Saying that this week’s episode of The Bachelorette was intense would be a huge understatement. Kaitlyn was still dealing with the fallout from her off-camera romp with Nick, which slightly overshadowed her dates and dismissals of a few more would-be husbands. Throughout the evening, we couldn’t help but think that we were watching a bad romantic drama. The giant swells of violin music, the constant jealousy, guys storming off defiantly... Here are 13 moments we could’ve sworn came straight out of the movies.
1. They all (think they) love her
The Bachelorette always has to take things one step further than necessary, so Kaitlyn upgraded from a love triangle to a love hexagon this week. We really don’t buy that five guys are in love with her, but it would just be too boring if every one of them didn’t at least pretend to be, right?
2. The background music
Never has music been more extreme than it was during this episode. The insanely loud, melodramatic violins had us feeling like these people were heading off to battle rather than taking an all-expenses-paid jaunt around Ireland.
3. Ben H., the unlovable virgin
As if we didn’t have enough going on already, of course we needed Kaitlyn to jump to the crazy conclusion that Ben H. might be a virgin… just because he said he’s looking forward to talking in the fantasy suite. Ben H. was all too happy to announce he’s done the deed before—is it just us, or did she look relieved?
4. Joe’s cold goodbye
We know this franchise likes to stir up trouble, but what we’ll never truly know is if Joe was scorning Kaitlyn or producers when he stormed off in his oddly childish final moments on the show. We like to think Joe’s blindsided embarrassment justifies his somewhat harsh behavior, but editing sure made him look like a real jerk.
5. Kaitlyn’s nervous—and drawn out—confession
Kaitlyn felt she had to tell Shawn what happened between her and Nick. Except when she opened her mouth to speak nothing came out for a while. After all, getting to the point would be far too simple and completely ruin the moment’s suspense.
6. The excruciating silence
We understand that you’re shocked, but say something, Shawn. For the love of Chris Harrison, say something!
7. Shawn’s “I want you” speech
The night’s biggest shocker came when Shawn decided to forgo all Bachelorette guidelines to react in a mature, adult manner. And as he was telling Kaitlyn how much he wants her we were surprisingly transported to a scene from The Notebook. Gosling FTW!
8. Nick fuels the fire
Even when Nick was on Andi’s season, he just didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. Ever heard of internalization? You could practically see the guys’ blood boiling as Nick went on and on about his confidence in his relationship with Kaitlyn, while the camera panned around to catch every clenched jaw in the room.
9. Oh, the confidence
Nick’s confident. Shawn’s confident. Is anyone else left at this point? Not according to this episode. But you know the guy who boasts is usually the first to fall on his face.
10. Shawn can’t trust Kaitlyn
Flip-flopping through your feelings is a staple of romantic dramas, and Shawn wouldn’t want to disappoint the audience. He couldn’t stand the idea of accepting Kaitlyn’s rose until she answerd his questions about Nick. He can trust her; then he can’t. We’re going to need you to make up your mind, okay?
11. Jared puts on a brave face
Aww, poor Jared. We forgot you were here for a second. While telling Kaitlyn goodbye, we were pretty sure Jared was just as okay as he said he was. But as soon as the rejection van’s sliding door closed came the waterworks. A real man is always strong in front of his lady, even if she’s not his lady anymore. (At least that’s what we learned from all those Nicholas Sparks films.)
12. Nick and Kaitlyn eat the most awkward of breakfasts
Gone are the days when an episode ended with a rose ceremony, so suddenly we were off to the first overnight date with Nick. We really want to extend a humble thank you to whoever edited out the bedroom portion of their evening because we’ve had about all of their sex life we can take at this point. But apparently these dates now culminate with the couple being forced to eat breakfast together. Did anyone else hear crickets as Nick and Kaitlyn scarfed down room service in their jammies?
13. Shawn and Nick’s uncomfortable faceoff
This moment felt staged on so many levels. Yelling over each other, Shawn politely holding the door for the camera man to follow him into Nick’s hotel room, the extremely close quarters, and the abrupt need for confrontation. Ugh, cool down fellas.
What did you think about the dramatics of this week’s episode, collegiettes?