After dating the same person for months or years, it’s hard to imagine the single life. Who’s gonna be the big spoon? Who can I booty call at 2 p.m. without it being weird? Plus, that whole heartbreak thing is not easy. But there are actually a ton of good things that come out of a breakup like this, once you let go and embrace being single. Don’t believe us? These collegiettes have been through it and they never looked back.
1. You get to be selfish
When you're in a LTR, everything is about “us.” From what you're eating for breakfast to what time you're hitting the bar, you have someone else to consider. But the single life is all about doing what you want to do, when you want to do it.
Kasia Jaworski, a recent Villanova University graduate, got out of a 3-year relationship in September. She says, "You're almost forced to take care of yourself after a breakup but in the end, sometimes that's a huge perk to being newly single." How often do you get an excuse to just totally think about you? When you’re newly single, logistics are a non-issue, because you’re working with one schedule, and one set of thoughts and emotions. Spontaneity is less risky, because the only person you have to please is yourself!
2. You can discover new things about yourself
When you're in a long-term relationship Kasia says, "You spend a lot of your time considering another person's wants/needs." But once you have free reign to think totally for yourself, trying new things and putting yourself out there is so healthy. Kasia explains that her breakup "helped [her] discover a little more about [herself] and find new passions." Who knows, maybe you're secretly a tai chi master and your ex was holding you back from your true calling! There’s no reason that a relationship should take you away from being your true self.
3. There are new opportunities
Ashley Dreyton, a senior at Georgia State University, was in a relationship for over two years. She says that once she moved on from the breakup, opportunities for what she could do individually just kept landing in her lap. Ashley explains, "I was finally doing things I wanted to do in regards to blogging and writing, school involvement and also starting my HC chapter! I feel as though if I didn't close that door, all of these other doors would not have opened for me." Sometimes focusing on a relationship can obstruct our personal visions.
4. It can make you a whole lot happier
Sometimes, dysfunctional relationships can cause more harm than happiness. Holding on to a relationship because it's what you know can hold you back from finding your bliss. Ashley shares that for her, "Letting go of a dysfunctional relationship let me focus on me, regain happiness and do what I love." When you’ve been in a comfortable relationship for a while, it can be hard to realize that what you really need is to be single and independent. Leaving a relationship can help you figure out what wasn’t working for you, leading you to seek healthier relationships in the future.
5. You have a chance to plan for the future
Relationships can get you stuck in a rut with your partner and yourself. Getting wrapped up in life as a couple can steer you away from your personal goals. Kristen Kraemer, a graduate of Rutgers University emphasizes, “It's so important to be able to live your own life outside of a relationship.” She adds, “Leaving a long-term one (especially if you're unhappy or things aren't working out) is a great way to evaluate what you want in the future and take time to spend with yourself.” So make a dream board, or get out your journal from those pre-relationship days and think about what it is you want.
How will you embrace the single life, collegiettes?
