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20 Things That Happen When You Watch The Oscars

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It's awards season, and they've saved the best for last. Between the red carpet coverage and the show itself, we'll probably dedicate close to four hours to watching the Oscars - and that's totally okay with us. These are the 20 things that will happen when you get cozy on the couch and tune into the 2015 Academy Awards.

1. First things first, you have to get everything on your Oscars viewing party checklist.

Whether you're watching alone or with friends, you'll still need wine, Chinese takeout and your phone to live tweet.

2. The red carpet begins, and so does your official ranking of every dress and tux. 

(And hair, if Jared Leto shows up.)

3. You know exactly which ones the fashion police will rip to shreds later, and that makes it all the more fun.

...Unless the woman in question is one of your faves, in which case you will do your best to rationalize her outfit choice. "You guys, Scarlett rocks the alien queen look. She totally did it just because she could."

4. You can't wait to see a female celeb call out an interviewer on a sexist question.

Keep 'em coming - these ladies have comebacks for DAYS.

5. Maybe most fun of all, you get to fangirl over all of the adorable couples.

Seriously, when is someone going to stare at us like Channing stares at Jenna??? 

6. By the time the red carpet is over, you're tingling with excitement to hear the opening monologue.

Motion for NPH, Ellen or Tina and Amy to host every award show every year for the rest of time. Who's with us?!

7. The show begins, as does the drinking game.

Step 1: Fill wine glass.

Step 2: Sip whenever you're jealous of an Oscar winner.

8. Someone will inevitably screw up their lines...

You had one job. One job.

9. ...And at least ten winners will say, "Wow, this thing is heavy!"

Did you think it was made of plastic??

10. You make mental notes about who has the best speeches...

Um, Lupita's last year. Enough said.

11. ...And who has the worst.

If the music starts playing, get off the stage. We know you're thankful for every member of Warner Brothers, thanks. 

12. You're definitely excited about all of the musical performances to break up some of the boring awards.

But, honestly, can we just get Bey on stage to replace each act?

13. Halfway through, you're wondering if the show always seems this long.

Three hours? Well, homework will have to wait.

14. You wish they would do a better job at selecting the awards they show.

Sorry, no one is holding her breath to see which foreign animated short film wins. We wish we cared, but we only have so much to give.

15. And don't even get us started on the tributes and memorials they try to get people to cry over each year.

"Wow, a twenty-minute video showcasing dead Oscar winners! This is so inspiring!" Said no one ever. Actually, you're too busy crying. Thanks for killing the buzz, Oscars.

16. Really, you're just waiting for a moment that could top some of Ellen's legendary moves from last year. 

Taking that iconic selfie AND ordering pizza?! Good luck keeping up, Neil Patrick Harris.

17. All the while, you're live-Tweeting everything from people's facial expressions to how Meryl Streep still looks so good.

Pro tip: Make good use of those Tweets and use whatever hashtag is trending to gain followers.

18. By the time the show's almost over, you're slightly tipsy from trying to keep up with the game, and you're only in it to see who wins the big awards. 

Note to self: It will ALWAYS be worth it to wait for the Best Actress speech. #women #blessed 

19. When the credits roll, awards season is over until next year. As is your happiness.

*Sobs quietly into wine glass*

20. But, that's okay, because tomorrow you get to read all of the recaps! Fashion police fans, rejoice!

Yay for official dress rankings and people whining online about how their favorites didn't win!


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