Don't say any of these phrases to a girl. In fact, don't even think them around girls. If you do, be prepared for the wrath.
1."You look really tired."
Thanks for noticing. Yes, I am tired. Tired of people reminding me that I have bags under my eyes the size of France.
2. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
Well, how am I supposed to take it now?
3. “You remind me of my mom.”
Isn’t your mom 50?
4. “Are you on your period?”
No, but I might as well be now, because after that comment I’m about to stab you.
5. "Are you wearing that?"
Well, I was going to… until you said that. Congrats, now you have to wait two more hours while I find another outfit that you’re probably going to hate.
6. “You might be able to fit into this.”
Might? What exactly do you mean by might?
7. “Your sister is so hot!”
Wow, that’s a really endearing way to tell me that I got screwed in the gene pool.
8. “You have a really pretty face.”
Just my face? What, you made it past my neck and decided that the rest of me was hideous?
9. “Your hair looks way better (shorter, darker, longer, up, etc.).”
That’s funny, I don’t remember asking for your opinion…
10. “You’re still hungry?”
You know what? Yes, I am. And I am going to inhale this entire Footlong and not feel bad about it.
11. “Why are you freaking out?”
Freaking out?? Do you really want to see me freak out?!
12. “Didn’t you wear that last week?”
Yeah… what are you going to do about it?
13. “You ask a lot of questions.”
Maybe if you learned how to answer them correctly in the first place I wouldn’t have to ask so frickin’ many.
14. “I don’t know if I trust your cooking.”
Fine. Then don’t eat it. More for me.
15. "It's not you; it's me."
Yeah, okay. Good one.
16. “Is that your real hair?”
That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.
17. “Don't be mad; I was just kidding!”
That was really funny. Like, super funny.
18. “Are you sick?”
Yes, and I’m contagious. So don’t piss me off.
19. “You’re crazy.”
If I am in fact crazy, wouldn’t it be a terrible idea to tell me that I'm crazy?
20. “You have a lot of feelings.”
Since when is that illegal?
21. "Calm down."
I. Am. Calm. But you're making it extremely difficult for me to stay that way.
22. “How much do you weigh?
Not even worth an explanation.
