College girls are the most mysterious creatures on the face of this earth: we somehow manage to go through 50 shades of procrastination and still make it out on the weekends. Sometimes we struggle with finding the happy balance between living a normal, routine life and lurking in the dance clubs until 4 a.m. the night before a giant exam. But hey, that's our life, and each day is more interesting than the last. Here's how a typical day in the life of a college girl goes.
“Why in the world did I set my alarm for 8:15 a.m.? Class isn’t even until 9.”
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“Okay, I can sleep for 7.5 more minutes if I wear a sock bun and leggings... 10 more if I wear a ponytail.”
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“I’m trying to move at a jogging pace so I have time to stop and get coffee before class, but that’s not going to happen if this girl in front of me doesn’t start moving knees to chest.”
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“Never mind! My professor is in line and I skipped class yesterday to finish my show on Netflix. Coffee can wait.”
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“I get to class two minutes late and this girl is sitting in my seat. We are three months into the semester - it’s a well-known fact that that ismy seat.”
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“SCORE! We’re watching a documentary about ancient Shakespeare history. I’m gonna look up delicious food recipes on Pinterest.”
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“Whoa, hold up… who is that guy, and why have I never noticed him in this class before? Screw the Pinterest recipes, I’m looking at him for the remainder of these 90 minutes.”
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“Wait, there’s a pop quiz on this movie?”
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“Okay, now that I didn’t pay attention in class, I have to go home and get some work done, especially if I want to go out tonight.”
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“I’ll read a few chapters and then take a break.”
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“After that hard work, I deserve a treat. Plus, my roommates just got home. I’ll study more after I get some brain food.”
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“I have yet to eat anything that grows out of the ground today, but screw it - I’m only gonna have this young metabolism for so long. In that case, make that three Doritos Locos Tacos.”
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“Alright, I’ve wasted two hours that I should have spent doing homework. There is no possible way I can go out tonight.”
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“But my roommates are being bad influences. They keep telling me I’m only young once and there are only so many Fridays left in my college career, so I gotta spend them the right way.”
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“Fine. They convinced me. I’ll go out.”
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“But unless they want me to be crotchety and grumpy all night, I’m gonna need to squeeze in a quick catnap.”
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“Getting up this morning was impossible… but getting up to go out is no problem at all.”
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“I need to eat something before I start the night, and it should probably be something nourishing and unprocessed…”
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“…but I have no groceries.”
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“Now I need to make a good shower playlist to get myself pumped for the night out.”
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“I have to look hot tonight. Who knows, I might see that guy from my Shakespeare class this morning.”
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“Except I've already worn every piece of clothing in my closet in every combination possible about five times already.”
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“Alright, whatever - this will have to do. I’m starting to sweat from getting ready and I am over it.”
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“Something about the girls’ response to my last-minute outfit makes me feel like I should change…”
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“...but you know what? I don’t even care. Let’s just get the night rolling.”
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“I need a new profile picture, so I’m boycotting Alyssa and taking my good side in every picture tonight. And I’m gonna play coy and try and get some hot ‘effortless’ poses.”
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“Okay, I know I didn’t do anything I needed to get done today, but I’m going out and doing what I do best. I will not feel any guilt.”
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“I lied… my conscious is being a b*tch and I’m starting to feel so guilty about everything I didn’t do today. I have got to stop procrastinating because it's really starting to take away from my ability to let loose.”
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“But my roommates aren’t having it. Apparently the bar isn’t the time and place to be worrying about that. ‘We’ll go to the library all day tomorrow,’ they say.”
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“You know what? They are right! I'm gonna let loose and have fun. That homework will be there tomorrow.”
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“I’m gonna release my inner seductive side and go hit on some boys.”
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“Okay, never mind - that’s not working. Maybe some classic pick-up lines will work.”
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“That didn’t work either. Now I’m getting tired and I just remembered those leftover cheese fries waiting in the fridge. Time to go home.”
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“I won’t lie to myself, tonight was fun. But to make myself feel a little more productive, I'll check my email before I pass out in my deep, booze-and-cheese-fry-induced slumber.”
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“THAT ONLINE QUIZ WAS DUE AT MIDNIGHT?!”
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“I always tell myself I will learn from this. Every. Single. Time. I have to get my priorities straight.”
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“But until then…”
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