The Bachelor certainly wouldn’t be the show we’ve all come to love without a little bit of bad behavior. It’s even expected at this point. But this week’s episode in particular had the ladies—and even Chris—committing crimes ranging from breaking and entering to murder. Below, we’ve got our arrest warrants at the ready along with designated punishment for these awful crimes.
Kimberly's return
The rules of the game clearly state that when you’re asked to leave—especially on the first night—it’s time to take a moment and say your goodbyes. But when Kimberly waltzed right back in for a second chance, Chris made the fatal mistake of letting her stay. Her return was short and sweet as he sent her packing again at the end of the night but not before making her shamelessly ride a tractor through L.A. in her bikini.
Crime: Trespassing
Punishment: Not sorry to see you go… again!
Chris... and that outfit
We were promised a sexy farmer as the Bachelor, so whatever stylist has taken it upon herself to dress Chris in shorty-short swim trunks and bright blue hoodies without proper shirts on underneath (remember his horrid pool party outfit?) better respect his and our boundaries.
Crime: Fraud
Punishment: We’ll let you off with a warning, Chris, if you promise to take back control of your wardrobe.
Jillian & Megan
These two thought it would be fun to snoop through Chris’s house, conveniently located at the end of the mansion’s driveway, while he was out on a date. They do know that’s not actually Chris’s stuff in there, right? Because who would park his motorcycle in the middle of his bedroom?
Crime: Breaking and entering
Punishment: We sentence you to bikini bottoms that cover your entire bums, a not-so-graceful slip at the rose ceremony, and a major headache from repeatedly banging your head against Chris’s wood-paneled walls.
Mackenzie
The #1 rule of a first date? Don’t mention aliens or how big your date’s nose is. Mackenzie did both, and that was after she blurted out that she has a son appropriately named Kale. Watch and cringe.
Crime: Harassment
Punishment: Many alien children named after other trendy greens.
Ashley S.
After not fully realizing the point of zombie paintball is not to shoot your own teammates, Ashley S. headed out to the battlefield with guns blazing. Not only did she kill her fair share of the undead but she also kicked them once they were down and strangely shouted “We will kill you!”
Crimes: Murder, aggravated assault
Punishment: A night alone with the zombies in the dome/Mesa Verde.
Jordan
Are we the only ones who are still a bit confused about who Jordan is? Regardless, she should have learned from Tara’s drunken mistakes last week before desperately trying to make out with Chris. Not attractive!
Crimes: Public intoxication, disorderly conduct
Punishment: A plane ticket home and a 12-step program.
Ashley I.
Ashley I. had just been bragging about her virgin status before climbing on top of Chris in front of all the other girls at the cocktail party. As if it could get any worse, she also told him to rub her belly button ring and make three wishes.
Crime: Solicitation
Punishment: You must relinquish your spider-like eyelashes and all bodily piercings for the remainder of the season—including The Women Tell All!
What other deplorable acts do you think we’ll see this season, collegiettes?
