I’ve always had this feeling like I was destined for some big life. Like there was something out there that only I was meant to do and it would be amazing and special and people would know my name. I just have no idea what it is yet. I’ve always been a little different, a little on the outside, a little too caught in my head… I just always thought that meant I was fated to do something more.
I spent my childhood building worlds with Barbies, and imagining conversations with the latest teenage heartthrob, because we were obviously meant to be together. I read books about demon hunters and vampires and quirky girls that made boys fall to their knees. I watched movies about far away lands and life changing adventure, and I craved it all. I didn’t just want an ordinary life.
It didn’t matter what stage of life I was in, I always dreamed of what was next. In grade school I dreamed of the promise of high school, in high school, the freedom of college. Now that I’m in college I can’t wait to graduate and begin my life. I’ve spent so much time imagining what my life could be, I’ve forgotten to stop and see where I actually am.
As a little girl it was my biggest dream to move to Europe and live a completely adventurous life. Now I’m sitting in my apartment in Sweden and I’m taking it for granted. Like everything else, I’m counting down the days to what’s next. My life has literally ended up exactly where I always dreamed it would, and what am I doing about it? Lying in my bed, binge-watching Modern Family and eating pasta for every meal?
Sure, one day I can look back and say I lived in Europe for six months and it was amazing and I “lived like a local,” but I couldn’t tell you the coolest underground bars to go to or where they serve the best Swedish meatballs. I don’t know how to speak the language, and I rely on Google Maps more than I do my own familiarity of the city. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’ve always dreamed of living in Europe but now that I am I’m doing nothing to take advantage of it. I’m just lying in bed, dreaming of going home.
I’m not saying don’t dream. Hell, if anything I’m saying the opposite. Have dreams. Big ones. But don’t waste your life dreaming and forget to actually live. Have dreams but have drive too. Because what’s better than daydreaming, then waking up and realizing your life is everything you wanted it to be? Take a second and think about what you always wished for as a little girl. Now look at where your life is heading now. You might be surprised to see you’re already there. I was.