Actress Mayim Bialik is known for her role as Sheldon’s nerdy girlfriend Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory, but before she became Sheldon’s better half, Mayim earned a PhD in neuroscience from UCLA, proving that she definitely deserves a spot in The Big Bang Theory’s gang of scientists! With her new book, Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular, Mayim is filling us in about what it means to be a girl, from a scientific and neuropsychological perspective.
We had the chance to talk with Mayim about why this perspective matters, what her website has taught her and what she would say to girls in the STEM field today.
Your book Girling Up tackles what it means to be a growing girl, but from a scientific and neuropsychological perspective. Can you explain what that viewpoint entails and what inspired you to write this book?
Mayim Bialik: I was actually approached by an editor at Penguin, Jill Santopolo. She had seen an article that I wrote for Grok Nation, which is my website about what it’s like being a late bloomer and playing one on TV. So I had written an article about the episode where Sheldon and Amy have coitus for the first time. The reason she reached out to me—she said, “You know, there’s not a lot of people who talk about that sort of shyness and finding value in being a late bloomer.” She said, “You’re not coming from a religious perspective or a political one, that’s just who you are!” And she said, “How would you like to write a book and use that sort of voice?” I sort of took it one step further and said, “Well, what if I did an entire book about being female?” And that’s what she let me do. I wrote this book about everything from puberty to dating to nutrition to learning to dealing with physical things and how we make an impact on the world as females.
Because I’m trained as a neuroscientist, obviously I always find the science in everything, and I really felt like a true understanding for all females, of our experiences as females, should involve a basic understanding of the science and the hormones that go into what makes us who we are and how our experiences actually impact us psychologically and biologically. For each of the chapters—obviously somewhere it lends itself more, like in the chapter on sex and dating and puberty—but in general I try to present sort of an academic perspective on being female, including more of an anthropological perspective on the way that we see our bodies isn’t the way that every culture sees women’s bodies. A lot of that stuff about what’s beautiful and what’s attractive and what we find attractive is culturally determined.
What part of the book are you proudest of, and why?
MB: Gosh, let’s see! I mean, I’m proudest that I was able to write a chapter on sex and dating, even though I was really shy about it, I guess! I think I’m proudest of the conclusion, which I literally wrote last, which really was the final revelation of why I wrote this book and why, even though it sounds overambitious, it actually felt really right. As I wrote the conclusion, that’s sort of what I realized—that this book is about everything because females are about everything. We’re not just one book on the shelf. You shouldn’t have to pick up eight different books to understand who you are and how your body works, so I really tried to put it all in one.
Why do you think readers will benefit from this factual-but-fun look at growing up?
MB: I’m hearing from a lot of people that they wish they had this book when they were young, and there have been books that I had as a kid—you know, Our Bodies Ourselves—that really did seek to educate women, that really made tremendous strides, but the challenges to females now are different. I haven’t seen a book that deals with issues of sexting and online dating and body image issues and mental health struggles and notions of what is gender and what does that mean. Those kind of aspects for 21st century females, we really do need to address, so that girls have a place to use it as a reference in case they aren’t getting that information elsewhere.
Do you think there has previously been a taboo about girls discussing these kind of subjects with each other?
I don’t know if it’s taboo, but I think a lot of people [would say], “When are you going to write a book about boys?” Well, most books are written by men for boys for all of human history! I do think there are a lot of aspects to the female body that we are squeamish about as a culture, even [with] the notion of thinking about different sizes and shapes and types of breasts. I included a diagram in the book showing a variety of different breasts, saying, “All of these are normal! Here’s what a menstrual cycle looks like often, and if yours is different, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.” [There’s] sort of a sense of empowerment about knowing all these differences that I think is very important, and I think that also things like menstrual cycles and birth control, those are things that in general get talked about in political terms or in hushed tones in doctors’ offices. I feel that one of the first steps toward empowering young women is to give them the knowledge about their bodies or basic biological perspective so that they can know what’s normal and what’s not.
You run a website called Grok Nation, which covers parenting, faith, current events and more. How did your work on the website inspire aspects of your book?
MB: Honestly, starting this website was sort of my first foray into seeing if people, and women in particular, were interested in thinking about some of these things on a deeper level. It’s not a typical celebrity site, it’s not a lifestyle site, you don’t get to find out what my favorite jewelry is—and it’s not important, I don’t really wear jewelry! So the website was really my first experience also experimenting with this voice of writing to a younger audience and not sounding like a boring mom because that’s really what I don’t want this book to sound like. You know, I don’t know it to sound like, “Don’t have sex until you’re married,” because that’s not going to resonate with a lot of people. So I definitely think Grok Nation prepared me for that in helping me learn the best way to present the information I want to present to the most people, even if they don’t agree with it. And we really tried to present all perspectives in this book, meaning if you’re a late bloomer, there’s nothing wrong with that, [and] if you’re not a late bloomer, there’s nothing wrong with that. I think honing a non-judgmental tone is what Grok Nation helped me do as I prepared for this book.
You have a PhD in neuroscience, but you’ve said in the past that you initially struggled with science in college compared to your peers. What advice would you give to girls who may also feel passionate about something but still find themselves struggling to keep up?
MB: Yeah, I came very late to the world of science. I got interested when I was 15 years old from a biology tutor that I had…I’ll be honest and I talk about this in the book—I wanted to go to medical school and I did not have the grades. And I don’t know if there was any amount of tutoring and extra help that could have helped me get to medical school, but what I will say is that I took advantage of all the resources that were available at my university. I went to all the office hours, I went to the school counselor, I went to the departmental counselor to see if there were other things I could do. I really turned as much of my life over as I could while still trying to maintain a social life to some extent, but I think knowing one’s limits is also really important. I was never going to get into medical school, but I found other options for what I could do to be a science communicator and do research and teach.
What advice would you give to girls specifically pursuing a STEM field today?
MB: I happen to think that that line of study, no matter what you end up doing with it, is an incredible way to receive training as you enter the world of adulthood. There are a lot of different ways to be a scientist and, as I said, one of my strengths is a science communicator, but it is not easy. It’s not easy being a minority, it’s not easy being a woman in a field where women have traditionally been underrepresented; so it’s not always easy. I heard astounding, disturbing things from men and women…about how women should behave, how they should dress, how they act. That stuff is going to exist—you’ll get a real, strong lesson in the roles of women in the world when you pursue a career in STEM, and you get to find your own way! You absolutely do.
You recently released a video called “‘Girl’ vs. ‘Woman’: Why Language Matters” about how grown women are often still referred to as girls while men are never called boys. Why do you think it’s important to be vocal about issues like this that often go overlooked?
MB: I don’t know if I have like a grand thesis—this is something I’ve been angry and ranting about since I was about 14 years old. So the decision to put some of these thoughtful rants of mine into a YouTube space is a new one; it’s really something I’ve only been doing in the last year, and we have a lot more. My video on science and religion and how I don’t feel a conflict between those went viral after the women and girls one did, but in particular with ["Girl" vs. "Woman"], it’s so interesting. A lot of women responded, “Gosh, don’t you have anything better to think about? I love being called a girl,” and that’s totally fine! People are going to have different experiences, but I think what’s important to realize is we do live in a world governed by science, and the way that we talk about people absolutely has an impact on how we treat each other and how our brains formulate the way we see women. Many people may choose not to engage in it, but it’s sort of what I’m doing with all these YouTube videos I’m trying to put out…The more serious ones are trying to make people think differently about things.
The Big Bang Theory has at least two more seasons in its future. What do you hope to see your character Amy experience in that time?
MB: Gosh, I don’t know! I view playing Amy a lot like I do life—you don’t always know what’s going to happen. I think sometimes things happen that are out of your control. The episode that aired [on May 4] has Amy being sent away far from Sheldon, and [in] the season finale our writers took a very big risk. I honestly have no idea. We don’t find out what happens until the night before we get a script…I really think that this show and my relationship with Sheldon, I really think it could go any number of ways, and I think that’s the fun of our show and the fun of playing this character in particular.