Are you a smart and savvy pre-collegiette looking for answers to some of your most personal questions about college? You know, the ones about boys, classes, roommates and parties that your school’s guidance office can’t help you with? Jen is here to answer those questions! Whatever your concern, she’ll do her best to help you so you can make sure you don’t just survive college, but rock it!
What do I talk about with those whom I meet at orientation over text? We are in the same major, but that's the only thing we have in common that I know about. – Amy
Amy,
I remember orientation vividly. It was full of random small talk, free food (lots of chocolate chip cookies—no complaints here!) and wondering if the people I was speaking with would be long-lasting friends or passing acquaintances. Everyone is in the same boat of being both excited and nervous for college life, and once everybody in your class year gets together during welcome week activities on campus, you can all share in that awkwardness together!
The process you’ll take on how to talk with people you met at orientation totally depends on when your orientation was. If it’s right before the start of school, you can text to arrange meet-ups and just get to know them in person after you experience all of the equally awkward welcome week activities. On the other hand, if it’s months before school starts, texting isn’t the only answer. Try using a group chat on Facebook, which is a great way to get to know one another. You may have done this to start conversation with your randomly assigned new roommates, too. When you use Facebook chat instead of texting, more people can get involved in the conversation. Plus, it puts less pressure on responding right away, which is nice when you’re just getting to know people.
Once you meet people in your own major, the best way to get to know them at the beginning stages of your friendship is to see them in person at least once after orientation instead of texting right away. You can text the person or the group to hang out and then get to know them face-to-face. This will help you to get to know them better, because when you’re talking face-to-face with someone, there’s a better sense of connection between new people. You’ll be able to get a sense of what they’re like based on body language and personalities – two important details that aren’t present when you’re texting.
The students in my major had to take placement exams for certain classes in the major during the first week of class, so we texted to get together and study. This was fun because it was productive, but then led to good conversation afterwards. For the record, you will run into your acquaintances again at some point beyond orientation, either in class or somewhere on campus. If you’re interested in forming friendships with them, it’s a great idea to begin reaching out to them early on while everything is still new and exciting.
To get the conversation going, a compliment is always a great start. Since you’re new friends, you won’t be able to give them in-depth compliments about their character, but a simple “I love your shirt!” will make both of you feel comfortable with each other and can get further conversation going (“You love shopping at Charlotte Russe, too?”). Also, everyone enjoys a little bit of social media love. Next time you see one of your new friends put a new photo on Instagram, double tap it as a nice little gesture.
Once you have your in-person hangout, it’ll be a little easier to start texting. You can text your group to suggest getting lunch together sometime or coffee in the student union, since everyone loves having an excuse to eat or get a caffeine fix, right? From there, you’ll be able to bring up common get-to-know-you topics, such as where you’re from and why you choose your major.
When it comes to talking with students in your major, you can start out by asking questions related to the major without getting too academic. For example, if you’re an English major connecting with another English major, ask the person what her favorite book is or who her favorite author is. This keeps the convo related to topics you’ll both be interested in and allows you to get to know that person specifically. After you take those basic first steps, then you can start talking about a larger variety of topics that are unrelated to your major, like if she saw Divergent this summer and if she thinks it’s socially acceptable to make Theo James your #mancrushmonday every Monday.
Don’t stress too much about struggling to find topics to talk about over text with your orientation friends. Start small and think of one simple topic to talk about, like weekend plans, and let the conversation go from there.