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How to Pick Things Back up With Last Year’s Crush


That boy across the hall from you last semester was fine with a capital “F.” You had never made it official, but you went on countless movie dates, engaged in tons of cuddle sessions and walked around campus hand in hand. You had a blast, so it’s no wonder you miss him! In fact, you may even be interested in picking back up where you left off. After all, it’s never too late to reignite the flame, collegiettes!

Check out our tips for getting back with that cutie you just can’t stop thinking about once fall semester starts.

1. Acknowledge the communication lapse

So you both lost touch over the summer. That’s okay! NYC-based relationship and dating coach Lindsay Chrisler says that up-front sincerity is the best policy. “I would say that the best approach is to be honest,” she says. “Acknowledge what happened that had the communication fallout. Acknowledge that things may have changed since you last spoke.”

Whatever may have happened — he lives far away, you were focused on your internship, he studied abroad — don’t make it the elephant in the virtual room! Sending him a text like, “I know we lost touch this summer because my family went to London, but I’m hoping we can reconnect. Had so much fun with you last year!” is a fantastic way to break the awkward ice.

2. Send him flirtatious texts and photos

Now for the fun part: Flirty texts to spark his memory of the fun times you both had and could still have. Don’t overthink it; just be yourself! After the initial small talk, take measures to heat things up.

“Keep the communication light and fun,” says Suzanne Oshima, matchmaker at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. “Send fun, flirty texts or photos of something that reminds you of a time you were both out having fun.”

Shoot him a pic of you and your girls out on the boat (your cute American Eagle sundress will jog his memory real fast). If you’re at a BBQ, send him a photo of those prime ribs (What better way to bond with a man than by means of food?). If you once went on a sushi date together and happen to be indulging in some A+ rolls, text him a shot: “Remember this?” Guys are visual creatures, so by sending him awesome photos, you’ll (re)pique his interest. However, be sure not to overdo it — you don’t want to come on too strong. A couple pics here and there should do the trick!

3. Stay away from the “psycho girlfriend” stuff

Since you both left for the summer and didn’t make it official before the break hit, you definitely can’t hold any of his recent actions (read: romantic/sexy endeavors) against him.

“What's important to remember [is] that when you're contacting him, you are not his girlfriend,” Oshima says. “So you can't hold him to the same accountability as a girlfriend would.”

Basically, don’t get pissed about those Instagram pics in which he’s hugging some babe with a perfect beach body. And don’t creepily interrogate him about his whereabouts, either! Being clingy is a no-no.

“You want to stay on his mind, but not be overbearing,” Oshima says. “Which means no quizzing him on who that girl is he's in a picture with on his Facebook page, or asking him who he was out with last night.  If you do that, he's not going to want to see you when you get back in the fall.”

Keep your side of the conversation calm and relaxed. Even if you are jealous, don’t ever let your envy show — that would mean a serious subtraction in your sexy points.

4. Go on an easy date

If the conversations have been going well and he lives (somewhat) nearby, try planning a low-maintenance, no-hassle date.

“Send a friendly text to your crush suggesting sharing stories and catching up [on] how both of your vacations were over a cup of coffee,” says matchmaker, author and motivational speaker Marla Martenson.

Starbucks date = no pressure. And sharing snippets of your summers with last year’s cutie over Cinnamon Dolce Frappuccinos? Not bad. Not bad at all.

If he doesn’t live nearby, don’t fret. A “Catch up over ice cream when we get back?” text will do just fine. And make sure to follow up! Once fall hits and you’re both back at school, text him a reminder of the date and plan for a day and time.

It may take a while to heat things back up, but this cutie is probably worth a little time spent in the love microwave. Remember to acknowledge the communication break, send him flirty texts and photos, avoid the overbearing girlfriend crap (no guy is a fan of that) and plan for a sweet date. From there, anything’s possible, collegiettes!

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