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19 Ways to Prepare for Thanksgiving, as told by Ron Swanson


Thanksgiving, by definition, is the one day of the year where it is completely acceptable to enter into a food coma (from which you may never return)––not really, but we like to say so, at least!

When preparing for the special day, there are some necessary steps to take in order to ensure you are completely ready to consume the absolute most food possible. Check them out below and get ready for the BEST Thanksgiving of your life!

Warn your family prior to Thanksgiving that you will not be stopped until you can consume no more.

Thanksgiving is a judgment-free zone, y'all!

Deny any tempts to spoil your appetite before dinner is served.

Resist the appetizers we tell you! Resist...

Avoid social interactions and mentally prepare.

The food will be served shortly.

Spot the food... Run to the food.

We recommend adding a little pep to your step in the form of a dance.

When hungry family members get in your way, don't be afraid to use your utensils to fend them off... 

We have a fork and we are not afraid to use it.

...If that doesn't work, reach for the nearest piece of furniture!

You gotta do what you gotta do...

Start with small servings to ensure your plate has room for EVERYTHING.

Don't worry, you'll obviously be back for more.

Put the salad down... it's a holiday!

Don't be that person.

Convince yourself (and your body) that you're ready to eat... a lot!!

Be afraid, mashed potatoes, be very afraid.

Take your plate somewhere quiet where no one can ruin your moment.

PSA: Please don't talk to us while we're eating.

Don't even let the TV distract you––focus on the task at hand.

You'll get more accomplished this way.

Eat in intervals, so you can keep coming back for more.

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Don't pay attention to how much food (or lack thereof) your family is eating.

Eat however much makes you happy––that's all that matters!! So what if you had the five biggest plates of the day?

Seriously, embrace being the turkey-eating champion! 

It's honestly whatever.

Don't forget to save room for dessert!

Don't worry about how much you ate for dinner. After all, stressed spelled backwards is desserts...

Ignore the haters who judge you for STILL eating at 10 p.m.

"This is my moment and I will not stop until I can no longer move."

Take home leftovers for when you're hungry again.

Cause it'll be sooner than you expect.

After a long day, when you can't eat another bite, find a place to lay down and die.

It hurts so good...

Wake up the next day with absolutely no regrets about the ten pounds you gained!

There's obviously more to love.

See you soon, Thanksgiving! *wink*

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