Oh, the infamous fuckboi. We wish we could tell you that they’re easy to spot; that they all wear the same Adidas sandals or share a similar hairstyle. Unfortunately for us, the fuckboi is a master of camouflage. It knows how to blend into its surroundings, tricking us into thinking that it’s just a regular “nice” guy, when it’s actually a venomous creature who, before we know it, will end up sleeping with the next girl that walks by. Never fear, collegiettes! We’ve compiled a list of red flags to help you spot them in their natural habitat before it’s too late.
You know he’s fuckboi if…
He has no respect for women
The fuckboi is composed of white male privilege with just a sprinkle of misogyny. He has no respect for women unless it’s physically. If he gives you a compliment, it’s going to be about your appearance, because he’s more interested in your body than your brains. Other than that, he has no regard for your personal strength and talents as a woman. Aside from disrespecting you, he also has no respect for other women. If you notice him talking down to your friends, bashing on his mom or being rude to a waitress, it’s a sure sign that he’s a problem.
“This guy really wanted to date me,” says Amanda, a junior at Fairfield University. “But whenever I went out with him, I noticed that he was rude to so many women that wouldn’t be considered stereotypically ‘hot.’ He would be super sweet to my blonde, leggy friends and total trash to my friends that were bookish. The same went for women in retail stores or the service industry. It revealed a lot about his character!”
Ladies, if a man is ever judgmental and sexist, you turn the other way and run. A suitable partner is going to have a kind nature and a genuine interest in who you are as a person. Your relationship #goals are not going to involve a fuckboi.
His ego is enormous
You’re probably familiar with the many Instagram mirror selfies of his abs. His favorite conversation topics are bragging about sex or getting drunk. He always looks like he spent more time on his hair than you did. Basically, it’s easy to tell that the fuckboi is all about himself.
“This fuck boy was just so convinced I was in love with him, and we’d never even dated or hooked up,” says Amanda, a sophomore at Marymount University. "He just assumed that everybody thought he was the shit. Goes to show you that fuck boys have the BIGGEST egos.”
It’s pretty common for fuckbois to have an inflated image of just how amazing they are, which is why they end up taking advantage of people. Remember everyone, there is an ocean of difference between being confident and flat out pretentious, and it’s the pretentious ones we want to avoid like the plague.
Related: Why It’s Okay to Hate the Idea of Hookup Culture
He does whatever it takes to benefit himself
While he may not be familiar with the concept of hard work, he’s definitely worked hard to make sure that everything goes exactly the way he wants. In his entitled mindset he’s convinced himself he automatically deserves the very best of everything. You said no to meeting up at 2 a.m.? He’ll guilt trip you into it. He’s making a huge mess of his future? Don’t worry, he’ll leave it to his parents to take care of. He’s the master manipulator of life to ensure that he’s consistently successful and popular.
However, the fuckboi is also incredibly fragile. While he may be quick step on people for his happiness, when something doesn’t go his way, he just can’t deal. He will play the victim card, manipulate and seduce his way back to the top of the food chain. Beware, you may be just another pawn in the way of his goals (aka sex, and maybe some wealth and popularity).
His number one priority is sex
You can often find him leering at women. He’ll promise you more and make you feel special, but the fuckboi is strictly into sexual relationships. If he gives you affection it’s only to get pics or a hook-up, and even if your fling ends he will always come crawling back to you whenever he’s horny AF. Not to mention this guy probably has multiple baes and a dating app on his phone.
“A boy that I had been hooking up with for a while brought me back to his room when I got sick one night,” says Emily* a junior at Northwestern University. “Then, once I had passed out, he invited another girl over and they hooked up while I was sleeping on the couch in the same room.”
This is definitely the telltale sign that someone is the ultimate fuckboi. While women are happy, sexual creatures too, these guys take it way too far and make sex into blatant objectification. Avoid sleeping with him, since you’ll just be another woman on the long list who's made that mistake.
Related: The College Girl’s Unofficial Guide to Sexing
Here’s how to deal
This type of guy clearly has an allure since so many women continually fall for him. The signs above may be harder to detect until you’ve actually hooked up with or spent time around him, but if you ask around or even do some social media stalking, his fixation with sex and his inflated ego will soon become obvious. You’re smart, and even his subtle and immediately noticeable flaws or womanizing reputation are a greater hint at the truth you already know: he’s a fuckboi. He will try to charm you with kind words, taking you out, telling you he’s different and acting really fun to be around. Be speculative about the pretty face he puts on.
Don’t feel bad for him. “Fuckboi” may be a pretty harsh word to slam guys with, but there shouldn’t be sympathy for men who walk all over people for sex and personal benefit. The fuckboi is immature and misogynistic, and a complete waste of your time.
Don’t give into his charms. He knows how to be charismatic and endearing, and that’s why the plague of this type of man is currently upon us. Without setting him off, you can distance yourself. You don’t need to answer his texts or sexual solicitations. Don’t get caught up in thinking you can “change” him. No need to check in on him every once in a while to make sure you guys are still “cool.” In fact, you don’t even need to try to be his friend, because that puts you in a position to be taken advantage of. Avoid him all together—it’s for the best. We cannot let the fuckboi be the new romance of our generation.
*Name has been changed