We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.
I met this guy through some mutual friends, and he asked if I would help with a project he’s working on. After meeting him a couple of times to work on the project, he invited me over to dinner—just the two of us. We ate and watched a movie, and then he initiated us making out. I don't know him that well yet, so he's still quiet and hard to read. Is he just interested in sex, or could he be interested in me as a person, too? –Perplexed in Texas
Texas,
I think it’s entirely possible that he might be interested in you as a person. Do I think it’s probable? Not really, no.
More likely, he confused your generosity for flirtation and thought repeated visits meant that you were down for some fun. For some reason, some guys think that if a girl spends time with them, then she must be interested in something more. Clearly, they think, she wants to hook up. Is it a logical thought process? No. But men aren’t always creatures of logic.
The fact that you don’t know him that well and that he is “quiet and hard to read” aren’t necessarily factors here. And sure, if we were in a romantic comedy, this might end with the two of you realizing how many things you have in common and how you were always supposed to be together. That’s not the world we live in, though, and I’m pretty sure that isn’t what’s going on here.
I hate to say it, Texas, but it sounds like this guy just wanted to see if you were down with hooking up. Dinner and a movie seem like a not-so-subtle setup disguised as a “thank you” for your help, a hook-up disguised as something innocent. I say this because it’s something I’ve seen other college guys do before, and I wouldn’t put it past a hormonal dude.
This whole thing just seems too convenient to me, and the most realistic scenario is that he misunderstood your repeated help as a desire to do something more. I can’t really say I blame him because, foolishly, I’ve done the same thing.
If it’s something you’re not interested in, let him down easy. If not, have fun!