Alright, you’re crushing hard on someone and they haven’t started to ghost you just yet, so you’re ready to take the plunge and ask them on a date. However, you don’t want to make some elaborate display of affection just to ask them to
share eat individual taco twelve packs with you. After all, who would want to make something more complicated than it needs to be?
We get it, asking anyone can be nerve-racking. But seriously, you should just take the initiative and ask your special someone out on a date. Someone’s got to make the first move. Even if you are a lazy girl, you aren’t necessarily lazy or apathetic, you just implement resourceful hacks to get everything done in half the time. You’re essentially the lazy girl MacGyver.
And if you’re a lazy gal looking to ask a dude on a date, you shouldn’t use that as an excuse not to ask them. After all, lazy girls ain’t got time for excuses. You’re too busy formulating the latest and greatest abbreviations for already short words, so you don’t have to spend more than a minute sending the perfect text. Seriously, if you’re a fellow lazy girl who’s interested in a cute fella, you need to get over the weird stigma that girls shouldn’t ask a guy out on a date. It’s well past the dark ages and a lazy girl can ask out anyone they want to. Unless you want to ask your dog out on a date, which would actually be pretty awesome. You two could go on a long walk in the park and get some ice cream afterward. Plus, you wouldn’t have to worry about awkwardly bumping into any of your exes.
This is why you need to eventually woman up and ask your potential new bae on a date, the lazy girl way. Whether you’re a professional lazy girl or you just adopt the lazy girl’s methodology from time to time, there are several ways that even the laziest of lazy girls can ask someone out on a date. After all, lazy girls like to go on dates too.
Send them a GIF or meme
Seriously, who doesn’t love a dank meme or a funny GIF? That’s right, everyone loves them, unless of course it’s some embarrassing GIF of you. In that case, it’s perfectly understandable why you have a hatred of GIFs.
GIFs are a simple way for any lazy girl to flirt, because you can have an entire conversation without actually typing a single word to them. Want to know how your beau is doing? Send them a GIF of Joey Tribbiani asking literally anyone, “How you doin’?” Did your eye candy send you that same GIF before you got the chance to do the same thing? Beyond them being a total keeper, you can easily send them one of thousands of thumbs up GIFs. It’s literally that simple.
Plus, sending a GIF takes virtually no time. Well, other than the time you’ve spent searching for the perfect GIF or meme. JK, you actually just went with the first relevant visual that says, “Date?” on Reddit. Unless of course you can’t find a GIF for your specific conversation and you must curate an entirely new GIF from scratch. But let’s face it, you aren’t about to do that — ever.
Personally, I love using GIFs to ask someone on a date, because it makes the whole date-asking experience less stressful. Because you can just send a special someone a viral image to ask them on a date, you feel less vulnerable because you don’t have to make a big ordeal about asking them out in person. And what lazy girl wouldn’t want to save some time and energy? Plus, asking someone out on a date through a GIF makes the whole experience more fun.
Ask them to prevent you from becoming a third wheel
As much as you try to convince yourself that you’re totally fine with being a third wheel with Becky and Justin, it gets pretty nauseating seeing those two make out for the twelfth time when you don’t have someone to nauseatingly smack lips with also.
Why not stop yourself from third wheeling it — at least for a little while — and solve your dateless quandary? Asking someone to go on a double date with you is a lot less stressful for everyone involved, because now y’all don’t have to put the weight of a steady and interesting conversation on just two people. Now, it’s four peoples’ burdens!
Rachna Shah, a freshman at Dartmouth University, explains that asking someone on a double date “can often be an easy way to get the guy to know you better.” Which is great idea, because double dates and group dates in general take the tension off every party, because you don’t know to put the put the pressure of holding an engaging conversation between just two people. If anything you could easily just ask your potential lover to help you go on a double date with your bestie. After all, who could leave you hanging like that?
Better yet, why not ask your friend to hook a girl up? After all, your bestie is probably borderline worried about your love life (or lack thereof) after you’ve tagged along to the fifth “three-person date” this week.
Send 'em some grub
After all, the way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach. Even if they don’t have a heart, everyone likes some tasty food.
Don’t worry cooking is not necessary for this date-asking recipe. Leann Bailey, a Full Sail University alumna, explains her fail-proof method to asking someone out on a date. “I just randomly send a guy a pizza or a burrito with a goofy pick-up line to ask them out on a date,” says Leann. Woah, how have I not thought of this before?
After all, who says girls — even the laziest of girls — can’t send a guy an unexpected meal with a cute pick-up line asking them out on a date? Okay, the society might think it’s “weird” (whatever that is), but tell society to shove it! I mean, guys like getting pizza and pick-up lines, right?
Spontaneously sending someone a delivery of their favorite food is a great way to get them to go on a date with you. While you could deliver them a pizza in person, that's way too much work for a lazy girl like yourself. Instead, you should just craft a great way to ask them on a date and add ask the restaurant to write it in the box, under "special delivery instructions" that every online order form seems to have. Other than the time you spend ordering and drafting your clever pick-up line, this method takes little to no time at all. This way, you can spend the next 45 minutes or so waiting to get a text from the cutie you sent the edible date invite to.
Just you know, make sure they're actually home when you send them their grub, otherwise their roommate will snag it.
Seriously, just ask
No tricks, tips or hacks necessary — just straight up ask your
love like interest out on a date. Your best chances of actually landing a date is to bluntly ask. And no, asking your SO or potential SO to hangout is not asking them on a date. Channel your inner Liz Lemon and ask your boo thing to go to a movie or something (so you can sue them for some petty reason afterward).
It’s 2017 and modern technology makes everything easier and quicker. Some people might find it an informal or insincere way to ask someone out via text or DM, but you should get over that outdated unofficial rule ASAP. While your smart phone might be a crutch in most scenarios, it’s a great way to get over the awkwardness of asking someone face-to-face if they want to go on a date with you.
Although virtual communication methods might help a lazy gal ask someone out, it can still be virtual impossible for you to get some inspiration to easily ask someone on a date. Like, where do you even start? Don’t worry girl, there are some lazy girl approved texts to send your crush:
- Hey, wanna grab drinks sometime? (After all, everyone needs to drink.)
- Can you bail me out and go with me to get food with my bestie and her boo thang? (Who wouldn't help a damsel in distress?)
- You're hungry, I'm hungry, let's go get lunch. (Short, sweet and to the point.)
- Are you my appendix? Because I want to take you out. (Who doesn't like a classic?)
- Wanna go to the dog park and play with strangers' doggos? (Or you know, steal them.)
- Did you want to come over to my place and eat a bunch of junk food and watch Netflix? (What lazy girl doesn't love a good Netflix and chill?)
Seriously, forming the perfect text to ask someone out on a date is that simple. If any of the pre-crafted texts above seem too artificial in you and bae's conversation, then feel free to be blunt and ask them to do something specific that you'd know that they'd enjoy. If they like fishing, ask if they want to go fishing sometime. I know, fishing seems like a lot of work for a lazy gal. Trust me, you'll just be sitting there by a relaxing body of water, getting some sun and chatting all afternoon. Just be sure that you're clear that it's just you two, to make it obvious that it's a date.
After all, honesty is the best policy, so why not be straightforward with your courting approach? You can save so much time by just asking a person on a date. If they say yes, that’s awesome. If they say no, that’s a lot less awesome. Regardless, you can get on with your lazy self, so you can have more time to be productive and update your LinkedIn profile. Who are we kidding? In true lazy girl fashion, you haven’t updated that thing in years — it still says you’re a babysitter in Rockford, Illinois. In reality, you’re just going to have more time to binge-watch Netflix, gorge on pizza and use the excess grease as a 5-minute moisture mask. I definitely haven’t done anything like that before.
You might think the hard work is over, but a lazy girl’s work is never done. While you’ve found the easiest hack to asking your crush, now you actually have to prepare for your date. You know, by finding the perfect lazy girl approved outfit to wear and an easy breezy hairstyle to match.