I met this guy through friends last year, and when I ran into him at the end of summer, he asked me to coffee. On a whim, I asked him to my sorority's formal, and we had so much fun. He initiated kissing me and it seemed like he really liked me. Since then, he's asked me to hang out a few times, but I still can't figure out what he wants. He's admittedly a horrible texter and would never think to call or send a "Hey, what's up?" message. Everyone who knows him only says great things about him and wants me to date him, but I'm getting a little tired of the lack of communication. –Perplexed at Poly
Perplexed,
Sigh. I know firsthand what being a horrible texter is like. Unless I really know someone, texting is a challenge. Messages that are too short make it sound like I’m not interested, and messages that are too long come off as sounding long-winded. Finding that perfect in-between that accurately details how I’m feeling at that particular moment can be insanely difficult.
Really though, Perplexed, he’s done everything else right. To me at least, it seems as though he’s definitely dropped a few hints that he’s interested in you. I can’t imagine anything more blatant than going to your formal and initiating a kiss. If you were looking for a sign, that was it.
Still, I think it’s a common misconception that men are bad at communication. What many women seem to forget is that we can’t read minds, so when you don’t outwardly communicate your feelings, we can’t always get an accurate reading and reciprocate those feelings. Do you like this guy? It sounds like it. Have you told him? It doesn’t sound like it. Have you taken the initiative to ask him out again? If not, maybe you should try.
Don’t get me wrong; if the guy likes you he should totally ask you out. But maybe he has a bad case of the nerves, or maybe he doesn’t know how you feel about him. Like I said, guys can’t read minds––unless he knows for certain that you like him, I don’t think he’s going to take the risk of asking you out.
You’re right about one thing though: there is definitely a lack of communication, not just on his end, but on yours as well. If you like him, take the initiative and ask him out. The worst he can say is no, but given the situation, I think you’d get a solid yes.
