Since elementary school we, as students, have been told that the ideal report card we should strive for is straight As. For all four years of high school and even now, I still try to live up to that sentiment. It’s a habit. I don’t have anything against my fifth grade teachers, but I don’t agree anymore. Don’t get me wrong, my issue is not with the grading system. My issue is with the way grades are interpreted. Grades can only tell someone a few things about you.

1. How well you colored inside the lines

Did you cite only 10 sources, and no more, no less? Was your presentation exactly between 4-6 minutes? Is your work shown to see how you got that answer, even the simplest parts? It is valuable to know how to work within guidelines; however, this shows compliance, not knowledge.

2. How well you met the teacher’s standards

Does this teacher like or dislike figurative language? Do they have more appreciation for graphs and stats or testimonies and case studies? Teachers are people; they have biases and beliefs that you can’t change. They don’t have to meet you halfway; you go by what they like/dislike because, ultimately, they have all the power.

3. How well you perform in class

There are many people who know and understand so much about a topic that they could teach it themselves, but they would never want to. Many classes include participation, attendance and other non-academic factors into the grading scales.

You should go to class, but rules like, “You must speak up at least three times a session” hinder students who excel in their work but aren’t comfortable discussing or debating. In classes that call for that, it’s reasonable, but in others it’s just another box to check off – if someone is pushed into a corner like that then they’ll give the bare minimum to get out. There’s no benefit.

As helpful as grades can be to show progression, grades don’t show these aspects.

4. Your effort 

Throughout high school, I knew people who studied daily, went to tutoring and did so much more than the rest us and still received Bs or Cs on their work. They did everything that “Get Better Grades” tip lists told them but they still didn’t get As. That doesn’t take anything away from them or make them stupid. In fact, those B students could tell you a lot more about Chemistry than I ever could.

5. Your intelligence

Most grading scales describe a C as average, and a B above average and an A as excellent. You are a not a grade. You are not a grade. You are not average, or above average because of the grades you got sophomore year.

You do not become less of a person because of the grade you got on a paper. You should always try your best and use all of your potential, but just because it doesn’t result in an A doesn’t mean you failed.

6. Your future

Grades determine GPAs, which are a factor in applying for colleges. However, your grades don’t design your future. It’s heartbreaking to hear teachers tell a student that they will amount to nothing because of grades.

No one can look at your grades and tell you where you’re going to be ten or even five years down the road.  The colorful sheets of paper that say Principal’s Honor Roll don’t come with a guarantee that those students who receive them will be successful in their education or careers. Your future is your future and you are the deciding factor in how it turns out.

If you want that A, then work for it, but also realize that if it doesn’t happen your future can still be bright.  

Last night, over 12 million people tuned in to Grease: Live and it's safe to say the FOX musical was a complete success. From stellar dance moves to stunning solo performances (we're looking at you, Vanessa Hudgens), Grease: Live gave us ALL of the feels. While the whole cast was simply amazing, we can't stop thinking about Aaron Tveit's performance as Danny Zuko. With perfectly styled hair, a leather jacket and fantastic dance moves, what more could we ask for? Needless to say, this was basically us whenever Aaron Tveit appeared on our TVs:

If you're still drooling over Aaron, feel free to relive some of his most swoon-worthy Grease: Live moments below! 

When the show began and we secretly wished that he was kissing us instead

Or when he started recalling those summer nights to his fellow T-birds

And when Danny walked into the gym wearing those incredibly short shorts (no complaints here!)

Apparently we weren't the only ones obsesssed with those shorts…

When he hit those high notes at the drive-in movie and basically melted our hearts

And how adorable was that bromance between Danny and Kenicke??

Or that time he was in the car race and his biceps were on full display 

And let's not forget those pelvic thrusts that still have everyone freaking out

And how about those other sweet dance moves 

Basically, Aaron had us wishing we were hand jiving next to him the entire time. 

If you missed the show (or simply want to rewatch it), check it out over here!

Two Virginia Tech students, Natalie M. Keepers and David E. Eisenhauer, have been charged in connection to the alleged murder of 13-year-old Nicole Lovell, who lived in Blacksburg, Va. Eisenhauer was charged with murder and felony abduction, while Keepers assisted him. 

The arrest of Keepers came quickly after police arrested 18-year-old student athlete Eisenhauer for the abduction of Lovell. The middle schooler disappeared from her home last Wednesday and was missing for four days before Eisenhauer was arrested in his dorm on Saturday. Just hours after his arrest, Lovell's body and remains were found in Surry County, N.C., and Eisenhauer was immediately charged with first-degree murder. A motive has not yet been determined. 

Eisenhauer was a member of the Virginia Tech track team and was a top high school runner in Maryland.

"We're all just in utter shock," Joe Keating, one of Eisenhauer's former high school teammates, told The Washington Post. "We can't get our heads around it."

According to the Blacksburg Police Department and USA Today, Lovell and Eiserhauer knew each other prior to the murder and they claimed that Eisenhauer "used this relationship to his advantage to abduct the 13-year-old and then kill her." Lovell's family members discovered a piece of furniture pushed up against her bedroom door and suspected that she climbed out of her window. 

Officials were able to make such a quick arrest of Eisenhauer because of the outpour of support and tips from members of the community.

"The entire Virginia Tech community extends its support to Nicole's family and friends," the Virginia Tech Police Department said in a statement. "The university is also reaching out to our campus community and the greater New River Valley community who may be affected by the events that have occurred over the past several days."

Keepers and Eisenhauer are currently being held in jail without bond.

Move over Drake—The University of Delaware campus police officers are offering up some stiff competition. The officers at the university released a parody of Drake’s recent hit “Hotline Bling” to wide acclaim on Friday. Their version, “Copline Bling,” Has already garnered nearly 850,000 views on Facebook.

One thing’s for sure, this campaign has succeeded in making it cool to call public safety on the “blue phone whenever you need (their) help.” Their impressions are pretty spot on, and even the school's blue cardinal mascot and a pup from the K-9 unit made cameos. Here’s hoping that this good-natured police force doesn’t get “memeified” as much as Drake. 

In honor of our favorite good-boy-turned-bad's birthday, we're celebrating his best moments! Even if you aren't necessarily a One Direction fan, you can definitely still appreciate Harry Styles and his perfection.

1. When he took biting his lip to a whole new level

2. When we all knew he was looking right at us during his performance

3. When he was a total hipster and we shamelessly loved it

4. When he made us want to spend a 10-hour flight next to him

5. When he pulled the best funny face

6. When we wanted him to drag us down

7. When he totally rocked this wild pattern

8. When he made us want to go on a camping trip with him

9. When his serious face was too much

10. When he was so into the music

11. When his smile made us melt

12. When he worked the suit and tie

13. When the man bun was real

14. When his confused face was our fave

15. When his candids were on point (and he could rock a bandana as a necklace)

16. When he failed at disgusing his smirk

17. When we were so close, yet so far

Happy birthday, Harry! We hope you have an amazing day!

We all have our favorite breakfast foods: pancakes, eggs, waffles...you name it. But the one amazing food we can all agree tops the charts in deliciousness is bacon. Everything about it is so perfect, from its crispy crunch to its potent scent. Everyone loves bacon. Bacon is a gift from the heavens. Naturally, some people like bacon more than others... and you just might be one of those people. If you can relate to any one of these signs, well... there's a strong possibility that you are, in fact, in a relationship with bacon.

1. Everything you order at a restaurant has to have bacon on it

2. Nothing gets you out of bed quicker than the smell of bacon in the morning

3. You’re known at breakfast restaurants for ordering multiples sides of bacon

4. You would totally buy a bacon-scented candle... or five

5. The only reason you’re excited to see a salad bar is because you can just get a heaping plate of crumbled bacon

6. You’re very particular about the way you prefer to have it cooked (extra crispy, super floppy, etc.) but you'll honestly eat it no matter what

7. You’re all about sweets involving bacon—bacon glazed donut? Sign me up

8. When people ask you what three things you would bring on a deserted island, you always count bacon as one of those ~crucial~ items

9. People have called you out on your addiction more than once

10. You understand that Canadian bacon is just not bacon, and anyone who says so is wrong

11. If you were given the option to be queen of the world or have access to unlimited bacon, you would choose bacon

12. You daydream about bacon

13. Your favorite animal is a pig, not because they’re cute, but because…bacon

14. Your open to bacon of all kinds: fried, covered in chocolate, chopped into baby pieces…you aren’t biased

15. If you were given the opportunity to marry bacon, you 100-percent would

Love is absolutely beautiful. Seeing happy couples gives me hope for humanity. Nevertheless, some individuals are meant to stay that way -- individual. So many ladies feel the need to anchor one man and never let him go. They get burnt out, struggling to keep a “perfect” relationship afloat when it should be simpler than that.

If your friends won’t cease setting you up with their classmates and you avoid your Aunt Gertrude at family gatherings to dodge love life questions, it’s time to break out the reasons why you don’t have a boyfriend (and don’t really need one).

1. I’m great

Just like Hailee Steinfeld, I’m gonna love myself and I don’t need anybody else.

2. I'm too busy creating my empire

Cuddling is great, but it tends to distract from becoming a Fortune 500 A-Lister.

3. No one gets my coffee orders right the way I do

Triple-shot grande peppermint mocha frappachino with coconut milk, cocoa shavings and no whip in a venti cup, no dome. It’s a mouthful; I get it. But I also get it right.

4. My dog gets jealous

OG homedog gets priority, always.

5. I have zero trouble reaching the top shelf

I have long arms and legs, and for those tough to reach spots? I can climb a chair.

6. I am I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

As fun as it is to sing a duet, belting a solo in the spotlight is so much more invigorating.

7. Pretending to like things I don’t give a hoot about is exhausting

No more charades! Far gone are the days of cheering on a team in the Superbowl as if I’m not just watching for the commercials and half-time show.

8. Pair activities are complicated

Ice-skating, bicycling, jet skiing: 9 out of 10 times, these are bound to result in competitive hurt feelings or physical pain.

9. I miss the original meaning of Netflix and chill

Snacks, pj’s, messy bun, and four seasons of Grey’s Anatomy? So chill.

10. “Treat yo’self” is my motto

Why rely on someone else to surprise me with little gifts I don’t actually want when I can reward myself with the exact Kate Spade backpack I’ve been eyeing up for months?

11. Sharing food is not fun

This PB&J is 50% all-natural nut butter, 50% organic raspberry jam and 100% ALL MINE.

12. Low-key gender mocking isn’t as romantic as a lot of guys think it to be

I get enough “you run like a girl” remarks from my brother. No need for further sexism.

13. The pickle jar is not that difficult to open

Tap the lid on the counter, grab a hand rag and voila! Open for business.

14. My lunch date schedule is completely booked until June… of next year

It’s not my fault I have too many wonderful friends to see.

15. Color-coordinating my ensemble is hard enough without a whole other person to style

Dressing for myself is better than any arm candy.

16. Keeping things fresh is my favorite pastime

Getting a significant other’s approval before dying my hair or tattooing my ankle sounds like the opposite of spontaneity.

17. Nothing beats riding solo

Cruising with the top up to keep my blowout coifed and blasting One Direction with no shame trumps sleepy small talk.

18. My parents alone are a handful without introducing in-laws

While many in-laws are lovely people, the pressure to be the parents’ ideal of the perfect girlfriend can lead to anxiety and early onset crow’s feet.

19. No strings attached

Let’s be wild and free while we’re young.

20. I wear makeup for myself

Walk past a mirror, give yourself a wink and strut away like the cover girl you are.

21. Photo booths make for better shoots with more space for creative freedom

This frame is too fierce for more than one model.

22. My remote, my rules

Let me enjoy Katherine Heigl and all of her rom-com mushiness without any snarky remarks.

23. This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us

I’m a big fan of the acrobatic starfish pose when sleeping.

24. No one gives hugs like granny

Who needs a boyfriend when the best hugger also bakes you cookies and slips you five dollars every time you see her?

25. It’s amazing how much work can be done in a library without distractions

The history section isn’t just for secret dates between classes anymore.

26. Valentine’s Day? More like Galentine’s Day

Nothing tops the love of a sister from another mister.

27. Girls run the world

Not that we’re seeking attention, but if stepping out with a confident line of fabulous ladies means all eyes on us, better embrace it. Hey, wassup, hello.

28. Call me Audrey

She way coy, shrouded in mystery and always up for adventure. Like Ms. Hepburn said, “I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it.” With friends, family, and the many passions in my life, there is simply too much love to share to only give it all to one person.

When you’re single AF or going through a rough patch in your relationship, it's easy to blame yourself for everything you think has sabotaged your love life. Although it's probably due to circumstances and not your fault at all (because you’re a super dope human being, obv), there are a few things you might be doing to hurt your relationships. HC is here to talk you through these rookie mistakes and help you avoid them.

1. You stalk your crush or your ex on social media

At this point, none of us is trying to deny that we stalk people on social media. In fact, many collegiettes’ ability to find out anything about anyone is more a source of pride than it is a shameful secret. So naturally, when you have a new crush, your first reflex is to search for him or her on Facebook (that “recent searches” function is killing us). What’s the harm in finding out cute people’s hobbies? Or your mutual friends? It’s not like you’re digging up their blood type and social security number. But your stalking patterns, besides potentially endangering your mental health, can have some unpleasant consequences for your love life.

“Instead of talking and communicating face to face or on the phone with this person to learn about them, you start getting all your knowledge about them via social media,” says Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and personal image consultant. “This can hurt the way you interact with them when you do speak.”

Stalking your ex is another easy trap to fall into. In this case, you already know the person and you’re likely looking for one of two things: either your ex’s new SO or something embarrassing to laugh about with your friends.

“I seriously stalked my ex for two months after our thing ended and would stalk all of the girls he was in pictures with just to see if they were dating,” says Noëmie Carrant, a senior at Boston University. Noëmie is all of us. Toning down the social media stalking can be difficult to do, but if you at least keep in mind how it could damage your relationships (or potential relationships), you might think twice before scrolling back to your crush circa 2012.

Related: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your SO (If You Want Things To Last)

2. You don’t trust your SO

You’ve heard it before: relationships are built on trust. So what exactly happens when you decide you can’t trust your SO for no apparent reason? Well, a lot of misunderstandings.

“One time I scrolled down my boyfriend's Twitter for so long that I thought he was cheating on me,” says Kenya Hunter, a sophomore at Brenau University. “But I had just scrolled down to 2013 when he was in a relationship. I was so embarrassed at myself because I was ready to end it.” Obviously, there are sometimes legitimate reasons for not trusting someone, but you should always communicate with your SO before lashing out at him or her.

“You may read into something [on social media or IRL] and not have any context surrounding it, which then may lead you to accuse or lash out,” Steinberg says. “Psychologically, [it] can send your mind spinning, creating all sorts of scenarios in your head about what's happening. And then you start feeling the need to check up on [your SO] more and more, and it becomes an emotional roller coaster, an addiction of sorts.”

If you think you have reason to doubt your partner, be sure to talk it out with him or her before reaching any hasty conclusions that you might regret later.

3. You play games

We’ve all waited a little too long to answer a text or posted a Snap story to make someone jealous, but playing games can quickly get out of hand and hurt you and your love life more than you think. “I was in an open long-distance relationship with this guy for several months,” Noëmie says. “We were both clearly very much into each other but wouldn't admit it because of the distance, so we would mutually have flings with other people and tell each other about it in great detail just to get a reaction out of the other person.” Inevitably, both Noëmie and her guy ended up getting hurt.

For Steinberg, “Women engage in game-playing because of two reasons: 1) They are told they need to do this to get the guy; otherwise, they risk scaring him off. 2) Their own insecurities are at work. If they show their affection too soon, if they respond too quickly, etc., that will show they are too needy, for example. So they engage in the type of behavior that they think the man will want or what they think will get the guy to like them more.” The truth is, no good ever comes out of playing games—just be yourself.

4. You hold onto a relationship that’s not working

Whether you’ve been with your SO for a long time or you just like someone more than he or she likes you, sometimes you have to know when it’s time for you to part ways.

“When I was abroad, I was holding onto texts and calls from my (now) ex even though I realized we were drifting apart,” says Rachel Petty, a junior at James Madison University. “This ultimately made things worse when we broke up!”

It’s completely natural to want to make things work! Zoe*, a recent graduate of the University of California, Los Angeles, can relate in more ways than one. “I stayed trying to save a relationship that was long gone and it ate away at my heart and my self-esteem,” Zoe says. “I also stayed in [another] relationship for too long that I knew was negative and I was losing myself over in the hope that it would get better.”

Not wanting to let go of someone who is a big part of your life is one thing, but if the other person is actually not into you, this could be a bigger problem. “In general, holding onto someone who doesn't like you in that way stems from deep-seated insecurities,” Steinberg says. “It's almost like you begin to try to PROVE to the person that you are good enough, that if you finally do win the person over, well, then that will FINALLY validate you and prove you are good enough.” Spoiler alert: you are good enough.

5. You put your SO’s needs before your own

Under the guise of being a caring girlfriend, you might sometimes unintentionally undermine yourself. “I put my [significant] other first over myself and put his feelings on a higher pedestal than my own for fear of hurting him and wanting to take care of him, when you should always take care of yourself first,” Zoe says—and she’s so right.

To be happy in a relationship and with yourself, you have to be comfortable with who you are and in touch with your own needs. It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes (or most of the time)—it will benefit you and your SO in time.

Dating in college is difficult enough without making these seemingly innocuous mistakes, and being aware that some of your habits are hurting your love life is the first step to a healthy relationship. You’ve got this, collegiettes!

*Name has been changed.

Valentine's Day is all candy hearts, Cupid and PDA — at least, if you ask taken people (and really, aren't they the worst kind?). Let's get real: Valentine's Day is WAY more than nomming on chocolates and asking yourself how you got so lucky to be in love. Want the real story? Ask a single girl. These are the true stages of Valentine's Day, as told by single ladies (the ones who really get what's going on here).

1. Spring semester starts off so well — you're finally back on campus with the girls, single and *~~loving it~~*

2. Seriously, there's never been a better time to be single in the history of ever.You don't even realize you're being lulled into a false sense of security!

3. And then suddenly you start seeing pink and red hearts in CVS, and the Internet is blowing up about #ValentinesDay.

Are we really going to do this now?

4. You're really good at hiding your thoughts on the matter.

JK, you couldn't keep quiet if your life depended on it.

5. At first your confidence pumps into overdrive. Who needs love anyway? You've got your friends, Nutella and most importantly, Netflix.

6. …But then you realize everyone is making plans for the big day. Best of all? They won't stop talking about it.

7. When they do finally take a breath, they ask you how you're feeling.

And you're like, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was coming down with a serious case of Single-itis. Thanks for checking on me every five minutes, guys! Super helpful!

8. Even worse, your roommate's boyfriend is feeling all the feels.

No. No. PLEASE don't go on all night…
…He does, though. Obviously.

9. You start to question everything.Will you be single forever? Is it a bad sign that you love looking at cat pictures? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

10. Why does this holiday even exist?!

11. You decide it's time to take action. It's Friday night, and time is running out — the hunt for Mr. Valentine is on.

12. There are like 50 bajillion PDA couples in your way all night.

Don't they know this bar is for singles only?!

13. FINALLY, you spot some gorgeous man across the room. Now that's the V-Day candy you were looking for!

14. …But then he speaks.

Oh, right — that's why you wanted to be single in the first place, duh.

15. The big day arrives. Valentine's Day is here!

Singles Awareness Day has never been so real.

16. But wait — it's not too late to celebrate Galentine's Day! Okay so that was supposed to be yesterday, but you were busy hunting valentines, obviously.

17. What's so wrong with friends, Nutella and Netflix anyway? TBH that sounds WAY better than romance, candlelight and uncomfortably tight date dresses.

18. You and your fellow single besties proceed to watch chick flick after chick flick.

Why didn't you think of this before?!

19. You're also defying all stereotypes by not eating Ben & Jerry's, so you're definitely in the clear… LOL JK you've eaten a whole pint #sorrynotsorry.

20. You remember that tomorrow is just another day — a day when you can look at cat pictures again without feeling an impending sense of doom. And they're so freaking cute!

THEY'RE JUST SO FLUFFY WHY COULDN'T THEY BE YOUR VALENTINES?!

21. And then the realization hits: It'll be another year before happy couples can show off again. Tomorrow, your single lady reign begins again!

This season of The Bachelor just got real. We can’t be the only ones still reeling from last night’s episode, which saw Ben sending Jubilee home during the group date. Sure, we were hurt, but when Ben decided to give the group date rose to none other than Olivia, we’d had enough.

Jubilee has been a favorite since the beginning of the season. She’s definitely exhibited a bit of awkwardness here and there but nothing any worse than what we’ve seen the rest of the women do during their inductions into Bachelor Nation.

From day one, Jubilee’s statements were often misconstrued by the other women—like when she asked if anyone else wanted to take her one-on-one with Ben since it involved a helicopter ride. But in case you haven’t noticed, there’s this little thing called sarcasm that we—just like Jubilee—employ on a regular basis.

Things turned especially grim for Jubilee this week when she shied away from many of the group date activities. Hey, we wouldn’t want to hear a guy whisper sweet nothings in our ear during a beginners’ Spanish class either—especially knowing that he said the same thing to four other women already. (We’re suddenly transported to a very yucky memory from high school.)

Jubilee was again quiet and focused as she participated in the group date cooking challenge with her partner, Lauren B. Turns out, her silent determination won her the contest…but somehow lost her Ben’s heart.

Granted Ben’s interactions with Jubilee grew increasingly icy as the evening went on, but we were blindsided when Ben decided to send Jubilee home during the group date. Her insecurities were mounting and definitely rearing their ugly heads, but we can’t say we wouldn’t feel the same way given the situation. Perhaps, Ben was simply tired of reassuring Jubilee and would rather give the group date rose to someone who’d really appreciate it.

Of course, if he’d given said rose to any woman but Olivia, we would have recovered—ego slightly bruised by Jubilee’s dismissal but willing to move on without her. That’s not exactly what happened, though. Olivia was instantly—pardon the pun—jubilant over the thought of sticking around another week to let her love story with Ben play out. She commenced with rubbing her victory in the face of every woman there and bullying Amanda, Emily and others into tears and fits of warranted snark.

We totally understand that Ben somehow hasn’t seen this side to Olivia, but the simple fact that he wouldn’t hold her hand as she walked down the stairs at the cocktail party or how he kind of cringed when she gave him a (promise?) ring says it all, right? At this point in the game, it seems Ben is more reluctant to stroke a girl’s ego than he is to deal with her incessant cray. Coming on too strong? Ben’s okay with that. Admitting that you’re not 100% into yourself all the time? Ben cannot handle that truth.

Just weeks ago, we saw the same thing happen with Lace. Now Jubilee is certainly not the level of insecure that Lace was, but Ben definitely had a problem with Lace’s emotional issues. Had she not left the competition on her own, is there any question he would’ve sent her home the moment he couldn’t take any more of her “whining”?

We thought we moved past the idea of women being completely perfect specimens a while ago. Heads up—we’re complex messes sometimes; other times, we couldn’t be happier with ourselves.

If the end of last night’s episode is any indication, Olivia’s number might finally be up next week. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see if it’s her mistreatment of the remaining women or Ben’s sneaking suspicion that she might not be all she’s cracked up to be that sends her packing.

This article has been syndicated to Her Campus from Stnkrbug by Kendra Stricklin, a Her Campus Blogger Network member. Read the full post here.

Loving yourself does not come easy. It’s something that I’ve always wanted, but have never felt like I had the ability to do. Because of this, one of my goals for 2015 was to learn how to love myself. I knew it would be hard, but I at least wanted to try.

I have never felt comfortable in my own skin, and I always compared myself to others. Negative thoughts constantly filled my head. I’ve always been insecure about my body, and myself in general. 

My journey to self-love was a long and hard one, as they so often are. It’s hard to love yourself when there are people telling you that you won’t amount to anything, that you aren’t anything special, or that you’re ugly. We’re all special in our own ways, and you get to decide how far you go in life—it's not up to those other people.

Loving yourself is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. It takes a lot of time and effort, but the best relationships do. Start with small things, and work up to the bigger and more difficult ones. And remember that you are beautiful—percieved flaws included.

Read the full post here.

So you want to buy a sex toy, but you’re a little unfamiliar with the process. You’ve heard of vibrators and strap-ons, but you don’t really know the difference, and you don’t exactly know where to start. Sex toys are so personal and there is such a wide variety available that it’s impossible to cover everything. But we’re dedicated to giving you a basic guide to sex toys for queer women, so that you know how and where to start looking even if you’re inexperienced.

Where to find sex toys

There are plenty places where you can purchase sex toys, including online at Amazon or a specialty shop, at a local Spencer’s Gifts, in sex toy shops and through sex toy party companies such as Pure Romance.

Depending on your location, there are probably local sex toy stores that mainly focus on selling items for sexual pleasure, for both individuals and couples. Good Vibrations is a sex toy chain that also has a website, so if there isn’t a location close to you, you can still purchase online.

What can you expect when you go into a sex toy store to shop?

The staff are used to people asking questions and are generally willing to help you find what you’re looking for, but they’ll also leave you alone if you just want to browse. They won’t make you feel awkward or judge your choices.

“It was much better than buying sex toys at places that don’t cater [only] to sex toys,” says Emily*, a recent graduate of Emerson College, about her experience with sex toy shops. “The only reason to be in there was to shop for sex, so it wasn’t nearly as embarrassing.”

Angela*, a senior at Westfield State University, admits that it can be hard to shop in a sex toy store the first time, but this is how she prefers to shop for sex toys. “It feels strange but both times I forced myself to be extra confident and nonchalant because I think that's how it should be,” she says. “We're too shameful about sex and our sexuality, women in particular.”

What if you prefer to buy online?

Additionally, you can find sex toys online, especially if you don’t need someone to answer your questions in person, and you feel you have done enough research to know what to look for—or if you're simply too embarassed to try out a sex toy shop at the moment.

Other than Good Vibrations, there’s also Jack and Jill, Liberator, and She Bop, which is a very female-positive store for all body types. Smitten Kitten and Babeland also offer a wide variety and are LGBTQ+-inclusive. Google is your best friend in this case, because it can lead you to all online storefronts that specialize in sex toys, as well as stores that sell them as only a part of their inventory, like Amazon.

What kinds of toys exist, and what do they do?

There are too many variations and types of sex toys that exist to name them all, but queer ladies often use vibrators, dildos, strap-ons (which is a harness used in conjunction with a vibrator or dildo), vibrating rings, lube and miscellaneous toys, such as handcuffs, blindfolds, ticklers and more.

Dildos

Dildos are essentially meant to pleasure a woman who wants to be penetrated. Unlike vibrators, which vibrate (obviously), dildos tend to stand on their own. They can also be used with strap-on harnesses that one partner wears. You can also find double-ended dildos for situations where both partners want penetration at the same time. 

“Dildos can reach places a hand may not be able to,” says Angela, who often uses a jackrabbit style vibrator, which is designed for both internal pleasure and G-spot stimulation simultaneously.

Vibrators

Vibrators are often used for a lady who wants to be penetrated, but can also be used for clitoral stimulation. They come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, each with a specific intent. Some are meant to be larger, while others are more focused on pleasuring the G spot. You can also find vibrators (and dildos) that are designed for anal penetration specifically, if that’s something you want to try.

Toys for Miscellaneous Use

In addition, there are also vibrating rings that can be worn on fingers for sexual stimulation, along with sex toys that are designed to set a mood rather than for direct stimulation. Handcuffs, blindfolds and ticklers all fall under this category.

“Are you into super soft touches?” asks Dannielle Owens-Reid, the co-founder and CEO of Radimo, a collective of writers that is launching a new gender-neutral clothing line. “Try a tickler. Are you into being scared? Blindfold yourself and have your partner be completely silent, so you have no idea when something is going to happen.”

Many sex toys are more about the mood that’s being created between the people using them than anything else. “I like handcuffs because you can be either dominant or submissive, and it’s more clear who has what role,” says Ashley*, a senior at Johns Hopkins University. “It’s great for sexual teasing and foreplay, because you have control over the other person if they’re in handcuffs.”

Variations on vibrators, such as remote-controlled vibrating underwear, can also be a great experience if you’re into control play with your partner. “I’ve never tried it in public because I’m too nervous,” says Holly*, a recent graduate of Johnson and Wales University. “We have the one that has a ring and [my partner] can control it, but I’m too scared to take it out of the house.”

There’s more to sex toys than just their basic functions—and that makes experimenting even more exciting, whether you’re doing so alone or with a partner.

Who can use vibrators and dildos?

The great thing about vibrators and dildos is that they aren’t inherently gendered. Although this is a guide aimed at queer women, it doesn’t matter what your sex and gender identity are—anyone can use a vibrator or a dildo if they want, when they want, with no gender role expectations attached. Many people think that vibrators and dildos are supposed to "take the place" of a penis, but this isn't true. Two women can enjoy the use of a vibe or a dildo without one person taking the role of the man. Many opposite sex and same-sex male couples use vibrators and dildos in sex play as well. 

Owens-Reid says that sex toys are a useful for more than just their basic functions, but also their place in the overall experience. “I think sex toys are more than just the toy itself,” says Owens-Reid. “There's an entire mood shift once you're including something other than just two humans.”

You can also purchase a harness, often referred to as a “strap-on,” to use along with a vibrator or dildo. Owens-Reid recommends Spare Parts harnesses and warns that nylon harnesses tend to be looser and not inclusive of all body types.

Are sex toys safe?

Christina Spaccavento, a sex therapist and relationship specialist, warns people to take caution when it comes to safety and sex toys. “Always remember that when purchasing sex toys they must be non-toxic and phalate-free,” she says, “and when using lubricants, water-based is best.” Using silicone lube on silicone toys can wear them down and make the sex toy more prone to passing diseases and STIs. 

It’s important to know what kind of lubes work with the sex toys you’re buying, as well, and to take care of your toys—wash them regularly according to the included instructions. If you’re using them with multiple partners, you can also use condoms to protect dildos and vibrators from spreading STIs and general bacteria.

How do you choose a sex toy?

Making decisions about what sex toys to buy can be daunting, especially if you don’t have much experience, or any at all.“I would take note of the things you like when you're not including toys and see what is super close in the store,” Owens-Reid suggest.

If you notice that you’re a huge fan of G-spot stimulation on your own or with a partner, look out for a dildo or vibrator that’s designed for that. You can try to get a sense for what pleases and excites you. You can also do research, and read or watch video reviews of sex toys you’re considering buying. You can look for video reviews on YouTube. 

It’s also a great idea to start simple and go from there, especially if you’re new to using sex toys. “I recommend exploring the different toys that are available by starting with the more simple options, for example, a small palm-sized vibrator and a dildo,” Spaccavento says. “Once you feel comfortable with the simpler options you can then move on to more complex or specific toys.”

If you’re afraid of buying a toy you don’t like, don’t worry so much. Many people find themselves unsatisfied with a toy, but think of it as a learning experience. “Don't feel bad if it doesn't work out. It was not a waste of money,” says Owens-Reid. “You're talking about sex that you're going to have for the rest of your life. If you try a toy and find out you hate it, that is a great thing to know.”

Emily’s first experience buying a vibrator wasn’t what she expected. “I was too embarrassed to really look at all the options, so I picked the simplest one,” she says. “I learned what specifically I didn’t like and my first experience also kind of got rid of some of the embarrassment associated with sex toy shopping.”

There’s nothing wrong with trial and error when it comes to shopping for sex toys. You’ll find out what works for you—and for your partner, if you have one—soon enough. There’s no way to find out unless you experiment!

A new generation of gun owners is emerging but we don’t hear enough about them. They’re younger, more diverse, and… female.  

The fresh faces of young armed women provide new energy and a different perspective in the debate against gun-control legislation. 

The White House and Democratic candidates insist on restricting our gun rights but Americans continue to buy guns and ammunition in droves. This trend includes young women applying for their concealed carry license, purchasing firearms and taking classes to educate themselves. In fact, more  women than ever before are gun owners and protection is the primary reason they are learning to shoot.

They are daughters, students, single moms and young professionals.

They are the next generation of Second Amendment activists advocating for gun rights within their communities and on campus.

They are celebrities like Angelina Jolie who in 2008 told The Daily Mail, "If anybody comes into my home and tries to hurt my kids, I've no problem shooting them."

They are responsible gun owners who refuse to be victims.

While it’s true that most gun owners are still white males over 55, many of the shooters I see at shooting ranges are young professionals — millennials and Gen X'ers.

In an effort to empower the next wave of gun rights advocates the NRA has developed a comprehensive program for college students called "NRA University" or NRA U.

According to their website, “NRA U is a two-hour training seminar for college students interested in learning more about NRA, the Second Amendment, gun safety, legislative threats to gun rights and the gun control debate.”

Technology and social media have also played a critical role in reaching out to a more diverse audience. Manufacturers have developed products that  appeal  to women such as compact handguns that are designed to fit smaller hands and are more concealable. Ranges are transforming their experiences to engage a younger audience by creating high-tech advanced indoor shooting facilities that provide instant feedback with each shot. These live fire lanes are interactive video targets designed to sharpen tactical skills and deliver it in a futuristic social environment. I call them adult playgrounds but their goal is to attract a new face of gun ownership in America—millennials.

Shooting—like working out, eating healthy and Apple products—has become part of my lifestyle. YouTube celebrities Colion Noir and Dana Loesch provide engaging content online that tie this lifestyle together and help you learn more about the growing industry of clothing, accessories, handbags and holsters that make carrying easier and safer than ever. 

My boyfriend encouraged me to arm and defend myself so I would not become a victim. I’m reminded by many recent acts of violence around the world why it’s important defend our rights and challenge the gun-control narrative.

A rape victim who was attacked in 2006 while at Colorado College  questioned President Obama about his executive actions on his gun control agenda. He said, “you have to be pretty well trained in order to fire a weapon against somebody who is assaulting you.”  It sounded like Obama was telling this young mom that girls don’t know how to use guns.

That comment sparked a discussion about our right to defend ourselves but it also revealed how Democrats really view women and their role in society.

Safety and security should be the top “women issue.” The only thing that gives any women equal opportunity in a battle between a violent assailant and herself is a firearm.

Make no mistake, just because women wear heels does not mean that they can’t pull a trigger.

They should not be underestimated.  Women run companies, operate vehicles, play sports, perform surgeries, code websites. They are more than capable of using a firearm and shouldn’t let anyone tell them otherwise.  

To be clear, 200,000 women use a gun to protect themselves against sexual abuse per year.

Ladies, are you armed?

If we've learned anything over the past few years, it's that the fashion world continues to break traditional barriers. In 2015, Madeline Stuart, a 19-year-old girl with Down Syndrome, made her modeling debut. Madeline continues to challenge societal views, and she "really wants to change the way people discriminate against disability through gaining attention through social media." Moreover, "she wants people to know that Down Syndrome is a blessing, something to be celebrated." Amidst preparing for her second New York Fashion Week runway show, the Australian model sat down with BuzzFeed to recreate a few iconic Disney princess looks.

Follow Madeline's inspiring journey on Instagram and Twitter!

Whether you and your campus cutie have been going steady since freshman year or you hooked up at a house party last month and have been inseparable ever since, by the time February rolls around, you start feeling the pressure to come up with a fun date idea for you and your crush on Valentine's Day. Don’t fret! Here are six date ideas for Valentine’s Day that are fun and collegiette budget-approved!

Take a dance class together

Ballroom dancing? Yes! Tango for two? Sultry – definitely yes! Irish step? Er… sure, why not? So why not skip the sweaty dance floor in a frat’s basement for once and take a dance class together? You can often find a class to try out together at the gym or on campus with a student group. The workout will get your blood pumping, and even if your crush doesn’t exactly have Justin Timberlake or Taylor Swift's dance moves and you’re tripping over each other's feet – that’s okay! You’ll be having too much fun laughing with each other to care.

Host a picnic… indoors!

It’s absolutely freezing outside, so having a picnic out on the grassy campus lawns is out of the question. So why not bring your blankets indoors? Spread a blanket out on the floor, light some candles (battery-operated ones if you live in a dorm hall that doesn’t allow them) and cook up some food to share. It doesn't have to be fancy, but your S.O. will appreciate something a little more romantic than your Ramen noodles special. It’s way less cheesy (not to mention, cheaper) than the dinner-and-a-movie combo and it’s a good way to enjoy a homemade meal together. Bon appetit!

Stargaze at the planetarium

Ok, we’ll admit that we got a little inspiration for this idea from Friends. And while the rocky relationship between Ross and Rachel isn’t exactly what we’re approving, we think that their first date at a planetarium was still a cool idea. It beats having to get bundled up to sit out in the freezing winter night, but see if you can sneak in a Thermos of hot cocoa to simulate the experience of stargazing outdoors anyway! Many museums, art galleries, and other cultural institutions have reduced (if not free) admission for college students to take advantage of! Some colleges are lucky enough to have a museum on campus, so check one out.

Attend a poetry slam

If you’re dating the angsty artist type, then this is a date that he or she will most definitely appreciate! And even if you two aren't exactly Shakespeare’s biggest fans, these modern day poets who take the stage often take urban themes and translate them into exaggerated, fun and heartfelt performances – so it’s definitely not the snoozefest that your Intro to Poetry class might be! Most likely, one of your favorite local cafes or bookstores will be hosting a poetry slam.

Get a massage together

Stressing over that upcoming midterm? Chances are, your S.O. is stressing about something too (welcome to college!). So why not propose that the two of you unwind with a good massage? Check out health services on your campus to see if they offer massages – some offer them to students and faculty at a much cheaper price than you would find at a spa. If not, look for Groupons and other deals on massages in the neighborhood.

Spend a snow day

Just because we’re responsible, grown-up collegiettes doesn’t mean that we can’t act like little kids every once in a while and what better way to do that than to drag your Valentine’s Day date outdoors for some wintry fun? Did someone say, “Classes are canceled"? Well no, not exactly (V-Day is on a Sunday, anyway!). But you can still spend the day sledding, building snowmen and making snow angels. And if a snow ball fight should happen to ensue and you “just happen” to fall on top of each other… well, you can thank us later.

Donald Trump’s campaign is being accused of sex discrimination, which seems pretty inevitable after the comments he's made about Megyn Kelly, Carly Fiorina and pretty much any other high-profile woman who crosses his path.

Elizabeth Mae Davidson, Trump’s former campaign field organizer in Davenport, Iowa, filed a discrimination complaint saying that men doing the same job as her were paid more and got to take more of a public role during rallies, according to the New York Times. Davidson also reported that she met Trump at a rally last summer he told her and a another female volunteer, “You guys could do a lot of damage,” referring to their looks. Just...ew.

“In a telephone interview on Sunday, Mr. Trump denied making the remark but did not address the other two allegations,” the Times reported.

After Davidson reported problems with the campaign’s senior Iowa leadership to the Times, she was fired on Jan. 14. Davidson says she was fired for making “disparaging comments about senior campaign leaders to third parties” and breaking a nondisclosure clause in her employment contract. She denied ever making negative comments about the campaign.

Davidson filed the complaint on Thursday with the Davenport Civil Rights Commission. Trump said that he didn’t know Davidson, but his staff told him “she did a terrible job.” After the Times article came out, Trump denied knowing anything about Davidson in an interview with The Daily Mail and criticized the Times reporter, Trip Gabriel, as being "a bad guy who only writes negative stories about me."

Davidson's complaint said that in addition to being paid more, men with the same job as her were quoted in news sources without consequence—even though that's what she was fired for. Davidson was was paid $2,000 a month, while men with the same title were paid between $3,500 and $4,000 a month.

Dorothy A. O’Brien, Davidson’s lawyer, said the Davenport civil rights agency would investigate the complaint. A complaint like this could definitely affect the outcome of the primaries—Even Trump thought so.

“A story like this could damage my chances,” he told the Times. Think it had anything to do with his loss in Iowa?

The former Miss Iowa contestant is stirring up some conversation, and rightfully so.

As far as Bachelor contestants go there are always a few special ladies who stand out more than others. The show would not be the same without its fair share of quirky contestants and we wouldn’t have it any other way. But as much as we love these women, we rarely think about their lives beyond the roles they play in Bachelor Nation—especially when it comes to one unforgettable lady. 

Ashley Salter—or, as you probably know her, Ashley S.—is expecting. The onion-obsessed, cat whispering blondie has rekindled an old flame with her college boyfriend, Austin Brannen, after striking out on both Chris Soules season as well as 'Bachelor in Paradise,' and we honestly couldn’t be happier for her. Although Ashley has not validated the news herself, multiple sources have confirmed the rumors and People has even speculated that the baby is a boy!

May he be graced with all the quirks of his mother, and may he have all the onions his little heart desires.

Ariel Winter showed up to the Screen Actors Guild Awards over the weekend in a stunning black gown that was enough to make us drool with fashion envy.

Yet, somehow, all people wanted to point out were the scars on her chest underneath the strapless, floor-length piece. Many made comments questioning whether the visibility of the scars was due to a wardrobe malfunction but, eventually, the commentary got out of hand and crept way too far into body-shaming territory.

When the 18-year-old Modern Family star caught wind of those remarks, she took to Twitter to set the record straight. 

Last year, Winter decided to have breast reduction surgery due to back pain and physical discomfort. Shortly after, she sat down with Glamour to discuss the surgery, claiming that it would probably be the only time she would ever go under the knife but also that she was happy with the decision she'd made.

"I got it for myself," she said. "I can't even really put it into words how amazing it feels to really feel right. This is how I was supposed to be."

No matter what, we'll always support Ariel and her message: that every part of what makes you you is beautiful.

The Iowa caucuses came to a conclusion Tuesday morning, resulting in a win for Ted Cruz and a virtual tie between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. In addition to these victories, there were a few surprises and some candidates even dropped out of the race! If you missed the excitement, here’s a recap of the Iowa caucuses.

Republican Side

Ted Cruz won the caucus race…

With 28 percent of the Republican votes, Ted Cruz beat out the other candidates in Iowa. This was predictable, considering that he has been a frontrunner in the state, especially among Evangelical conservatives.

…But more importantly, Donald Trump lost

Donald Trump came in second among the GOP candidates, gaining 24 percent of the votes. Second isn’t a bad finish, but it isn’t quite what Trump was hoping for. Just a day before the caucuses, Trump announced to a crowd in a middle school gym, “We’re going to win…we’re leading everywhere.” Maybe confidence isn’t key, Donald?

Marco Rubio did way better than expected

Yes, most polls predicted that Marco Rubio would come in third. However, he came much closer to the other two candidates than anyone expected. According to the Washington Post, “polling indicated Rubio would be a distant third, trailing by perhaps double digits.” Instead, Rubio came out with 23 percent of the GOP vote—just one percent behind Trump.

Ben Carson claims that Ted Cruz spread rumors about him

Ben Carson came in at a distant fourth place, winning over only 9 percent of the Iowa voters. Earlier Tuesday, Carson alleged that Ted Cruz began a rumor that his campaign would be suspended after Iowa for a while. This may have convinced voters not to “waste” their votes on Ben Carson. On Tuesday afternoon, Cruz apologized, saying his campaign had seen a report that Carson was dropping out and had updated grassroots leaders. He acknowledged that they should have sent a follow-up email when they found out Carson was not ending his campaign.

Mike Huckabee dropped out of the race

In the midst of the action Monday night, Christian conservative candidate Mike Huckabee dropped out of the 2016 race. He won less than 2 percent of the vote in Iowa. Later on, Donald Trump thanked Huckabee in his post-caucus speech as a friend of his throughout the campaign.

Democratic Side

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders virtually tie in the caucuses

Although Hillary technically won officially on Tuesday morning, this was only by 0.3 percent of the votes—which is an extremely small margin of victory. Bernie and Hillary basically tied in Iowa. The two candidates are so close in the race that no one knows quite yet which one will have the upper hand throughout the rest of the primaries.

Martin O’Malley dropped out of the race

Former Baltimore mayor Martin O’Malley dropped out of the 2016 election after he only managed to win 0.6 percent of the Democratic votes. You gave it your best shot, Martin.

This is just the beginning of the elections for the 2016 presidential nominations. With candidates from both parties competing closely, the fight for the nomination will definitely be hard fought and won.

Plus-size apparel retailer, Lane Bryant, is moving in a chic, game-changing direction. That's because the company just announced they'll be collaborating with fashion students at the Otis College of Art and Design in Los Angeles, CA to create a collection of plus-size work apparel. 

"This collaboration is an important step in our continuing mission to change the conversation regarding plus-size fashion," the company's president and CEO, Linda Heasley, said in a statement. "Working with the future of fashion is incredibly inspiring, and I can't wait for our customers to see what these talented individuals designed."

Last year, Lane Bryant worked with 12 students from the school to collaborate on work-appropriate attire. According to Apparel News, consultants worked with the students, starting from checking out their initial designs to getting said designs onto the runway.

The brand new collection is now on sale, with pieces ranging from $54.95 to $119.95. You can shop the new designs on the Lane Bryant website and at the Del Amo Fashion Center in Los Angeles and the 34th Street store in Manhattan, NY.