As most people know, going through a breakup is not easy. Either it’s mutual and things just weren’t working out, or it was one-sided and someone is left really hurt. There are so many ways a breakup can be harmful to a person but after some time, eventually you move on. But what happens if one person isn’t over it and wants to try again? Is there a way to know for sure that your ex is still into you? Here are some subtle and some not-so-subtle signs that your ex is ready-and-eager to get back together.
Related: 7 Reasons You're Not Over Your Ex
1. They like an Instagram picture of the two of you from years ago
There is a huge difference between catching up on your latest Instas and liking a picture of the two of you from a long time ago. If you see this, it probably either means that they are missing you hardcore and “liking” a photo of the two of you from during your relationship is a way for them to say “I miss you” without saying it, or one of their friends is playing a nasty joke on them—either way it’s bad news, or good news if you also are ready to try again. For Rebecca, a junior at the University of Connecticut, this happened to her with her last ex. “Out of nowhere he friended me on Facebook again, after defriending me the year before, and stalked through my Instagram and liked almost every single picture of the two of us together.” She said it wasn’t weird, just surprising because he had shown no interest in her since the relationship ended. It was the first of many signs that he wanted to try again.
2. They find literally any reason to talk to you
For some people, moving forward from a breakup is not easy. Besides just losing a boyfriend/girlfriend, they may have also lost their best friend. This means they lost the one person that they call for everything. If months after the breakup they are still calling you to tell you everything, it means they probably are not over it yet. For Brooklynn, a rising senior at Ohio University, something similar happened to her that gave her a major hint that her ex wanted to get back together. “Last summer, my ex of almost two years texted me out of the blue asking how everything was, but in the same conversation, also asked if I was dating anyone,” she says. She proceeded to tell him that she had just gotten out of a relationship but he still wanted to meet. After they got together for some froyo, he asked her if any of her old feelings had arisen because his did. If the hint of asking if she was dating anyone wasn’t enough, the fact that he is bringing up feelings shows that he is not over her and is hoping that she isn’t over it either.
3. They post throwback photos of the two of you
You are probably thinking that this is the most obvious one, and it is. Posting a photo of the two of you is BOLD. If your ex posts a throwback photo of the two of you and you were not expecting it, once again, it’s a sign. People in our generation would rather post about things on social media than confront a situation head on and this is just another shortcut to saying “I love you.” Although you don’t see this very often, everyone was SHOCKED when Justin Bieber posted some photos of him and Selena Gomez from while they were dating. It just seemed weird because that’s not something you typically do. At all. If that didn’t get her attention, I don’t know what will.
Related: 5 Signs It’s Time to Let Go of Your Relationship
4. They drunk call or text you
As all of those cheesy Tumblr memes say, you should be totally flattered when a guy calls you when he is the most incoherent, or something like that. Either way, those 3 a.m. voicemails mean way more than just six tequila shots. Jennifer, a senior at Cornell University, says that three months after she and her ex broke up, she got calls every single weekend from him in the middle of the night. Usually, she would just ignore them but eventually she gave in and called him back and “he told me [her] he still loved me [her] and wasn’t ready to move on.” She also says that it wasn’t much of a shocker to her because the act of calling someone in the middle of a busy party is kind of a big deal. “The fact that he was thinking about me when he is surrounded by all these other girls and people said a lot more than his drunk words.” As annoying as drunk calls and texts may be, they are helpful in figuring out what your ex really wants.
5. They actually just say “I miss you”
When you’re a twentysomething, talking about your feelings may not be the easiest thing to do. But for Gaby, a sophomore at the University of Rochester, that is just what her ex did. “He called me out of the blue and asked if we could meet for coffee. I had exams so I was super busy so I told him he could just come to my dorm. When he got there he had this whole thing written about how he missed me and hasn’t been able to think about any other girl beside me.” It was so blunt and straightforward, she said, that she really admired it. “We had a really nice long talk about what went wrong in the relationship and were finally able to move forward and get some closure.” She said that they didn’t get back together but they were able to stay friends and keep each other in their lives. He wanted to be more but she just wasn’t ready for it. But instead of playing games and pretending like he didn’t care, he just told her that he did. For some, it may not be the easiest thing to do to tell someone you want to get back together, but it is the most effective.
Regardless of how the relationship ended, it happens every so often that one-half of the couple is ready to give it another try. Either they can be completely honest and open and tell you bluntly (like number 5) or they can show some subtle and not so subtle signs. Either way, at the end of the day a conversation needs to be had about what each person wants. So if you are going through a breakup or went through one, however long ago, watch out for some of the signs mentioned above to see if it's time to have a real face-to-face conversation about the future of the past relationship.