We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong or a recently wrecked relationship, or you’re wondering how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.
I've been trying to get this particular guy to notice me for a while. I haven't really had a conversation with him because we only have our large lecture courses together. He always sits a few rows behind me, so I have no idea how to approach and talk to him! What’s your best advice? – Lecture Love at LSU
Sometimes I have a problem with approaching people, so as easy as it would be to just say, “Go up to him and say hello,” I know deep down that for some people, that simply isn’t possible.
But hey, you’ve got options!
If you are one of those people who can muster up the courage to walk up to someone and initiate conversation, I’d say to go for it. I think a line like, “Hi, I was wondering if you’d want to grab lunch and help each other study for the next exam” would work fairly well.
If you’re not one of those people, then I would advise upping your “creep game” (which is apparently what all the kids are calling it these days. I prefer the title of “super sleuth”). Nothing overly dramatic or stalker-y of course, but I’ve heard from various sources that taking note of what he’s wearing or talking about and showing your interest in those things can help. One of my friends said that when she was in a situation similar to yours, she took note of the fact that he talked about hockey. The guy was apparently cute enough to make her Google what he was talking about and bring it up in conversation, then keep the conversation going through the suggestion of a coffee date.
In her case, she did actually enjoy hockey — she just didn’t know much about the player he was talking about in particular. Needless to say, I don’t advise faking common interests. Relationships are built on honesty, and if you’re basing your dating life on a lie, then things aren’t going to end well. At the very least, listen in for common interests — even if those interests are only slightly related — because then you can get your foot in the door.
That being said, you definitely have other options.
One: you could change seats and sit closer to him. It’s a bold move, but at the very least you’ll be able to ask him for a pen or ask him if he knows what the professor is talking about. It’ll force you to interact with him, more or less.
Two: if he says something in class (maybe the professor asks him something, maybe there’s a discussion going on—I won’t pretend to know how your class works) you could chime in after him and spur further discussion. After doing that, look back and give him a sly little smirk and introduce yourself after class.
You’re not totally out of luck, LSU, but I understand your dilemma. Hopefully one of these methods will help you take this in-class crush out on an actual date.