed like a great opportunity to combine analytic and creative thinking.  

What is one thing you wish you knew about your industry when you first started out that you know now?

LS: While everyone talks about the importance of networking, I don’t think I truly understood the value of making and developing professional relationships until we started Negative. It is amazing how much you can learn and how far you can get by just talking to people, asking questions and being likeable.

MV: They say success in fashion is about connections. But now I know. Success in fashion is definitely about connections. Networking is 100 percent essential. 

Who is one person who changed your professional life for the better?

LS: My father continues to inspire me with his work ethic, his commitment and his passion to discover a strategic solution to the most challenging issue. While he has always been my sounding board for academic and professional advice, he is now my most valued mentor and advisor in starting Negative.

MV: My boyfriend (now fiancé) has been hugely influential in my professional life. He’s so ambitious, hardworking and driven, and has continuously encouraged me to think big and follow my passions.  

What words of wisdom do you find most valuable?

LS: Don’t worry about failures; worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

MV: Always be the nicest guy (ahem, girl) in the room –- kill them with kindness. Irrational optimism is absolutely necessary to being an entrepreneur. Perfection can be the plague of progress. But details really do matter. 

What is one mistake you made along the way and what did you learn from it?

LS: Read the fine print and be careful whom you trust!  No one is going to care about your business or value your money as much as you will. 

MV: Be careful and considerate about [whom] you hire and where you place your trust; no one cares as much about your business as you do.  

What has been the most surreal moment of your career thus far?

LS: Since our launch, the customer feedback has been completely surreal. We’ve received emails from customers spanning generations and geographies enthusiastically proclaiming that we’ve created the bra they’ve always dreamed of. We’ve even received emails from boyfriends and husbands thanking us for making a bra that made their girlfriends and wives so happy.  It feels amazing to have customers love our product as much as we do.

MV: Our site launched to coincide with a story in the Wall Street Journal. The amount of orders, customers, emails and buzz that resulted and continues to result from that quarter [of a] page of printed press is completely surreal. It immediately put our brand on a national map, reaching a much broader audience than we’d anticipated at such an early stage.  

What do you look for when considering hiring someone?

LS: A high emotional IQ, passion, commitment, flexibility, positivity and a strong work ethic.

MV: Emotional intelligence, proactive drive, positivity, creativity, problem-solving mentality.

What advice would you give to a 20-something with similar aspirations?

LS: Find an opportunity in the market. Do your research. Partner with a person you trust and respect implicitly.  Leverage your existing network to meet new people, learn things you don’t know and find ways that you can help others.  Stay focused and don’t take no for an answer.

MV: Find your niche. Do your homework – make sure there’s an opportunity, know your category inside and out, and define how you’re going to do something compelling and different. Obsess over the details that matter. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Work harder than your competitors. Network your butt off! 

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7 Love Mistakes to Avoid This Year

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With another fall semester here, it’s time that we take a good, hard look at ourselves (and our love lives). Whatever mistakes we made last year are in past semesters—we’ve got the chance to revamp our romances, so let’s not waste the opportunity by falling into the arms of yet another sleazy frat bro! Whether you have a nasty habit of choosing guys who were going nowhere or you were too much of a wallflower last spring, we’ve got the right advice to help you change your ways.

1. You Revolved Your Social Life Around a Guy

It starts off innocently enough: you want to hang out with your fun, new hook-up, so you decide to spend a Saturday night with him and his friends. But then a single Saturday night becomes an entire weekend, and before you know it, you’re making plans to fit his schedule (and ditching your friends in the process).

Why is it such a bad thing? “Most college relationships don't last forever, so when the relationship ends, you don't want to be left behind by friends who are disgruntled that you have been neglecting them when you had something ‘better’ going on,” says Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus.

Shira Kipnees, a senior at Franklin & Marshall College, had to change her habits when she started making sacrifices for her boyfriend of three years. “We're long-distance during the school year, so we try and Skype every night,” she explains. “However, some nights he would have something [going on] and would not be able to Skype me until right before I'd be going to bed. I'd stay up waiting for him to be done and to Skype me, sometimes sacrificing an earlier bedtime just to talk.”

Eventually, Shira talked to her boyfriend about the issue and they settled on a “five minute” system. Right before she’s going to bed, she asks him if he’ll be able to Skype soon. If he responds, “Yes, I have five minutes left,” she stays up. If he says, “Not in the next five minutes,” she says goodnight and goes to bed.

It’s all about compromise. By being direct and bringing up the problem like Shira did, you and your guy can figure out a way to spend time together that doesn’t make anyone feel left out or taken advantage of. If you’re long-distance, try setting a specific day and time to Skype and stick to it every week. If you’re on campus together, set aside a girls’ night each weekend—no boyfriends allowed!

2. You Hooked up With a Guy Knowing He Didn’t Want More (& Hoping You Could Change his Mind)

Like many collegiettes before you, you’ve probably fallen into the ever-alluring, fixer-upper hook-up trap. Here’s how the story goes:

  1. You hear of his illustrious bed-hopping reputation and vow to never be just another notch in his belt (no matter how cute he looks from across the quad).
  2. You run into each other at a party, one thing leads to another, and you discover that this boy knows how to kiss. Like, Gone with the Wind, sweep-you-off-your-feet-style kissing.
  3. You decide to make an exception.
  4. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, so you unwittingly agree to a FWB situation.
  5. You tell yourself that once he gets to know you better, he won’t help but falling for you.
  6. He doesn’t.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you aren’t the most amazing, talented, intelligent girl he’s ever been with. You probably are. But when he tells you he isn’t looking for anything serious, chances are he’s set on living the single life in college—or worse, rebounding from a rough break-up.

Connie Chan, a recent graduate of Carnegie Mellon University, found herself in this exact situation. “I've hooked up with a guy before knowing we weren't on the same page,” she says. “As much as I enjoyed his company, I was really wasting my time waiting around for someone who couldn't give me what I wanted. He was nice enough to end things instead of stringing me along, but I wish I had done it myself—and much earlier!”

To save yourself from this tough situation, make some hard rules and resolve to live by them. If he tells you he doesn’t want anything serious (or you hear he’s a heartbreaker), ask yourself where you want to be by the end of the semester. If you envision yourself living the single life or open to hook-ups, then by all means, give him a shot. If, however, you’d prefer to be able to snuggle up with a guy and a mug of hot chocolate come wintertime, keep looking for someone who’s interested in more than midnight booty-calls.

3. You Hooked up With a Guy You Weren’t Really Into

Almost everyone has a past hook-up that they would rather forget, but what if that hook-up also happened to be with someone you didn’t even want to hook up with in the first place? There are plenty of reasons not to hook up with a guy, and this is high on the list.

“Junior year, one of my roommates pushed me to start hanging out with her guy friend, who was best friends with her boyfriend, after he expressed an interest in me to her,” recalls Amy*, a senior at Boston College. “I started going out on double dates with the guy, mostly because I wanted to make my roommate happy. However, once things got physical with [him], I immediately became uncomfortable. I realized that I had never been into the guy since the beginning, as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, and ended things as best I could.”

It’s a tricky spot to be in: you want to be there for your friend, but you’re just not feeling the spark. Remember that just because he’s a friend of your friend’s boyfriend doesn’t mean he deserves any preferential treatment—and definitely no undeserved kisses! If your friend is pressuring you to give him a chance, sit her down and explain that you want to find someone that makes you as happy as her boyfriend makes her, and you can tell that this guy just isn’t Mr. Right. Plus, does your friend really want to deal with the mess you’ll make when you break things off with her boyfriend’s buddy? Definitely not—so remind her of the repercussions!

On the other hand, you might find yourself going for a guy you’re not into simply because you’re lonely, you want to be physical, or you feel left out as the only single girl in your group. (Why rom-coms make the single lady life seem like an awful thing is beyond us.) Bogle’s advice: don’t settle! “There is no upside to hooking up with someone when you don't really want to,” she says. “There are enough guys out there that you will actually be interested in, so focus on them.”

4. You Chased After Guys Who Were Unavailable

We all want what we can’t have: guilt-free carbs, Carrie Bradshaw’s closet, and, of course, unavailable guys. You’d think that we would have evolved to lust after the single ones—after all, they’re much more likely to return the favor—but unfortunately, we collegiettes are constantly crushing hard on the taken ones.

“If you only want what you can't have, you have to ask yourself why,” advises Bogle. “Are you afraid of being hurt? Do you like the thrill of trying to attain the unattainable? Does the thought of getting someone who is hard to catch boost your ego?” If this is becoming a theme in your life, she says, you need to look inward for the reason why.

Once you figure out why you’ve been chasing taken guys, you need to try to make some changes. Don’t go to a party that you know your elusive, taken crush will attend. Instead, spend your time meeting new (single) people. Accept an invitation to hang out with people outside of your usual crowd. Even if there aren’t any guys there the first time, you never know which fantastic boys they might be friends with! Plus, the excitement and nerves of getting to know new people will take your mind off any unattainable flings.

5. You Made an Enemy of Your Ex

It can be hard to use good judgment when feelings get in the way—particularly when those feelings are of the “I need to dump him” variety. Whether he got on your nerves, let the spark fizzle, or played tonsil-hockey with someone else over the weekend, you knew you had to end it. The question was: how?

Briana Morgan, a recent graduate of Georgia College, regrets the way she ended things with an ex. “I was too afraid to have ‘the talk,’” she recounts. “Instead, I avoided him whenever I could. Finally, he showed up at my dorm because he was worried about me. Then, we had the talk. I wish I'd come clean sooner instead of dragging the whole thing out. It wasn't fair to him.”

To avoid making the same mistake twice, try to put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be strung along, hurt and confused for weeks? Nope, and neither would he, so be honest with him.

If you weren’t the one doing the dumping—but you dealt with the break-up badly anyway—you’ll want to take a different tactic. There’s nothing worse than running into an ex on campus who has heard you say bitter things you came to regret. And you definitely don’t want to be known as that girl who starts rumors about old boyfriends (or hooks up with their best friends immediately post-break-up).

This fall, keep your distance from former flames. If you’re with someone and he ends things—which means he’s lost his mind, of course—think before you speak. You may not care much for his feelings in that emotional moment, but keeping in mind how any potential awkwardness could affect you in the future—like in class, at parties, or at club meetings—will help you hold back any nasty insults.

6. You Turned Down a Guy who “Wasn’t Your Type”

Sometimes, it can be hard to spot a truly nice guy, but Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them, and When to Leave Them, explains that a lot of college girls actually avoid good guys—but not on purpose. “They’re afraid to be with a good guy who wants to get close because they're afraid if they get close, the guy will hurt them or abandon them,” she says.

Instead of giving nice guys a chance, most of us collegiettes write them off as “not our type.” We then head straight for the notorious ladies’ men, because deep down, according to Lieberman, we think there’s no risk of getting attached—or hurt. (Spoiler alert: This plan always fails. Always.) That subconscious fear might be to blame for that just-not-into-him feeling you’ve got in your gut when you come across a nice guy.

“I went on a date with this great guy last semester, but I just felt like there wasn’t any chemistry,” recalls Jessica*, a junior at Skidmore College. “I basically put him in the friend zone. Of course, by the end of the year, I ended up wanting him. I’m giving guys a two-date minimum chance next year!”

Give the nice guys a chance, even if they don’t seem like “your type” at first glance. Don’t force yourself to go on more than one date if you really aren’t feeling it—especially since it’ll probably turn into a notorious first date disaster—but ask yourself what it is about the guy that makes you think you don’t have chemistry. Does he seem too predictable? Too interested? If he’s coming on way too strong, keep your distance. But if it’s just that he’s more direct and friendly than the bad boys who’ve kept you guessing in the past, he deserves a shot! Use these seven foolproof ways to tell if he’s a good guy to see if he’s worth your time.

7. You Let Your Crush Slip By

We get it: cute boys are intimidating! They’ve got those dreamy eyes, that fresh cologne smell... it’s a wonder we don’t all start stuttering mid-conversation. If your nerves got the best of you last year, making you more of a wallflower than a flirt, now’s the time to turn things around.

“You only live once,” Bogle reminds us. “If something doesn't work out, fine. But, you will sleep better at night if you know you gave it a shot. Don't sit on the sidelines and watch someone else steal your crush!”

Instead, get in on the action. Don’t be afraid to make the first move. If you see your crush in class, casually ask him to remind you of your latest assignment. Then, ask how he likes the class. The conversation should flow from there!

If you get to the point where you’re on talking terms but he isn’t making moves, he might not realize that you’re interested. Turn up the flirt factor by asking him to hang out for a one-on-one coffee on campus to get him in a dating mindset. Never underestimate the power of body language, either; putting a hand on his arm for a second after he’s told a funny joke is one of the best ways to signal that you’re open to something more.

 

Don’t fall back into bad habits this semester. You may not find love on your first day, but by making these changes (and avoiding these seven love mistakes), you’ll be seven steps closer!

*Names have been changed.

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