Ladies, I won’t even try to lie to you—we men have a habit of being somewhat unreadable. Throughout time, guys have been stereotyped as hardened, stoic and emotionless beings. Unless our football team loses an important game, squeezing emotion out of us is like squeezing water from a rock.
So when you take this trait of being unreadable and mix it with virtual communication like texting or Facebook messages, things get a little confusing. Guys aren’t professional communicators (even I, a communications major, lack a certain amount of expertise in the area), so sometimes, it seems as though our messages convey something vastly different than what we intend. I say “sometimes” because there are times when those messages mean exactly what you think they mean.
But that’s why I’m here! I’m here to help you navigate the male mind as best I can so the next time you get a confusing text from a guy, you maybe won’t have such a hard time cracking its code.
1. “Send a pic!”
This is one of those texts that generally means exactly what you think it means. The guy who sends this text is probably looking for some R-rated shots of what’s under whatever it is that you’re wearing. It’s bold, brazen and usually inappropriate. It’s worse if you two aren’t even dating, because then you have no idea how many girls he’s sending the same text to. On the off chance that you two are in fact together, don’t be surprised if he asks for a picture when you tell him you got a new dress.
What to do: I had a friend send her boyfriend a picture of her butt one day just because she thought she was having a particularly good butt day, and I think that’s fine because she sent it to someone she trusts. If a guy you hardly know (or don’t know at all) is asking you for “pics,” however, you’ve got to decide how much you trust said person. Personally, I feel like if he isn’t someone you’d take a bullet for, then he isn’t someone you should send naughty pictures to.
If you’re already in a relationship with the guy as opposed to a blossoming fling, I feel as though the sentiment is the same. Only you can decide how trustworthy he is, but if he sends any odd signals (whether you’re in a relationship or not), then your best bet is to keep the pics to yourself… or just keep the nudity between the two of you in private settings.
2. “I’m busy right now, but I’ll let you know.”
In most cases, this guy is not actually busy, and unfortunately, will not actually let you know. It’s his version of breaking up long before the two of you even begin dating. I find that this kind of message comes after you’ve intimidated a guy; he goes from talking to you all the time to pulling back and keeping his distance.
What to do: Tie up loose ends if need be and cut him off. Unless you know for a fact that he’s actually busy, acknowledge that he’s probably not interested anymore and move on.
Getting a one-word text (“Okay,” “Fine,” “Maybe,” etc.) usually means that a guy is distracted or upset by something. You can ask us if anything is wrong, and we’ll probably respond with “No” (or something equally as short). However, if you get this text from a guy after a normal conversation, don’t be surprised if he’s just busy. Maybe he hopped in the car to go buy you some flowers, and we all know that texting and driving is dangerous.
What to do: If this kind of text comes after an argument, refrain from sending a dozen “What’s wrong?” texts and just give the guy some space. If it’s sudden or comes after a seemingly normal conversation, consider that he might actually be busy with something and only had time for a quick message. Settling arguments is generally a face-to-face kind of thing, not an over-the-phone kind of thing. If you find yourself in the midst of an argument, a simple “We can talk about this later” text should suffice.
4. “I didn’t hear my phone go off.”
This is another one of those texts guys send after they’ve realized they’re in too deep. Men usually send this message when they need a break from the constant communication, and I personally have used this excuse more times than I care to count. It’s one of those little white lies that we can generally get away with, because unless your phone is always cranked up to the max volume, it’s entirely plausible and almost completely foolproof.
What to do: Your best bet is to just take his word for it, because he very well may not have heard his phone go off. Unless he’s a repeat offender – someone who has given you reason to be suspicious – take his word for it and don’t ignite any arguments where they need not be ignited. A lack of trust spreads like wildfire and can doom any relationship in no time at all.
5. “You still up?”
When I say “booty,” you say “call”… because that’s pretty much exactly what this text is looking for. Guys don’t ask if a girl is up at 2 a.m. just for laughs, and they don’t ask if you’re up because they’re afraid of the dark––they ask if you’re up because they want to hook up. After all, it’s 2 a.m.; do you really have anything better to do? Of course you do, but that won’t stop some guys from trying to get lucky.
What to do: Unless you’re as desperate as he is (something I seriously doubt), delete his number and ignore future texts. Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with booty calls, but if the request is sudden and it’s the only thing you receive from him, I think you should stay away from that situation.
Let’s be honest: we all send confusing texts from time to time. The reality is that unless you attach some kind of emoticon with your message, it’s hard to discern tone in texts. Because of this, things can often get misconstrued. Hopefully this guide to the five most confusing texts guys send will help you out, but if you’ve experienced other confusing texts and need more help navigating the somewhat confusing male mind, give me a shout!