Crime shows are, in two words, absolutely addicting. Maybe it's the suspense, or maybe it's the fact that the detectives and analysts are just so attractive. Either way, crime shows are like potato chips: You can't ever watch just one. Once you've started watching one series, you've begun your downward spiral into Netflix binge-watching until you can't remember which medical examiner belongs on which series and you're secretly wondering if your obsession is going a little too far. It's not. Embrace it.
1. You’re still holding out for your one true love: Detective Stabler.
The definition of the perfect man.
2. Or maybe Aaron Hotchner.
Even though he hardly ever smiles.
3. Okay, okay, Dr. Spencer Reid.
So smart. So beautiful.
4. Forget being an astronaut - you want to be Olivia Benson when you grow up.
Because she is the queen of kicking butt and taking names.
5. You’re pretty positive that you could be a criminal profiler if you really put your mind to it.
Oh yeah. Easy peasy.
6. So when you first meet someone, you can’t help but wonder if he or she might be a sociopath.
Is it normal to ask your date if he has some unresolved tension with his mother?
7. Your family wonders if it’s healthy for you to sit in front of your computer watching hours of Law & Order: SVU.
Probably not.
8. You definitely have an opinion on which Law & Order is the best.
Whether you like plain ol'Law & Order, Law & Order: Criminal Intentor Law & Order: SVU, your choice says a lot about you.
9. The same goes for CSI.
But everyone knows that it's not CSI: Miami.
10. You’ve figured out how all of the plotlines of these shows usually work.
You think you've got your perp? It's only been 20 minutes! You've got the wrong guy!
11. You know how hard it is to fall asleep after watching one too many episodes.
Just try to think happy thoughts. Just look at Stabler and Benson and how perfect they are.
12. You cried when your favorite characters left the series.
You're emotionally attached, okay?
13. You like to throw random legal jargon into casual conversation so that everyone knows you know the law and you’re not afraid to use it.
OVERRULED. SUSTAINED. PLEASE APPROACH THE BENCH.
14. Because you think that watching crime shows makes you an expert on crime.
And you are... sort of.