Prepare to Cringe at an Uncomfortably Awkward First Date Live Tweet

First dates can be tough. You're stressed about what to say, you're worried your skirt's riding up, you spill water from the pitcher when you're pouring or you slurp your spaghetti just a little too loudly (Note: Never order spaghetti on a first date). But apparently that's not all that can go wrong—you may just wind up sitting across from a self-obsessed narcissist who's an embarrassingly stereotypical writer.

Thankfully, there are other, amused writers nearby to document the absurd happenings of such first dates. Prepare for an uncomfortably awkward immersion into the experience of two oblivious first-daters, as recorded via live tweet by Toronto-based writer Anne Thériault.

First, we're given a quick intro—one that elicits immediate interest, of course. 

Then, we see what she means. 

Oh please, did he really just say that?

And if it couldn't get worse, he then becomes overtly rude and probably sexist.

Yes, this is in fact real, and not a poorly written YA romance novel. 

And now, for the well-deserved, much-anticipated and hilariously obvious bailout. 

Well, now that we're mortified for mystery man, we can't help but wonder what all of our own awkward life events would look like in live tweet. On second thought, we'd rather not know.

Anyway, for a writer, mystery man sure lacks originality. Thériault, on the other hand, is someone we'd love to read again. For the full recounting, you can visit her Twitter.