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My Child Gritty Is Thrilled About His First Snow Day

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As the eastern United States sees some of the first bits of snow of the season, the Internet's favorite orange nightmare muppet (who is also, full-disclosure, my most favorite true-born child) celebrated the first-ever snow day of  short, terrifying life. 

Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers' deeply uncomfortable but impossibly culturally resonant mascot, took to Twitter on Thursday to herald the coming of the "zamboni dust" that fell from the sky. He presumably lives a v sheltered, if zany, life and is too busy menacing other rival mascots to learn about the weather. But that is fine – if only because it lets us experience his firsts with the innocent, wild, googly eyes of a newborn. 

Not unlike my gentle, simple Yorkshire terrier during his first snow storm, Gritty went on to frolic in this goddamn winter wonderland like it was the only joy he'd ever know— whimsically catching snow flakes and dancing, reminding us all of less-painful winters past and the happiness we were once (maybe) capable of feeling. 

He then looked on all that he had scooted through and saw that it was very good. Declaring that he not only loved it but "LOVEEEEEEE[s] IT."

Because his journey into the winter weather was so thrilling, the Weather Channel reached out about featuring his videos. Gritty gave permission, but not before asking the important, hard-hitting questions. 

For those who aren't initiated into the pure and wholesome fandom of this mascot, Gritty (who, to be clear, may be a sports mascot, but ultimately belongs to the people) was officially welcomed by the city of Philadelphia this past fall with a resolution from the city council.

In that resolution, they wrote that he was "a 7-foot tall orange hellion, a fuzzy eldritch horror, a ghastly empty-eyed Muppet with a Delco beard, a cross of Snuffleupagus and Oscar the Grouch, a deranged orange lunatic, an acid trip of a mascot, a shaggy orange Wookiee-esque grotesquerie, a non-binary leftist icon, an orange menace, a raging id, and an antihero. He has been characterized as huggable but also potentially insurrectionary, ridiculous, horrifying, unsettling, and absurd." 

And if that's not our winter vibe, IDK what is. 


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