On Monday, the Harvard Crimson published an anonymous, first person account of a sexual assault and its aftermath.
The letter, titled "Dear Harvard: You Win," details a student's sexual assault by a trusted friend and her struggle to get support from the university.
“I was intoxicated, I was in pain, I was trapped between him and the wall, and I was scared to death that he would continue to ignore what I said," the alleged victim writes. "I stopped everything and turned my back to him, praying he would leave me alone. He started getting impatient. ‘Are you only going to make me hard, or are you going to make me come?’ he said in a demanding tone.
It did not sound like a question. I obeyed."
The student reported the assault to her House staff, but she was told that the Administrative Board was unlikely to issue a charge against her attacker, due to Harvard's policy on sexual conduct. The administration said that the student's situation did not match the school's narrow definition of sexual assault, and therefore could not (and would not) investigate.
"The policy, published in the spring of 1993, defines “indecent assault and battery” to be anything involving “unwanted touching or fondling of a sexual nature that is accompanied by physical force or threat of bodily injury.” It does not provide any definition of consent beyond the brief mention, in its definition of rape, that a victim cannot consent if he or she is unable to express unwillingness due to alcohol or drugs, among other factors."
Although the victim and her attacker lived in the same House, the school refused to move the assailant to a different residence on campus. Instead, they repeatedly told the student that she should "feel free" to move to another House herself. She was also told that the assailant "couldn't be punished because he didn't know what he was doing" and that her drinking contributed to the assault.
After nine months of living with her attacker, the student wrote that she was "exhausted" from fighting for herself and decided to move out of her House in order to save her life.
"I’m exhausted from sending emails to my resident dean, to my House Master, to my Sexual Assault/Sexual Harassment tutors, to counselors from the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, to my attorney. I’m exhausted from asking for extensions because of “personal issues.” I’m exhausted from avoiding the laundry room, the House library and the mailroom because I’m scared of who I will run into."
In the letter, the student asks the school to reexamine the 20-year-old policies on sexual assault and give the administration extensive training and guidelines for handling similar situations in the future.
"If my resident dean refuses to question the current policy we have in place, then I will. Dear Harvard: You might have won, but I still have a voice. And I plan on using it as much as I can to make things change."