There's nothing you enjoy more than popping open a bottle of your favorite funky juice and staying in with your fave playlist and your glass of wine. Sound like you? Here are 16 signs you love wine, love your friends and, most importantly, love being a wine mom.
1. You LOVE gossip—even if it's about a person you've only met in passing
I CAN'T believe she did that! I mean, I totally can because it's so typical… What's her last name again?
2. Gossiping about adults beats gossiping about your peers any day
You need higher stakes than your usual college drama; give me a marriage in shambles, an affair with a mailman or something of that magnitude.
3. You'd rather sip wine and play your own playlist with your friends than go out and deal with drunk strangers
Yeah, I'll be in my living room werkin on a cheese platter while playing ABBA. Enjoy getting shoved all night to the same beat over and over and over.
4. Your friends all ask you for advice
You're not really sure why they do because you're also a complete mess, but you will gladly pretend to know something to help them out!
5. You're secure in your wine mom-ness and don't mind skipping some of the less-than-glamorous milestones that come with your 20s
Public humiliation, projectile vomiting and lowered self-worth are all things you're okay with missing.
6. Your sober self and your drunk self are basically the same person
Which means people are constantly wondering if you're drunk at work or sober at a party. You like to keep them guessing, though.
7. If you don't have your coffee in the morning, you let everyone know
It's not that you're grumpy, so much as it is that you like saying, "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee!"
8. You appreciate signs with snarky sayings
Admit it—you laughed.
9. This goes without saying, but wine is your favorite type of alcohol
It's yummy grape juice that makes your body feel free and your mind feel silly. Pass the bottle.
10. You're always trying to get buzzed
Drinking in moderation is cool, kids!
11. Pinterest is your favorite pastime
Planning for your future wedding, looking up cool new recipes or DIY party favors and finding good quotes to put in your planner are right in your wheelhouse.
12. You loooove having people over to your house and making it nice
You are the hostess with the mostess, even if you eventually suffer a mental breakdown like our girl Dorinda.
13. You're a master with a bottle of Shout or a tub of OxiClean
All that wine, you're bound to leave some stains. And you'll be DAMNED if you let some red wine ruin your favorite top.
14. You drink your red wine with a straw because you are rightly concerned about your teeth getting stained
One stain that's permanent is red wine enamel. Use a straw and avoid looking like that gang ^
15. You're here for a good time and a safe time
Wine never hurt anybody… Right?!
16. Summer is your favorite season because it means frosé, white wine spritzers, sangria AND SO MUCH MORE!
Guess what ingredient all those cocktails have in common???
