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5 Clingy Habits That Are Ruining Your Love Life

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Clinginess is good—when it comes to your favorite pair of skinny jeans. When it comes to relationships? Not so much. Even though our clingy ways only manifest “because we care,” they’re still not healthy, and when we take them too far, we run the risk of alienating our SOs. It’s kind of like killing a plant by overwatering it.

But don’t freak out, because we’ve talked to experts to identify the top clingy things you do and how to stop. Your little love fern (name that movie!) will have a long, healthy life.

1. You need to be in constant contact

You and your boyfriend just had a super-fun hiking date, and now he’s dropping you off at your apartment so you can take a shower and relax a bit before grabbing dinner together. You kiss him goodbye, skip inside… and then send him a text telling him how much fun you had.

After you get out of the shower, you notice your puppy doing something adorable, so you send him a quick Snapchat. Then, while browsing through Facebook, you see a funny article you know he’ll love, so you tag him in a comment.

Does this scenario sound familiar? With all of our different communication options, it’s easy to stay in touch with your SO 24/7. But this gets annoying, fast — and can make your girlfriend or boyfriend feel totally smothered.

“It feels like an invasion of privacy,” explains Dr. Ish Major, a certified psychiatrist and relationship expert. “‘She already texted me today; why is she hitting me up on Facebook? I talked to her last night; why are we Snapchatting, why are we Instagramming?’ At some point, it starts to feel like she’s checking up on you.”

How to stop it

To gauge how much interaction is too much, hang back for a couple of days and see how often your SO texts, calls, Snaps, etc. Maybe you talk just as much as you always have, in which case, awesome; you’re not being stifling! But if you go from having a “goodnight phone convo” every night to once a week, that’s a clear sign that the Noah to your Allie (or the Allie to your Allie) wants to communicate a little less often.

“If he [or she] is texting, text back. Take his [or her] lead on that — don’t exceed it,” Dr. Major says. “Two to three texts per day is plenty. And keep social media check-ins to a minimum. Let [your SO] have that, since you’ve got the phone calls and you’ve got the texts.”

2. You shut out your SO’s friends

It’s really common to think your GF or BF’s group is a bad influence or just that they spend too much time together. Or maybe you don’t know why you don’t like his or her friends — you just do!

Your lack of enthusiasm for your SO’s squad can manifest itself in a lot of ways (unless you have J-Law-level acting skills). You probably encourage your boyfriend or girlfriend not to hang out with them, or you make comments like, “Carly is kind of annoying” or you refuse to engage with them when they’re around.

Unfortunately, Dr. Major says this can be a huge deal-breaker.

“Guys and girls hate when their partners start doubting the friends — when the partners think they’re the only good role models,” he says.

To some extent, your SO’s posse is a package deal. When you started dating him or her, you also signed up for his or her group. On the other hand, you’re definitely not obligated to put up with super-sketchy behavior all in the name of love.

How to stop it

If you have a legit reason to dislike one of your partner’s friends — like she’s always encouraging your partner to break up with you — then you should definitely have an honest discussion about the issue.

“Be open and tell your partner what’s worrying you,” says Jay Hurt, relationship coach and author of The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship. “You can work through it together. Don’t just say, ‘I don’t like that person’ and leave it at that.”

However, if it’s a trust or insecurity problem on your end, you’ll have to take a different approach.

According to Dr. Major, you have to put faith in your SO.

“You’ve got to trust him to know he’s with you, and he’s not going to do anything that would hurt the relationship — regardless of his friends,” Dr. Major says. But he says ultimatums don’t work. “You’re trying to change behavior or friends he’s had for years,” Dr. Major says. “Nine times out of 10, you’ll be the one left in the cold.”

And if you don’t trust your SO to respect you, that probably means you shouldn’t be together.

3. You seek positive affirmation 24/7

Not knowing the answer might be fun when you’re playing Clue, but when your heart’s at stake? You definitely want to know the deal. Unfortunately, this can lead you to constantly ask your boyfriend or girlfriend how he or she feels about you.

“Some women ask a thousand and one questions,” Dr. Major says. “Why are we together, what do you like about me, etc. In the honeymoon stage, it’s great because we want to profess our love — we want to shout it from the rooftops! But over time, it gets very old.”

If you’re always forcing your SO to compliment you or verbally show that he or she cares, your SO will start resenting you and will be even less likely to tell you sweet stuff.

How to stop it

Ironically, you should use your words.

“The idea in your partner’s mind is, ‘Hey, I’m here with you, we’re in contact, we’re seeing each other, that’s should be enough to let you know I’m into you,’” Dr. Major says. “We forget to say it — but our SOs need to hear it.”

So instead of constantly pestering your boyfriend or girlfriend with questions like, “Are you still into me?” or, “Where do we stand?”, give him or her a reminder that you need positive affirmation.

“Say, ‘I appreciate everything you do. You show it to me. But it sure would be nice to hear it every now and then,’” Dr. Major says. “Just a reminder — that’s all it takes.”

He also says we should cut our SOs a little slack and recognize they’re showing their affection through their actions. For example, it might not be your boyfriend’s style to go all Romeo and compare you to the sun or your hand to a shrine or whatev, but if he’s bringing you Starbucks at work, hello — he cares. (Did Romeo ever bring Juliet a Chestnut Praline Latte? We think not.)

4. You do everything together

Pop quiz: When was the last time you two spent some time apart? Was it when one of you visited the bathroom? If yes, then Houston, we have a problem.

“It’s kind of a cliché, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder,” Hurt says. “You need a little distance to appreciate what you have.”

But walking the line between enough time together and too much can be kind of tricky. Just what is “too much,” anyway?

“I’d say two or three times a week is a lot. If it’s more than that, that’s a clue you’re spending a lot of time together,” Dr. Major says. “You don’t need to spend five out of the seven days together. Not even four.”

There’s another way to tell if you’re being clingy.

“If you’re not developing relationships with other people, if you’re isolating yourself with your SO, then you’re spending too much time together,” Hurt says. While it may feel like you and your SO are the only people in the world, there will definitely come a time when you need connections with your friends, family and so on. Don’t neglect them now, or you’ll regret it later.

How to stop it

Dr. Major suggests relying on your own group more. For example, if your partner wants to go to a concert with friends, call up your friends and see if they want to grab some dinner. That way you’ll remain independent — and still enjoy your night!

Plus, when you’re in a relationship, it’s good to have your own interests. You feel more fulfilled, and you don’t have to rely on your SO for entertainment.

“Everyone wants to feel good about who we’re dating,” Dr. Major says. “We want to feel we’re dating an independent woman who’s got her own life that doesn’t revolve around us. That makes the time we do spend together even better.”

5. You drop all your other obligations for your SO

The last time your girlfriend asked you to hang out when you already had plans, what did you say? Did you tell her you couldn’t, so you guys should do something a different day? Did you invite her along to whatever you had planned? Did you cancel your first obligation so you and your GF could be together?

While wanting to be available for your girlfriend or boyfriend all.the.time sounds romantic in theory, it implies that you consider everything in your life to be less valuable than your SO. We highly doubt that nothing — college, your best friends, your family, your hobbies — all come second to your SO all of the time.

And while it seems counterintuitive, your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want you to be available 24/7, either. The more available something is, the less attractive it may seem (Thank you, “supply and demand” chapter of our Econ 101 textbooks!).

How to stop it

You definitely shouldn’t lie to your partner and tell him or her you’re busy when you’re not. But don’t stop making other plans, whether they’re things you do by yourself (like reading at a coffee shop, going for a run or practicing your photo skills) or with other people. And if your SO asks what you have going on, don’t cancel those plans so you can be with him or her.

This will probably be a little hard at first, like only watching one episode of Gilmore Girls at a time when you really want to binge-watch the whole day away. However, by making your relationship last longer, you’ll actually have more opportunities to be with your boo.

If you’re exhibiting any of these four behaviors, then just remember, the road to clinginess is paved with good intentions. However, by recognizing what makes you come across as needy, you can change your ways. Confidence, independence and healthy relationship, here you come!


17 Things That Happen When You're at Your Hometown Bar

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Call it the product of living in a small town, but it seems like these days there are only a few bars worth attending in your hometown. Too bad that everyone else knows about them, too. The result? Every night out during winter break is like the high school reunion that you never asked for. 

1. Why does everyone congregate at this bar? It's like the high school class of 2011 watering hole. 

And class of 2010 and 2009, really? 2008? Why are you people still in this bar? 

2. Oh, wait, there are some girls from the grade below you...

Pretty sure they're not 21. 

3. Whatever, you and your friends will just grab some drinks and find a spot to judge everyone. 

It's what you all do best. 

4. Look who's here. It's Amy, the girl who stole your boyfriend senior year. You wish you could just...

It might've been four years ago, but I will still cut you, Amy. 

5. And there are all of your high school exes in one place. How convenient. 

Not.

6. Everyone is treating you like you haven't changed a bit since you graduated high school. 

It's been four years. That's not true, right? Right?!

7. Why are we all hugging one another? 

You probably couldn't even tell me what college I go to without consulting Facebook.

8. "Let's grab coffee! I'd love to catch up!"—That girl who was never nice to you. Ever. 

How about we don't and say we did. 

9. Was that your high school crush you just saw?

Yup, still hot. 

10. Weren't we supposed to wait a few more years before getting together to humblebrag?

Humblebragging is nice when it's you doing the bragging, but this is just annoying. 

11. Let's pretend it's not totally weird to dance with a guy in front of the people who watched you go through puberty. 

Just kidding, it's way too awkward.

12. Wow, it's like every girl you've ever known is in the bathroom right now.

And it looks like Carla is still a drunk crier. 

13. Some things never change. 

Except you. You've changed. But the girls dancing on the bar are the girls you always knew would be dancing on the bar. 

14. If you have to tell one more person what you're doing after you graduate, you're going to explode. 

This is worse than what happens at family parties. Especially because it seems like everyone has their life together but you.

15. You're going to need another shot—or four—if you're going to stay here all night.

Keep 'em coming. 

16. You really lucked out with your group of high school friends. 

Because who else would have endured this pain with you?

17. Some of these people aren't half bad, but you'll probably find another bar to go to next weekend. 

And every weekend for the rest of your life. 

Could Your Bra Save Your Life?

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Could your bra save your life? We bet you’ve never had such a dramatic thought while getting dressed in the morning, but the British organization Coppafeel! thinks it’s possible. The charity’s self-reported goal is to “stamp out late detection of breast cancer” by encouraging women (and men) of all ages to check themselves regularly for “anything that doesn’t feel right.” The organization’s founder was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 23, which inspired her to get the word out about the importance of early detection. One of the group’s projects is called “#BraHijack,” and the plan is a very simple one: Put self exam reminder tags on bras to reach women on a daily basis. They’ve partnered with a few companies so far, and are looking to work with more in the future.  

The American Cancer Society recommends women over 40 get a mammogram every year, but women in their 20s and 30s are advised to get clinical breast exams (CBEs) only every 3 years. Because breast cancer is not on the minds of many young people, collegiettes may not think to check their breasts for irregularities except for during their CBE. For this reason, these tags are a great way to spread the word to young people that they should make sure everything is normal on a regular basis. Whether they’ll be very effective is another question. While purchasers will notice the tags when they first get the bra, it is unlikely that people will continue to notice the tag after owning the bra for a while, so its success may be limited. After all, when is the last time you read your bras' tags? We know one thing, however—it certainly can’t hurt!

What do you think, collegiettes? Will reminder tags be helpful? Should all bras have them?

The Disney Princesses’ New Year’s Resolutions

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The Disney princesses are many things: brave, strong, kind and timeless.  However, they’re not perfect.  Just because they’re living happily ever after doesn’t mean there isn’t room for self-improvement in their lives!  Here’s what our favorite Disney princesses hope to accomplish in 2015.

Ariel: Go vegan.

When Ariel became human, she insisted that her castle provide her with vegetarian options.  However, she was horrified when she looked closely at her soy sauce label and saw it included anchovy paste. Who knows what other seemingly innocuous foods might include fish? This year, Ariel will switch to an all-vegan diet to avoid the possibility that she might ever accidentally consume her best friend, Flounder.

Snow White: Spend more time in the sun.

At her last medical checkup, Snow White learned that having skin as white as snow might be an indication she has a vitamin D deficiency. Her doctor recommended she get out of the dark, enchanted forest and into the sun. This year she’s planning on getting a sunroom installed into the castle. Maybe she’ll even get a tan!

Belle: Get through Proust’s In Search of Lost Time.

We all know about Belle’s affection for books.  She’s already gotten through all the Harry Potter books, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the available books in the Game of Thrones series.  Now she wants to go back to her French roots and tackle this seven-volume French masterpiece. After spending so much time in a small provincial town, Belle could use some complex Modernist literature.

Tiana: Get a good review from Gordon Ramsay.

The Princess and the Frog ends with this heroine finally starting her own restaurant, Tiana’s Palace.  If you’re like Tiana and love watching Hell’s Kitchen, you’re familiar with its host, the culinary curmudgeon Gordon Ramsay.  Because Tiana’s a smart businesswoman, she’s looking for international acclaim by getting this Scottish chef’s positive endorsement.

Pocahontas: Join an NGO.

Pocahontas knows all too well what it’s like for strangers to come in and interfere with your community.  This year, she’s interested in joining a non-governmental organization (or NGO), because many of these nonprofit organizations do the opposite: travel to help developing countries.  Considering Pocahontas’s interest in nature, she’ll probably volunteer to work with a program focused on helping the environment, like the World Wildlife Fund or Greenpeace.

Cinderella: Host weekly girls’ nights.

Although she has Prince Charming, Cinderella has been feeling lonely.  She recently figured out her problem: all of her friends are mice and birds.  This year, Cinderella vows to chat up her royal cabinet and start going to parties in hopes of making some close (human) friends.  As nice as it is to have rodents who do your work for you, nothing can replace a tight-knit group of girl friends.

Jasmine: Practice dancing once a day.

In the past few decades, several Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King have been adapted into Broadway musicals and Aladdin is the latest movie to follow this trend. With Princess Jasmine gracing the Great White Way, she'll have to practicing her dancing and listen  to plenty of show tunes to stay on point. Right now she’s Spotifying the original cast recording of Kismet: A Musical Arabian Night, a 1953 Broadway musical.

Mulan: Write a memoir.

Mulan didn’t wait around for a prince to save her—she dressed up as a man to bring honor to her family and ended up with an incredible story about how far bravery and resourcefulness can take you. Now that Mulan is back with her family, everyone keeps asking about that time the emperor bowed to her. She wants to get started on a memoir so that by this time next year she’ll be on the top of the New York Times Best Seller list.

Aurora: Stop taking power naps.

There’s nothing wrong with taking a 20-minute nap to energize yourself. Aurora, however, can’t seem to shake her habit of oversleeping and tends to wake up from her naps several days later.  This year, Aurora wants to get eight hours of sleep each night so she’s not tempted to sleep during the day and potentially miss her princess duties.

Rapunzel: Take self defense classes.

One of Rapunzel’s most prized possessions is her frying pan—it’s a helpful weapon when it comes to warding off enemies. However, recently, Eugene Fitzherbert (better known as Flynn Rider) wanted to make scrambled eggs but couldn’t find the frying pan because Rapunzel needed it for protection. Her resolution is to learn how to defend herself without kitchen appliances so that Eugene can enjoy his breakfast.

Merida: Learn how to juggle fire.

Like many people, Merida wants to use the New Year to learn a new skill.  However, she’s already adept in archery and swordplay.  She has also become an expert in juggling her royal responsibilities.  So Merida figures she’ll pick up juggling fire because, well, why not?  She’s certainly brave enough (see what we did there?).

Elsa: Sign up for anger management classes.

Disney recently introduced two of its newest princesses in the movie Frozen.  Throughout the movie, Elsa finds it hard to control her magical ability of creating ice and snow.  This year, she’s going to start attending anger management classes to prevent any further accidental incidences of harm against her sister, Princess Anna.

 

If these princesses are able to stick to their resolutions, their happy endings might turn into “even more happily ever after.” Until it’s time for 2016 resolutions…

Can’t get enough of the Disney princesses? Check out what the Disney princesses would be like in college!

Beauty Hacks: What to Use When You Run Out of Your Fave Products

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So, you're back on campus after being gone for break, and it's not until you need shaving cream that you remember you ran out at the end of last semester and were supposed to stock up before heading back to school. Oops. And since it's winter and you've probably already gone one too many days without shaving, one more day just isn't an option. So what do you do? Fortunately, most of our beauty essentials can be replaced by other products when you're stuck in a rut. The beauty hacks below will show you how to get away with looking your best, even when you've run out of your favorite products!

You're Out Of: Blush or Cheek Stain
Try: Lipstick 

A quality lipstick is a fabulous asset to your cosmetic bag and works in multiple ways. Make your own cream blush by applying it to the back of your hand, then warming it up with your finger before dabbing it onto the apples of your cheeks. Use a different finger to blend the product upward for an even, natural-looking finish. 

You're Out Of: Shaving Cream
Try: Hair Conditioner 

When you find yourself out of shaving cream last minute, solve the problem quickly by applying some of your hair conditioner to the area that needs attention for the perfect substitute. Hair conditioner can dull the blade of your razor a bit sooner than traditional shaving cream, so be aware of this if you plan on permanently using hair conditioner as a shaving cream substitute. On the bright side, its thick, rich texture will help protect your skin and makes your hair softer.

You're Out Of: Makeup Remover
Try: Olive Oil  

Just like olive oil is good for your body, it's excellent for your skin as well. The healthy fats it contains helps to plumps and moisturizes your skin, while the antioxidants will assist in fighting free radicals, which will slow the aging process of your complexion. Plus, it's eco-friendly and budget-friendly. Score!

You're Out Of: Leave-In Conditioner
Try: DIY Leave-In Conditioner with Conditioner and Water 

Having a bottle of pre-packaged, name brand leave-in conditioner is clutch, but sometimes the product runs out at the worst timepossible. Fix your problem quickly by combining some of your regular conditioner with water in a spray bottle, and spray the product onto your ends as desired. 

You're Out Of: Toner
Try: Apple Cider Vinegar

Using toner after cleansing your skin and before moisturizing works wonders for absorbing any excess oil your skin may have produced. It also helps to clarify your skin and clear off anything you may have missed when rinsing your face clean. Apple cider vinegar is an awesome purifying agent that works as an astringent, so use it as a toner, especially along your T-zone if you're prone to acne to help prevent breakouts. 

You're Out Of: Blotting Papers
Try: Coffee Filters

Since they're made with similar ingredients as packaged blotting papers, coffee filters are an easy way to absorb any excess oil from your skin to reduce shine. While traveling, you can also use the disposable toilet seat covers some public restrooms provide, as they're another on-the-go blotting paper substitute. 

What are your favorite beauty hacks, collegiettes? Tell us in the comments!

5 Hairstyles That Are Easier Than They Look

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If you’ve ever found yourself on hair and beauty Pinterest boards while procrastinating, you know how glamourous the styles are. You might look at the hair tutorials and think, “How could I ever do that with my hair?” before hopelessly scrolling to the desserts section.

No longer, collegiettes! We’re here to give you the confidence to master hairstyles you’ve always wanted to try. These five are a lot easier than they look, so get your hair products and accessories ready!

1. Headband Tuck


This boho-chic style is super easy to recreate in less than one minute, so it’s perfect for the days when you’re in a rush to get to class. Treasures & Travels, a Vancouver-based lifestyle blog, created this easy tutorial so you can get the look yourself!

Directions

  1. Place an elastic headband of your choice over the top of your hair.
  2. Gather the ends of your strands together, as if you were getting ready to make a ponytail.
  3. Tuck the ends up into the back of your headband.
  4. Roll all of the hair into your headband until it’s all tightly rolled around.

 

2. Inside-Out Ponytail


Throwing your strands up into a simple high or low ponytail may be your usual routine, but it’s easy to rock your trusted hairstyle in a new way without much effort. This hairstyle inspo from Bustle will take you less than a minute to master and will up your ponytail game from 0 to 100 in no time. Bonus perk: It’s totally internship and workday appropriate, so feel free to wear this inside-out ponytail the next time you’re headed into the office!

Directions

  1. Pull and tie all of your hair into a low ponytail in the back.
  2. Create a small hole at the base of the ponytail (above the band) with your fingers.
  3. Bring your ponytail through the hole, flipping your strands inside out.

 

3. Messy Fishtail Braid


Ever since Blake Lively donned a messy fishtail braid to the premiere of Savages in New York City back in 2012, we’ve been obsessed with every possible variation of fishtail braids. If anyone can set a hairstyle trend, it’s the flawless Gossip Girl goddess and soon-to-be mom!

Instead of a traditional fishtail, try the double-braid look featured in the photo above. As tricky as it looks to master, it’s actually pretty simple. Collegiettes with both straight and wavy hair can rock this style, which works best with long hair. Check out this tutorial from PoPular Haircuts and sport this flirty style at your next sorority mixer or girls’ night out.

Directions

  1. Create one small fishtail braid on one side of your hair, whichever side you prefer. Secure with bobby pins and small, clear elastics if needed.
  2. Style a large and loose twisted fishtail braid with the rest of your hair, securing the end with a clear elastic band. For directions on how to create a traditional fishtail braid, check out this video tutorial from Luxy Hair.
  3. Use bobby pins to secure any strands you want to stay put.
  4. Pull a few long pieces of your hair to the front of your look for a boho vibe.

 

4. The Half-Crown Braid


Another trendy braided hairstyle, this half-crown braid involves braiding two small sections of your hair and then having them meet together behind your head. It’s perfect for when you’re in a rush, but you still need the perfect #IWokeUpLikeThis selfie for Instagram. Christina, the talented blogger behind Hair Romance, shows us how it’s done. Just make sure you have two small clear hair elastics and some bobby pins on hand to secure the style!

Directions

  1. Take a 1-to-2-inch section of your hair on one side, whichever you prefer, above your ear.
  2. Split the section into three parts and braid it.
  3. Angle your braid towards the back of your head, securing the end with one of your clear plastic elastics.
  4. Repeat this process with a section of hair on the opposite side of your head.
  5. Secure the first braid with bobby pins in the back of your head.
  6. Cross your second braid over the first one, tucking the end in behind the first braid.
  7. Secure the entire look in place with additional bobby pins as needed, and spray with a light hair spray if desired.

 

5. The Bow Bun


This adorable hairstyle isn’t just for your little sister – it’s perfect for collegiettes, too! This feminine and girly hair bow is super easy to create, even though it may look like it’s only for professionals. You’ll be turning heads all night long with this cute style, since it’s a major conversation starter and the perfect finishing touch to an edgy outfit. Kate from Running on Happiness helps you get the look yourself in five simple steps.

Directions

  1. Gather all of your hair into a high ponytail.
  2. Loop your locks through an elastic of your choice, creating a messy top bun. Make sure you leave the ends of the loose strands out and in the front!
  3. Divide the bun in half from the middle.
  4. Gather all of the loose ends into one small section and pull them directly back behind the bun.
  5. Pin the bow together with bobby pins as needed.

 


All of these hairstyles will have you strutting across campus with confidence; they’re chic, trendy and selfie-worthy. Whether you’re heading out on a date, going to class or hanging out with the girls, give one of these HC-approved looks a shot!
 

11 Things All Lesbians Are Sick of Hearing

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To our lesbian collegiettes, we know you’ve heard all of these so many times that you can probably recite this list without even looking at it. Straight people can just be so totally fascinated with you because you’re like special, sparkly unicorns... except unicorns don’t have to answer dumb questions. Here are some of the questions you’ve probably been asked a million times.

1. Does that mean you’re attracted to me?

Being a lesbian doesn’t mean that we’re attracted to every single girl on earth. So, no. Definitely not.

2. Have you ever tried dating a guy? 

Have you ever tried dating a girl?

3. So, who’s the guy in your relationship?

Uh… neither of us? Because we’re both girls?

4. I wish I was a lesbian. Dating would be so much easier.

Let’s do some simple math: We have two girls. That means two times the overthinking, stressing and, of course, PMS (which usually happens at the same time when your cycles sync up). Still wish you were a lesbian? Didn’t think so.

5. But you don’t LOOK like a lesbian.

Sorry I left the rainbow flag at home. Will the abundance of Tegan and Sara in my iTunes library do it?

6. You’re too pretty to be a lesbian!

Not only are you inferring that there aren’t any ~*pretty*~ lesbians, but you’re also invalidating my identity. Two points from Gryffindor.

7. Do you just hate men?

If hate means lack of attraction to penises, then sure.

8. My best friend’s roommate/lab partner/sister/etc. is a lesbian, too; do you know her?

The LGBTQ+ community on campus might be small, but it’s not that small. Come on.

9. How are you going to have kids?

Last time we checked, all you needed was a sperm and an egg in order to make a person. Sperm banks exist, so… yeah, we think we’re good.

10. How do you have sex?

We start it off with a bit of “No,” steam it up with a side of “It’s none of your business” and finish it off with a whole lot of “BYE, FELICIA!”

11. Can I watch?

So not only did you just reduce the intimacy between of two partners to objects of your fantasy porno, but you also had the audacity to actually ask this question out loud. K. Good day to you, sir.

9 Ways to Stay Warm on Your Way to the Gym

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Half the battle of working out is physically getting to the gym. It's a task that's hard enough as it is, but when it's below zero out, it turns into the trek of a lifetime (and not in the good way). A quick fix to this problem can be just to forget the gym all together and to stay in under your cozy blankets, but that's not what you resolved to do, oh, a mere week ago. The next best solution to this issue is layering up in some cute and warm activewear for your commute. Here are our favorite pieces for you to wear to and from the gym:

1. Hooded Poncho, Victoria’s Secret, $129.50

This hoodie/poncho hybrid is great to throw over a long sleeve tee for some extra warmth. It even has pockets!

2. Metallic Down Vest, Athleta, $168

More exciting than a plain ol’ black vest, this metallic titanium one is sure to lock in any body heat you might have left after you’ve stepped foot outside.

3. Training Pants, Adidas, $40

These sweats are easy to throw right on top of the shorts you wear to the gym. Anything to avoid those questionable gym locker rooms, are we right?

4. Fleece Parka, Nike, $350

Though the material seems thin and light, this long jacket will give you the warmth of a typical parka without the bulkiness, thanks to Nike's innovative fabric technology.

5. Cabin Onesie, lululemon, $168

This onesie, made from super soft fabric, is the perfect layering piece to throw on after your workout. The slightly cropped leg won’t drag in the snow and slush on your walk.

6. Fleece Bomber, Nike, $150

Made of the same fleece as the parka (#4), this bomber jacket is great for not only going to and from the gym, but it also serves as a fashionable everyday jacket to wear to class—such an upgrade from your college sweatshirt.

7. Scuba Hoodie, lululemon, $108

It comes in fifteen different colors, is made of a thick cotton fleece, and the sleeves have thumbholes so your hands can stay warm even when you forget your gloves.

8. Embodiment Tights, Athleta, $49.99

Tights or leggings are a winter essential for keeping your legs toasty. This pair keeps you warm when you’re outside, but is breathable and cool when you’re working out.

9. Large Metro Tote, Nordstrom, $195

Of course you need something that can carry all of your gym essentials when your hands aren’t free (read: stuffed in your pockets). This nylon tote is big enough for a change of clothes, before-and-after snacks and even some books if you’re headed to the library afterwards.

Don’t let the cold weather keep you from getting your workout in! What are you going to wear to stay warm on your way to the gym, collegiettes?


Leelah Alcorn's Suicide Note Put Back Online By Angry Social Media Users

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It's been more than two weeks since the tragic suicide of Leelah Alcorn, a transgendered teen from Ohio, broke headlines when a suicide note that she left on her Tumblr page was discovered. Since the note was found, the teenager's death has sparked an outrage all over social media, with Facebook and Twitter users now blaming the 17-year-old's parents. A few days ago, the note that got us talking about her death has was removed from the page by her parents. 

Leelah Alcorn died on the morning of December 28, when she was struck by a truck on Ohio's I-71. The teen's death was ruled a suicide when a note, in which she blamed her parents for rejecting her trans identity, surfaced online. In the note, Leelah, who was born Joshua Alcorn, claimed that she would never be happy and went on to discuss her Christian parents' refusal to support her transition at the age of 16. 

"When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart," she wrote. "On my 16th birthday, when I didn't receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep."

After being slammed by Twitter and Tumblr users for the Facebook tribute that Leelah's mother posted online, in which she referred to her "son" Leelah as Joshua, she deleted Leelah's original note from the Internet. But hours after it was deleted, computer programmer Cody Engel shared it again in a link, saying, "Leelah Alcorn's parents deleted her Tumblr. Too bad the Internet is written in ink. Never forget."

Other Twitter users and supporters of Leelah then followed Engel's lead, as they felt that the teen's parents were only trying to cover up the role that their lack of support played in her death. 

Peter Tatchell, a transgender equality advocate, claims that Internet users have every right to repost the note despite her parents' wishes.

"The parents are clearly more interested in protecting their deservedly tarnished reputations than allowing Leelah's voice to be heard," he says. "It is good that her suicide note has been re-posted on the internet. Leelah has a right to be heard. Her parents don't own her and they have no right to prevent people from reading her heartfelt words."

Since Leelah's suicide, some people are demanding that her parents be prosecuted for child abuse, since their actions are directly tied to her death. 

9 Things Guys Will Never Have to Worry About

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1. Periods

They're the Holy Grail of all female issues. We can beg, we can pray and we can wish it upon them in every way possible, but men will never experience a throbbing, shedding uterus. Girls bleed for a week straight every month for 40 years or so and they get no recognition. There aren’t even any superheroes who do that. On another note, we have to buy tampons and pads every month. The worst part? We have no choice but to buy them. Guys don’t have to budget Tampax and Midol into their monthly spending plan.

2. Visible panty lines

There's no in-between for girls--we either have a permanent wedgie or VPL (visible panty lines) detectable from a 10-mile radius. Guys wear full-blown shorts as underwear and you can’t even tell, but we girls slip on a pair of Barely There Underwear and we still need to call in border patrol to control the panty lines. Thongs? Sometimes we don’t want something (literally) stuck up our butt all day. Can’t a girl just wear her granny panties in peace? Since when did our panty of choice become such a domineering part of our life?

3. Hair catastrophes

There are few things in this world that make a girl’s heart stop quicker than that dreaded moment when “just a trim” turns into three inches chopped off. Sure, guys can get bad haircuts, but three weeks later, they're back to normal. Mix a terrible haircut with a bad hair day and we're left with a Joe Dirt mullet and buckets of tears. On another note, guys never have to worry about leaving the house with messy hair. If we sleep through our alarm, we risk going into public with that Joe Dirt mullet, greasy and stuffed under a baseball cap. We can try teasing it, dry-shampooing it and throwing it up in a sock bun, but sometimes there's just no saving bad hair.

4. Endless grooming

Legs, armpits, eyebrows, the Land Down Under--you name it, we groom it. Men have an entire month dedicated to completely neglecting their grooming, but women skip one leg shave and suddenly we're some grizzly creatures. Do guys realize how expensive razor heads are? We practically have to take out an extra student loan to maintain silky-smooth legs.

5. Beauty routines

Shampooing, conditioning, shaving, moisturizing, hair-drying, hair-straightening, makeup, picking out an outfit, hating the outfit, picking out another outfit, realizing we put on too much bronzer, re-straightening our hair because we started sweating from running around trying to get ready on time... it never ends. Five minutes and a bottle of 99-cent hair gel, and guys are ready to face the day. Someone please explain how this is fair.

6. Bras

Bra shopping is like car shopping. We try seven different models, and once we choose one that fits, we have 60 different colors to pick from. Then, after an hour of trying to choose one, we realize that the one we actually like gives us back fat and cone boobs, so it’s back to square one. Do we even dare mention having to wear a lacey, wired contraption strapped to our chest all day? Boys, you don’t know the first thing about being uncomfortable until you sport one of those bad boys every day for your entire life. BTW, we named the day in which girls have to cross over from training bras to cup bras. It’s now called the Great Depression.

7. Catcalling

We all have this magnificent idea in our head of what it’s like to be hit on. We strut down the street in our designer miniskirt and impossibly tall stilettos as sexy construction men stop to wink at us, just as the steam from the sewer grate shoots our hair into a glorious tuft. Once we snap out of our daydream, we come to terms with the fact that it’s really nothing like this. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. Catcalling usually consists of the fat, greasy, middle-aged men who are repaving your street. They hoot and holler at just about anything that moves on their lunch break, in between taking large, repulsive bites of their gas-station roast beef sub. Most guys have this preconceived notion that girls adore being catcalled, no matter who is doing the catcalling, and they probably secretly wished that women did more catcalling themselves. Um, no. We’re not dogs, and we don’t appreciate feeling like them.

8. Pap smears

We're all waiting for the day when Stephen King writes a horror-novel-turned-movie about Pap smears. Nothing will ever take away the uneasy feeling we get when we walk into the exam room to see a tray filled with metal tools and clamps large enough to hold down an elephant. No matter how many you've had, you still feel like you're about to hit the deck when you see those football stadium lights pointed right at your glory hole. Boys, have you ever tried to carry on a casual conversation with a stranger while you're doing the spread eagle on an exam table? Talk about vulnerable.

9. Camel toes

Camel toes are the mother of all female punishments. Leather leggings suddenly become somewhat of a fashion suicide the second they start creeping up our lady alleys. The worst part? They aren’t something we can discreetly fix. If only guys knew how lucky they are to not have to worry about this. These rascals even ruin things like our daily gym routine--we get deep in the elliptical zone when all of a sudden, our Nike running leggings are climbing up the front. We can’t help but think, “What day is it? HUMP DAY!” D*mn you, camel toes.

Pinspirational: 9 Gorgeous Matte Manis

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Winter may be an excuse to stop shaving your legs... but it's no reason not to keep up with the rest of your beauty routine—and that includes an impeccable manicure. During winter break, you may have had the time to try out elaborate nail art looks, but with the semester starting up again, those hours-long nail painting sessions unfortunately need to be cut short. There is still a way to make your manicure stand out from the crowd, though! Pair those gorgeous winter colors with a luxe matte finish, and you'll have a chic and eye-catching look. We obviously turned to Pinterest for inspiration—check out our favorites below (we threw in a couple of nail art looks for those of you who are still on break)!

Velvety matte

Some people stay away from matte because the color seems too flat, but this Zoya Matte Velvet Lacquer strikes the perfect balance between a subtle shimmer and matte finish.

Try: Zoya Matte Velvet Lacquer in Posh, $9, zoya.com

Matte with accent nail

Not only will this accent nail catch your eye, but the stunning contrast between matte and shiny makes for the perfect juxtaposition.

Try: Essie’s Luxeffects Glitter Top Coat in Stroke of Brilliance, $8.50, ulta.com

Matte & glossy

Do you have tape? That’s all you need for this fun DIY matte and glossy finish manicure. After letting your matte color dry, lay a piece of tape down to protect the area you want to keep matte. Paint the exposed nail with a glossy top coat, peel the tape away, and of course, this works vice versa!

Try: Sally Hansen Big Matte Top Coat, $5.99, ulta.com or Big Shiny Top Coat, $5.99, ulta.com

Matte with negative space

Don’t put that tape away just yet! Negative space was seen all over the Spring runways, and you bet that they look amazing with matte nails too. Clean up and cut out negative space just as easily with nail polish remover and a cheap craft store brush. 

Try: Michaels Soft Grip Short Shader Brush, $2.99, michaels.com

Matte with glitter gradient

A bit of sparkle never hurt anyone, so grab a sponge to add a dash of glitter to any matte manicure! Pick glitter that compliments your nail color, such as pink toned glitter for purple polish. 

Try: Orly Fowl Play, $8.50, orlybeauty.com

Matte neutrals

Chances are you have tons of neutral nail polish lying around unused. Investing in a matte top coat can suddenly bring those colors back to life—an oldie but a goodie, as they say.

Try: JINsoon Matte Maker, $18, violetgrey.com

Matte textures

This matte sparkle formula is what we’ll be wearing on our next night out! Bonus? Textured nail polish does not chip as easily as opaque finishes. Win.

Try: Zoya PixieDust in Dahlia, $10, zoya.com

Luxe Matte

Pick your most decadent, luxurious-colored nail color and finish it with a matte top coat. These super pigmented colors can look tacky with a glossy finish, but a matte finish creates gorgeous subtle glamour.

Try: OPI Matte Top Coat, $9.50, ulta.com

Matte metallic tattoos

Flash tattoos or metallic temporary tattoos blew up in 2014. While we’re not sure if the trend will continue into 2015, don’t throw away your leftover tattoos just yet. They’re actually the perfect (and super easy) nail art we’ve all been looking for! Apply to dry, painted nails with a damp cloth (same process as if you were applying to your skin), and set with a matte top coat. 

Try: Topshop Metallic Band Temporary Tattoo Pack, $9, us.topshop.com

 

Which matte mani are you most excited to try?

Real Live College Guy: Is My Boss Flirting With Me?

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We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

So there is this guy at my workplace and I really like him — but he has a girlfriend. When I found this out, I was okay with it; I mean, there was nothing I could do about it, right? But we got talking, and he was the one who initiated the conversation even though he is the vice president at the organization and I am just a new recruit. He remembers small details about me and keeps complimenting me, and there is constant flirting between us. I am thoroughly and absolutely confused. What does he want from me? –Workplace Woes in Wyoming

Wyoming,

Simply said, you’re toeing into some really morally iffy (bordering on potentially disastrous) territory here.

First, workplace relationships may not always be banned, but in my experience they are generally frowned upon, especially between employees at a lower level and those with authority. Before you get caught up in the possibilities of an office romance, step back and realize the potentially damaging impact it could have. How will your coworkers see it? How will it influence your actual job? What happens if things take a turn for the worse and you still have to work together?

Second, even if you two are flirting in the workplace, he has a girlfriend, and that’s something that needs to be respected. How would you feel if some woman your boyfriend worked with was constantly flirting with him? Moreover, what does him acting like this behind his girlfriend’s back say about his character?

I can’t tell you exactly what he wants, Wyoming, but you’re right to be confused. You’re in an extremely precarious position here. He’s in a position of power and you’re the new girl, so if you flat-out deny his advances, then you might be on the receiving end of some unfair punishment. At the same time, if you continue the games, then you could potentially damage the personal and professional lives of everyone involved.

I think you should move on from his attention and, basically, ignore it. You’re there to do a job, not get a boyfriend. Friendliness is fine, but don’t give into the flirtation. If he asks you what’s wrong (or anything along those lines), tell him that you’re not interested in pursuing anything with him and that you’re there to work. Hopefully he can respect your decision, but I can’t make any guarantees. Worst-case scenario? If he doesn’t reel it in a little, consider going to HR to file a sexual harassment report.

Good luck, Wyoming.

Fill out my online form.

The 7 Best New Things on Netflix

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If you haven't already noticed, Netflix added a whole new lineup of movies and TV series for you to binge-watch. Instead of staying in bed all day watching shows you've already seen a million times, you can now stay in bed all day watching new ones! Here are a few of our favorites.

1. 101 Dalmatians

You heard right: Pongo and Perdy are BACK. Get ready to cry over the fact that you didn't get a Dalmatian puppy for Christmas.

2. Bruce Almighty

Good news: You can now watch Jim Carrey at his best over and over again! Plus, who doesn't love Morgan Freeman as God?

3. Cast Away

You might need three boxes of tissues to cry over Wilson, but watching this movie is worth it. (FYI: Wilson is a volleyball. You will still cry.)

4. Shall We Dance?

Basically the next best thing to Dirty Dancing, this one's perfect for a girls' night in.

5. Mean Girls

This is unquestionably Netflix's most fetch addition.

6. Batman & Robin 

As much as we love Christian Bale as Batman, it's hard to beat this classic take on a superhero and his sidekick.

7. Friends

And, finally, the one we've all been looking forward to the most. If you haven't gotten acquainted with this hilarious group of New Yorkers yet (or even if you have!), get ready to meet your new addiction. 

What it’s Like to Apply to Internships

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Even with having to work long hours all summer, it seems like the hardest part of an internship is applying to get one in the first place. It’s the season when thousands of college students are scrambling to figure out their career paths and land the perfect summer jobs (that don’t require fetching coffee).  We all know internships pay off in the long run, but the application process can be exhausting. If you’re like most collegiettes on the internship hunt, then the following will feel far too familiar.

After putting off the internship search until winter break is over, you finally decide to check out some online postings.

It’s still early in the game, but your attempt to get ahead feels like:

Because the process is brutal and the applicant pool is competitive.

So you fight tooth and nail for a position, because you need more experience on your resume

…even if that experience is based in a different city and unpaid.

As an undergrad looking for an internship, your options are limited. You start looking at the preferred qualifications for a few positions, which are pretty daunting.

And then you look at your own resume, thinking:

So you fluff it up with bigger words and intricate details…

…and hope an interviewer won’t call you out on it.

But even with your revised resume, you still feel inadequate.

After scrolling through a dozen more openings you’re unqualified for, you enter your quarter-life crisis.

When you’re left with no choice, you submit your cover letter and resume to a few internships you’re barely qualified for. You’ve got nothing to lose, right?

And so the long wait begins as companies take their sweet time getting back to you.

It’s almost like they’re all working together to make your life as difficult as possible.

Meanwhile, it seems like your friends are getting all kinds of offers…

…and you’re still in the dark, waiting for any type of reply, like:

You’d appreciate any form of contact right now — a phone call, an email or even snail mail!

After a few weeks of no news, you’re like:

And just when you think you’re totally doomed, you get your first interview.

And your confidence goes through the roof.

It makes you wonder why you were even worried in the first place.

Then you remember how nerve-wracking interviews are…

…and how awkward you are at “selling yourself” to employers.

So you practice your interview skills with a friend.

And you research the company until you know it like the back of your hand.

When the big day arrives, you remind yourself to just act natural…

…and to show professional enthusiasm for the position.

But during the interview, if feels like the interviewer can see you sweat.

Once the interview is over, you breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Until you realize this is just the beginning of your grueling internship search.

Best of luck with your summer plans, collegiettes! You’ll be applying to full-time positions before you know it.

Illinois Law Aims to Protect Pregnant Women in the Workplace

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A new law protecting pregnant women and new mothers at work took effect this week in Illinois. Governor Pat Quinn signed the Illinois Pregnancy Fairness Law last August, which aims to protect women who are experiencing or expecting pregnancy-related conditions from negative consequences at their jobs, as well as help them find new work opportunities.

“This is a landmark bill that will end a common but often overlooked form of workplace discrimination and make Illinois a better place for our moms-to-be,” Governor Quinn declared when the bill was signed.

The new law entitles expecting and new mothers to additional break time, lifting restrictions and leave time for pregnancy or related issues. Businesses also must supply non-bathroom space for breastfeeding and transfers to less strenuous positions. The law also seeks to help women find work while pregnant and to keep them safe from discrimination at their current job, or during the application process.

"The law creates pregnancy as a protected classification under Illinois law," said Amy Blaisdell, a labor and employment attorney in who practices in Missouri and Illinois. "That means women who are pregnant who are applying for jobs or who are employed in the state of Illinois, private employers included, are protected from discrimination as well as retaliation for requesting accommodation."

While the majority of business owners are happy to accommodate mothers, some questions have come up in regards to the new law. Since the law applies to all employers, regardless of the business size, some employers are questioning how it will affect their workers and business. Some worry that the system will be abused and businesses will take a hit when having to provide for those women who are unable to work.

“As a small business owner, I have to pay them through all of the days of their pregnancy, even if they can’t perform their duties,” said Eric Wortham, a pizzeria owner in metro-east Illinois. “What if the employer is fast-food place or a restaurant like us and there is no place for them to sit? How does that work? What if they would have to sit there all day?”

The new law, which protects employees when it comes to “conditions related to pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions,” does seem vague and open to interpretations—so is it what’s best for new and expecting mothers? Is it right to require businesses to compensate for work that can't be accomplished? Or do you think that this is a step in the right direction for women?


How to Prevent Wrinkles (While Still Smiling!)

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ICYMI, Kim Kardashian recently announced on her Twitter that she avoids smiling too often in order to prevent wrinkles. 


 

See I do smile... even laugh on occasion. Not too often though because it causes wrinkles @shammaurice

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian)

While we weren't too surprised, we were still left with no words. Why? Because there are a bunch of things you can do to prevent wrinkles, none of which require you to stop smiling (or even splurge on Botox). Check out our dos and don'ts for avoiding those pesky wrinkles—you're welcome, Kim.

DO protect (even in the winter): Sunscreen, baseball caps, sunglasses... Try to keep your exposed body parts covered or protected. Those harsh UV rays kill your skin cells and give you wrinkles. Not to mention, frequent and prolonged exposure can lead to skin cancer, too.

DO moisturize: Creams with Revona, Vitamin A Acid, Vitamins A, C, and/or E, Idebonone, and Alpha-Hydroxy Acids (AHA) work miracles on your skin by moisturizing, rehydrating and improving your skin's elasticity. We love the Fresh Lotus Preserve Face Cream with Super 7 Complex ($42).

DO massage: Morning and night! With oils or your moisturizer and using circular motions, use your index and middle fingers to massage your face until the oils have absorbed into your face. Argan, coconut, jojoba and olive oil are all good products that are packed with vitamins and antioxidants to help protect your skin. Josie Maran 100 percent Pure Argan Oil ($48) works wonders on both dry and oily skin alike.

DO NOT smoke: A chemical in cigarettes releases an enzyme that breaks down collagen in your skin, which in turn hurts your skin's elasticity. 

DO get sleep: Lack of sleep produces excess cortisol, a hormone that breaks down skin cells. Sleeping will help produce HGH (human growth hormone) which helps keep your skin firm and elastic.

DO sleep on your back: As zany as this sounds, sleeping on your face can cause those unslightly sleep lines, which can lead to wrinkles.

DO use a satin pillow case: If you love sleeping on your face or side, here's a chance to splurge! Satin is a soft fabric, so when you sleep, your face sort of glides against it, as opposed to bunching up underneath your face creating sleep lines.

DO eat more fish: Protein and omega-3 fatty acids help nourish your skin and keep you looking (and not to mention feeling) radiant and healthy. Of course, this is in addition to a healthy diet.

DO eat more fruits and veggies: Antioxidants help fight damaging free radicals within your body that can cause harm to your skin cells, which means you'll be sporting younger looking skin. Some popular foods include pomegranates, acai, blueberries, green tea, beans and kale.

DO NOT eat a ton of salty/junk foods: These will dehydrate you, which will cause you and your skin to feel tired, lethargic and sickly.

DO NOT over-wash your face and DO NOT use products with high alcohol content: These will dry out your face and strip the natural oils from it. It is those natural oils that keep your face feeling good. With a dry face, you're more prone to wrinkles and scars. 

DO NOT use makeup toilette removers: All that tugging and pressing against your face with the makeup remover napkin sounds like a recipe for wrinkles. Instead, use a foaming makeup remover or an oil-based one that you can apply with a cotton ball. We are loving Clinique's Take The Day Off Cleansing Oil ($27).

DO use face masks: Pamper yourself! Have a Girl's Night In and create or buy facial masks to rejuvenate your skin. If you want something quick and on the go, mix a bit of lemon juice and honey and lightly dab it on your face before applying your moisturizer. You will have glowing skin and the formula will also improve the appearance of fine lines. Plus, your skin will be left smelling so sweet!

DO NOT squint: Think about it... When you're squinting, you are over-working the muscles around your face, which can cause premature wrinkles.

DO drinks LOTS of water: The bottom line is that moisture helps combat wrinkles! A properly hydrated body leads to skin that looks healthy and radiant.

 

DO smile: Sorry Kim, but research shows that smiling actually does help prevent wrinkles in the long run! Smiling trains the muscles around your lips so that they do not prematurely sag, which could cause some serious wrinkles. Additionally, a genuine smile is beautiful enough to brighten up even the dullest of faces.

So what do you collegiettes think about these wrinkle fighting techniques? Are you going to try them out or are you going to live a life of minimal facial expressions? What other techniques and products do you use to combat wrinkles?

7 Signs You Rocked Your Phone Interview

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Phone interviews have all the stresses of in-person interviews: remembering your answers, keeping your decorum, dressing professionally (to help get you in the right frame of mind!). What’s more, they have an added difficulty: zero body language to go off of. It’s hard to connect with someone when you can’t see his or her face, because the nonverbal cues that tell you how everything is going aren’t there.

Still, it’s not impossible to gauge your performance during a phone interview! There are clear signs you can keep a lookout for to figure out if the interview is going well. We talked to collegiettes and interview experts to bring you these seven signs that you rocked your phone interview.

1. The call feels relaxed

Interviews can be super formal and uncomfortable and are generally stressful events overall. If the tension starts to ease up during your call, that’s a positive sign as to how you’re doing!

Expert interview coach Barry Drexler says that if the interviewer expresses signs of relaxation, such as laughing, or there appears to be general excitement in his or her voice, these are good indications that you're doing well. If the interviewer starts to refer to you by your name instead of using an impersonal phrase like “the successful candidate,” this is a good sign that he or she likes you and enjoys talking to you.

2. The interviewer starts asking more questions about you

The interviewer has to ask certain questions to make sure you’re qualified for the position. “They are going to ask about background, experience and education,” says Paul Bailo, CEO and founder of Phone Interview Pro. Hearing about the details of your major and the kinds of projects you worked on at your summer internship will help the interviewer determine if you meet the minimum requirements for the position.

However, if you turn out to be exactly what the interviewer is looking for (and more!), then he or she will likely want to know as much about you as possible.

Jullien Gordon, author of The Inner View: Everything You Need To Know & Do Before Your Job Interview, says the interviewer will ask deeper questions about you if he or she is curious about you, and that this is a sign that things are going well. For example, the interviewer may want to know more about your specific contributions to an internship or ask you to explain what other activities you take on when school isn’t in session.

Bailo says that this is because the interviewer is “trying to put the book about you together. They are looking for these open-ended questions to enhance what they believe to be true.” If the interviewer likes you, he or she is going to ask lots of questions to prove what he or she already knows: that you’re a likely candidate.

3. The call goes on longer than scheduled

The first few minutes of an interview can be painfully slow. Already anxious, you keep an eye on the clock, wondering just how long it’s been and how much longer you have to push through. But somewhere down the line, as you’ve relaxed into the call, you stop checking the time and just have a conversation. When you finally do glance back at the clock, it’s 20 minutes after your scheduled end time! Where did the time go?

If your interview goes over this scheduled time, that’s a good sign that the interviewer is interested in you. Miranda Soukup, a senior at Winona State University, recently had a preliminary call that unexpectedly turned into an interview. “I thought it was just a call that would ask me a little about myself and expected to be invited for an interview, but it turned into a phone interview in itself,” she says.

Interviewers may use preliminary calls as tests to screen candidates because they get so many applications for one job. If a candidate does not match the interviewer’s qualifications, the interviewer is likely to end the call on time (or even early). However, if the interviewer is interested in you, the call may go on longer than planned because he or she is excited to consider you as a viable candidate. In Miranda’s case, her “screening” call turned into an actual interview. Likewise, if the interviewer continues to ask questions for significantly longer than you expected—we’re talking 20, 30 or even 45 minutes—take it as a great sign!

4. The conversation goes slightly off topic

If you’re finding that you and the interviewer are talking about your favorite sports teams or discussing the best ways to wear Pantone’s color of the year, consider this a good thing!

“Once, the interviewer and I found the conversation occasionally going off on a tangent about something related because we had a lot in common,” says Lauren Velez, a junior at the University of Texas at Austin.

Having this kind of connection with the interviewer shows that you are personable and would be a lively addition to the team. Bailo explains that the reasons an interviewer might go off topic are twofold. “One is to get you to reveal yourself to see if they really want to hire you,” he says, “and the other piece is to really understand where you want to go.”

People hire people they want to work with who would be a good fit in the company. If you and the interviewer can establish a personal connection, you’ve shown him or her both of these things, which could definitely pique his or her interest.

5. The interviewer tries to sell you on the company

Hiring managers know that this company isn’t the only one you’re applying to.

Drexler says that if the interviewer asks about your offers at other companies or goes out of his or her way to sell the company’s best features, these are clear indications of interest.

“If they really like you, they will try and convince you of how great the company and the job is because they wouldn’t want to lose you to another company,” he explains. “Great candidates get picked up quickly, and they know this.”

Watch out for mentions of the job’s advantages, any benefits the company offers (like paid vacation), how the work environment is unique or any other attempts to woo you.

If an interviewer is interested in you, he or she is going to do everything in his or her power to keep your favor. “They’re selling the company as much as you’re selling yourself,” Drexler says. The interviewer wants you to choose this company just as much as you want the company to choose you.

6. The interviewer talks about clear next steps

It’s nearing the end of the interview, and it’s about time to wrap things up. After thanking the interviewer for his or her time, you ask about next steps. What should you expect going forward?

If your interviewer responds to this question with definite next steps, then he or she is considering giving you the job.

“They have had a whole hour to be thinking about you, so they have already established, ‘I like what I’m hearing, I can’t wait to bring you in,’” Bailo says. “If they say they’re going to call up human resources to have them schedule another meeting, or they want you to meet so-and-so next week, that’s great.”

An interviewer giving you clear next steps may already be picturing you working at his or her company—especially if the interviewer wants you to come in and meet the team! Look out for mentions of definite next steps, because they’re indications you’re doing well.

7. You have a good feeling about it

If you hang up the phone and you feel pretty awesome, then you probably nailed it. In fact, you might not even have to hang up before you get an idea that things are going pretty great!

When thinking about how well you did, listening to your gut is always a good sign. Hold off on asking the interviewer how you did; you don’t want to come off as insecure in your abilities.

“You don’t need to ask if you performed well on the phone interview,” Drexler says. “You know that you performed well.”

In the absence of body language, we have to listen for other clues to help us gauge our performance during a phone interview. Luckily, if you know what to look for, it’s not hard to figure out how everything’s going. Watch out for these positive signs to see how good your chances are!

We're Giving Away Hundreds of Dollars Worth of the Trendiest Accessories!

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There’s no better way than to start off a new year completely refreshed. One way to do that is to get a good start on your fitness resolutions… another way to do that is to revamp your look. Here at Her Campus, we’re all about those health goals, but making stylish additions to our closets? Sign us up.

Since we’re sure you feel the same way, we’re giving away five shopping sprees (each of $100!) to accessories heaven Coco Loves Rome, an online boutique that carries a delightful selection of on-trend jewelry, bags, scarves, sunglasses and more. You’ll find unique earrings like double-sided studs, classic necklaces sure to become your new signature like this crystal bar stunner, and even adorable statement-making clutches like this bold lips-shaped clutch—love. Oh, and the best part: All three pieces come in well under $100 (yes, combined), so you’ve still got plenty left to shop even more fun options. The site is updated regularly, so there’s always something new to choose from—and be sure to check out their Instagram to get an insider look at all the coolest items from the site!

Enter now below for one of five chances to win $100 to shop at Coco Loves Rome!

Fill out my online form.

The 7 Best New Things on Netflix

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If you haven't already noticed, Netflix added a whole new lineup of movies and TV series for you to binge-watch. Instead of staying in bed all day watching shows you've already seen a million times, you can now stay in bed all day watching new ones! Here are a few of our favorites.

1. 101 Dalmatians

You heard right: Pongo and Perdy are BACK. Get ready to cry over the fact that you didn't get a Dalmatian puppy for Christmas.

2. Bruce Almighty

Good news: You can now watch Jim Carrey at his best over and over again! Plus, who doesn't love Morgan Freeman as God?

3. Cast Away

You might need three boxes of tissues to cry over Wilson, but watching this movie is worth it. (FYI: Wilson is a volleyball. You will still cry.)

4. Shall We Dance?

Basically the next best thing to Dirty Dancing, this one's perfect for a girls' night in.

5. Mean Girls

This is unquestionably Netflix's most fetch addition.

6. Batman & Robin 

As much as we love Christian Bale as Batman, it's hard to beat this classic take on a superhero and his sidekick.

7. Friends

And, finally, the one we've all been looking forward to the most. If you haven't gotten acquainted with this hilarious group of New Yorkers yet (or even if you have!), get ready to meet your new addiction. 

9 Things You Need to Know About Dating in Your Twenties

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You’re out of college and living in the real world, but, to your dismay, you’re still single. You had hoped you might have met your future spouse on campus while sipping a latté at a local café, staring at each other from across the room in a 200-person lecture or accidentally bumping into him or her at a party. But you didn’t meet that special someone, so here you are back in the dating game, slowly losing your mind after each failed first date and less-than-perfect Tinder match.

The post-college dating scene can be complicated, especially when there aren’t as many single-and-ready-to-mingle twentysomethings at your disposal—and meeting someone at a bar is the last thing you want to do. In the real world, you suddenly realize that all of your friends are getting engaged, and you’re stuck at home with your cat, losing all hope that Mr. or Ms. Right even exists.

Don’t worry, though! We rounded up nine essential rules for dating after college. Read on to discover what you need to know to find your soul mate.

1. Figure out what qualities you’re looking for in a partner

We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you're that girl with a super-long list of dating must-haves, you're probably not going to find the one for you. But it is good to know what qualities you’re looking for in an SO as you enter the real-world dating scene. You probably had a list at one point in your life that included things like tall, dark and handsome—but although physical attraction is important, we all know there’s more to a good partner than just good looks.

Take time to reevaluate your dating criteria after college and discover which qualities are most important and in sync with your own values. “The main thing is not to compromise your non-negotiables or deal-breakers,” says Kim Olver, author of Secrets of Happy Couples. “Know what you want from a relationship partner. Be open and flexible, but do not compromise on those things you previously determined were not good for you.”

2. Find new places to meet people

Change up your routine and explore new hangout spots—you never know whom you might meet. Be open to meeting potential dates wherever you go. Bars seem like an easy place to meet someone new because it’s a relaxed environment and the drinks help give everyone a little liquid courage, but we all know bars can be hit or miss when it comes to meeting a nice guy. Instead, try talking to someone new during your lunch break, on your morning coffee run, in the checkout line at the grocery store or at a networking event. You never know when a chance encounter could turn into something more!

3. Be open to online dating

Online dating can seem a little unnatural and scary—especially if you have to pay to find a date. It might be challenging to differentiate between who is really interested in getting to know you and who’s sending the same cheesy pick-up line to every girl.

Once you get past the initial nervousness and create an online profile, you’ll see that online dating isn’t so bad. Olver agrees that this can be a great way to meet people, but she recommends being cautious before meeting someone in person. “Know that a person can say anything about himself online that may or may not be true,” she says. “Take it slow... email, text, talk often before you actually meet, and when you do, make sure you drive yourself and tell someone else where you are and with whom.”

4. Go on dates with different people until you meet the right one

Are your friends constantly trying to set you up on dates? Do they always drag you along when another single person is expected at the party? If so, enjoy the drinks, dinners and company and use this as a chance to learn what you like and don’t like in a potential SO. As you get to know someone, you also get to know yourself better along the way, so have fun and go on dates with different people. Just because you’re in your twenties doesn’t mean you have to pick one partner right away!

“The advantage to dating multiple guys is that you gain experience and can fine-tune what exactly you want in a life partner,” Olver says. Take a chance and have dinner with your aunt’s coworker, or go bowling with your best friend’s cousin from out of state. If you don’t get good vibes from the date, you don’t have to see him or her again. You might get lucky, though, and find that you have a lot in common with this new mystery man or woman!

5. Remember to DTR

You’ve already been through the whole “What are we?” debate in college, so don’t make yourself go through this pain again. There’s nothing worse than that awkward faux-lationship of more-than-hook-up-buddies-but-less-than-SO. If you’ve been seeing someone exclusively for a few months and you really like him or her, talk to him or her and make sure he or she feels the same way about you. If you discover that he or she is still dating multiple girls, you may want to cut this one loose before you fall too hard. Defining the relationship early on will help erase any uncertainties and give you the fulfilling relationship you want.

6. Don’t settle for the first person you meet just so you can finally say you have an SO

Although there are many perks to being single, sometimes it’s no fun—especially when all of your friends are getting engaged and you can’t even find a plus one to bring to their weddings. The desire to have an SO is even stronger after college because being in a relationship can make you feel one step closer to being a real adult. This feeling won’t last long if you settle down with the wrong person, however. Don’t rush into a new relationship just so you can change your status from single to taken.

“The time between relationships is the time for self-evaluation,” Olver says. “Figure out exactly what you want in a partner, and then, are you the person your ‘perfect partner’ would want to date? If yes, great! If not, you may have some work to do on yourself before getting into another relationship.”

It can be tempting to date someone for the sake of dating someone, but it’s better to wait for the right person.

7. Be honest—with yourself and with your partner

Overall, it’s important to be honest with yourself and your SO.

“Being honest is being true to yourself,” Olver says. “If you are doing things you are ashamed of or feel you need to lie about, then why are you doing them, or why are you with someone who would judge you in that way?”

Before you take your new relationship to the next level, make sure you’re both being open with each other about your values and future plans.

“The first question you should ask is, ‘Do you have any pending job applications out of state?’” suggests recent grad Miranda*. Miranda recently started dating someone who told her two weeks before he left that he was moving across the country for a new job. This would have been less of a shock and disappointment if he had been honest from the beginning.

“The best way to handle a person who has not told you the truth is to decide if honesty is one of your deal-breakers,” Olver says. “If it is, then believe the person when he shows you he is dishonest, and cut your losses.”

8. Don’t be bitter because it didn’t work out with someone in the past

Sometimes a previous bad experience can turn you off of dating for a while. However, even though dating can make you vulnerable sometimes, you do have to put yourself out there and have a positive outlook no matter what dating disasters you’ve experienced in the past.

“There are two things I say about this,” Olver says. “The first is that no relationship is ever a waste of time, because it will at least help you learn about something you don't want to repeat. The second thing I find extremely helpful is a quote by Dr. Seuss: ‘Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.’ Remember to learn from past relationships and to deal with each subsequent person in your life with a free mind and open heart. You owe it to yourself.”

You might have gone through a bad breakup or found out that your high school sweetheart cheated on you, but you can’t assume all guys are jerks. Having a negative attitude toward dating will not help at all. Start each new relationship with a clear mind, and don’t bring up any of your exes. 

9. Don’t rush your relationship

There is no right time frame for when to say, “I love you” or when to get engaged. Some people might wait a few months, others might wait a few years—everyone's relationship is different. So stop comparing your relationship to your friends’ or bringing up marriage and kids before you and your partner are really in a place for that next step. Enjoy your relationship for what it is—if you do end up married, you’ll have your whole life to be married! No need to rush it.

If you feel that you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, talk to your SO about things like meeting his or her parents, moving in together or getting married, and see how he or she reacts.

Dating after college might seem confusing, but with these tips, you'll end up being that friend giving your BFFs advice for how to date the right way! If you want there to be a future after date number one, remember to stay true to yourself, find someone who has similar values as you, explore different dating options and take it slowly when you think you’ve met the one.

 

*Name has been changed.

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