Now that graduation season is finally approaching, it’s time to start thinking about your future. Like what job opportunities there are, where you are going to live next year, and making time for all of those awkward (yet necessary) conversations about leaving.
For those of you with an SO, you’ve probably been dreading this talk for a while. If you have found yourself asking questions like, “What do I even say first?” or “What should I even be asking?” or “How do I know what to do?” then this is the perfect article for you to read. Here are the six conversations you need to have with your S.O. before graduating.
1. How serious is this relationship?
Realistically, you’re about to embark on the beginning of your adult life. This is the first question you should be asking yourself and your SO about the relationship. Did you just start dating? If so, how important is your SO to you? Could you imagine going a few days without telling him or her about your day? Or asking for advice about your job or friends? If the answer is yes, then it might be best to go your separate ways.
2. What are your plans after graduation?
You’ve most likely talked about the future with you SO before now, but just in case you haven’t, here’s a reminder to get on that. Morgan Wilkinson, a junior at the University of South Carolina, says, “It sounds obvious, but be really transparent. Tell him where you want to live and where you’re thinking about working. And, make sure you know the same about him. Nothing is worse than realizing too late that you want totally opposite things.” Talking about things beforehand will make everything go much more smoothly!
3. Can we make a long-distance relationship work?
Chances are that if you or your SO has secured a job after graduation, you might be in different cities. If you met in college, and you’ve never been apart for longer than a month or two, then living far apart might be difficult to manage. A lot changes when couples move far apart from each other, like the sex life. Dating and confidence expert Adam LoDolce from Sexyconfidence.com says, “Intimacy is a huge part of relationships and in long distance relationships, that's suddenly gone. So, keep the sexual tension in the relationship as much as possible.” Just because the relationship might be different and require different communication styles, there’s no reason you shouldn’t try to make it work!
Related: 10 Common Long-Term Relationship Mistakes & How to Fix Them
4. Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?
We get it, this sounds like a question you might be asked at a job interview. But, the answer to this question will tell you a lot about your SO and probably help you realize a thing or two about yourself. LoDolce suggests asking questions like, How do you envision your life five or 10 years from now? LoDolce says, “It'll give you an idea about whether or not that person's vision corresponds with your own.” You want to be with someone you see a future with.
5. How are we going to handle the tough stuff?
Finding out your partner’s coping methods during tough times can tell you a lot about who they are as a person. When it comes to big moves or changes, couples’ communication efforts can take a big hit. According to LoDolce, these are the most common mistakes to avoid when it comes to communicating with your SO.
The first mistake, is not communicating what's on your mind. If you’re SO doesn’t know what’s up, how can they address the problem? The second most common mistake is not including the other person in decisions. Everyone wants to feel included and thought of, so next time you plan a weekend with your girls, make sure you let your SO know what your plans are. Lastly, LoDolce has noticed that a lot of people “fade out” once a new job or move comes along. Don’t make that common mistake, it could cost you your relationship!
6. What do you need to be the best “you” you can be?
The most important conversation you should have is with yourself. Be honest and realistic. Are you too dependent on this relationship to try new experiences or meet new people? Can you see yourself living your best life with this person? Or do you need space to learn more about yourself?
Graduating is really exciting. Don’t let stress over figuring out what the next steps should be for your relationship take that away. Asking these six questions will take you in the direction you need to go.