Alright, listen up everyone. Us proud women of 5'3" and under would like you to know a few things. We love that you are just ~fascinated~ by our general smallness and think that we are the cutest things on the face of this great earth, but there are a few things we are sick and tired of hearing. Let it be known that you should NEVER say one of the following things in our presence ever again!
1. “I bet you could fit perfectly into the Mickey Mouse costume at Disneyland!”
We could also play Minnie, Wendy and Alice for your information.
2. “You would have done sooo well on that season of America’s Next Top Model for short people.”
*Gags*
3. “Do you know the height to be considered a legal midget?”
It's under 4'11", but thank you for implying that you're curious about whether or not I qualify.
4. “You’re not short, you’re fun size!”
You just stole that phrase from a t-shirt that existed back in 2006. We've all seen it. Let it go.
5. “Your head, is like, the perfect height to be an armrest.”
DON'T YOU DARE REST YOUR ARM ON MY HEAD!
6. “Can you grab me that–uh, nevermind.”
Puh-lease, we can reach anything by climbing.
7. “Is it hard for you to date tall guys?”
No.
8. “I almost didn’t see you there!”
Yes you did, stop pretending.
9. “Your poor children are going to be so short.”
Well, guess I better just not have any kids then, right?! I don't want to ruin their poor little lives by birthing them out to be SHORT!
10. “Wow, can you fit into children’s sizes?”
Just because we are short doesn't mean that we are the size of stick figures.
11. “You’re so lucky. You can wear heels and you’ll never be taller than your date.”
But who wants to wear heels anyway?
12. “Here, you stand in front for the picture because you’re shorter.”
Oh, should I even bother trying to sorority squat too? No? Okay.
13. “Can you leave the tall guys for the tall girls please?”
No.
14. “Can I pick you up?!”
No.
15. “The only reason your weight gain is noticeable is because you’re so short.”
Thank you for thinking that in depth about my body.
16. “Do you ever wish you were taller?”
Do you ever wish that you were smart enough to come up with better conversational questions?
17. “It must be a bummer to always have to get your pants shortened!”
Yeah, you definitely have us on this one. It is a bummer!
