Clumsy girls are everywhere. Chances are, you either know one or you are one. We can't all be as graceful as swans or as poised as ballerinas; however, if you're frequently described as awkward, foolish or just plain clumsy, it's likely you're a total klutz. You can't help it, you just seem to have this tendency to drop things on yourself, run into stationary objects and trip over your own two feet. You're not exactly proud of this, but it's not your fault. After all, you didn't choose the klutzy life--the klutzy life chose you.
1. You're fairly certain you were actually born with two left feet
It's an absolute curse.
2. You trip over everything
It's a gift, really.
3. You can just as easily trip over absolutely nothing
This takes a surprising amount of skill.
4. You're convinced all household furniture is out to get you
Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by that couch in the corner.
5. Wearing high-heeled shoes is a disaster waiting to happen
You expect me to walk in five-inch stilettos and not fall flat on my face when I can't even master the kitten heel? Cute.
6. You're constantly waking up with strange, new bruises
Maybe you're fighting crime while you're asleep? The world may never know.
7. People always ask where you're getting your bruises from
And you never know how to answer them because you really don't have a clue. Please, someone enlighten me.
8. Wearing white is pretty much impossible for you
Stains, stains, and more stains.
9. Any sport is going to require a significant amount of time to learn
The process will be filled with plenty of embarassing fails, no doubt.
10. You experience the feeling of true terror when someone in your direction yells "catch!"
The lack of coordination is very real.
11. The dark is a scary place for you due to all the potential objects you can and will trip over
The daylight doesn't help much, so it's no surprise the night will inevitably be ten times worse.
12. Glass plates, dishes and cups are the enemy
Too many potentially dangerous objects waiting to be dropped.
13. Lighting birthday candles is obviously out of the question
A fire on your birthday? Not-so-happy birthday to you.
14. You are the queen of covering up your almost fall with a funny dance move and a good laugh
You obviously meant to do that. Duh.
It's hard being a girl as it is. Being a total klutz definitely makes your daily life that much more difficult. Whether it's avoiding cutlery, certain colors, or pieces of furniture, every perpetually clumsy girl knows that her nature can and will get her into awkward, embarassing, and potentially painful situations. But, at the end of the day, there's nothing else to do but embrace your klutzy girl status in all it's foolish glory.
