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Thoughts You Have When You Fall for a Straight Girl

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We all know the number one queer-girl dating rule: Don’t fall for a straight girl. It’s a huge no-no. You can save yourself a lot of heartbreak if you just comply with this one simple rule. But… sometimes you can’t help yourself. Here are all of the things that might run through your head during this heart-wrenching mess.

When you kind of already know there’s a 75 percent chance you’re going to be heartbroken…

And you know your friends are going to get upset with you and try to talk you out of it…

But you can’t help but like her, because, well, she’s SUUUPER cute!

The way her baby-soft hair flows in the wind…

The way her nose crinkles when she laughs…

Is this knot in your stomach the result of butterflies, or impending doom?

Whatever. You decide you’re going for it. You’ll never know if she’s interested until you ask, right?

Maybe she’s just super femme

So you try to sit next to her to start a conversation.

…Only to watch her have eye sex with the guy behind her.

But she does tell you that if she was gay, you would ~*totally be her type*~

So you go to a house party to make your moves on her…

And now, she’s FINALLY flirting back!

Or maybe it was the two cups of jungle juice she just chugged...

But who cares, you’re dancing! You’re having a great time and it’s going well!

But then she introduces the annoying quarterback as her new boyfriend…

And in that moment you swear you’re going to be single for the rest of your life…

But you know…maybe you’re better off.

After all, you might have just saved yourself a whole lot of heartbreak.

So it looks like Alex Vause was probably right in this situation.


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