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17 Things That Happen When You're at Your Hometown Bar

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Call it the product of living in a small town, but it seems like these days there are only a few bars worth attending in your hometown. Too bad that everyone else knows about them, too. The result? Every night out during winter break is like the high school reunion that you never asked for. 

1. Why does everyone congregate at this bar? It's like the high school class of 2011 watering hole. 

And class of 2010 and 2009, really? 2008? Why are you people still in this bar? 

2. Oh, wait, there are some girls from the grade below you...

Pretty sure they're not 21. 

3. Whatever, you and your friends will just grab some drinks and find a spot to judge everyone. 

It's what you all do best. 

4. Look who's here. It's Amy, the girl who stole your boyfriend senior year. You wish you could just...

It might've been four years ago, but I will still cut you, Amy. 

5. And there are all of your high school exes in one place. How convenient. 

Not.

6. Everyone is treating you like you haven't changed a bit since you graduated high school. 

It's been four years. That's not true, right? Right?!

7. Why are we all hugging one another? 

You probably couldn't even tell me what college I go to without consulting Facebook.

8. "Let's grab coffee! I'd love to catch up!"—That girl who was never nice to you. Ever. 

How about we don't and say we did. 

9. Was that your high school crush you just saw?

Yup, still hot. 

10. Weren't we supposed to wait a few more years before getting together to humblebrag?

Humblebragging is nice when it's you doing the bragging, but this is just annoying. 

11. Let's pretend it's not totally weird to dance with a guy in front of the people who watched you go through puberty. 

Just kidding, it's way too awkward.

12. Wow, it's like every girl you've ever known is in the bathroom right now.

And it looks like Carla is still a drunk crier. 

13. Some things never change. 

Except you. You've changed. But the girls dancing on the bar are the girls you always knew would be dancing on the bar. 

14. If you have to tell one more person what you're doing after you graduate, you're going to explode. 

This is worse than what happens at family parties. Especially because it seems like everyone has their life together but you.

15. You're going to need another shot—or four—if you're going to stay here all night.

Keep 'em coming. 

16. You really lucked out with your group of high school friends. 

Because who else would have endured this pain with you?

17. Some of these people aren't half bad, but you'll probably find another bar to go to next weekend. 

And every weekend for the rest of your life. 


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