The reason you don't hear about positive travel experiences is because traveling is never actually pleasant. It's the story so depressing, even Dickens couldn't write it: A Tale of Traveling Between Two Cities, if you will.
You wake up in the morning feeling like the opposite of P. Diddy.
But you still grab everything you packed the night before (or the morning of) and head out.
Is your suitcase less than 50 pounds? Probably not.
You somehow talked your roommate into driving you to the airport at 4 in the morning, but let's just say she's not too happy about it.
Nothing a little coffee won't fix.
The airport is hell on wheels this morning because everyone wants to get home for break.
You just suck it up and go to the kiosk to print your boarding pass.
Great... you've got the aisle seat.
Say goodbye to the prime napping position that is the window seat.
Airport security is one of those places that will always make you feel guilty, even if you're doing nothing wrong.
Oh, you need to pat me down? Sure - I've always wanted to be publicly felt up.
But then the security officer takes away your moisturizer because it's too many ounces and you're like,
You need it!
You find a prime seat by your gate and you're just sitting there like,
Because watching everyone rush around is pretty hilarious, and you're ready to get home.
Just kidding, the flight's been delayed due to "bad weather conditions."
The. Worst.
You start to pray that you'll actually get onto your flight soon.
How can you bribe the stewardess to let you onto the plane anyway?
Why does everyone rush to the gate when they call Zone 1?
There is no way all of you people are in Zone 1.
You finally board and shove your carry-on into the overhead compartment.
Which is no easy task.
You sit down next to a man who looks nice enough, but you're so exhausted that you look like this:
And you're still on the lookout for that cutie you spotted going through security.
Oh, no - you didn't put your headphones in fast enough, and now the man is talking to you.
Not that you don't want to socialize, but you don't want to socialize.
Your ears are popping. You can't even hear him, but you'll nod along anyway.
And you wonder why he hasn't gotten the hint.
A few hours later...
You're begging for a nap.
Someone shut up that crying baby.
It's cute and all, but, really?
And while you're at it, that girl in row eight needs to simmer down, too.
Listen, girl: The person next to you doesn't want to hear about your trip to Tanzania. Literally nobody wants to hear about your trip to Tanzania.
Finally you land, and everyone suddenly thinks that just because the plane stopped, it's time to stand up.
We have to wait, people!
You have to awkwardly maneuver your carry-on out of the compartment without hitting anyone.
And it's impossible. There are casualties.
Time to play the "Is Your Luggage Going to Show Up?" game.
It's a game of chance, really.
Somehow your suitcase made it, so you grab that bad boy and run.
Your parents know to leave the car running so you can make your grand exit.
It may have been a long day, but you're home, and there's no place you'd rather be.
Because home is where the food is.
Now just wait until you get to do it all again on the way back.
But until then, enjoy your break!
