We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.
This guy is about three years older than me. We met through work, and I thought we hit it off. He followed me back on Twitter, so I decided to reach out and ask if he wanted to go to an event with me on the weekend. He told me he'd like to, but he wasn't sure if he could get a ride there. I gave him my number, and he ended up texting me to say that he couldn't go. We have chatted once since then (it's been just over a week), but he seems really short with me. Do you think he just doesn't like texting, or does he just not like me? –Wondering at Work in Wisconsin
Wisconsin,
Some people — some of my friends included — just hate texting. Their answers are consistently short and always read like they’re uninterested in talking. These kinds of people usually prefer face-to-face communication or talking on the phone, at the very least.
However, given the rundown you’ve supplied me with, I’d suggest not pursuing this guy anymore. It seems to me that this guy is giving you the runaround, so I don’t think he’s actually interested in going out with you. Generally, if a guy wants to go out with someone, he’ll find a way to do so come hell or high water. From what I understand, this guy just seemed hesitant to go out. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to date a coworker (which can be a sticky situation — I’m watching a similar situation between coworkers unfold at my local coffee place right now), or maybe he just isn’t into you.
However, I think even if he was interested, it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea to date this guy anyway.
One fact that concerns me is that he didn’t know if he could get a ride to go out with you. I understand that not every person has a car, but do you really want to be the one who has to pick him up for dates all the time? Worse, do you want him to have to rely on his friends for rides to dates all the time? That responsibility is eventually going to get very tiring and very expensive (have you seen the price of gas lately?). Even if you stay on campus for dates, something just seems iffy about him needing a ride to go out — almost as if he was using that as an excuse so he wouldn’t just have to turn you down outright.
On top of that, let’s say you do go out. Let’s say, worst-case scenario, it doesn’t work out. Now you two have to work together in awkward silence until things get patched up. Dating coworkers is frowned upon for a reason, and I’d hate to see you become a textbook example of one of those reasons.
Also, do you really want to go out with someone who seems so uninterested in talking to you? I feel like you’re the one putting in all the work for a guy who appears to have little to no interest in going out, and I’m afraid you’re wasting your time.
Don’t risk your job for this one, Wisconsin. Drop the crush, find yourself a guy with good communication habits (and maybe a car?) and move on.