I never understood those girls who just hop from one SO to the next, who simply cannot be alone. I think that’s the main problem with technology. Social media means we never have to be alone. The constant need for attention and co-dependency is granted through “likes” on Instagram and swipes on Tinder. As long as we have a cell phone in our pocket, we never have to feel lonely.
But what about the girls who cherish those moments in between relationships? The ones who define success through self-fulfillment? Who need to feel solely responsible for themselves and their decisions? The girls who believe an SO is not a necessity, but a luxury?
Independent girls are picky girls. I’ve been single for most of my life and am perfectly happy to remain that way. As a result, I don’t take crap from anyone. I’m comfortable being on my own, so I’m not willing to jump into a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat me well. Being independent doesn’t mean I’m anti-relationship, it just means I’ve had time to realize my own worth.
If I do enter into a relationship, it has to be based on mutual understanding. I am my own person, just as you are; we have our own goals and ambitions, and that’s okay. I don’t see what good can come from sacrificing my individual goals for the betterment of the relationship. I don't want to feel guilty about pursuing my dreams. I'm here to support and encourage you, but also challenge you. Just because I love you doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything you say or do.
That’s the No. 1 trick to loving an independent girl: just because she’s in a relationship doesn’t mean she has to stop being independent. She’s going to need some time to herself. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, that’s just what she’s used to. You don’t have to worry about texting her every second (it would probably just annoy her anyway). She’s perfectly happy taking herself out for dinner or going to the mall alone. And, honestly, boys' night is strongly encouraged. Neediness and clinginess are so foreign that they become frustrating. Remember to take some time apart to live your individual lives.
At times, I may seem so self-reliant and in control that you may wonder whether I even need you in my life. I do. I’m comfortable being alone, but that doesn’t mean I always want to be. I still like lots of affection, and being told how much I’m loved. I still prefer to be the little spoon. I’ll be the handyman if you kill the spiders. No matter how independent I am, there’s nothing wrong with having someone else put a little effort in for me, too.
