The summer has a bit of a magical element to it. The air is sweet, the sun is hot—and is it just us, or do the boys look cuter? It’s the perfect recipe for a sexy whirlwind romance free of hassles, commitment, and drama! Read on for tips on how to snag the kind of summer fling that you thought was only possible in the movies.
1. DO get rid of that old flame who has been holding you back.
Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend or a love interest that just doesn’t seem to be heading anywhere, now is the time to do away with anything that may be holding you back from having a carefree summer fling. Cut the cord on these stale romances and explore other possibilities. Nicole, a collegiette from the University of Pittsburgh, did just that. “I wasted half the summer before I realized that we were just stringing each other along with no future in sight,” Nicole says. “It was fun for a little, especially during the boring winter months, but I knew it was time to end it when I looked at all my friends meeting new guys and having fun.” Don’t keep a guy around who’s dragging you down when there are so many other opportunities out there!
2. DO finally make a move on the guy you’ve had your eye on for a while.
We all have that one guy who has always caught our attention, but for some reason, things have never gone too far beyond, “Hey, how’s it going?” According to Molly, a student from Duquesne University, there’s no better time than summer to change that. She had always been a little nervous and hesitant to get too close to Richie* until one hot night in June when she found herself hanging out with friends on his back porch.
“We were talking, listening to music, and the weather was perfect,” she says. “I decided that there wasn’t ever going to be a better time or place to put myself out there, so I finally hinted that I was interested in him. It paid off because we definitely took our relationship to a new level after that!”
Summertime is for relaxation, so it’s the perfect time to let go of your nerves and put yourself out there. Who knows; he could be waiting for you to make a move!
3. DO go out with a guy who isn’t your usual type.
We all saw how well it turned out for Allie and Noah, didn’t we? This summer, don’t be afraid to give that random guy you met at the Kenny Chesney concert a chance! It’s good to get outside of your comfort zone a little every now and then, and you may find that you’re pleasantly surprised when you do.
4. DO use the warm weather to your advantage.
This may seem obvious, but don’t forget to take advantage of the summer heat! Instead of just sticking to your standard dinner-and-a-movie date night agenda (yawn), head out to the outdoors. Think drive-in movies, outdoor bars, hiking, kayaking, and stargazing. Being outdoors together is a different bonding experience than being indoors, so grab your guy and go on an adventure. On a sexier note, higher temperatures can make for a hotter hook-up, so get a little frisky in the park or take a nice (skinny) dip in the lake together.
5. DO keep it a little mysterious.
If you’re lounging around by the pool or having a boring day at work, it can be tempting to pull out your cell phone and text your summer fling for some idle conversation: “Hey, what are you doing?” or “Work is so slow today!” It seems harmless, but it’s best to reserve these texts for your friends. Staying in constant contact with your guy will zap the mystery out of the relationship, and when you do finally get to hang out, you won’t have much to talk about since you’ve already told each other about your entire days! Keeping each other guessing will keep things exciting, so let him wonder what you’re doing all day; he’ll be anticipating the moment when he finally hears from you.
6. DON’T blow off group outings in favor of alone time.
During the winter months, it’s okay for you and your guy to hole up over the weekend for a few lazy movie nights. It’s cold, you have a ton of schoolwork hanging over your head, and half the time you’re too tired from studying all week to do much else. But the summer is a time where you should be letting loose and being social. Instead of spending so much alone time, go out in groups and spend time with his and your pals. After a night out with friends, he’ll be even more excited to get some one-on-one time with you.
7. DON’T have long-term expectations.
Expectations are the root of all disappointment, so your only expectation for your summer fling should be to have fun. While it’s fine to be open to the possibilities of where things could go, you shouldn’t be holding out for a certain outcome. Summer flings are all about physical chemistry, mutual respect, and the recognition that things are most likely short-term. You can always wait ‘til the end of the summer before you think about if you want to keep things going in the fall—for now, just have fun!
8. DON’T feel pressured to DTR.
The summertime is about relaxation and enjoying life, so don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out. Instead of stressing over what your relationship status on Facebook should be, just enjoy spending time with your guy. Allow the relationship to naturally progress, and as the summer winds down, you should have an idea of where things are heading.
Kayle, an alumna from Kent State University, did exactly that and couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. “I met Justin* at a bar at the beginning of last summer and immediately fell for him. We never really had a discussion about exclusivity or ‘dating’ or anything; all we knew is that we loved spending time together,” she says. “Once the school year rolled around, it was so natural for us to be around each other and everything just felt right. We eventually made things official, but there was never any forced ‘what are we?’ talk. I feel like if there would have been, it would have just put unnecessary pressure on both of us.”
Remember: the most important “do” of a summer fling is to have fun! Try out these tips and get ready for your hottest, most unforgettable summer yet!
*Names have been changed.