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New Photos Provide a Peek into the Alexander Wang for H&M Collection

September 15, 2014, 9:30 am
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If activewear is your apparel of choice and you live, breathe and sleep in monochromatic colors, then brace yourselves for Alexander Wang’s upcoming collaboration with H&M. The line, which is set to be released in stores and online on November 6, 2014, represents the first time an American designer has joined forces with H&M. 

News of this highly anticipated collaboration broke back in April at Coachella, but only recently have snapshots of the collection been released.

If past partnerships with the international retailers are any sign toward the future, we’re willing to bet that Wang’s line will be extremely successful. In fact, the collection could very well end up being sold out in a short amount of time, forcing any anxious latecomers to scour eBay for remnants as they often had to in the past.

As far as the actual collection goes, chic, yet comfortable seems to be the way. Also, the neoprene trend that has been going on for a while, seems to still be going strong. Though Wang only gave fans a sneak peek of a few pieces, Racked scanned other looks from his collection as they appeared in Vogue Netherlands.

H&M’s last collaboration, which was with French designer Isabel Marant, was so sought after that eager customers slept outside on the sidewalk in order to get in when the store’s doors first opened. 

Seeing as the collection will likely sell like hot cakes, we suggest you line up super early (in the literal and cyber sense), especially if you are already eyeing a certain piece. Remember how crazy the Isabel Marant for H&M launch was? We’re guessing this will be no different. So ladies —circle November 6 in your calendar and we’ll see you there! 

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Fall Style with Miss Me

September 15, 2014, 10:30 am
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Fall is great for many, many reasons (and no, I’m not one to say that Pumpkin Spice Lattes are one of those reasons, but I know I’m in the minority). Fall is exciting because of the changing leaves, returning to school and fall clothing. Trading tank tops for sweaters, shorts for jeans and flip-flops for boots is without a doubt my favorite part of the fall.

To kick off my fall shopping, I started stocked up on some classic fall looks from Miss Me – two pretty sweaters and a thicker pair of dark skinnies. Since it’s not exactly sweater weather yet, these were great because they were a bit thinner. Plus, I actually prefer thinner sweaters when it’s freezing, so I can layer and not be drenched in sweat after the walk to class.

The Loose Knit Sweater in Blue ($64) was super comfy and a perfect pullover sweater over a tank for an in-between weather day. But my absolute favorite was the Cream Stripe Pullover with Bow Back Detail ($54). It looked really great with a bare back, but it was an unrealistic look for class – so I would recommend a bandeau or cute bra underneath, or for a slightly more conservative look, a nude tank.

Both look great with any pair of Miss Me jeans, but I always prefer a dark pair in a skinny cut, like this Simple Five Pocket Midrise Dark Wash Skinny Jean ($79.50). Not pictured, but I also liked them both with shorts, as we transition from fall to summer. While I love the look in shorts or jeans for class, both outfits also work well for any outdoor fall activities – like football games or pumpkin picking.

Miss Me has tons of great looks for fall — I’m already thinking about what I want to order next: fall dresses that look great with boots like this Onyx High-Low Dress and their Draped Up Open Cardigan in H. Grey to wear over summer tops, so they last into the fall.

To get more inspiration for Fall looks, check out Miss Me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram or Google+ and let us know what fall fashion from Miss Me you're looking forward to by leaving a comment below!

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This post brought to you by Miss Me. All opinions are 100% mine.

 

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The 6 Snapchats You Should Never Send a Guy

September 15, 2014, 11:00 am
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As collegiettes in the 21st century, we’re presented with so many ways to flirt with guys without actually having to flirt with them in person. Technology makes it easy: “like” a guy’s Instagram photo, Facebook chat with him and he could be yours! But technology can complicate things, too. With apps like Tinder and Snapchat, it’s easy to accidentally cross the line from casual flirtations to cringe-worthy interactions. So how do you know where the line is when it comes to Snapchat? We asked college guys like Penn State junior Jake Adams, University of Richmond senior Andrew Valenski and recent Temple grad Nate Bronson to offer some insight on what they and their male friends are into (and not-so-into) when it comes to getting Snapchats from collegiettes: the annoying, the weird and the scandalous.

1. The Never-Ending Snapchat Series

Maybe you think that the guy you’re talking to wants to know what you’re doing all day at work. Or maybe you just happen to look really good and want him to see your good hair day as much as possible. Either way, Andrew says that you shouldn’t send too many Snapchats to a guy if you don’t want to annoy him.

“It’s not like sending one every once in a while is bad,” says Andrew. “But when you start getting more than three from the same person in a day it’s like, ‘alright, you’ve gotta calm down, girl.’”

Nate agrees: “I hate when a girl sends me a picture of every task she does all day long. I don’t need to see every thing you check off your to-do list from breakfast to bedtime.”

Andrew says that if a guy wants to get more Snapchats from you, he’ll send you some that require a response. “If a guy sends you one with a question or one that elicits an easy response, then he wants you to send one back to him. If you see he opened it and he didn’t respond, it’s probably better to wait until he sends one to you to send another his way.”

2. The Trying-too-Hard Snapchat

You know how on Instagram girls will hashtag things like “#Nomakeup” and “#Nofilter” when they’re clearly wearing makeup and using Valencia? Super annoying, right? Well, Andrew says the same principle can apply to Snapchats.

“If you get a Snapchat from a girl whose makeup is perfect and who clearly just did her hair and has crazy cleavage going on, you know that she tried hard to look good in that Snapchat,” Andrew says. “So to make a moderately gross face, like sticking your tongue out, then caption it ‘gross!’ when you’ve obviously worked hard to look cute
 It just kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth, like this girl’s trying too hard.”

Andrew emphasizes that he doesn’t care whether a girl’s wearing makeup or not. “Look like whatever you want, just don’t act like you look terrible when you put forth effort to look good,” he says. “Either own it or just don’t acknowledge it.”

Jake says he doesn’t mind if a girl looks pretty, but that a thousand Snapchats of her with the exact same facial expression get annoying. “I get it, she looks good with her head tilted to the right and a close-mouthed smile. But I don’t need to see it 10 times a day.”

Nate just has one rule when it comes to a girl’s appearance in a Snapchat: “No duck faces.”

3. The Bodily Functions Snapchat

This one seems pretty obvious, right? Maybe if you’re bros with a guy you can do this with him, but if you’re pursuing a relationship with him, you should probably avoid sending him a 10-second video of you belching the ABC’s.

“I think some girls think guys will respect them more if they own this gross stuff or something, and I mean, I know girls poop
 I just don’t want to get a Snapchat of them on the toilet doing so,” Andrew says.

Just in case you were thinking of making a Snapchat version of that “Sittin On Tha Toilet” video
 don’t.

4. The Sing-Along Snapchat

One of the best parts of Snapchat is that you get to show somebody else a 10-second snippet of how much fun your life is. Which is why it’s so tempting to send out mass Snapchats of you and your friends singing in the car with the windows down and the radio blasting—how fun is that?! But Andrew says getting videos of you and your friends, or even just you, singing along to some song in the car is a weird experience.

“It’s one thing if it’s a song that means something to me, like if we danced to it once or have an inside joke about it,” Andrew says. “But I feel weird watching you and your friend sing along to ‘We Can’t Stop’ or listening to you belt out ‘Treasure.’ I think it’s a cuter idea in your head than it is in real life.”

Nate says sometimes he likes the singing videos. “If your friend is hilariously off-pitch, I’ll probably laugh a little,” he says. “Or if you’re at a really cool concert, I wouldn’t mind that. But don’t send more than one of the concert.”

5. The Guy Friend Snapchat

While you may not even give it a second thought when you send out a picture of you and your best guy friend being goofballs to everyone on your contact list, Andrew says this is something that could bother the guy you’re romantically interested in.

“If you’re aiming for a relationship with the guy you’re sending this picture to, then there should maybe not be another guy in the picture,” Andrew says. “It could make him jealous or insecure about what you’ve got going on. Or it could make him think you’re hanging out with guys other than him, which could make him think it’s okay to hang out with girls other than you. So be careful with that one.”

Jake says this actually happened to him. “This girl and I were ‘talking,’ and it was pretty clear we were headed toward a relationship. Then she sent me this Snapchat of another guy kissing her on the cheek and it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way,” he says. “I couldn’t tell if she was trying to tell me she wasn’t into a relationship or if she was trying to make me jealous or something, but whatever it was, I wasn’t a fan of it.”

If you’re hoping to make a guy jealous with this move, proceed with caution—you don’t want to turn him off!

6. The Nude-Too-Soon Snapchat

Obviously, you don’t want to send a guy a nude shot the night that you meet him at a frat party. But how do you know when you’re jumping the gun and when it’s the right time to send a dirty picture his way?

“The most important thing is that you’re comfortable,” Andrew says. “Make sure you 100 percent trust him, because even though Snapchats are supposed to be un-screenshot-able, they aren’t. You don’t want to send this hot naked picture to some asshole and have him send it all around campus.”

It’s really important to remember that people definitely can (and do!) take screenshots of Snapchats, even though they aren’t supposed to be able to. There’s even a new app called Snap Save that has been created to save every Snapchat a user ever gets! So if you’re going to send a sexy pic, you need to make sure you trust him not to screenshot it or save it, unless you want his friends to see it, too!

“I’ve gotten some really bangin’ pictures of girls that I’ve been so tempted to save for, uh, rainy days,” Nate says. “But I know that’s a d*ck move, so I just try to burn the image into my brain before the Snapchat disappears. That said, I do have a ton of friends who have screenshotted pictures of girls and kept them on their phones. They’d never send them around, but they show them to their friends from their own phone, which is why you really should be careful who you’re sending these things to.”

 

A parting word of advice? “If you’re second guessing whether or not you should send it, then you probably shouldn’t send it,” Andrew says. Snap carefully, collegiettes! 

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Sneak Peek: Alexander Wang for H&M

September 15, 2014, 9:30 am
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If activewear is your apparel of choice and you live, breathe and sleep in monochromatic colors, then brace yourselves for Alexander Wang’s upcoming collaboration with H&M. The line, which is set to be released in stores and online on November 6, 2014, represents the first time an American designer has joined forces with H&M. 

News of this highly anticipated collaboration broke back in April at Coachella, but only recently have snapshots of the collection been released.

If past partnerships with the international retailers are any sign toward the future, we’re willing to bet that Wang’s line will be extremely successful. In fact, the collection could very well end up being sold out in a short amount of time, forcing any anxious latecomers to scour eBay for remnants as they often had to in the past.

As far as the actual collection goes, chic, yet comfortable seems to be the way. Also, the neoprene trend that has been going on for a while, seems to still be going strong. Though Wang only gave fans a sneak peek of a few pieces, Racked scanned other looks from his collection as they appeared in Vogue Netherlands.

H&M’s last collaboration, which was with French designer Isabel Marant, was so sought after that eager customers slept outside on the sidewalk in order to get in when the store’s doors first opened. 

Seeing as the collection will likely sell like hot cakes, we suggest you line up super early (in the literal and cyber sense), especially if you are already eyeing a certain piece. Remember how crazy the Isabel Marant for H&M launch was? We’re guessing this will be no different. So ladies —circle November 6 in your calendar and we’ll see you there! 

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The Anti-Aging Products and Practices You Should Be Using Now

September 15, 2014, 2:30 pm
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Of the dozens of products a collegiette stocks her bathroom shelves with, chances are very few of them have the words "anti-aging" on them. And why should they? Collegiettes are young and things like wrinkles and sunspots seem worlds away! While it's true that physical signs of aging aren't in your near future, the irreparable damage that leads to crow's feat, wrinkles and discoloration is happening now.

There are a few practices and products that you can add to your beauty routine now that will keep your skin looking young and healthy for years to come. Of course, aging, wrinkles or gray hair are not things to be ashamed of—aging is a natural process and the lines on your face are really a roadmap of your emotions and life experiences! At the same time, there's nothing wrong with wanting to look youthful and keep your skin healthy as you grow older, and most of these techniques and tips are beneficial for the overall health of your skin, no matter your age.

Eat your way to more youthful skin. 

Celebrity esthetician and skincare expert, Scott-Vincent Borba, stresses “It’s never too early to start taking care of your skin!” Borba has worked with celebrity clients including Mila Kunis, AnnaLynne McCord, Ashley Greene and Lucy Hale and is known for his "inside out" approach to skincare and beauty, meaning that what we put in our bodies is the first thing to consider when looking to prevent premature aging.

“One of the most important things you can do to prevent the signs of aging is having a healthy diet,” says Borba. “[A healthy diet] provides the proper nutrients to help your skin generate as healthy a protective barrier to external damages as possible.”

A “healthy diet” for your skin consists of many of the same foods and nutrients you should be eating anyway to maintain overall health, but Borba points out five key super foods you should be adding to your diet for youthful skin:

  • Water for hydration
  • Polyphenols, like pomegranates, grape juices and acai berries, for free-radical fighting power
  • Avocados for omega-3s
  • Pink grapefruits for lycopene and healthy skin-balancing acidity
  • Leafy greens for beta carotene

Incorporating some of these foods into your diet will not only make you feel better, but it will improve the health and appearance of your skin and help build defenses against premature aging. For even more tips on how to eat your way to clearer skin, check out Borba's book, Cooking Your Way to Gorgeous: Skin-Friendly Superfoods, Age-Reversing Recipes and Fabulous Homemade Facials. 

Treat yourself to a facial regularly.

While healthy lifestyle habits are a great way to consistently take care of your skin, it's helpful to give your skin a little extra love every now and then."In your twenties, it's important to think about your skin in terms of proactive prevention," says Borba. "I recommend a good facial every six weeks." If the idea of shelling out big bucks for a facial once every month and a half makes you cringe, try an at-home facial once a week to clear blocked pores and help stabilize your skin. 

Add eye creams to your beauty routine.

It may seem like the only people using eye creams are your moms and aunts, but that isn't the case. Tons of celebrities and mid-20s YouTube gurus swear by eye creams to reduce puffiness and prevent signs of aging. The skin around our eyes is incredibly thin and delicate, so it's important to take care of that area to prevent premature crow's feet and wrinkles. When removing your makeup, try to use an effective makeup remover, like the Neutrogena Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover ($5.99), to remove eye makeup effortlessly without having to tug and rub to remove stubborn mascara. 

You should also be using a rich eye cream both morning and night underneath your faciail moisturizer to keep the skin around your eyes hydrated and soft and to reduce puffiness. We love the Kiehl's Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado ($28.50), which moisturizers and cools while protecting the skin around the eyes. You only need a tiny bit dabbed very gently underneath your eye and over the lid to do the trick.

Protect your skin from the sun.

We've said it before and we'll say it again: make sure you're wearing SPF (even during the winter)! According to the Skin Cancer Foundation, more than 90 percent of signs of premature aging are caused by ultraviolet rays from the sun, and people who use sunscreen daily show 24 percent less skin aging than those who do not. This is because "repeated sun exposure depletes the body's antioxidant content, allowing for free radicals to attack cellular lipids, protein and even DNA," says Borba.

Dr. Elizabeth Hale, Clinical Associate Proessor of Dermatology at NYU Langone Medical Center and consultant to Coppertone explains that, "An ‘age spot' is actually a solar lentigo - a small bit of pigmentation caused by sun exposure. That’s why using sunscreen earlier on in life, especially during your late teens or early 20s, is vital to skin health and will help protect your skin against excessive sun exposure." Dr. Hale recommends Coppertone CLEARLYSheer For Sunny Days Face Lotion ($9.99 at Walgreens) to protect your skin without clogging pores or feeling greasy.

While any sunscreen containing a high SPF is a safe bet, using products with anti-aging properties, like the Neutrogena Age Shield Face Lotion Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 70 ($13.79 at Walgreens) will help you get the most protection. Borba suggests a suncreen in the form of an oil with a high protection factor: "I currently recommend to my clients (and personally wear) SPF 50 ... I love dry face oils [for sunscreen]."

If you wear makeup, apply a lightweight sunscreen or dry face oil to your skin before applying makeup—don't rely on a BB cream or foundation with SPF to do the job! "Although makeup with SPF is a popular product on the market right now ... it can give women a false sense of security," cautions Dr. Hale. "While it may have a certain level of sun protection, [women] likely don’t apply it with the same precision they would with a sunscreen or reapply it to ensure protection."

While it may be a pain to remember to apply sunscreen daily, over time it will become a habit that will make a world of difference down the line. Next time you're slathering yourself in tanning oil for a day at the beach, remember these words from Borba: "A suntan will fade, but the damage doesn't." 

Use products that promote greater elasticity and rapid cell turnover.

One of the first indicators of age is skin that has lost elasticity and plumpness. As we age, our cells renew themselves at a slower rate, making our skin look less youthful and glowing and allowing wrinkles and age spots to develop. Borba recommends looking for "products that contain between 0.5 to 1 percent salicylic acid or 2.5 to 5 percent glycolic or lactic acid," to promote cell renewal and greater elasticity.

A facial cleanser containing salicylic acid that Borba recommends is the Bioré Complexion Clearing Blemish Fighting Ice Cleanser ($7.99 at Ulta). While you're at the drugstore, check out products that contain Vitamin C, as well, as these "will also help to enhance your skin's renewal process," says Borba. 

Don't neglect your neck, décolletage and hands.

The hands and chest are some of the very first places signs of aging can appear, even as early as your mid-20s (eek!). According to The Huffington Post, one of the best ways to help prevent premature aging on your hands is to get in the habit of slathering the backs of your hands with rich hand creams as often as possible, particularly at night. 

We often forget about our necks and chests when speeding through our beauty routine, but it's important to make sure that you're bringing all of the moisturizers and serums down your neck and chest in addition to your face. There are actually products at the drugstore specifically designed for your neck and chest, like the Nuance by Salma Hayek Age Affirm Neck & Chest Balm ($17.59 at CVS).

Also remember to take the same precautions with your hands and neck that you do with your face; that means apply sunscreen daily to the backs of your hands and your décolletage to prevent premature wrinkles and age spots.

You don't need professional facials or pricey Botox injections to prevent premature aging; most of the products you need can be found at the drugstore and can be easily incorporated into your daily routine. While you may not see the effects of your hard work now, fifteen years from now you'll be glad you started today!

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4 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Relationship

September 15, 2014, 4:00 pm
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College relationships are so much more grown-up compared to high school relationships, right? Dating in college calls for more mature moves, such as not telling your friends every little detail about your relationship. While spilling some things to your roommates is perfectly okay, there are experiences that should be kept private between you and your SO for the sake of honoring your relationship. Here’s what not to tell your besties (as tough as it may be).

1. The private details of your partner’s life

Your SO tells you something really private and asks you not to tell anyone. This is absolutely a contract you cannot breach. Failing to respect your partner’s wishes could mean the demise of the relationship, especially if word gets out.

“You shouldn't tell your friends any secrets or private things your boyfriend entrusts in you,” says Suzanne Oshima, dating coach at Single in Stilettos. “Don't even think for a moment that it would be okay to just tell your best friend.”

Oshima says the consequences of doing so are dire.

“Why? Because if your boyfriend ever finds out that you shared something that he entrusted in you, he will never trust you again with anything else that he holds near and dear to his heart,” she says. “Men have a hard enough time opening up about their feelings, so don't breach his trust.”

Seriously, don’t. It means a lot that he told you this in the first place!

2. Every single disagreement you have with your partner

Sometimes it’s okay to consult your girls when you’re not sure who’s in the wrong. However, telling them about every single tiny argument you have with your SO can’t end well.

“You shouldn't tell your friends about every single fight you get into with your boyfriend,” Oshima says. “If you do, it will start to taint how they feel about him, and they'll just try to get you to break up with him.”

It’s best to keep some of the smaller arguments to yourselves. Plus, you should be able to work it out with your SO without the aid of your friends.

3. The super intimate stuff

If you’re experimenting with sex for the first time, it’s totally natural to have questions that you want to ask your girls. Remember, though, that divulging every single detail of these intimate happenings between you and your partner can take away from the importance you should be placing on these occurrences. After all, having sex with someone you deeply care about doesn’t happen all the time.

“I know so many like to kiss and tell, but you shouldn’t tell your friends about your sex life,” says Julie Spira, online dating and relationship expert as well as founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

Spira says if you do tell one of your friends about your sex woes (or intimate details about your partner’s body and abilities) and you happen to get in a fight with said friend, those dirty details you spilled could get back to your SO. Now that would be awkward.

Make sure you have sex discussions with a person you totally and completely trust, because the situation Spira described could be nightmarish — especially if you attend a small college.

4. Exactly how fabulous your relationship is

Things aren’t going well — they’re going amazing. And we’re totally happy for you! However, keep in mind that you don’t want to be excessive when talking about it to your friends.

“You shouldn't gush and brag all the time to your single girlfriends about how great your boyfriend and relationship are,” Oshima says. “Being in love and in a great relationship can be one of the most amazing things. But it's important to be sensitive to your girlfriends who are single and not in a relationship right now.”

Remember when you were single and one of your friends was totally infatuated with her boyfriend? You had to hear about it all the time, and after a while, you were a bit fed up. Chatting about something adorable your SO did is fine from time to time, but don’t go overboard. As Oshima said, you should be considerate of your friends’ feelings.

Relationships are awesome, but with them come some expectation of privacy. After all, would you want your SO sharing every detail with his or her buddies? We didn’t think so. Honor your SO by keeping the intimate aspects of your relationship just that – intimate.

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The 7 Types of FOMO All College Students Suffer Through

September 15, 2014, 5:00 pm
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FOMO: Fear of missing out. That slowly spreading anxiety and sadness that overcomes you as soon as you find out all your friends are doing cool things and, to put it simply, you're not. The only thing we fear more than missing out is the feeling of FOMO itself. We've all been there and are all too aware of the typical types of FOMO we face.

1. Underage FOMO

All of your friends are getting ready for a night out, you pregame together, it's looking like the perfect night and then... they leave for the bars, and you're stuck in your dorm alone with empty beer cans and no friends. It's basically the worst being underage when the rest of your friends are 21. All you can do is picture the promised land that is the bars and patiently wait. Don't worry; your time will come soon enough, young grasshopper.

2. Single-Friend FOMO

Being single is all fine and good until literally ALL of your friends are in relationships and you're just chilling at home stuffing your face with ice cream and watching The Notebook. Half of your friends pity you and tell you to hold out because the right one is on his way as you third-wheel your way through life. And then the other half of your friends are so busy off being in love and going on dates to even remember your existence. So what if you end up as "that aunt" who gets too drunk at family parties and could never tie down a man? At least you're doing you!

3. Night-in FOMO

Maybe you're sick, maybe you have a stack of homework that could put the Leaning Tower of Pisa to shame or maybe you just wanted to spend the night in and get some much-needed alone time. That is, until you find out that all of your friends are going out without you and you're stuck on your couch all alone tracking their night through your Instagram feed. Good news: Everyone's having so much fun! Bad news: You're not.

4. Stuck-in-America FOMO

Not only did everyone decide to study abroad, but they somehow all planned to go at the same time... except for you. So while everyone is posting pictures of amazing monuments and gorgeous towns, you're living vicariously through your computer screen. The food, the sights, the guys! You're so happy for them; you really are. But somehow the subpar food you manage to scrounge up in your apartment and the white walls of your American classrooms are just leaving you feel really bummed out... and left out.

5. Unemployed FOMO

This basically means all of your friends are getting real-life jobs and becoming successful adults, and you're just kinda chillin'. Sure, you've been looking for jobs... kinda. But at some point everyone else went off and signed up for an amazing future, and you missed the deadline somehow. As if finding a job weren't stressful enough, sitting back and watching while everyone else lands their dream jobs is just that much worse.

6. Spring Break FOMO

You're so excited when your parents told you they were taking you to Disney World for spring break! Or, at least you were until all of your friends planned a Panama City Beach trip and you can't go. What's even worse is when you're stuck at home while everyone else is away getting tan and living it up in a college student's wonderland. As if seeing their many pictures during the week wasn't enough, getting to relive their stories for what feels like forever once they get back is FOMO torture. You already missed out on it; now you get to be reminded of that every. Single. Day.

7. Being-Broke FOMO

It's bad enough when all your friends are getting jobs and you feel like a failure at life. But when they're all getting the newest smartphones and wearing the cutest clothes and you're still rocking a slight upgrade from a flip phone and the same sweater you've owned since high school, the FOMO kicks in. Forget about peer pressure; you're living off cereal and settling for a summer job to make ends meet while your friends are traveling the world, drinking century-old wine (probably an exaggeration, but FOMO tends to cloud our judgment). Maybe you'll find a $5 bill tomorrow! But probably not.

 

Everyone feels FOMO from time to time. It's just a part of life, and while it may seem like the end of the world when everyone is out having fun and you're missing out, tomorrow is a whole new day: A new chance for adventure. Or even more FOMO... the vicious cycle never seems to end.

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Changing Your Career Path in College: What to Do

September 15, 2014, 9:00 pm
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It’s not an uncommon scenario: you have the skill set, resume, and collection of internships that make you perfect for one industry. Then, midway through college, one of your internships or other experiences makes you step back and say, “Wait—maybe I don’t actually want to do this.”

While your heart may have been set on a particular industry since you were five, chances are, you’ll waver from your initial idea of what you want to do after graduation. But that’s okay! Whether you came to the realization after an internship or after talking to a professor, deciding to make a career change in the middle of your college career (or even near the end!) doesn’t have to elicit panic.

The truth is, most college students change their career paths many times throughout their education, and even if you’re a second semester senior, there ARE ways to change your path smoothly! We talked to Amanda Baker, assistant director of the Johns Hopkins University Career Center, for tips on how to make the transition.

1. Don’t panic

Even if you’re drastically changing what you want to do post-college late in the game, you’re not alone! There are several ways to make it work. The key is to start adjusting for the change as early as possible once you decide you want to switch—don’t worry that it’s too late.

“Someone should go into a field that’s a good fit for them, not one that they've been on the path [for] since they were six,” says Baker. “It’s better to find out [you want to change your career path] senior year of college than dropping out during med or law school.”

Be calm and realize that you’re doing yourself a favor by switching now rather than later. This worked for Misha, a collegiette from North Carolina State University, who switched her major from pre-law to public relations after she started to get sick of the pre-law coursework. “Some people were worried about me being a senior, but I thought it was the best decision and I wouldn't have to attend law school,” she says. Keep in mind that if you don’t like your major now, you’ll be miserable when you’re working in that field for the rest of your life!

“I was a math and English major my first two years of college, and then when I transferred, I switched to English and journalism,” says Hayley, a collegiette at University of Kansas. “My advice for someone changing career paths is not to hesitate, because the sooner you can make those changes, the closer you are to what you want to do.”

2. Meet with an academic adviser

Talk to an academic adviser about which classes you need to take, and a career counselor about which experiences you should start trying to get, like volunteering or working in a lab on campus. You may need to fill certain prerequisites for grad school if your career path requires further education.

Keep in mind that you don’t necessarily have to switch your major to go to grad school or get a job in a different field, depending on what the field is. But having SOME background in what you plan on studying or doing after graduation will be helpful. Talk to your adviser to come up with a detailed plan and he or she can help you weigh your options.

This worked wonders for Suzzette, a collegiette at the University of Puerto Rico. Starting college with a law degree in mind, she realized how much she hated her classes and no longer wanted to be a lawyer. “I went to see a counselor,” she says. He helped her “take a leap of faith” as she enrolled in the communications school at her college. “Ever since taking the first class at the School of Communication during my second semester of my freshman year in college, I was in love,” she says.

Kirsten, a student at the University of North Carolina, experienced a similar situation where she went from wanting to be an orthodontist to a wanting to be a journalist. “I immediately went to advising [and] planned out my classes for the next three years,” she says. “I applied for multiple internships and started attending networking events that the [journalism] school advertises.” While she felt behind at first, Kirsten quickly realized that it was better to be a bit behind while doing something you love than struggling through a subject you hate.

3. Find transferable skills

Look at how you can rearrange your resume to fit your new field, Baker says. “If you’re drastically changing from one field to another, we recommend that you take the things you HAVE done in the past and look how to apply that to the future,” she says. Look at your past experiences and internships and see if there are any crossover skills that could apply to your new path.

“Suppose you were a social media intern and you were doing things like updating a website. If you decided to go into computer science, you would focus on the website things you've done,” Baker says. If you did coursework in history with the hopes of being a professor and now you want to go into journalism, focus on your attention to detail and the research you did that will help you with reporting. Or, if you did psychology internships and now you would rather go into marketing, focus on your people skills that will help you communicate with clients and co-workers.

When in doubt, focus on leadership skills, professionalism, customer service, loyalty, and teamwork. Those are all traits you wouldn’t necessarily learn in the classroom—but they’re key to almost every industry. Once you’ve identified which of your skills could cross over to your new path, update your resume by highlighting those things and focus on what you CAN bring to the table, rather than what you can’t.

4. Get as much experience in your new field as you can

Do everything you can to start acquainting yourself with your new field. Baker suggests internships if there’s time, research with a faculty member, and campus activities like organizations and clubs that will signal to the next person reading your resume that you’re actually interested in and dedicated to your new path. Decided that you want to be a teacher? Become a tutor. Switching to environmental science? See if you can get in on a professor’s research in any capacity. Even if the experiences are a small as joining a pre-law society or as big as getting to do a semester-long internship, those experiences add up and will better prepare you once you leave college.

5. Network, network, network

Whether you’re still toying with the idea of changing what you want to do or if you’re already charging ahead, it’s a great idea to consult with alumni, friends, industry professionals, and people at your school’s career center for advice. “Find people that do what you want to be doing and talk to them about what they do,” Baker says. “This will also give you some insider info about the industry and perhaps that company, so when you go on interviews you’ll understand what a potential employer is looking for.”

Start with your career center to look for alumni contacts, and then try reaching out to connections on LinkedIn. People will most likely be happy to talk to you! Ask your parents and friends if they know people who work in your future industry. Then, arrange phone calls or coffee meetings to talk about their jobs—what they like and don’t like—and if they have any advice for a collegiette hoping to break into that field. Send thank you notes after the meetings and then keep in touch. They’ll be critical contacts to have when you’re looking for a job!

 

Making a change from the career you thought you always wanted since middle school is scary—but it’s absolutely doable and totally common. According to Baker, most college students switch what they want to do SEVERAL times before graduation. Follow these tips and you’ll be well on your way to succeeding in a new industry! 

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Top 5 Fashion Week Nail Trends and How To Do Them

September 16, 2014, 5:30 am
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I'm going to come clean ... I prefer Fall to Spring. There's something irresistable about the coziness of Fall weather, but after seeing some of the Spring nail trends that popped up at fashion week, I might just wish that Fall goes by quicker!
 
CAFÉ CRÈME
When I sat down at my first Parisian cafĂ©, I ordered a “CafĂ© au Lait,” and my friend immediately said, “Oh, only tourists call it that. We usually say, ‘CafĂ© CrĂšme’.” Well, the locals at NYFW have definitely caught on. The Spring 2015 collections are dipping into the coffee pot to redefine the “nude nail,” and these creamy colors are just the pick-me-up we need! Don’t forget—nude polishes need a good base coat in order to go on smoothly and cleanly. Try a base coat with a sheer, peachy color, like Butter London’s Nail Foundation ($19).
 

 

 

Narciso Rodriguez
Deborah Lippmann used Terra Nova from her Summer 2015 collection 
try: OPI Classic Nail Lacquer in Barefoot in Barecelona ($9.50)
     

     

 

 

 

Michael Kors
Jin Soon Choi used Michael Kors Sporty Nail Lacquer in Hint ($18), with a matte top coat 
 

 

 

 

 

 
3.1 Philip Lim
Elisa Ferri (NARS Cosmetics) used NARS Nail Polish in Zakynthos ($20)
 

 
 
 
 
 
CUT IT OUT
Negative space popped up on runways multiple times during fashion week. Sometimes, just one uniform nail color becomes
 boring. Switch it up by leaving some areas purposefully bare, and trust us, you’ll be the coolest chica on the block! Looks hard? Nope. Take some round stickers and cover the area you want to leave unpainted, and after you finish applying your color, just peel them off! Another option is to dip a cheap paintbrush in nail polish remover or acetone and wipe away whatever patch of color you don’t want.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Zimmermann
Rebecca Isa (Zoya Creative Director) says they used Ziv ($9) Nail Polish for this look
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Charlotte Ronson
Miss Pop used OPI’s That’s Hula-rious! from the Spring/Summer 2015 Collection
try: Maybelline Color Show Nail Polish in Green With Envy ($3.99)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Creatures of Comfort
Alicia Torello (Zoya) used Penny for area near cuticle and Flowie for the rest of the nail ($9 each)   
 
 
 
 
 
 
WATERCOLORS
It’s time to tap into your inner artist and break out the nail polish. These gradient nail looks are super impressive, yet they are extremely easy to do. The trick is to work quickly and slap on the colors you want to blend, and before they dry, apply your top coat to drag the colors together. Et voilà, your masterpiece is finished! If you find your polish is a little too dry, try putting a drop of polish remover or acetone onto your nail to loosen it up.
 
 
 
 
 
Monique Lhuillier
Gina Edwards used a blend of Morgan Taylor’s nail lacquers in Coming Up Roses and Color Me Bold
try: Orly Nail Polish in First Blush and Classic Contours ($3.97 each)
     
     
 
 
 
 
 
Rebecca Minkoff
Michelle Saunders used Essie Nail Polish in Bikini So Teeny on the lower half near cuticle, Turquoise & Caicos on the top half towards end of nails, and Lollipop as a horizontal line where the other two overlap ($8.50 each)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Tracy Reese
Tracylee used the Complete Salon Manicure polish Tupelo Honey from the upcoming Sally Hansen x Tracy Reese collaboration
try: Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Mudslide ($7.99)
                             
 
 
 
LINE UP
Pssst! This is my favorite nail trend from fashion week! Not only are these lined nails the epitome of minimalist chic, but they are also super easy and versatile to recreate. You can get creative and mix & match whatever colors you have on hand. I recommend going to your local crafts store and buying a $1 thin paintbrush to dip into your polish. My favorite part about this nail art is that I can be lazy and do a look à la Prabal Gurung—no need to paint the whole nail!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Kate Spade
Deborah Lippmann used the white Amazing Grace Nail Lacquer and lined with the Faded to Black Nail Lacquer (each $18)
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Prabal Gurung
Jin Soon Choi used three new pastel colors from the Sally Hansen x Prabal Gurung Spring 2015 collaboration plus an extra white polish.
try: Revlon Nail Art Sun Candy in Pink Dawn, Solar Flare, and Sun Shower ($9.49 each) and OPI Soft Shades Nail Lacquer in Alpine Snow ($9.50)
     
 
 
 
 
 
Tadashi Shoji
Kate Jane Hughes (Butter London) used a nude background for her gold criss-cross pattern
try: Butter London Nail Lacquer in metallic gold shade The Full Monty and nude shade Yummy Mummy ($15 each)
    
    
 
 
REDS
Is there ever a reason not to wear red nail polish? I didn’t think so. Think about all the different reds out there—orange red, brick red, blue red—so many possibilities! Make sure your nails are perfectly filed with a double sided nail file, like this pretty pink one from Tweezerman ($5), to both shape and smooth your nails.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Zac Posen
Keri Blair used MAC Studio Nail Lacquer in Shirelle ($12)
     
    
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Carolina Herrera
Michelle Saunders used Essie Nail Polish in A-List ($8.50)
     
     
     
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Nicole Miller
Karen Jane Hughes (Butter London) used a bright orangey-red color from the Nicole Miller x Butter London Spring/Summer 2015 collaboration
try: Covergirl Outlast Stay Brilliant Nail Gloss in Coral Silk 240 ($5.49)
    
     
 
 
Collegiettes, what nail trends make you wish Spring was here already? Sound off below!
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How to Live With Any Roommate

September 16, 2014, 6:00 am
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It’s the start of the semester, and you and your new roommate are all settled in to your new double (it may be the smallest one on your floor, but the two of you can make it work), or you’ve finally found someone who can cover half the rent on your off-campus apartment.

At first, everything is great! You’re both super cautious about keeping the space clean, being quiet during sleeping hours and asking before you invite a campus cutie back to your place. But after a few weeks of stellar conduct, you may find yourself kicking your shoes off in the doorway or sneaking your boyfriend or girlfriend back to your room without telling your roomie first. It’s no big deal, right?

Unfortunately, your roommate probably doesn’t appreciate stumbling over your gym shoes, and you may not like listening to her clack away at her keyboard at ungodly hours of the night. So how do you deal? Here are a few lifestyle differences you might run into and how to cope with them.

1. She’s super messy.

You’ve been taught to make your bed first thing every morning and to fold your clothes straight out of the laundry and put them away neatly. Your roommate, on the other hand, leaves clothes strewn on her bed, which remains perpetually unmade. There’s trash everywhere, but thankfully only on her side of the room.

This is perhaps the most iconic example of roommate clashes. An unmade bed can be unsightly to someone who loves cleanliness, but it can be equally difficult for a girl who’s oblivious to messes to suddenly get the urge to clean.

How to deal

If you have a need for clean, try to keep it to your side of the room. Your roommate is not under your control, and you cannot expect her to conform to your standards.

“Everyone has the right to maintain personal items and space as she chooses,” says Susan Fee, a licensed professional counselor and author of My Roommate’s Driving Me Crazy!“The only time it becomes an issue is if the mess moves into common area [or] your space, or is smelly or unsanitary.”

So while her messy bed may be unsightly, as long as she’s not throwing trash on your desk, it may be best to let this one slide. See if she’ll agree to clean up a bit when parents or friends come over, but otherwise, let it go.

2. She’s up when you’re sleeping.

One of you likes to get up with the sun, while the other loves burning the midnight oil. We all have our own circadian rhythms that are hard to reprogram. It’s equally as frustrating trying to sleep with the lights on as it is for her to hear your alarm blaring hours before she’s slated to wake up.

How to deal

If you’re finding your sleep habits are causing tension, there may be a way to get back in sync! Get a sleep mask to keep the light out of your eyes and earplugs to block the sound of the alarm. Try to be as quiet as possible in the early mornings, and do your late-night studying in your dorm’s common room. Try to be respectful of your roomie’s sleeping times. After all, being woken up in the middle of a good dream is perhaps the worst thing ever.

3. She always has people over.

You see your room as a safe space to get away from the outside world. Unfortunately, your roomie seems to enjoy bringing the outside world into your room. Sometimes she doesn’t even ask!

“My freshman-year roommate and I definitely had some interesting differences,” says Shira, a senior at Franklin & Marshall College. “She would frequently bring people over without any forewarning for me and just have them stay the night or stay late when I would want to go to sleep.”

How to deal

It’s always polite to ask! If someone’s going to be in your room other than you, let your roomie know in advance.

If your roommate seems to have people over all the time without telling you, however, talk to her about it. Shira found this was a great way to solve her problem. “Eventually I talked to my roommate about it and told her that she should at least give me some sort of warning,” she says. “She agreed and said she wouldn’t do it again, and just talking to her cleared the air a bit.”

4. She’s passive-aggressive.

Your roommate may not be the best at confrontation. While open communication is ideal, some girls may not be used to voicing their opinions directly. However, when you or your roomie is leaving Post-it notes on the fridge or giving the other the silent treatment, it’ll be difficult to adequately solve any conflict.

How to deal

When it comes to roommate troubles, shutting down and suffering in silence will certainly not fix the problem. Fee suggests avoiding behaviors like complaining to floor mates or leaving messes to make a point. “You don’t solve a problem by joining it,” she says.

Passive-aggressive behavior only serves to breed resentment and contempt—not an ideal atmosphere! Talking with your roommate openly gives you the chance to reach a solution that will work for both of you. (Plus, those negotiation skills will come in handy when it’s time to ask your future boss for a raise!)

If your roommate is displaying these behaviors, she may have trouble with confrontation, so let her know it’s alright to shoot you a text or talk to you about it openly if there’s an issue.

5. She uses your stuff all the time.

Some of us might be very open to sharing, while others don’t want to share our personal belongings. Alex, a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, had trouble with a roommate who took sharing too far.

“She was constantly using kitchen things from other roommates without permission, even after being asked not to,” she says. “I had learned not to share my kitchen supplies because in the past, my stuff would get ruined a lot faster than if it was just me taking care of my things.”

How to deal

You may have discussed sharing large appliances like the fridge and the microwave, but if your roomie assumes that sharing everything comes with the territory of living together, it may be good to talk about it.

“Start by asking what she thinks is reasonable,” like marking things with your names so you both know what can and cannot be borrowed or shared, Fee suggests. “Ask for changes when her habits impact your own space.”

6. She doesn’t share your beliefs.

Ideally, you discussed these sorts of lifestyle differences before you chose your roommate. But if you have a random roomie or the conversation never got as far as beliefs, you may be in for an uncomfortable surprise.

Shira recalls that, while she and her roommate were both Jewish, her roommate was making an effort to break away from that lifestyle. “When I was observing Passover, she would eat a cup of noodles on her bed in front of me,” Shira says. “Totally not kosher for Passover.”

How to deal

As always, talk to your roommate to see if you can find a solution. For example, perhaps one of you tries to utilize the worship spaces on campus while the other agrees to be more mindful during religious holidays.

Shira found that this sort of compromise worked for her and her roommate. “We ultimately worked it out as I went to a religious group on campus, Chabad, for more Passover meals,” she explains. “I didn't have to feel uncomfortable, and she was able to eat whatever she wanted.”

7. She puts her sex life on display.

It can be pretty awkward trying to study while your roommate is spending some quality time with her significant other.

Kathryne Davis, a recent graduate of SUNY Oswego, dealt with this firsthand. “My roommate had a girlfriend who went to a different school, so when she came over, she'd spend the night,” she says. “They would make out while I was sitting and watching TV and doing homework, which I think is a little awkward, no matter who the couple is. Once, I was trying to sleep, and they came in the room and [started] having sex. I didn't know what to do, so I got up and slept in the common room while they were in the middle of doing stuff. My roommate and I never discussed the issue.”

How to deal

Discussion is definitely the way to go for situations like this. In fact, Fee stresses the importance of discussion before issues even occur.

“You should always talk about expectations of having people over or how your habits might impact your roommate,” she says.

Talk to your roommate to find a solution that works for you. See if she’ll shoot you a text when someone is coming over so that you have time to make other arrangements if necessary, or if you can agree to certain times or days of the week when overnight visitors are allowed (such as no one staying the night on weeknights).

It sucks when you feel like you can’t be yourself in your own room, but for the time being, you have to share a space with someone who might be nothing like you. While you don’t have to agree with someone’s actions, Fee encourages us to always be respectful of others.

“Learning from each other is part of the real life classroom,” she says.

As always, keep the lines of communication wide open so that you and your roomie can have a relaxed and happy dorm life!

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Win A Pair Of Jack Rogers Sandals In Your College Or Sorority Colors

September 16, 2014, 7:00 am
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Want to rock your college colors – or sorority colors – in style this semester? Get ready for the best new wardrobe staple to grace your fall wardrobe!

Her Campus has teamed up with Jack Rogers to give five lucky winners each a pair of Jack Rogers’s College Colors or Sorority Colors Sandals in the size and color of their choice!

Inspired by the love and enthusiasm collegiettes have for their Jack Rogers, affectionately known as “Jacks,” the brand offers 11 color combinations in the College Colors Sandal to represent several colleges and universities across America. A must-have for every collegiette’s wardrobe, the sandal is ideal for game days both in the early fall and the spring months; it’s also a way to show school spirit in the summertime and after graduation (though we’re trying not to think about graduation just yet... Because we never have to leave, right? Right).

Would you rather show off your sorority pride than your college colors? Size and color combinations are available in the Sorority Colors Sandal to represent some of the largest National Panhellenic Council sororities!

Don’t see your college or sorority color combination? Create a pair of your very own in the Jack Rogers Custom Shop, exclusively on JackRogersUSA.com! 196 color combinations are available (#mindblown) through the custom shop, so you can pick the shades you love most!

What are you waiting for? Score your free pair of style-savvy sandals ASAP! Enter below to win yours:

Fill out my online form.
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8 Life Lessons From Drag Queens

September 16, 2014, 9:00 am
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When people hear the words “drag queen,” they most likely think of big hair, false lashes and seven-foot-tall men in heels lip-synching to Madonna. Drag queens are so much more than that, though! Drag queens are smart, resourceful performers who never shy away from taking creative risks and being themselves. In fact, we would argue that drag queens are role models, capable of giving much better life advice than any of those Dr. Phil types. Here are eight life lessons we can learn from the queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

1. Don’t be afraid to take risks

When RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant Sharon Needles came stomping down the runway looking like a Walking Dead extra, viewers and contestants alike were in complete awe of her styling decision. Throughout the season, her competitors constantly judged her for her ghoulish and unconventional style, calling her a Party-City-shopping goth. And you know what happened? Sharon went on to win the entire season and is now a super-famous drag queen.

Drag queens aren’t afraid of taking risks because they know that every risk is an opportunity to showcase uniqueness, adaptability and tenacity. However, just because we aren’t strutting our stuff looking like a glam corpse doesn’t mean we can’t take creative risks in our own lives! The next time you’re asked to pitch an idea at your internship or you’re presented with a new opportunity, take the risk!

2. Don’t rely on being pretty

During the celebrity impersonation challenge of RuPaul’s Drag Race, season-six winner Bianca Del Rio played the infamous Judge Judy. In her most memorable moment, she said Judy’s famous catchphrase: “Beauty fades, but dumb is forever!”

Certain Drag Race contestants, like Courtney Act and Vivienne Pinay, have been both praised and criticized for using their natural beauty as a way of staying in the competition. RuPaul challenged these queens to stop relying on their beauty and to show their other talents, such as any singing abilities or comedic chops that set them apart from their competitors. And when these queens did, they showed they deserved to be in the competition.

Being pretty is great, but it isn’t everything. We are so much more than our looks! Embrace all of the talents you have and don’t rely on your physical appearance to get you everything you need in life. People care a lot more about what’s on the inside, anyways!

3. Don’t care about what other people think of you

While RuPaul’s Drag Race may be a hit TV show, drag queens still face prejudice and discrimination (even from other LGBTQ+ folks!) for who they are as people and performers. But do queens let that bring them down? Of course not! Drag queens embrace everything about their art and don’t apologize for being themselves. Drag queens don’t care about what other people think and never second-guess who they are. It’s like RuPaul always says, “Unless they paying your bills, pay them b*tches no mind.”

The next time someone spreads a rumor about you or judges you for something, tune it out! Don’t live your life in a certain way because that’s how others want you to. The world will always be full of haters, so just continue being your fabulous self, and things will work out in the end.

4. Support others

As a show, RuPaul’s Drag Race is so much more than drag queens making elaborate costumes and lip-synching. It’s a show about LGBTQ+ individuals who stand by each other in the midst of whatever life throws at them. When season five contestant Roxxxy Andrews had a mental breakdown recounting how her mother abandoned her at a bus stop as a child, her competitors and RuPaul reminded her that they were her family. When contestant Monica Beverly Hillz came out as trans*, her fellow contestants applauded her bravery and told her they would support her 100 percent. Drag queens remind us, specifically LGBTQ+ folks, that we are a community that mustn’t be divided. We have to support one another, because at the end of the day, the LGBTQ+ community is the only family some people have.

The next time you go to an LGBTQ+ club meeting, go out of your way to meet a new person. Introduce yourself to the person who is coming for the first time and show them that they aren’t alone. And besides, you can always use more friends!

5. Work for what you want

At the end of every RuPaul’s Drag Race episode, two queens compete in a “Lip Sync for Your Life” in a last-ditch effort to show the judges that they deserve to stay in the competition. Queens do anything and everything to prove their worth, from executing incredibly intricate dance moves to tearing off their outfits.  They break out all of the stops because they know that their dream of becoming America’s Next Drag Superstar will never become a reality if they don’t fight for it.

Don’t be afraid to work as hard as you can for what want! Work for that job you’ve dreamed of having or leadership position you’ve always wanted. Fortune favors the bold!

6. Make your own success

While RuPaul may have a full-force glam team behind her to turn her into the stunning glamazon that she is, most drag queens aren’t so lucky. Many drag queens have to apply their own makeup, create their own elaborate costumes, choreograph their dance routines and find clubs to book them
 all while oftentimes working a full-time job. A lot of work goes into being a drag queen!

You don’t need a huge team or lots of resources behind you in order to be successful. You can make it happen! If a guy who looks like Danny DeVito can make himself look like Cameron Diaz, you can do anything. Don’t be discouraged by a lack of resources or by inexperience. You can make it work if you put your mind to it!

7. Embrace your mistakes and never let life get you down

Drag queens know that not all creative risks pay off. They know that life is full of mistakes and that it isn’t always smooth sailing. Queens like Latrice Royale, who spent several years in jail as a young adult, remind us that who we are now is infinitely more important than who we used to be. Latrice didn’t let the fact that she went to prison dictate how the rest of her life would go. She picked herself up, picked out some eye shadow and became an incredibly successful drag queen.

Don’t be embarrassed of your mistakes or let your past define you. You’re where you are now because of where you’ve been.

8. Love yourself

At the end of every RuPaul’s Drag Race episode, RuPaul says her most famous mantra: “Learn to love yourself, ‘cause if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

What better advice is there? Drag queens remind us that we must be happy with ourselves in order to find happiness in other people or things in our lives. We must acknowledge when we need to work on ourselves and our own happiness and learn how to find happiness within.

It turns out there’s a lot we can learn from drag queens! Here’s to taking creative risks, being our authentic selves and loving ourselves. Who knew the contestants of a reality television competition about drag queens would be so wise?

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My 5 Style Must-Haves: Vanessa Barcus

September 16, 2014, 9:30 am
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It was love at first sight when we started scrolling through Denver-based boutique Goldyn's online shop. The brick-and-mortar store was founded in 2007 by Vanessa Barcus, a Colorado-born fashionista who became inspired by the fashion-forward mindset of LA and decided to bring cutting-edge style back to her home state. Her Campus was lucky enough to be able to talk with Barcus about her vision for Goldyn as well as her own personal style, including her must-have fashion items.

The chic and minimalist boutique has gained an impressive following in Denver for offering carefully chosen and unique designer pieces from brands like Helmut Lang, A.P.C., Loeffler Randall and Vince, as well as tons of smaller, more independent designers like Selin Kent, Elizabeth Knight and Carrie Hoffman. "Goldyn's aesthetic usually veers toward minimalist-chic, yet always with a dose of downtown edginess," Barcus says. "Occasionally we can go a bit more bohemian as well, but minimalism is usually our core look."

Goldyn's aesthetic is evident in the selection of clothing for both men and women as well as its accessories, beauty products and a drool-worthy collection of unique and statement-making jewelry. "We try to curate things that are on-trend, yet that are timeless and classic," Barcus says. "Pieces that aren't going to go out of style anytime soon and will be wardrobe staples for a while."

Goldyn's timeless approach to fashion shows in Barcus's own personal style, which draws inspiration from all facets of life: "I'm constantly inspired by art, music and different subcultures (think: punk culture, mod culture, etc.)," Barcus says. "Musicians are particularly inspiring to me - especially women like Karen O. from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or Patti Smith; strong women who aren't afraid to just be themselves and put it out there." Barcus's #GIRLBOSS approach to fashion is not only inspiring, but it translates into some pretty amazing pieces inspired by the '90s, minimalism and a variety of textures, all of which play a role in Barcus's own style.

Of course, with such amazing insight into the fashion world and such a success with Goldyn, we were super curious about what pieces and style staples Barcus can't live without, and her picks did not disappoint. Without further ado, we now present the ultra-fashionable Vanessa Barcus's five style must-haves and how to wear them, straight from the style icon herself!

1. A motorcycle jacket

"A black leather motorcycle jacket (like the one above we have coming this Fall from French line Iro, who makes leather jackets to die for) goes over anything and everything, and makes just about any outfit look a bit more bad-a$#." (Psst—since this one isn't available yet, shop this collegiette budget-friendly jacket now!)

2. Ankle boots
 
 
"Ankle boots are super versatile (you can wear them with anything from jeans to a dress), and are chic and comfortable. Rachel Comey makes my favorite style, the Mars Bootie."
 
3. A good LBD
 
 
"It sounds clichĂ©, but a good LBD is key. There's always going to be some last minute event or dinner going on, and the LBD is clutch in those situations. That doesn't mean it needs to be boring though—Helmut Lang makes insanely beautiful knit dresses that are comfortable and incredibly flattering, and always have a bit of extra detailing that ensures they're anything but plain."
 
4. Leather leggings
 
 
"Yes, I am totally serious. They're an investment, but well worth it. I pair my leather leggings with EVERYTHING: a cable knit sweater, a blazer, a ripped-up tee—you name it. They just make everything look a little cooler."
 
5. A statement piece
 
 
"Every wardrobe needs one really stunning statement piece. We just got in Ryan Roche's incredible Fall line of cashmere sweaters, including her Furry Cardigan that's a real standout—very Almost Famous. It takes an outfit from boring to show-stopping, and yet at the same time is very easily wearable."
 
 
Now that we're all thoroughly infatuated with Vanessa Barcus's one-of-a-kind style and the manifestation of that personal style in the uniquely cool Goldyn boutique, head on over to the online shop and pick up a few of your own must-have items (we know you want to). And don't forget to follow Goldyn on Instagram @shopgoldyn, Twitter @goldyn and Pinterest for the boutique's latest news as well as for some serious style inspiration.

 

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Win A $2,000 GRE Prep Course!

September 16, 2014, 10:15 am
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Applying to grad school? There’s no better way to prep for the GRE than by taking a Kaplan course! But when budgets are tight and your wallet feels a little lighter than usual, you’re looking for all the help you can get to pay those pricey prep fees.

That’s why Her Campus has teamed up with Levo League and Kaplan to give one lucky winner a free Kaplan course scholarship, valued up to $2,000! You can score a prep class at no cost, which means your path to the GRE (and to the grad school of your dreams) is about to get a whole lot more simple.

What are you waiting for? Enter HERE to win your free ride!

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How Your Fave Chick Flicks are Ruining Your Love Life

September 16, 2014, 11:00 am
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There’s no denying our absolute, undying love for chick flicks. They’re perfect when we’re looking to laugh, cry, plot revenge or just daydream of the love that is yet to come. But while we sit on our couches with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, envious of the romantic lives our favorite characters live, we may be soaking in some pretty crummy advice.

Despite their glamorous wardrobes, their perfectly timed comebacks and their ability to always live happily ever after (no matter how many times they lie, cheat and deceive!), our rom-com role models are seriously damaging the way we look at love, lust and everything in between—they’re not even ugly criers! So to help you uncover what’s legit and what’s a phony big-screen fairytale, we’ve re-watched all our go-to movies and uncovered the lessons you shouldn’t be taking from your favorite chick flicks.

Clueless

The Myth: Being dumb is super cute!

We’ll be the first to admit that Cher Horowitz’s life is downright epic. Her clothes are almost too chic for words, not to mention her fab-u-lous computer program that organizes her entire wardrobe—she was so ahead of the times! But step outside her walk-in closet, and there’s not much else going on in this girl’s head. She doesn’t follow standard traffic laws (“I totally paused!”), doesn’t keep up whatsoever with current events and advocates showing a whole lot of skin to get a guy. But it all totally works out for her and boys are tripping over themselves to get close to the—dare we say it—ditsiest girl in Beverly Hills. Because, when it comes down to it, the dumber you are, the more likely the boys will come running.

The Truth: Have beauty and brains.

You can have it all! Just because you’re gorgeous (and you totally are!) doesn’t mean you have to play down your smarts. If you’re the next Einstein, go ahead and flaunt your theory of relativity, cause your mind is one sexy thing that you need to show off. And even if you’re not a complete brainiac, that doesn’t mean you can’t work what you’ve got going on upstairs. Guys love to hear a girl throw out big words, test his opinions and just understand simple safety rules.

“I dated this girl who didn’t want me to know she was smarter than me,” says Sean, a recent grad of Penn State. “I went around thinking she was average and kind of dumb for about two months until her friend let it slip that she had a 4.0 and decided not to go to any of the Ivies she got into. Obviously we broke up, but even when we were together, I always felt like she was kind of plain and boring academically. I would have loved to ask her to help me with my calc work!”

Beauty only goes so far, but your brains are what will make him fall for you. Because, let’s get serious: you wouldn’t want to have a conversation with a guy that’s dumber than rocks, so why should he? (Bonus: you’re really not helping the whole girl power movement if you don’t show a guy up here and there with your killer smarts.)

Bride Wars

The Myth: Your relationship status is more important than the guy himself.

It’s BFF versus BFF.  Liv and Emma face off as they compete for the coveted date at the Plaza for their perfect weddings.  After a blue dye job, calorie-laden cookies and a tequila-filled spring break video, the two have essentially discarded their fiancĂ©s in pursuit of planning the most epic day.  Although Emma’s marriage crumbles before she can even say “I do,” the BFFs-turned-enemies look at their relationships as a gateway toward diamond rings, Vera Wang gowns and champagne flutes.  They’re essentially not tying the knot in the hopes of happily ever after, but rather to fulfill their childhood dreams of getting married. To them, it’s the wedding that matters, not necessarily the groom.

The Truth: Be in the relationship because you want to be with that person.

Everyone knows that girl who’s always in a relationship.  She dates a guy for two years, breaks up with him and then a week and a half later, she already has another guy on her arm.  She’s that girl who just always has to have a boyfriend so that she can say she’s not single.

But that’s not how relationships should work.  In college, there’s no rush to tie yourself down to guy after guy just to avoid using the word single—you should only change your Facebook relationship status (which is the only serious love, of course) if you legitimately want to be with someone.  For a majority of Emma’s storyline, she shacks up with her boyfriend just because she wants companionship, but she’s also willing to take that from anyone.  Don’t couple up out of desperation and distant dreams of what the relationship could be.  Focus on the guy, and everything else will come later.

John Tucker Must Die

The Myth: You can turn the player into a good guy.

John Tucker goes through girls quicker than most of us can finish off a Snickers bar during that time of the month.  Every hour it’s a new leading lady for this popular jock.  But in walks Kate, and it’s suddenly as if no other female has ever existed before. All of a sudden, the guy who had his hands up one girl’s shirt while simultaneously making out with another girl (without the two knowing!) is down for a monogamous, committed relationship. The player has been transformed!

The Truth: He won’t always change.

Listen up, collegiettes: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  Despite our best efforts, there’s no switch you can flick on and off inside a bad boy’s brain. You shouldn’t actively pursue someone you know is trouble in hopes of being the girl who can change him: it’s a waste of your time.

“I had a crush on this guy for so long. Not to quote Taylor Swift, but I knew he was trouble,” says Jamie, a junior at University of Delaware. “That didn’t stop me, though. I had this idea in my head that I could be the one girl that he fell in love with and [make] him into this wonderful, committed guy. Needless to say, it totally didn’t work out. I found out he was hooking up with me and two other girls. I would’ve never known by the way he acted, but he was a player and had this game down pat.”

What Women Want

The Myth: Guys are clueless about girls, and they don’t really care.

Nick is absolutely and completely ignorant to the wants and needs of girls until he suddenly gets electrocuted and can hear all our thoughts and our deepest secrets.  Basically, it seems like he’s got what every guy wants—a firsthand look at what we expect from our man. For the first time, he’s totally knocking it out of the park when it comes to his love.  He knows where you want to be touched and what you want to talk about.  His character single-handedly proves that guys a) don’t care about us but pretend to get it, and b) are just kind of dumb. Luckily for Nick, he uses his newfound superpower to score big time.

The Truth: Guys aren’t that stupid and they are trying; cut them a break.

One minute we’re on cloud nine, and the next we’re hysterically crying, asking our boyfriends why he doesn’t get what he did wrong.  To put it gently, sometimes we can be a little bit irrational with a side of crazy and an extra helping of dramatic.  But that’s what keeps it fun—he never knows how we’re going to react next.  Or, does he?

It all depends.  It takes time for anyone to get know us, find out what makes us tick, learn what makes us smile and decipher what triggers the waterworks.  Obviously, from the get-go he’s not going to know all of this, but if you cut your guy some slack here and there, he’ll catch on and understand you better.  Hello, he just needs to get to know you. If you realize your boyfriend isn’t a bumbling idiot and he’s just trying to figure you out, you might find a whole lot of happiness around the corner.

Legally Blonde

The Myth: You should give up everything for The One.

Elle had the life. She had friends who were obsessed with her and a crazy awesome social calendar, and she was totally going places with her fashion merchandising major.  But then her boyfriend broke up with her, and it all went downhill from there. She threw away the final months of her senior year to prep for the LSAT, and after she aced the test, she followed him across the country to Harvard Law School (Not exactly what she originally planned on doing with her life, right?). Fortunately, her quarter-life crisis and major life detour found her in the arms of another hot academic, but what are the chances of that actually happening? For all we know, Elle could have been the next Rachel Zoe.

The Truth: You should come first.

Yeah, yeah, we know: you have to think about both people in the relationship.  But that’s not exactly what we’re talking about here.  At this point in our lives, we’re too young to base our futures entirely off of someone’s plans.  Think about it this way: you spent four years of high school working toward college, and four years there working toward your future.  Do you really want to push that all aside in favor of someone else’s dreams?

So if your boyfriend doesn’t get into the same university as you, it’s not always the end of the world. You can make long distance work if you try.  But you can’t give up on your top school for a guy that may not be your boyfriend come graduation.  The same goes for after college.  When you land your dream job in New York and he gets his in Los Angeles, there’s absolutely no reason to deny the offer because of him; you’ll always wonder what could have been. 

The Notebook

The Myth: He’ll always wait for you.

Noah loves Allie and Allie loves Noah. (If only it were that easy.) When Allie leaves for the summer, Noah promises to hold onto their dying romance.  Long distance gets in the way, and when Allie assumes Noah forgot her, she moves on with her life.  But Noah, who continues to write to her every day, clings to the past and still hopes for a future with Allie. Years go by, and Allie is engaged to another man. Yet Noah still waits for the day when they’ll finally reunite.  And, in true tearjerker fashion, they do.  Their reunion is the most epic in modern-day rom-com history, solely because Noah refused to sway or move on in the least bit. 

The Truth: He won’t wait forever.

Unfortunately, our lives are most definitely not like The Notebook (sorry to break the news there). When you meet a guy in college, he won’t stick around for years, or even months, waiting for you.  And when you finally do decide to come his way, if it’s been too long, he’s not about to drop everything (and every girl) just for you.

But that also works in the reverse. Let’s be real: it’s the 21st century, and we move way too quickly to stay hung up on one person for too long. If you like a guy, let him know. If you don’t, let him know. It’s not fair to leave him hanging forever (or a few weeks), and he probably won’t stick around waiting for you to make up your mind about your feelings.

Sex and the City

The Myth: Over-analyzing will help you make better romantic decisions.

Carrie Bradshaw is the queen of overthinking things: 

“In matters of love, do actions speak louder than words?”

“Soul mate: two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart.”

“Do we need to go the distance to get close?”

Every guy, every kiss, every wink and every breath gets analyzed by Carrie.  She spends her days scrutinizing the actions of every male that has ever come her way.  In life, she ends up second-guessing almost all of her moves, and she can’t help but shake the nagging feeling inside that something isn’t right. Although in the Sex and the City movie she ends up married to the guy she chased for six TV seasons, her brain never stops questioning. No decision is made on the spot; rather, it takes her hours to go over every possible route this choice could create. It works for her on TV, but in reality? Eh


The Truth: You’ll have more fun living in the moment.

When it comes to matters of the heart in the life of a 20-something, going with your gut is often a great decision. Instead of overthinking the little things (“Would it be weird if I asked him to formal because he looked at me funny yesterday and he could be uninterested?” “What does his ‘hey’ text really mean?!”), just go with what you want to do. This is the time to have fun and learn from your mistakes. Obviously, you shouldn’t go around hooking up with just about everyone, but if you feel like letting loose once in a while, a pro/con list followed a 45-minute discussion isn’t necessary.  Don’t worry about the future; just live for now and you’ll be much better off.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The Myth: Love happens right away.

Within 10 days, Andie and Ben somehow went from hating each other to falling madly in love. Despite the fact that she acted a little on the psycho side and he hung on just to win a bet, the two ended up bonding over a day spent on Staten Island. And the rest is history. A magical almost-two-weeks of fighting, crazy antics and a dead love fern brought them their happily ever after.

The Truth: Relationships take time.

You see a guy and, most likely based on his physical looks, you’re in. Totally and completely obsessed and can’t stop thinking about him, right? Well, that’s lust at first sight; definitely not love. Love is knowing someone inside and out and understanding them better than they know themselves.  For some, love comes quickly, but for others, it takes time. Yet, no matter the case, it definitely won’t happen within 10 days (unless, of course, you’re on a deserted island with no on else to entertain you).

So don’t freak out when the fireworks don’t go off after a week of texting. You’ve got to experience life with someone (e.g. a frat party, an all-night cram session, a hungover Sunday) to really get to know him as a person enough to actually fall in love with him.

 

So, collegiettes, the next time you’re seeking your Ryan Gosling, Jesse Metcalfe, Chris Noth or Matthew McConaughey, think again before reenacting what you’ve seen on the big screen. Sure, the credits roll and everyone is all lovey-dovey, but these fictional characters’ lives are far from reality. Like Ryan Gosling would ever build you your dream house by hand? Keep dreaming. Your chances at happiness are significantly higher once you forget your favorite chick flicks!

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How She Got There: Jamie Rothfeld, Corporate Communications Manager at Hyatt

September 15, 2014, 9:00 am
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Name: Jamie Rothfeld
Age: 29
Job Title and Description: Manager, Corporate Communications, Hyatt

 What does your current job entail? Is there such a thing as a typical day?

Jamie Rothfeld: I like to say that my job requires me to wear many different hats and be a bit of an expert in everything! I handle the public relations support for the Andaz brand, Park Hyatt brand and for Hyatt’s corporate responsibility efforts. I also deal with corporate executive visibility, corporate reputation, crisis management and internal communications.

I think it’s safe to say there is never a dull moment at the office and there is no such thing as a typical day. I can go in with a full idea of what my day should look like and then it can get turned upside down—but that is all part of the fun!

What is the best part of your job?

JR: I am a true believer that the way you feel about a job is defined by the people that surround you. I am extremely lucky to have a fantastic team of corporate communications experts (that all happen to be women!) who provide me with support, advice and collaboration—all which help when it comes to my professional growth. Plus, we laugh and have fun all day at the office—it doesn’t get much better.

I would also say that traveling is the other best part of my job. I recently got back from a trip to Vienna to support the opening of Park Hyatt Vienna, and there is nothing better than traveling to amazing places, learning about new cultures, visiting our hotels and meeting our colleagues around the world who inspire me every day!

 What was your first entry-level job in your field and how did you get it?

JR: My first entry-level job was at a large-sized public relations firm based in Chicago where I worked on a variety of consumer-focused accounts. I had interned at the firm’s sister agency in Chicago right after I graduated college, and right when my internship came to a close, a spot opened at the other firm and they recommended me for the job. Talk about perfect timing!

What is one thing you wish you knew about your industry when you first started out that you know now?

JR: I wish I had known just how fast paced this industry is! You really need to be quick on your feet, and if you turn your head for a minute, you might miss something. It’s important to be quick, nimble and flexible (and you must drink a lot of coffee!).

Who is one person who changed your professional life for the better?

JR: He may not know it, but my dad has really been an inspiration to me throughout my professional career. At a young age, my dad founded his own business, which is still thriving 30 years later. His determination, passion and unwavering work ethic have really inspired me and have taught me how to have a successful and fulfilling career. My dad is also really great when it comes to giving advice on the corporate and business world, and I find myself calling him weekly to get his opinion on potential issues or conflicts.

What words of do you find most valuable?

JR: One of my colleagues has a quote up on her desk that says, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I use this as a way to think about my growth here at Hyatt. In order to excel and experience professional growth, it is important to continually take risks, push yourself and do the things that might scare you. With big risks come big rewards, and I think this type of outlook will make for a career filled with challenges, opportunities and excitement.

What is one mistake you made along the way and what did you learn from it?

JR: How much time do you have? I have made so many mistakes throughout my career, whether it be not knowing an important person in the industry or sending an email to the wrong person (that can get you in big trouble!). But, the important thing is that I have learned from all of my mistakes and am better because of it. Also, when you make a mistake, learn from it and get over it quickly. There is no sense in focusing on a negative when you can turn it into a positive.

What has been the most surreal moment of your career thus far?

JR: One of the most surreal moments I’ve had thus far in my career was securing a cover story for our CEO. This past June, he appeared on the cover of a very prominent luxury sales trade magazine, and the story covered his journey as CEO of Hyatt, the great milestones and accomplishments he has had since he joined the company and his hopes and aspirations for the company’s future. Seeing a big story I pitched come to fruition and hearing positive feedback straight from our CEO was a truly memorable and humbling moment that I won’t soon forget!

 What do you look for when considering hiring someone?

JR: When hiring somebody, I think it is most important to get a gut feeling about a candidate. While experience, recommendations and expertise are all extremely important and should be considered, the most important thing to look for is that intangible good feeling you get about a candidate. It’s important for a person to have positive energy, and to me, it’s most important that a person can jive and easily work with the rest of your team.

 What advice would you give to a 20-something with similar aspirations?

JR: For someone who is looking to explore a career in public relations, I would say that perseverance is critical. The public relations field can be very tough and competitive, so it’s important to work through the challenges that this industry can present. I promise that it is a truly rewarding, fun and exciting career that will keep you on your toes and make you excited to come to work every day.

I would also say to never give up and to always work hard for what you want. I couldn’t be happier with where I am today, and hard work, passion and drive has gotten me here. Never give up and success is yours!

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Celeb Beauty Steal: Beyoncé's Bob

September 16, 2014, 2:30 pm
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Though we've long admired BeyoncĂ©'s gorgeous locks, we’ve been loving the return of Queen Bey’s stylish bob haircut since its debut this month. It's no surprise that we draw inspiration from every aspect of Bey's look (here's proof of our BeyoncĂ© obsession!)—and when it comes to hair, there's no exception. 

Whether you already have short hair or are looking to follow suit and get your hair chopped, we've got a few simple tips and recommendations to keep the cut looking great.

Styling a Bob:

Beyoncé’s look showcases her natural texture, so if you’re looking to achieve this, try to work with your own natural texture as well. For straight-haired gals looking to achieve this beachy vibe without heat when your hair is wet, use a sea salt spray such as Not Your Mother's Beach Babe Texturizing Sea Salt Spray ($5.99), scrunch, and allow your hair to air dry. When your hair isn’t wet, use a dry shampoo on the ends of your hair and twist into loose ringlets as you work the product in. 

To achieve this look with heat, wrap two-inch sections of your hair around a curling iron at the mid-shaft point of your hair, making sure to keep the ends loose so they stay straight. For added texture, spritz with dry shampoo such as the Professionals Shampoo Dry Spray ($2.88) from Suave when you’re done, and tousle the ends with your fingers. To eliminate any frizz, try using a serum on your ends such as John Frieda Frizz-Ease ($7.99), or hair oil such as the Moroccan Sleek Oil Treatment ($4.99) from Garnier Fructis.

Other Ways to Style:

There are a few different types of styles you can achieve with this hair length:

The Blowout – Use hair oil on your ends, then blow dry your hair as you normally would. Next, curl front sections of your hair around a large-barrel curling iron, making sure that you’re wrapping the strands away from your face.

The Bombshell – For lots of volume and bounce, apply a light volumizing serum like the Root Boost spray ($2.88) from Suave on your roots before blow drying. Using a round brush, dry your hair thoroughly, making sure you curl your hair under at the ends.

Glamorous Coif – You don’t need to have long hair to create elegant hairstyles. To rock this look with short hair, work your hair into a deep side part and curl with a two-inch iron from mid-length to ends. Tuck one side section behind your ear to finish.

Sleek and Smooth – Straight strands don’t have to be boring. To start, blow dry your hair straight with a paddle brush. Next, smooth a styling balm such as the All-In-One Styling Balm  ($3.99) from Pantene through your strands with your fingers before flat ironing.  
 

Do you like Queen Bey's new look, or do your prefer her long strands? Sound off in the comments!

 

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What to Do When Your Friend Is in an Abusive Relationship

September 16, 2014, 4:00 pm
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The shock of finding out that your friend is in an abusive relationship might make you feel incapable of giving her the support she needs. Thankfully, there are many resources to help both you and your friend get through this. We asked experts for the telling signs that you should be worried about your friend’s relationship as well as the steps you should take if her SO’s behavior is unacceptable.

How to tell if your friend’s relationship is abusive

There are many signs that could tip you off that your friend’s relationship is abnormal and harmful. Jessica Ladd-Webert, LPC, director of the Office of Victim Assistance at the University of Colorado Boulder, lists some of the signs of an abusive relationship:

  • Your friend’s partner constantly puts her down.
  • Your friend gives up on things that are important to her because of her relationship, such as school, family, friends or hobbies.
  • Her partner gets overly angry and has unpredictable mood swings.
  • Your friend is embarrassed by her partner’s behavior towards her.
  • Her partner makes all the decisions in their relationship and is overly controlling.
  • Her partner reads your friend’s messages and calls her very frequently to check up on her.
  • Your friend’s SO manipulates her with guilt, insults and/or threats.
  • Her SO threatens to harm her, him/herself and/or others.
  • Her partner destroys your friend’s property.
  • Her partner threatens or harms her pets.
  • Her partner harms your friend physically, by pushing, shoving, slapping or hitting her.
  • Her partner forces her into unwanted sexual activity.

If you notice any of these signs, you should talk to your friend. Then, you two can work through it together.

Rebecca*, a senior collegiette, saw some of these signs. “My friend Kira* went to school a little ways away from me, so I never even met the guy,” Rebecca says. “All I knew for sure was that he was into some pretty scary drugs and 
 had a lot of anger management issues, and she saw the brunt of that.”

How to approach her if she hasn’t told you

Even if you have noticed that your friend’s relationship is harming her, it’s possible that she is either denying it or hasn’t realized it herself. The right thing to do is to “express concern and empower your friend to make her own decisions,” advises Denisha A. Champion, a counselor at the Wake Forest University Counseling Center. “A person may not realize that they are being abused, may feel very in love with their abuser or feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about what is happening for fear that they are just imagining it.”

This was – and still is – the case for a friend of Ashley*, a sophomore collegiette. “[My friend’s boyfriend] was very insecure, jealous and did not trust my friend at all,” Ashley says. Her friend spent most of her year in her dorm talking to her boyfriend, did not meet anyone new and always defended her partner when Ashley and her other friends tried to warn her about him.

In order to help your friend realize what’s happening, you have to reassure her that you are on her side. Tell her that you’re worried about her and that she deserves better treatment. “Be specific,” Ladd-Webert says. “Avoid putting down her partner’s whole personality. Say, ‘When so-and-so insults you in front of us, I get worried,’” for example.

Don’t make any accusations, and don’t act like you know exactly what the situation is like. Instead, make sure to listen, because “your friend may be confused about her relationship,” Ladd-Webert says. “Use 'I' statements and avoid telling her what to do; make observations about what you are seeing and hearing.”

You should find out the resources that are available to your friend and suggest them to her, but, most importantly, you should “avoid taking control of the situation,” Ladd-Webert says. “Talk with a confidential counselor or advocate who understands the dynamics of intimate partner abuse.”

Finally, don’t forget about your own well-being, because “it can be very hard to see someone you care about in this kind of relationship, especially if they go back and forth a lot,” Ladd-Webert says. Use your school’s counseling center for advice for what you should do for your friend, but also to helpyou stay strong in this difficult situation.

How to react if your friend tells you about her abusive relationship

The best thing to do if your friend comes to you for help is to “listen actively and be supportive,” says Abbey L. Carter Logan, a clinical counselor at the Ohio State University Counseling and Consultation Service. “Take a non-judgmental attitude and just let your friend talk to you so she knows that she can trust you. Let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk or if she feels unsafe.”

Additionally, and although this might seem intuitive, you should always make a point to believe your friend, “even if you personally know the partner and are shocked to learn that [he or she] might be engaging in abusive behaviors,” Champion says.

Your friend is much more likely to downplay the abuse she is experiencing than she is to make it up. “[Kira] told me that her boyfriend would go into a fit of rage, but she always insisted that it was because he cared about her,” Rebecca. “She never eluded to the fact that he would hit her.”

You have legitimate reasons to be angry with your friend’s partner, especially if you knew and trusted him or her, but “do not try to take on the abusive partner yourself or try to get between [your friend and her SO],” Carter Logan advises. “This has the potential to isolate your friend further and will make it more difficult for her to talk with you in the future.”

Finally, encourage your friend to seek out support, and make sure she knows the resources that are available to help her on and off campus. Check out the next section to find out where to go.

Which resources should you and your friend turn to?

You and anyone else your friend has confided in are her first resources; don’t underestimate how much you can do for her. Even if she refuses to go to counseling at first, your ongoing support and understanding could eventually change her mind. “If informal support, like friends and family, respond in a positive, supportive way, this will increase the likelihood that the person in the abusive relationship will seek formal support,” Ladd-Webert explains.

After the summer when Kira reported her boyfriend's abusive behavior to Rebecca, both girls went back to their respective schools. “All I felt I could do was insist that she break up with him and report his behavior with the school,” Rebecca says. After many arguments between the two friends, Kira finally broke things off with her abusive partner and obtained a school-issued restraining order against him. When you seek formal support for you and your friend, a counselor might suggest you do the same and help you with the process.

Formal support refers to “a confidential advocate or counselor who is knowledgeable about the cycle of violence and abuse,” Ladd-Webert says. Thankfully, there are many such services on college campuses. Research your school’s counseling services and find out how to set up an appointment for you, your friend, or both of you. This is usually done over the phone so that you can answer a few questions before the appointment.

With that in mind, don't make an appointment for your friend without consulting her first. Many schools' counseling centers won't let you set up a session for someone else, but even if yours does, you should “avoid taking control or telling your friend in the abusive relationship what to do,” Ladd-Webert says. “She is already dealing with this in her relationship.”

Both the National Domestic Violence Hotline and The Red Flag Campaign are comprehensive websites on which you will find information about abusive relationships, a list of local counseling services and numbers to call in order to get help for you and your friend.

Depending on the seriousness of your friend’s situation, domestic violence professionals will either help her get out of her relationship or direct her to police in cases where there were threats or physical abuse.

Having a friend in an abusive relationship is a horrible situation to be in, and it’s the kind of thing we think only happens to others. Unfortunately, abuse on college campuses is common. According to the Counseling & Testing Center at the University of Oregon, 57 percent of reported abusive relationships happened in college. This is why it’s essential that you know which resources to turn to if you find yourself having to help a friend.

The good news is that your friendly support is one of the best resources for her to begin separating herself from her abusive partner. You should empower your friend, let her know that what’s happening is not her fault and encourage her to seek out professional help. You are strong and so is she; neither of you should ever forget that.

*Names have been changed.

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17 Signs You Go to College in the South

September 16, 2014, 5:00 pm
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Whether you've found your way to the South as an out-of-stater or you're a homegrown Southern belle, you know that you're one of the lucky ones. You've managed to find your way to one of the best places in the country to go to school, and you're about to have a great time. The schools of the South are unlike anything in this world. Here are some things you'll experience going to a Southern university. 

1. Girls dress up for a tailgate like they're going to a semi-formal event. 

We want to look great while we have a great time. Nothing wrong with that. 

2. Football isn't just a sport; it's a way of life. 

You've seen grown men cry over this sport. 

3. You own one pair of cowboy boots, at least. 

And you don't wear them as a part of a Halloween costume. 

4. You like your tea like you like your men: strong and sweet.

You become pretty great at judging the sweetness after just a sip. 

5. You've bought yourself some camo, even though you've never been hunting in your life. 

Hey, it's a trend. 

6. Sorority girls are everywhere, and they make the whole Nike-shorts-and-an-oversized-T-shirt outfit with a full face of makeup and perfectly done hair look like a totally normal thing. 

And a lady always looks her best. 

7. When someone says "Bless your heart," you know what they really mean. 

And it isn't what you initially thought.

8. The first few weeks (or months) of school have a weather forecast of "hot,""hot and humid" or "hot, humid and miserable."

So don't bother doing your hair. 

9. You always resent the fact that Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays.  

And you will never stop craving it on that godforsaken day. Ever. 

10. You may not fully understand the reasoning behind the Lilly Pulitzer fad, but now you know it's not just a fad.

It is a lifestyle that every Southern woman embraces.

11. Similarly, you wonder why people think Chacos are a good idea on a daily basis. 

They're what you're mom would call, "a sensible shoe," mixed with Jesus sandals. 

12. You know how angry it makes some people if you forget to write a thank-you note.

"Could you believe she didn't even send a thank-you note? So rude."

13. School has shut down before because of the threat of snow.

Hell, the entire city has shut down because of a single flake.  

14. If you're a transplant, your face looked something like this when you first said "y'all." 

"What have I done?!"

15. And your Southern friends were like, 

"It has finally happened."

16. The first time someone answered your professor with a, "Yes, ma'am," you were like, 

Maybe it's all the sweet tea that makes the people so daggum sweet. 

17. The parties at your school put parties at schools in other parts of the country to shame. 

Yes, Leo. Yes, we do. 

 

So when life gives you lemons, put them in your sweet tea and thank your lucky stars that you're in the South!

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Ask a Collegiette: Choosing the Right College for You

September 16, 2014, 9:00 pm
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Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!

How do you prepare to choose a college that would suit yourself well? – Julianna

Julianna,

I don’t know if I can give you a simple answer to this question since it’s pretty multifaceted, but I’m going to try my best!

To start the whole process, go to a local college fair to get an idea of what some of your options are. Once you know more about certain schools, ask yourself three necessary questions to get your personal search going:

First, start simple and ask yourself, “Do I want to stay in state for college, or am I willing to travel out of state for my education?” This helps you to have a basis for how you’ll search for schools. When I was deciding on a college, this was one of the first decisions I made. I knew I would be perfectly content traveling out of state, but I didn’t want to be so far away that it would take longer than a full day to drive back home, so I settled on a school about eight hours from where I’m from.

Next, find out if potential schools offer your major. This is pretty important; clearly if you want to study journalism, for example, you’re not going to attend a school that doesn’t offer it! If you’ll be starting school undeclared, does the school you’re considering have a wide variety of majors, or do they have any majors you’re interested in or would consider? Keep in mind that a large majority of freshmen change their college majors, so make sure your school is flexible when it comes to changing your major in case you decide to do so. Some universities also require you to apply for specific schools related to your major within the university. Attending a university that does this may not be the best option for you if you aren’t completely sure what you want to do, or if you plan to have a degree with multiple different varieties of studies.

Finally, you need to ask yourself if you can afford the schools you have considered. Remember: Don’t let the sticker price of a school’s tuition scare you away, since you can apply for financial aid! At the same time, you don’t want to go to a school you know you’ll never be able to afford even with financial aid, since having extremely large amounts of student debt can be a scary reality. Just keep an open mind about your situation, and find out the amount of financial aid schools will offer you based on your FAFSA to get a better idea of what you’ll be paying. The next step would then be to factor in finances for traveling back and forth to your school if you’ll be out of state in order to make sure you have enough gas money and resources to travel as needed.

After you’ve gone through these three points and narrowed down a couple schools, then you’ll be able to start scheduling campus visits. Finally, all of the years you’ve spent dreaming about picturesque campuses ever since you saw how pimped out PCA was in Zoey 101 (and that was only a boarding school!) are finally coming around! This is definitely the more fun and exciting part of choosing a school; you’ll often get some free swag and you’ll be able to decide whether or not you can picture yourself walking around the campus every day. To make the most of your visit, bring a list of questions to ask your tour guide as well as a camera to take photos of the campus so you can look back on it later. You should also take notes throughout the tour of the various aspects of the campus you liked and didn’t like to assist you in making a decision later on. Make sure your notes include observations other than the fact that there are a ton of attractive guys on campus!

If you can’t visit a campus for whatever reason, visit their website and see if they offer a virtual tour on the site so that you can get a glimpse into what the school is like. Even though this is a great resource, nothing compares to visiting a campus in person, so make it a priority to go and visit. Since my college is out of state and I had to figure out a plan to get there, I wasn’t able to visit the school until October of my senior year of high school. Thankfully, when I arrived I felt right at home, and so once I got accepted early action in November, I knew it was where I needed to be.

I’m going to use an always-acceptable Steve Jobs quote to help you to know whether or not a college is suited to you during a visit: “If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.” The only one who can decide whether or not a school is suited for you is, well, you! Don’t overthink the process too much; trust your instincts and allow them to help guide you towards the best school.

Despite your best preparation efforts, you might find that a school still doesn’t “fit” you well even after you get there. If this happens to you and you’re truly struggling to continue there (for good reasons), you can always transfer to another college if you need to. It’s not ideal, but don’t ever feel like you’re trapped at a school once you’ve made your choice. College is supposed to be fun and one of the biggest investments you’ll make into your future, so don’t settle for anything less than amazing!

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