After weeks of preparation, strutting around campus in your favorite dresses and meeting with girl after girl, it’s finally the end of sorority rush. Throughout the process, you had your eye set on one house, and you hoped that the odds were in your favor. But what happens when your top pick passes you by, or you’re left bid-less altogether? Although it may be difficult to deal with at first, you will get through it (we promise)! Stay positive, and follow our dos and don’ts for how to deal if you didn’t get into a sorority.
1. DON’T let it ruin your year
It’s normal to feel disappointed and upset, but letting not getting into a sorority define the rest of your year is a different story. There’s nothing that a little Ben & Jerry’s and a Sex and the City marathon can’t fix. After getting the much deserved post-rush R&R, you need to get back into the world! Wallowing (aka watching every Ryan Gosling movie ever created) will only help you so much.
Marie*, a senior at Michigan State University, rushed her freshman year and didn’t receive a bid. From her experience, she learned that having an open mind is important for coping with the outcome. “You are going to have sororities that do not want you, and that can be hard for anybody to deal with,” she says. “I think it’s best to keep things in perspective and keep in mind that you are talking to a couple of the girls for a short amount of time, and so you can't really let their opinions affect or define you.”
2. DO join other clubs
There are plenty of opportunities to meet friends on campus; Greek life is just one of the many outlets to consider. To find the perfect club for you, start by attending organization fairs or looking online to see which clubs are offered at your school. When people say there’s something for everyone, they really mean it (The University of Michigan even has a squirrel-feeding club!). Interested in philanthropy? Join Relay for Life. Looking to meet journalism lovers? Check out your school’s chapter of Her Campus. Extracurricular activities are the perfect outlet for making friends and doing something that you truly enjoy. In no time, you’ll forget that you even participated in rush!
3. DON’T let the jealousy get to you
You and your BFF decided to rush together, and now you’re left without a sorority while she received a bid from your top pick (yikes). When it comes to rushing, it’s easy to take things personally (why’d they choose her and not me?), but for the sake of your sanity and happiness, you can’t let jealousy get the best of you.
To keep the jealousy at bay, it’s best to stay busy and keep your mind off of it. At first, we recommend avoiding any and all social media accounts during the post-rush frenzy (cue the annual newsfeed flood of sorority-squat photos). As much as you want to live vicariously through the posts, it will only make things worse. Instead, spend time with your roommates, meet new people down the hall and do whatever you can to avoid turning green with envy. Before you know it, classes will pick up the pace and your free time will be sacrificed for late-night library dates. Focus on school and joining a club or two, and there will be no time to dwell on your rush experience.
4. DO rush a professional fraternity
You don’t have to join a Panhellenic sorority in order to get involved with Greek life. Have you ever considered rushing a professional fraternity? Similar to social sororities and fraternities, professional fraternities provide collegiettes with social events and philanthropy opportunities. They differentiate themselves by bringing students together with similar academic interests to serve as an outlet for professional and career-related growth, so you get the best of both worlds!
Elyse, a junior at the University of Michigan, says she tried rushing social sororities at first, but found a better fit in the professional Greek system. “[Panhellenic] wasn't the right fit for me at the time, and I found my niche in professional Greek life,” she says. “There are a lot of benefits associated with rushing a professional fraternity: professional development, a co-ed social group, networking opportunities in your field, personal growth and, of course, the skills necessary for success after undergrad.”
There are professional fraternities for just about every interest out there from music to chemical engineering, so it’s a great idea to look into the groups established at your school!
5. DO consider rushing again (but be cautious)
After an unfortunate first experience, throwing yourself back into the rush process can be intimidating. But if you’re dying to try again, it’s worth a shot! Just keep in mind that rush could be more difficult the second time around.
If you’re looking to bring more to the table for rush, keep in mind that philanthropy is a crucial aspect of Greek life. You can become involved in volunteer work as a way to help the local community and to boost your credentials. Also, by involving yourself on campus, you might meet a few sorority sisters along the way. Networking is a great way to get your name out there and become a more desirable candidate.
Krista, a junior at the University of Michigan and sister of Sigma Kappa, says if girls decide to re-rush, they shouldn’t put all of their effort into joining a specific sorority. “Give every single house an opportunity,” she says. “Some people go into (rush) and they think they know what house they want. You have to give every single house a chance.” Don’t cut houses from your list unless you really don’t want to be a part of it. Ruling out houses too soon can backfire in the end.
Although re-rushing can be intimidating, it’s important to put your true self out there. Krista says that bids are given to girls who are excited about their sorority and who can bring their genuine personality to the table. “You need to show us that you are enthusiastic about our house and that you want to be committed,” she says. “The whole rush process seems very superficial and fake, so being yourself helps you stand out from the other girls.”
You didn’t get into a sorority, but don’t let it bring you down! Follow our dos and don’ts for how to deal, and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.
*Name has been changed.
