I’d say that one of my favorite pastimes is to plague society with my weird behavior and kooky sense of humor. In childhood this manifested itself through me eating the lawn grass and pretending to throw up like a cat, or poking people I didn’t know and running away while laughing hysterically. Now, I get my kicks from messing with sleazy men on Tinder.
For one night I decided to badger all the men I talked to, using multiple methods of badgering, but all with one commonality: Donald Trump. Here are the steps you can take if you would like to share in my experience.
Method 1: Casually Force Everyone to Share Their Opinion about Donald Trump
This tactic is great because it simultaneously annoys the men who want to send gross flirty messages to you, while also letting you discover a lot about someone’s political opinions, to see if they may be worth your time. Start with casual conversation first, give in to those “cuddle me” one-liners, and then smoothly drop Donald Trump into the conversation.
Flirtation avoided for the moment, begin to delve deeper into their Donald Trump opinions.
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At this point, you may come to the realization that this man may, in fact, be an idiot.
If they begin to exhibit blatantly racist or cruel behavior, feel free to slip in a quote from The Office or some emojis, and leave them in the dust.
The only flaw to this method is that you may begin to notice a common trend in people’s responses, being that they don’t really mind Donald Trump all that much. They see his flaws, but ultimately they like the idea of banning Muslims from the United States.
Just remember, if disturbing their romantic advances stops being fun because of their unsavory viewpoints, feel free to move on to a method that is a bit more fun and silly.
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Method 2: Donald Trump Quotes
This method is unfathomably funny because men tend to just go along with whatever you’re saying, regardless of however absurd or racist it may be, driven by the idea that if they bear through the bizarre strings of speech, they may still get a hookup out of it. The best approach is to form the conversation as if it’s normal, even better as if it’s heading in a sexual direction, and then WHAM get freaky with a Donald Trump quote.
If they clearly have no idea what you’re saying or who you happen to be referencing, feel free to continue to drag the joke out, giggling all the while.
If a quote is particularly obscure, you may not get an answer, but that’s okay too because it means you’ve won.
Now a quick word of advice: while talking in only Donald Trump quotes is greatly pleasing to your inner Internet troll, be careful with the copy and paste feature. Like me, you may end up copying a list of 36 quotes with journalist commentary from a website, and sending the whole thing.
Method 3: Go All Out
This is by far my favorite, because it involves unleashing Donald Trump without limit into every conversation. There is no tactic or skill, just go for it. My personal choice is to make Donald Trump the focal point of sexy situations.
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Do you ever get the weird abbreviations you don’t understand, but just assume they’re sexual acts? Yeah, me too. Feel free to reply with your own abbreviations. DT=Donald Trump.
And if you’re feeling really into it, just repetitively chant his name over and over as if attempting to suck Donald Trump’s very soul into the conversation, forever trapping him in the Tinder cyber world of hookups and winky faces.
While you may not be in the market of scaring away men for the fun of it, because you are not a potato faced cat lady, there is no denying that Donald Trump is the perfect way to escape any unwanted flirty situation. I had a delightful time, clapping my hands in glee while trying this, and I can’t wait to see more Donald Trump Tinder conversations appear elsewhere on the Internet for me to read.
