I'm pretty sure Jewish girls are a species all their own. Some of the stuff that we do would not be considered normal in "the real world," aka around non-Jews. If you're gonna date one of us, there are some things that you will definitely have to get used to.
1. What's a Jewish girl's favorite thing to make for dinner?
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A reservation! I make the best matzo ball soup ever, but I'm not trying to cook for other people.
2. We use a lot of words you won't understand
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Schlep: a long trip. Schvitz: sweat. Goy: you.
3. We're always down for sushi
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Jewish girls LOVE sushi. We're not gonna eat anything with shellfish, but we LOVE sushi.
4. If you meet her Camp Friends, you'll be totally lost
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They have years and years of inside jokes that they can convey with just a look. They won't catch you up. Make sure your phone is charged. You just wouldn't get it.
5. Her and her Camp Friends have all dated each other (or hooked up)
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But you have nothing to worry about. It was probably just a result of camp goggles.
6. Her family's food is the best, no matter what
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#ShitJewishGirlsSay: "My mom's matzo ball soup is way better than this."
7. The first question her family will ask when they find out she has a new SO is, "Are they Jewish?"
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We're not getting married, so does it really matter?
8. We love to complain
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The weather, our hair, our new Canada Goose jacket getting dirty… we love to complain.
9. We're always hungry
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And if you come to one of our family meals, you better come hungry and wear pants with a stretchy waistband.
10. We all wear the same opal hamsa necklace
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Most of us have them in the classic turquoise, and we all got them in Israel. Same goes for our Hadaya rings.
11. We've been on a program to Israel
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And it was the best summer/semester/year/10 days of our life!
12. We are amazing at Jewish geography
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My cousin probably knows your sister's best friend. Did she do USY, or did she go to Ramah?
13. Friday nights are not date night
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Unless you want to have a second dinner at like 10 p.m.?
14. Our flat iron is probably our best friend
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For some reason, our hair seems to be a lot frizzier than everyone else's. We are not strangers to every type of chemical straightening on the planet. Also, if we leave our hair natural and you say it looks "frizzy" when it's actually just curly (there is a difference!), then we will hate you forever.
15. We probably call our parents multiple times a day, in addition to having a "Fam Jam" group chat
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We just like to chat with them.
16. We know what celebrities are Jewish, and we probably have at least one mutual friend with them
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Abbi and Ilana are Jewess princesses.
17. We'll say L'chaim for literally anything
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Taking a shot at the bar? L'chaim!