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The Emotional Stages of Shopping for Louboutin Makeup

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If you're a broke-ass college student such as myself (if you're reading this, then there's a 95 percent chance that you are), then you understand the many struggles that come with this lifestyle: picking up alllll the shifts at work because rent is due next week, and eating peanut butter straight out of the jar because bread is too luxurious (and you have no money for grocery shopping). Which is why, when I learned that Christian Louboutin will soon begin selling eye makeup that costs more than my weekly grocery bill, I experienced a wide range of emotions:

1. Sadness

Wow, must be nice to be able to drop $70 on a tube of mascara. I didn't even buy my favorite wine last week because it wasn't on sale. Being poor SUCKS.

2. Rage

Wait, what the actual hell? Who spends that much money on makeup? There are starving children in the world! And people like me who sacrifice $8 wine to make ends meet! Where is the justice in the world?!?!

3. Confusion

...how? and why? Why do things cost so much? What is the meaning of life? Who are these people who spend this much on makeup? Why don't we use the barter system anymore? Why does money even exist? And how do I get more of it?

4. Frantic math computing

How many Chipotle burritos could I buy with that much money.....?

5. Justification

Well, if someone can spend $70 on mascara I shouldn't feel bad about spending $20 on lipstick, right? Right.

And finally,

6. Acceptance

Maybe when I have an actual full-time job and marry well (fingers crossed), I can afford to buy Louboutin makeup. Probably not, but honestly It's kind of ridiculous anyway, so who really cares? I'm just as happy with my $8 bottle of wine.


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