As a 4’10” college student who stopped growing in the fourth grade, I'm well aware that I'm short AF. There are countless articles and videos about the struggles of being a short gal, but what about all the weird crap we do? Like, seriously—we use an EZ Reacher and Grabber just to get a plate down from the second shelf in the cupboard. Let's face it—short girls do some things a bit differently.
1. Climbing kitchen countertops just to get a cup…
Who even put those up there?
2. …and subsequently jumping off…
For dramatic effect, obviously.
3. …but secretly imagining that you totally did a back flip off the counter
Because you're on Simone Biles' level (not really, though).
4. Practicing your snarky comeback to when someone asks you how short you are
Idk, how rude are you? Needless to say, you get into some serious imaginary arguments during your morning shower.
5. Googling the requirements to model kids' clothes
I mean, you're constantly being mistaken for a child anyway. It just isn’t fair that you actually have to be a kid to be a kids' clothing model.
6. Owning and using 400 safety pins on a daily basis
How else are you going to “tailor” your cutoff shorts that somehow still aren’t short enough to fit you? Seriously, who has time to sew anymore?
7. Shopping in the children's section
It’s obviously for your "niece," who’s 276 months old.
8. Walking on your tiptoes when nobody is at home
Clearly, you’re just imagining what life would be like if you were two inches taller, practicing wearing all those Fashion Nova boots you can’t afford to buy yet.
9. You dare yourself to fit into small places and containers
You’ve tried it all, from oversized purses to suitcases to drawers. At least you know for a fact that you can stow away in your bestie’s hiking backpack.
10. Walking across campus behind a tall person to get the sun out of your eyes
It might not be as stylish as wearing sunglasses, but it’s def cheaper.
11. Or using a tall person as a human shield on a cold winter day
It's a perfect way to protect your hair from the wind.
12.Or hiding behind a group of tall people because you saw your ex across the bar
Sure, the group of taller people (granted, who isn't taller than you?) might get suspicious after while, but it's totally worth it.
13. Having a step stool in every room
They’re the focal point of your apartment at this point.
14. Wearing maxi skirts as dresses
Throw on a waist belt and you’ve got yourself a maxi dress that doesn’t have 40 feet of extra fabric trailing behind you. After all, you have to improvise to be stylish.
15. Telling your friends what age you're claiming to be before you hit up a buffet
The hostess asks you how old you are as soon as you walk in, so why not reap the benefits of the 12-years-and-below price?
16. Bringing seat cushions to a movie theater
Who cares if you’re on a movie date? You need to be able to actually see the movie screen.
17. Measuring yourself to see if you miraculously grew
Growth spurts in your mid-twenties are a thing, right?