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How to Handle Things With Your Crush Before Winter Break


So you didn't meet anyone you were into all semester, and then a week or two before break, the cutie in your psych class finally decided to talk to you. Worst timing ever, right? Whether you want to keep the conversation rolling or not, you have to wrap things up with your crush. We found out how to do this, depending on your situation.

The situation: You want to keep your crush around

If you’ve been talking

Let’s say that you and your crush usually study after class together or meet up at a certain bar with mutual friends. If nothing has happened between you two but you don’t want him or her out of your life, “have a final hangout like usual, in person,” says Laurel House, a dating coach and author ofScrewing the Rules: the No-Games Guide to Love. “Maybe suggest hanging out lightly if you are going to be in the same place. Be aware of his cues that he wants to see you, too.”

If you and your crush have only been texting or having short conversations, Mike Goldstein, a professional dating coach, suggests that you text the person to let him or her know you’re interested. Say something like, “‘It was great getting to know you. I can’t wait to get to know you better,’” Goldstein says. “Give them some sort of compliment. If he’s interested, he’ll understand that you are, too.”

Whatever you do, “go in with the confidence that they might be into you,” House says. “Be enthusiastic, and don’t push it.”

Say you’d love to hear about his or her break and that you’ll let him or her know how yours is going. “Text him one week into break and tell him something that’s not, ‘how are you?’” House says. She suggests you say something along the lines of, “‘I did [fill in the blank] and it made me think of you,’ and always ask a question so he has a reason to respond.

If you haven’t been talking

So you’ve had your eye on someone for a while now, but you never got around to making a move. Is the end of the semester too late? For Goldstein, the answer is “no.”

His advice is to “make eye contact, wave or say ‘cheers’ [if you’re at a bar].” Goldstein explains that nonverbal language like this is a great way to express interest without freaking the person out.

If you guys have class together, House suggests waiting until your last lecture to say something like, “I’m going to miss seeing you every week! Hopefully we will have another class together next semester.” If you’re feeling daring, you can even try out this flirty line: “I loved our little glances during class. Maybe next year we can take those glances out of the classroom.”

“Yes, it’s forward, but it will definitely drive your point home!” House says.

If you and your crush hang out with the same social group, House suggests saying something like, “It’s too bad we didn’t get to know each other a little better this semester. I think you and I have a lot in common. But there’s always next semester…”

Finally, if your crush is someone you always see around campus, “make it a point to run into them and say, ‘It's so funny, we seem to always see each other in passing! Maybe next semester we can actually make a plan to hang out,’" House says. “If they seem into it too, suggest that you exchange cell phone numbers!”

If you don’t feel comfortable flirting so openly, body language is your ally. “Move in and out of his comfort space,” Goldstein says. “This should build some sexual tension and show that maybe you are interested in being more than friends.”

If you think your crush might like you back, it could be a good idea to approach him or her properly come the new semester. Some subtle ways to do this include little tricks like “ask[ing] him to take a picture of you and your friends,” Goldstein says. “Perhaps this will [make you] engage in conversation.” But the most effective way to make a move is to “just go talk to him!” Goldstein says. “Start with ‘hi.’” Easy enough!

The situation: You want to cut ties

If you don’t think your relationship with your crush has long-term potential, “the good news is that you’re going home [or elsewhere] for break,” House says. “Relationships dissolve at the end of a semester anyway.”

You will probably see your crush again next year, so House’s advice for avoiding any awkwardness is to hang out like normal, but this time without planning to keep in touch. “Talk about exciting break plans and sound super busy,” she says. “There is no reason to address your relation; just be super positive and say, ‘have a great break!’”

Vanessa*, a junior at Princeton University, was flirting with guys at the end of both of the past two years. “In both cases, I was not very invested and knew it would not continue and did not want it to,” Vanessa says. “I lacked enough interest in the guys or knew it was bad timing, and I wasn't in a place personally for anything serious.”

Both times, Vanessa and the guy in question grew apart naturally. “There was nothing dramatic,” she says. “I think all parties expected it to end, and as far as I know, there were no hurt feelings.”

However, you might find yourself in a situation where your crush wants more than you do. In this case, “the easiest thing to do is to keep increasing the length of time that it takes you to respond to a text to a few hours, then a few days, etc.,” Goldstein says. Usually the person will get the message and have his or her feelings spared, but “if he continues to talk to you, maybe ask to meet up in person and say you’re not interested,” Goldstein adds.

Finally, if you change your mind and realize you want to talk to your crush after all, “text him, ask how break is going, say that something made you think of him,” Goldstein says. At this point in the relationship, you don’t have much to lose anyway.

Crushing on someone is fun and exciting, but having it happen at the end of a semester isn’t the most ideal timing. That being said, if the two of you have potential, there is no reason why you can’t pick things up at the start of the new semester—with a little help from Her Campus, of course!

*Name has been changed.

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