First dates are stressful for literallyeveryone. For lazy girls, they're extra stressful. We actually have to get out of our comfy spot on the couch and socialize in the outside world. The first anything is always ambiguous, so there's no way that a lazy chick can formulate a hack to make an easy connection with someone on the first date (unless of course, the rest of you lazy girls know something that I don't—in which case, help a gal out).
Unless your first date includes ordering a pizza and watching a movie with your boo, there are plenty of things that lazy girls hate about first dates (and getting ready for them). Here are 17 of them.
1. You have to set 20 alarms just to make sure you wake up from your midday nap
Seriously, this whole date thing is interrupting your precious snooze time. Ugh, so inconvenient.
2. Then you actually have to leave your bed
Why couldn’t you just go on a Netflix-and-nap date? The struggle is real.
3. And shower
It isn’t even your scheduled day to wash your hair!
4. And actually think about what you’re going to wear
Rather than just throwing on any old T-shirt and sweats.
5. You just realized that you don’t have any clean clothes
How can it be time to do laundry already? You just did it, like, three weeks ago. Time to get creative with the outfit.
6. You keep checking your phone to see if they cancel last minute
Sure, you’d have a bruised ego for a hot minute, but you’d ultimately be relieved because canceled plans = relaxation.
7. You just hate going through so much work getting ready for only a few hours of fun
Three words: Cost benefit analysis.
8. And you know the chances of it working out are slim, so why bother?
I could just not.
9. It'll probably start out super awkward since you're always running a few minutes late
In your defense, you were just procrastinating leaving the house. After all, what lazy girl likes going through the hassle of opening her bedroom door, much less driving?
10. You have to refrain from talking with food in your mouth
Because that’s rude or gross or whatever, which is completely unfair because you love to multitask. Plus, what kind of person asks you about your job while you’re shoving pasta in your mouth?
11. You actually have to think about interesting things to say about yourself…
This usually comes after the dreaded question, “What do you like to do for fun?” And you have to figure out a way to make sleeping, eating and watching TV sound enthralling.
12. …so you contemplate just staying single
After all, if you stay single, you don’t have to go places and do things—well, other than those pesky things called work and class.
13. You get freaked out by serious conversations…
Yeah, asking about your childhood and what you wanna do in the future might seem like normal questions to ask on the first date, but now you have to spend time actually talking. You definitely dig small talk more.
14. …except, you sort of hate small talk, too
Because now you have to find a way to make your day seem interesting. Online shopping definitely counts as business development, right?
15. You realize just how uncomfortable wearing a bra is
Seriously, why did you choose to wear a bra for this date? Oh right, because you don’t want them to stare at your chest all night.
16. You know they'll want to continue hanging out after dinner
But this date has been like a whole hour and you just want to put on your comfy yoga pants already.
17. That weird goodbye limbo takes so much energy
Granted, who actually likes this part of a first date? You’re both getting ready to say goodbye, but you both linger to see what the other person is going to do. Are they going to kiss you? Should you hug them? Should you shake their hand? No, that’s weird. Definitely weird. This whole process takes up way too much of your valuable Instagram time.