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10 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself & How to Stop


This article has been syndicated to Her Campus from Eyeliner Wings & Pretty Things, an InfluenceHer Collective member. Read the full post here.

As always, a new year brings in a ton of self-reflection and resolutions, which inspired me to write this post. I was thinking about a lot of things I hope to change in the new year (which is a load of crap because you can just change whenever a new year is not necessary) and I thought, why not make it into a post? A lot of the things I’d like to improve on turned out to be things that are, in a way, sabotaging myself and my own happiness.

So, once again, here I am giving advice that I should also be taking. I need to stop giving good advice that I won’t take…definitely counting that as an unofficial number eleven on this list. Hopefully, if these are also ways you’re sabotaging yourself, you’ll make these changes with me.

1. Taking things too personally

I’m the queen of this, or maybe the duchess because duchess is a little bit less extreme. When someone doesn’t text me back right away, I automatically assume the other person is dead or hates me or both. I do this instead of rationally acknowledging that people aren’t always on their phones, contrary to the belief of most baby boomers.

Bluntly, taking things too personally can be a bit narcissistic. Thinking you cause everything or things are caused to target you specifically is almost a way of thinking all things and people revolve around you. Did that make sense or am I getting fake deep? Anyway.

Fix it: Acknowledge that the world does not revolve around you and not everyone and everything is out to get you. Haven’t you ever accidentally hurt someone? Whenever you feel yourself getting into a funk of taking something personally or blaming yourself, remember that other people are living their lives like you are and there are so many other factors contributing to every bad mood, weird text, and misspoken word.

2. Not being more mindful of how you’re spending your time

I pride myself in having great time management skills but in reality, I just finish tasks quickly and do random, meaningless things with all of the extra time I created for myself by being efficient. This is a shitty use of time and ought to be stopped.

Just think of all of the times you’ve woken up at 10 AM and haven’t gotten out of bed until 11:30. Think of the time you’ve spent scrolling through Instagram while waiting for your friend to meet you for coffee. Think of all of the books you could’ve read and tasks you could have accomplished in all of that time!

Fix it: Try the Pomodoro method when completing tasks. It involves timing yourself and allocating certain amounts of time to tasks. Don’t plan every second of your day, but do have some control over your more lax ways of spending downtime. For example, if you want to relax by watching YouTube videos but know you have homework, try limiting yourself to only two videos before working instead of endlessly running through your “Watch Later” playlist.

Read the full post here.

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